I would start by reminding him that they now have to have entirely new wardrobes, and end by sending him the most heart wrenching stories of overweight children you can find, complete with pictures, quotes from the kids about how they were treated in school, etc. I'd let him know that while it may not be at THAT point yet, it can easily get there, and what about when his size 14 daughter starts feeling self-conscious in a bathing suit in front of the boys? Size 14 is NOT small, and other kids WILL talk at times and this could hurt her immensely.
As for getting the weight off, I think you really SHOULD make some changes in their eating AND add exercise. Get them to go with you on bike rides, roller blading, whatever to get in some exercise with them. On the food, you can just change things in the house, those foods you keep on hand, without them even really noticing. Keep sugar free ice cream if they really must have ice cream, or diet sodas if they really need a soda. Put out bowls of fruit to encourage proper eating.
On thing that has worked really well at our house is to split the idea of snacks and treats. My kids can eat snacks whenever they are hungry. My 5 year old will tell me, "You never say 'no' to fruits and vegetables."
Treats are things that they get once or twice a week. We read the labels together, and anything that has a lot of sugar is in the 'treat' category. The rule is that you don't ask for treats...mom gives them as a surprise. I do get a lot of "Have we had any treats this week?" Just in case I forget.
Tonight, I introduced them to chocolate pudding. They had never had it before. It was quite the shock. The beauty of it was when I taught them to dip their bananas and apple bits into it!
Onthetee... you've got some great ideas. Your kids have the advantage of you making good food choices from the beginning. As for me and my lil ones.. we still have our training wheels on. Now.. I don't think I make terrible food choices, but they have much room for improvement. After reading your entry, it gave me the idea to create a GOOD CHOICE/JUNK FOOD picture poster so they can have a visual of the changes we need to make.
I have a son in husky sizes (age 11). He just started middle school. He is extremely well liked, but there have been times that he has been teased about being heavy. He is very active, in 3 sports, but likes to eat (he is his momma's boy!). Anyway, I am working with him on making better choices. I don't think you can make kids "diet" too much because they are still growing, but they need to learn nutrition and healthy choices. What was good this summer is that he and I would walk/run together. He would run more than I would, but we were at a track at the school, so we were still there together. It was fun and helped both of us!
The exact same thing happened when I was a kid - I'd gain 15-20 lbs over the summer with my dad, and my mom would be livid. Unfortunately I have no good advice on how to handle it as I never lost it! But I will say that my mom never explained to me why nutrition and exercise were important, so I never understood why she was so upset. So I would recommend being straight with them.
No, I have never been in this situation, but it must be pretty common, as I have a couple of divorced friends and this issue has come up for both of them, in one way or another.
Do the kids spend most of the time with you?
I wouldn't do anything drastic or obvious, that will make them feel self-conscious, and it is going to be tricky since they have probably developed a taste for all the junky stuff. But keeping only healthy food around, and having casual discussions about good nutrition is a good idea. If this is a change in your house and they complain or ask questions, you can say that you are trying to have a healthier diet for your weight loss and for the benefit of everyone in the house. Tell them you can't keep that stuff around because it is too tempting for you. Not specifically to get them to thin down. And move, move, move. Walks, bike rides, swimming, running in the backyard, whatever it takes to get them moving.
I haven't always been the healthiest cook and I am trying to change that now. My kids tend to be thin, but my DS10 is starting to show signs that he might take after me, so I want to nip it in the bud before he ends up like me! Wish I'd started long ago...
I wish you luck, you obviously have their best interests at heart and are willing to do what it takes to keep them healthy. Next time they are going to their Dad's definitely talk to him. Maybe they are eating because they're bored there? It may do no good, but you can talk to them also about trying to maintain healthy habits all the time.
Height: Tall enough for my feet to reach the ground
I would not be happy...I would talk to your Ex and explain why healthy eating and portion control is good for the girls and not bad and that by letting them eat whatever they want whenever and how much they want is NOT good for thier health.
Thankfully with some stratigic planning and a bit of "lets go for a walk" time with mom they will thin down again and this wont be a starting point for future weight problems.
GOOD LUCK!
Oh and I would tell him that he needs to fork over the dough for a new wardrobe for each of them since he allowed it to happen
Talking to my ex about change is about like talking to a plant. You know it's alive, but it doesn't respond to what you're saying. And, he isn't of financial help at all. I never ask him for help because I know he either won't be able to, or he'll come later w/ an excuse why he can't help. So, a new wardrobe is out of the question. I have been doing this pretty much on my own. All I can say is... thank God for thrift stores and a good eye for a bargain.
