Ok, I'm definitely going against the trend here. I believe that my weight actually helped my career. When I was younger and a 125 lbs, I had a hard time being taken seriously in the IT world. As I gained weight people tended to listen to what I had to say, rather than respond to how I looked (blonde bimbo was a common reaction I believe). I perceive that I came across in a more professional manner after I had gained some weight. Now, it could also be that I was getting older. I can't separate the two.
I have a fairly public job and am called upon to speak at regional and state conferences. I have never felt that people did not value my expertise or opinion because of my size. I always try to conduct myself as a professional. I try to dress professionally. While a loathe heels, I try to find stylish yet comfortable shoes that compliment a professional wardrobe.
While I believe that size discrimination is alive and well and all too prevalent, I do think that we can be our own worst enemy sometimes. Often, how we view ourselves, is the most important factor in how others see us.
Last edited by CountingDown; 10-27-2007 at 10:37 PM.
TOY ~ I think your appearance affects every area of life. As someone who has been normal, overweight, normal, O/W, obese, and so on (yo-yoer); I have been many different weights and have noticed that people treated me differently during those times. In your career, your appearance does make a difference as BRANDNEWME can attest to.
BRANDNEWME ~ you have a good education and skills; do not stop applying becuz there are places (esp gov jobs, schools, hospitals) that would hire you. Yes, it will be harder for you; and it may take a little longer, but it isn't impossible, by any means! Do you have any friends in the right places at that hospital who would remember you, and who could give you some help when another position comes open (there are many departments in a hospital or medical clinic).
This is a good topic to discuss becuz someday some of you may be in the position to hire someone, and we could make a difference in someone's life. I know that I was in that position a few times; and I wouldn't allow any discrimination for that very reason.
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 10-27-2007 at 11:35 PM.
brandnewme: im sorry that that has happened to you, that feels like the biggest case of injustice, i hope it hasnt (somehow) made you to bitter (as it would me) and a bit more determined in your diet.
thanks for telling us your story, puts things in perspective a bit.
I too, think that appearance effects my life. I have been a secretary for all of my career life. In my younger years and when I was quite small, I used to be able to get any job I wanted. My DH used to ask me if I went in and sat on people's laps during interviews
Now that I am a bit older and a little heavier I find myself a little insecure. I currently am working as an Admin. Assistant (I've been there 7 years) but I am now thinking about finding another job and I am very insecure. I know that I look older (because I am - 51 yrs.) and my weight isn't helping any. That's one of the reasons I am trying to lose weight. At least I won't look fat and old
ABBY ~ As someone else said, your appearance can also help you to get a job; when I was younger, two different bosses told me that they hired me becuz I was pretty (I was also slimmer then too). But I have also noticed something else about interviews: at least half the time, they already know who they want for the position BEFORE the interviews even take place.
Is this right? NO, but it happens all the time. Sometimes, the interviews are just a formality (becuz of company policy or the law, etc). And sometimes, they may know the applicants ahead of time (ie a relative or friend; or they are someone from another department). I wish they wouldn't bother asking all these people to come for interviews in such cases; but that won't likely ever happen ...
I agree that as you get older, you do feel more insecure; I remember one of my brothers warning me about this, and he was right!
it does affect, ive seen people not get hired because of their weight.. they think just because they are on the big side that they wont be able to perform as well as a slimmer person. i have seen it happen, so i know it does limit you and affect you. it did for me as well for a few years but now that ive lost somewhat amount of weight, a whole lot more doors have started to open for me. its sad to see how superficial people are but hey if you are going to go into a job which you already knew requiered you to look the part (example: actresses, singers, models, ect) you have to own it and do your part because sadly.. looks do matter. alot... i know from a personal battle.
I can't help but notice that many here are saying "I'm fat; that's why I wasn't hired." You know, PERCEPTION holds a lot of weight (no pun intended!)
So really - how would one KNOW that? It's more of an assumption than anything, because unless you're told that you're overweight & didn't get a job because of that, then you are projecting. (Unless of course weight IS a part of the job description.)
I found out a long time ago that people who snag an interview are asked to interview because their resume &/or experience qualifies them for the job. The interviewing process is simply to find out which candidate is the "best fit" for the job/company. Since learning that, I have learned to ask WHY was I hired (or not hired) for a position, so that I can better myself.
For instance, in the job I had before the one I am currently in, there was another candidate from WITHIN the company. She was black, short (5'), and fat (about 300 lbs) and qualified for the position. When I was hired... me - 5'3", white woman, 135 lbs (back then!) ... she really took it personally, and coincidentally hated me... ... anyway, she brought a CASE against the director (white, older male) accusing him of racism, because he hired ME, a white woman who had no college degree (but LOTS of experience) instead of HER, a black woman w/a college degree (but not quite as MUCH experience.) The case was thrown out, as there was no racism to be found.
My point is - she THOUGHT she didn't get the position because she was black. And overweight. That was HER PERCEPTION. I did ask my boss WHY he hired "me". Why did "I" get the job. He said "Out of all the candidates, you showed the most optimism & attitude I was looking for; plus your organization skills was a high mark."
So - she didn't get the job - not because of anything to do with "her" personally... but because *I* was the right person for the job, according to the hiring manager.
Seriously-- you think you were hired for your optimism?
I think most of us have had interviews where it was clear within the first 30 seconds that this person would never hire us. (It goes both ways, of course. Most of us have also completed interviews for jobs that we realize during the interview are not what we're looking for.) I have no trouble believing that fatter women have that happen more often than thinner women.
Last edited by MariaMaria; 10-30-2007 at 12:55 PM.
Seriously-- you think you were hired for your optimism?
Yes. Why not? I'm a very optimistic person, and my organization skills are quite impressive.
Quote:
I think most of us have had interviews where it was clear within the first 30 seconds that this person would never hire us. (It goes both ways, of course. Most of us have also completed interviews for jobs that we realize during the interview are not what we're looking for.) I have no trouble believing that fatter women have that happen more often than thinner women.
While I agree with you, in theory, my point is that we don't KNOW why anyone was 'hired' or 'not hired' - we can speculate, we can figure, we can project - the only person who REALLY knows is the person in charge of the hire.
Also, I've known many overweight people who have literally no self-esteem (IMHO because they confuse their body image with their self image) and you must know how that in itself can figure into everyday life, especially upon hiring procedures. When you're at a party, I can spot the wallflowers immediately. I can tell who has optimism or pessimism by the way they talk, their body language, the way the hold themselves when around a crowd.
Quite often, body language speaks louder than any words ever could.
Last edited by Beach Patrol; 10-30-2007 at 01:18 PM.
I've been as high as 200 during an interview and as low as 125. I was never really treated differently (that I could tell) during interviews. But that may be because my job's a behind the scenes research type of job where knowledge & experience are key & the demand for people with those qualities is higher than the no. of people with them.
The main weight related thing I noticed is both times I started losing significant amount of weight, I happened to become a scapegoat for folks with their own weight issues. Perhaps it was a coincidence. In the latest, incident, the beginning of the weight loss happened to coincide with a positive performance evaluation where the head of the dept said she thought I had management potential. Of the 3 main scapegoaters, all 3 were either supervisors/sr. employees and 2 had their own weight issues. It got so bad I found another job & left. Was it because I was losing weight and they were jealous or was it because they saw me as a threat with the management potential comment? Another co-worker lost over 50lbs with Weight Watchers & they started gossiping that she had an eating disorder, which makes me think it may have been the weight.
One thing I looked for while I was interviewing for the position I have now was to see if the people I'd be working with were "begrudgers". Were they upbeat people and happy for the successes of others? Or were they jealous & critical of folks who improved their situations? If the person you'd be replacing got a better job, are they genuinely happy for that person or are they making snide comments? These are good questions to ask yourself regardless of your size when interviewing for a job. Because begrudgers won't just hate you for losing weight. Begrudgers will hate you when you meet that special someone or have a child or buy a new car or move into a new home or get a promotion. Do you want to become their target just because something good happened for you?
One thing that convinced me this was the place for me was the enthusiasm my boss & co-worker have for going to the gym. And it turned out to be an accurate perception & I'm much happier where I am now.
A friend of mine is very into fitness (works out regularly) & enjoys it. She's also very beautiful and dresses/grooms impeccably. She didn't get a job she was well qualified for & she had the sense it was because of jealousy. She's not snobby or vain. In fact, she's one of the nicest people you'd ever meet.
That's not to say there's not discrimination against heavier people. Some people in our society either fear fat because of their past experience (as Nightengale Shane points out) or a fear that they could become fat. And that's projected onto the job applicant.
In the long run, if someone has that degree of issues (either rejecting an applicant because of their own fear of fat or being so jealous of a fit person they reject him or her), is that really someone you want to be working for or with? Because you know that's going to manifest itself in other ways at work.
... anyway, she brought a CASE against the director (white, older male) accusing him of racism, because he hired ME, a white woman who had no college degree (but LOTS of experience) instead of HER, a black woman w/a college degree (but not quite as MUCH experience.) The case was thrown out, as there was no racism to be found.
