I posted this in Alternachicks originally, but I would like more input on this:
Maybe I'm stupid to be complaining about this. I do logically realize that I have lost a substantial amount of weight. I do realize that I am only two dress sizes away from meeting my goal. But I can't get past thinking of myself as morbidly obese. My opinion of myself and my weight has not changed one iota since I was busting out of a size 26. I got into a 16 recently. I know this is a substantial weight loss. But I still hate my body, and I don't want to. Has anyone else gone through this body image thing? What does one do to get past it?
Yes! I feel you, totally. I guess I'm going through the same thing. I'll see my collarbone and be "Niiiice!" then see the pudge around my arms and feel awful.
I've lost weight in my life, gained, lost more, and re gained. And the entire time I've disliked my body. I don't think this so much stems from weight issues but low self esteem and weight is a good excuse for that. I'm not really sure what to say except you should try and appreciate yourself, I think with time it gets easier.
This may seem like a flippant reply but I'm serious and do think she has a point ...
I love the show "What Not To Wear". Over and over I hear Stacey talk to folks who say things like "I hate my body". Once they try on something that fits well and flatters them, they begin to see that maybe the old bod is not so bad after all.
Can you do that? Take a good friend with you. One who will be honest. Don't take a yesman or someone who will let you dress like a hoochie.
Go to some good stores. Pay no attention to the sizes. Just dress in something fabulous that fits. A pencil skirt and a fitted blazer ... wide legged trousers, high heels and a blouse that skims your torso ...
You need to see that all bodies have redeeming qualities. Yours can be fabulous too.
Hey! You know, bodies are what they are. I've lost a pretty good amount of weight, but I'm never gonna look like I did in my 20s naked. Heck, my 30s either! And that would be true even if I didn't gain and lose, because time passes. You can either be miserable about that, or you can accept it and go on, cheerfully. Try to focus on something other than appearance. Think about what you've gained as you've lost!
I'm in great physical shape now, and healthy--even with some saggy skin and some weight that I could still lose. Hate my body? Gosh, where would I be without it? It's always done exactly what it's supposed to do, including store fat when I overate and lose fat when I changed my eating and exercise. I have great blood pressure, low blood glucose, and I don't take any drugs.
For dressing up, Spanx and other "form control" underwear can make a lot of difference when you're clothed, which is most of the time, isn't it?
It takes time for the mind to catch up with the changes. SusanB has some good suggestions--go out and see yourself in good clothes!
I think you may have a really good point, SusanB. I am still mostly wearing my old clothes because I don't want to waste money on new clothes that I will be out of in a month or two. A size 26 hangs on me like a tent. Maybe I should splurge on a nice outfit or two. I've worked hard to get where I am.
Lauren, I am working every day to appreciate myself more. It's not easy, but I guess deciding that I am worth taking care of was the first huge step.
Jay, it's not about how I look so much. It's about how I feel. But I hope you are right about it taking time for the mind to catch up with the body.
Thanks Lauren, Susan, and Jay, for your comforting words.
I'd definitely agree with fitting. Sometimes it's nice to have so much room, because it makes you see how much you've lost. But then you often look frumpy.
I also understand not wanting to spend money. I'm the same way, largely because I'm a broke-*** college student. But here's a trick I learned--find ways to tighten things up. Wear a cinched belt, use safety pins. You can do a lot of amateur tailoring without shelling out much cash.
I am totally with SusanB on this. I love WNTW. It taught me so much. The only thing I wish I had all those fabulous stores here they have in NYC. It is not always easy to find nice, flattering outfits if one doesn't live in a big city. (oh yeah, a Bank of America credit card preloaded with 5 grand would help, too). :-)
I started to wear colours that I would have otherwise not picked up (thanks to WNTW) and guess what, I even got compliments on how they suit me. Go figure! But mostly I learned a lot of things about shape etc.
Do I understand that you are still wearing 26 even though you are size 16 now? Lady, do not go, RUN, to the nearest clothing store! Oh and by the way, big congrats on going from size 26 to 16. You rock!
Lots of us shop in second hand stores for interim clothing. But check out the wow stores first. Get your shapes and colours figured out before you go second hand shopping.
Another thing is that folks are going to notice your weight loss when you move to smaller clothing. That's always an emotional boost too.
Seriously, no wonder you feel awful about how you look. You must look like you're walking around in tents all the time. There's no way you can enjoy and appreciate the differences you've made in your body when you're wearing clothes that make you continue to look fat.
I can't imagine continuing to wear clothing that is 4 sizes too big for me and feeling good about myself.
Target, Walmart, resale shops, even goodwill. I'm not saying revamp your whole wardrobe right now, but spend $100 or so and buy clothes that fit. It'll change your world.
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Last edited by PhotoChick; 10-26-2008 at 10:19 AM.
Hey, even if you don't want to buy the expensive new clothes, at least go try them on. Take a camera and snap a picture of yourself in the mirror.
I'm learning that how you treat yourself, including what you choose to wear, does make a difference in how you feel about yourself. I started going through my closet to declutter and realized how much clothing I own and still wear that I wouldn't consider good enough to donate to Goodwill.
One thing that I've found is helping, and I do have a long ways to go, is paying attention to my body. I got some Bio Oil to try to help with stretch marks, which I have everywhere. As I put it on, I try to concentrate on the body parts and think how grateful I am that I have my body. My upper arm may be big and flabby, but I'm glad I have an arm. That sort of thing. You're supposed to use the Bio Oil twice a day, so two times a day thinking this eventually has some impact (although I don't always make it twice a day.)
I swing between extremes. One minute I look at myself and think, Wow, I look great. The next, I am depressed by my belly, saggy thighs etc.
As others have said, wearing clothes that fit and look good makes a huge difference. (My "wow" times all come clothed, it is the rare person who looks better naked.
The other thing is that I still don't have a good sense of what I look like...I am constantly trying to compare myself with others, am I thinner or fatter. Do I look "normal". I hope someday I can see my body realistically.
You've made a huge change in a relatively short time. Your mind needs to catch up. Get those clothes! (And the suggestion to go into some higher end stores and try stuff on is a great one.)
Body Image Issues
You know, bodies are what they are. I've lost a pretty good amount of weight, but I'm never gonna look like I did in my 20s naked. Heck, my 30s either! 
And that would be true even if I didn't gain and lose, because time passes. You can either be miserable about that, or you can accept it and go on, cheerfully. Try to focus on something other than appearance. Think about what you've gained as you've lost!
