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Old 08-27-2007, 01:30 PM   #1  
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Unhappy Help! My kids came back 2 sizes bigger!

This year was the first time my kids left me for the entire summer. (It almost killed me!) They have been with their father in another city all summer. He apparently let them eat whatever they wanted and as much as they wanted. Naive of me to think we had the same ideas about feeding our kids. My 8 yr old DD left wearing girls 10s and now fits 14s (maybe 75lbs). My 9 yr old DS (who was already "husky") left wearing 30s and now fits 34s (about 125lbs).

I don't want them to even hear the word 'diet' and I don't want to give them too many restrictions on what they can eat. I already limit their sodas/drinks to a minimum. I talk to them about food choices and try to prepare meals that are good for us. (I must admit I have a mild case of 'portion distortion'... but working on that.) We all need to be more active, but I wonder if increased activity (w/o changing foods much) will be enough to make a difference.

Have you been in this situation?
What has worked for you and your children?
What do u think is the best approach?
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Old 08-27-2007, 01:40 PM   #2  
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I would be livid! That is what my ex would do too. The 5 kids would go up there for the weekend and they would be telling me how they ate chips and soda and cake and ice cream....and.....

Hey that is fine once in a while, BUT ALL THE TIME!!!

Oh man!

He recently passed. SO I don't have that to worry about any more.

I think you need to call him and discuss this. If you are on speaking terms that is.

Get them busy walking/biking!!
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Old 08-27-2007, 01:46 PM   #3  
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Hi Jasmine31

Yes, we're on good terms. We are civil towards each other. We just don't work well as a team.. lol.

I talked to him about it and he doesn't see the problem. He's almost proud about it. Especially about "my boy". I usually just kick something and get over it when he does stuff like this because the damage is usually already done... lol.
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Old 08-27-2007, 01:47 PM   #4  
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I'm sure you were shocked when they returned. But, I would think if you get them back to their "norm" of eating, it will drop off. Kind of like when you gain 5 pounds over a weekend of eating too much, it goes quick. I would assume talking to their dad would do no good? Maybe suggest since he "plumped them up", he needed to send home the new wardrobe they now need!!!

Get out walking, hiking, biking, etc. I'm sure it will go away soon.
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Old 08-27-2007, 01:55 PM   #5  
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I understand where you're coming from, even if I am at the "other side". I'm the "wicked" stepmother who makes sure my stepson eats his fruit and veggies.

Is there a physical activity that you can all do together, like biking? That may be one way to combat the extra pounds.

I'd avoid the word diet too, but you might also sit down with them and talk frankly about good eating habits and a healthy lifestyle. You might be suprised about how they feel about the extra pounds. My stepson is 10 and already concerned that he's getting fat, even though he only weighs 60 pounds.
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:00 PM   #6  
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Well I understand if he don't care. But this is serious! Diabetes, heart disease, obesity is real. It is nothing to be proud of. My ex was 340 lbs and 6'4. He passed on at 35 from a heart attack just this week. His mom was about 6'0 and I am not sure her exact weight but they needed two coffins to bury her in. Heart attack, she was 34.

Last edited by Jasmine31; 08-27-2007 at 02:06 PM.
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:02 PM   #7  
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Originally Posted by dixiedieter View Post
I understand where you're coming from, even if I am at the "other side". I'm the "wicked" stepmother who makes sure my stepson eats his fruit and veggies.
I hear ya. My kids were always complaining to their dad cause I cook "old fashioned" and don't have much junk food around. I cook whole foods from scratch and keep junk to a minimum. I am always trying to teach them about healthy eating and the benefits of exercise. Maybe one day they will grow up and thank me.

I wish my parents had done that for me.
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:05 PM   #8  
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Hi,
I agree with everyone else, talk to your kid's dad and tell him what you feel and see. Hopefully he will see the light. Don't mention diet, talk about being healthy, make sure they are outside for at least 30 minutes a day, playing, riding a bike. On the weekends, take them someplace where they will be physical activity. Most of the weight should come off, but remember also kids grow , all kids can't be a size 2, my daughter is 5'1" and right now ways 137 , she is a size 14-16, I worry, but I don't go crazy, I know she may never be smaller than a 12( she has my big hips), but I do make sure we take walks on most school nights, and we try and do some walking on some trails in nearby parks on the weekend. Just remember don't get too upset infront of the kids, and you should be great. cheryl
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:42 PM   #9  
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Have you been in this situation? Honestly no so I have no real advice on how to handle things when they are with dad.

What has worked for you and your children? In my house I am big on portion control and always have been with them (3-5-7 yr old boys). We also have a hard fast role of nothing beyond seconds here (for everyone). We also limit caffeine and sugary drinks. The boys have almost always drank water with a once a year treat of kool-aid. We also limit one snack a day (after school or around 4pm). I don't get much gruff from the kids because this is all they have ever known.

What do u think is the best approach? Honestly portion control and activity. You don't ever have to say its a diet. Its a life style that will benefit them well into the future. Also changing the type foods that are in your house helps as well. Keep low cal healthy food in the house as opposed to sugary snacks (at least for now).

**Note I just read the first post in this thread. I will now read the rest if the story.**

Last edited by JayEll; 08-27-2007 at 04:00 PM.
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Old 08-27-2007, 04:02 PM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasmine31 View Post
I hear ya. My kids were always complaining to their dad cause I cook "old fashioned" and don't have much junk food around. I cook whole foods from scratch and keep junk to a minimum. I am always trying to teach them about healthy eating and the benefits of exercise. Maybe one day they will grow up and thank me.

I wish my parents had done that for me.
If old fashion means not having high sugary fruit frinks/soda and processed starches (whether it be chips or candy), well its just too bad because kids these days eat a whole of of chemical nothings..... When I have kids one day, I'm going to stress that the prehistoric cavemen barely ate and that food was rare, so eating little regularly is a privelige! Gluttony seems to be the norm in my days of youth; when I was a kid, there was no such thing called leftovers because parents made me clean up the plate.
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Old 08-27-2007, 11:00 PM   #11  
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It sounds like you are instilling good habits for your children already.

It's counterproductive to be the weight or food police. My aunt has been on my cousin about her weight since she was young. She's in college now. My cousin goes up and down. She'll go on a really restricted diet, lose weight, and then gain it back quickly.
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Old 08-28-2007, 03:49 AM   #12  
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i no what its like being a tubby kid since i kinda was one a couple of years ago

you need to throw away all the junk that could make them gain more!
get them back to there old habbits excersise everyday playing soccor or tennis or going swimming something thats fun that theyll want to do.

they dont have to lose weight just stop gaining and as they get older and taller they will thin out.

whatever you do dont let them gain all their lives because when they get older theyll have to be logging on to a diet website just lik this and fair enough its good to track your weight loss but to be honest i wish i was fit and healthy in the first place so i didnt have to go on 3fc. (although it has helped sooooooo much with my weight loss and i love it to be here for me )
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Old 08-28-2007, 12:23 PM   #13  
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I was a fat kid because my parents didn't want to give me a complex! I was never obese, but I was borderline overweight and unquestionably overfat. I was actually a pretty active kid, but all the bad eating caught up to me in middle school, along with puberty. (I was a skinny kid, the doctors always wanted me to gain weight, so I ate ALL the time and LOVED JUNK!)

Being a fat kid is very, very difficult... I was ridiculed constantly for my weight, and cried over it often. It drove me to anorexia and bulemia later, even though my parents tried their best not to give me a complex
Just continue to be the food police and take them on walks, maybe parks or nature trails... play a sport or two... keep them active. I wish my parents had been less leniant on food with me, so that I would have never BEEN that fat kid in the first place. I know some fat kids don't undergo all the torture I went through, but my personal experiences make me want to make sure that if and when I have kids, they'll never be fat.
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Old 08-28-2007, 12:39 PM   #14  
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Thanks for all the input so far. I really appreciate hearing all the personal trials. I am currently 278 last I checked... and I refuse to let them get bigger and bigger as I have over the years. I'm making changes for all 3 of us. I'm going to keep our focus on eating healthier and becoming a lot more active. I think those changes will bring the results we really need.

I won't completely take away their 'junk' foods but I will teach them about moderation and portion control. They love vegetables (even though my DD is a picky eater at that), so we are off to a good start. I guess it was just a bit of a shock to see them like that.

I really need a swift kick in the pants for myself though. I hope monitoring my kids food/intake/activities will rub off on me and bring about some new habits that will benefit us in the long run. Thanks again!
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Old 08-28-2007, 12:42 PM   #15  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veggielover View Post
If old fashion means not having high sugary fruit frinks/soda and processed starches (whether it be chips or candy), well its just too bad because kids these days eat a whole of of chemical nothings..... When I have kids one day, I'm going to stress that the prehistoric cavemen barely ate and that food was rare, so eating little regularly is a privelige! Gluttony seems to be the norm in my days of youth; when I was a kid, there was no such thing called leftovers because parents made me clean up the plate.
I know it makes me so mad all the crap they market to parents and kids today! Good thing you know this before you have kids!
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