That's funny - I was just thinking about that. All of my family is always on some diet or another and I was anticipating when they see me actually wearing a bathing suit this summer and they ask what I've been doing (I know, I know, it's a way off but "visualization" is part of my motivational program). Honestly? I think it's going to be like one of those old family recipes that when you give it out to friends you "forget" to write down that one key ingredient that makes it special
But I would wear a 3FC T-Shirt around town - just not to family reunions. Is that bad? That I would be willing to go on and on to a stranger that might benifit from coming here but not my family?
Another reason i share is because the more people that know about my goal, the more it makes me wanna keep at it . I felt before that if i keep it a secret, i might give up when things get a little tough, so i tell all who are wanting to lose weight and i even invite them to look at my profile which has an awfull pic of me in the now that makes me wanna keep going. it makes me feel like i can't hide anything ( like food i may sneak before ) This helps me think...." Everyone kows im on a diet, i don't wanna quit and look like a quitter, like food rules over my happiness. " It may sound weird to some people, but i think the more people who know, the more you realize and look at yourself and wanna change for the better!
I told my best friend, and she's now a member, though I don't see her here often anymore. I've also talked about 3FC to my friend-who-is-a-boy-person....he's very understanding and supportive and i'm not embarrassed to talk about the fact that i'm unhappy with my weight around him.
But, I don't do a lot of advertising for 3FC. Just like I don't do a lot of advertising for WW. I feel like it's sort of a private issue, and I'm terrified of what other people think of me already... they might outright snicker if they heard that I was trying to lose weight.
I have told 2 ppl, my sister and my roommate. my roommate bc she saw it on the comp one day, and my sister bc she is my sister. She doesn't know my username though and I don't want them too, bc I don't want ppl reading up on me, or looking at my stuggles, etc.
I tell anyone but those that need to lose weight have never taken me up on my offer.
As for my sister, It would be a bit awkward - we are very close sisters but not buddy friends. Since she has never had a weight issue and breaks out in hives at the mention of dieting, I don't have to worry about that for now.
No, I dont share with anyone. Like most people I want a site that I can go to with people that have the same struggles like me and be able to relate with their stories and theirs with mine.
I have PCOS and I LOVE the PCOS forum on here because I can ask a question and someone ACTUALLY knows what I am talking about. Plus I feel comfortable talking about things related to the condition with everyone here and not with my friends.
Plus, I get the support I need from people that are REALLY going to lose the weight. My friends say they are and dont. I need real support!!
Also, I can get away from the real world and come on here and vent to everyone and because we all have the same goals and deal with most of the same struggles someone will reach out to me and help me. I am tired of hearing "awww poor mally" its like yea thanks for the awesome words *sigh*
Oh and also, when I come here I dont have to be ashamed of my weight, condition or anything.
Last edited by Nicoyaangel; 01-18-2008 at 11:04 PM.
Reason: one more thing ...
I told my boyfriend because I figure I'll probably want to share stuff I see/read on here with him, so there's no reason in putting it off. Besides, he understands that I need a place to go for support, and that real life just isn't going to give me that. Neither of us are very good at self-control, so depending on him for support would just be silly. And most of my friends that would actually support me live clear across the country in California. I haven't told my family, but that's mostly because my parents live in Texas/Montana and my sister lives in Mississippi.
Hmn, this is a hard one. I haven't shared with my immediate family, it's a secret source of strength that makes me feel like I have one up on the rest of the world. My cousins (who are like sisters, we were raised close and often in the same house) aren't understanding about my need to be healthier, they are very large and see my weight as ideal. They'll say stuff like, "Oh, what I would do if I weighed as little as you!" I'm 5'3 and 200lbs. I've told my girlfriend, whom is as close as one gets to me, but it's not her kind of thing.... I've told one other person than that, my childhood friend who suffered through being morbidly obese with me through middle and high school. She kept gaining while I was losing, our relationship became tense, and I wanted to have something in common- so I gave her the url. That's it, and I don't think I'll be sharing it with anyone else. 3FC is kinda like my secret army.
I have told my friends and my family about this site. For a short while my DD posted here. I've also told my Hepatologist as he is a real stickler for his patients attaining and maintaining a healthy weight. He wrote down the info to pass on to his patients. Of my other friends and family that "want to lose weight", none of them cared to join the site. (which is fine with me).
Now that I'm maintaining it wouldn't bother me if people I know saw my before pic's or knew how much I weighed. I was fat and it wasn't like they didn't already know that. If anyone that I know comes to the site, it's a no-brainer to figure out which poster I am, my current pic is on my avatar.
I'm also one that could use 3FC cards to hand out. I'm always quoting stuff to family and friends (my husband has even occasionaly asked me to tell someone about "that fat chicks site you go to." I do that for TOPS too, because I've heard so many people complain that they can't afford WW, so they think there isn't any alternative. The first things I suggest are this site and TOPS if they feel they need the accountability of IRL weigh-ins (I certainly do).
I've recommended both to my mom and sister, but they keep saying they mean to check it out, but keep putting it off. They would recognize my username immediately because it is one of the nicknames my father gave me as a child and still uses. I usually mention the site at least every other week at TOPS, and I never gave it a second thought, except after giving the site address to a woman I later found out was VERY nosy and likely to spread gossip. That made me a little self-conscious at first, but she lost interest in the site very quickly.
I can certainly understand both sides, but it's not like online support groups are super secret societies. If someone is looking for support online, they will find it (here or elsewhere) after a five minute internet search.
I tell everyone about it...probably gets on everyone's nerves but I don't share my screen name. I do think that people that know me really well would be able to pick me out. I do like the anonymity also especially since some of what I've shared on here my mama don't even know. And we are extremely close.
but I feel like I need a place where I can come for support...that is just for me. A place where I can just be myself and talk about ANYTHING. Losing weight is such a personal thing and it has so many emotional issues attached.
Do you share this site with your overweight friends and family? Or do you keep it all to yourself like me?
I feel the same way, I don't even tell others that I am on a diet b/c I don't want the pressure. Its like others don't truly understand what I go through day to day and on here you guys do. So I can be free and let it out, it's like my own little secret world of supporters on here. I am on another message board and it is totally different, all they care about is seeing your pictures even if you've only lost 1 lb almost like they want to see if you're lying, but they don't care about the emotions, struggles that come along with trying to lose the weight.
So I didn't feel like I was getting the support I needed, but here I do.
I'm new and the only person I've told that I read/post here is hubby. He's also trying to lose weight, so I thought he'd like to at least peruse the site and see if anything interested him. I don't know if he knows my username, but I don't logout, so he'd see my username at the top if he came here on this computer.
I probably wouldn't mind sharing this site with close family or friends. It would depend on the person though if I shared my username with them. It's not that I would be embarassed about them seeing my weight or anything. But there might come a day that I come here and really need to vent about somebody or something and I might not want them to know it's me.
Funny you should ask...
