Hi everyone. I've recently lost motivation to lose weight and I need some help getting it back. I feel all alone in this.
Last week I went to Ohio to shop at a Lane Bryant and saw that they have a new jean system, for girls who have trouble fitting into clothes. They had "J.LO shaped" jeans for the girls who have bigger butts and smaller waists. Then they had the type for me, girls whose belly is just as big if not bigger then their butts. I thought great! Because a lot of companies seem to ignore the fact that women are built like that.
I went to ask the salesgirl about their new sizes (she was a beautiful redhead) and she told me to turn around. She looked me over and said you need this size, it's for fat girls who don't have any butts!
Now...I know that that's the truth. I make jokes about that all the time. But to have a stranger point that out (in my mind I convinced myself that I was too hard on myself, my butt was still shapely and round) hurt my feelings soooo bad.
Being shaped as I am, I feel so out of place. All the rap songs talk about girls with curves, apparently most men love women's hourglass figure, and I don't even feel like a woman because of how I am shaped.
Most women don't understand this, because they aren't shaped liked me. If you ever read the diet book about Apple shapes and Pear shapes, it will open your eyes to how hard it is to be an Apple. They go on and on about how pear shapes have less health problems, have the typical female body, are considered beautiful. Then they say Apple shapes have an overgrowth of make hormone and I'm just like what? Can we not be beautiful too?
I'm not trying to start a debate about which has it worse, but to all the other Apple shaped girls here (please tell me there are some) do you ever feel like I do?
I feel like I could have the flattest butt in the world and there would still be 50lbs. of fat on my belly. I'll never be bootylicious and it bothers me. So I feel like just eating and staying fat before I lose what little bit of "womanliness" I have left. Sigggghhh I hate it when I feel like this.
I can relate somewhat. I'm a bit of an apple shape. When I was at my heaviest (174), I had a noticeable belly. Even after losing 30 lbs, I still have chub on my belly. I do have a butt, but I fear if I lost much more weight, I would lose it (which I don't want to do). So, that's one reason why I've set my goal range to be in the 140s. I can keep the boobs and butt, and can minimize the belly. I've been working on accepting my shape and the fact that I'll probably always have a little roundness there. Getting my navel pierced was something that helped with accepting the tummy chub.
I also do lunges and squats and bike riding and other exercises that help build up the butt.
Oh, yeah! I can relate. My hips measure less than my waist. If I get jeans to fit my waist the rest of me is swimming in them. Therefore I don't even own a pair of jeans. My behind is as flat as can be. I recently started looking at underwear made to enhance that area. My daughter on the other hand is very blessed in that area, and she hates it! What's worse is that I used to be overly blessed in the bust area but after my fourth child I had a reduction and so now I am small on top, small on bottom but have this belly in the middle. Luckily for me if I lose down to a normal weight my insurance will pay for a "panniculectomy". Definitely going to look into that!
What a rude rude rude rude salesperson!!!! I would think that they would teach their salespeople a little sensitivity being that this a store that caters to women who need a different size clothing - and that in itself is a sensitive issue!
I cant exactly relate, because I am more the pearshape and very much still an hourglass - i dont really gain too much in my middle. But I can tell you it can be hard to shop that way too. If I can find a jean to fit my thighs and butt - it is about 3 sizes too big in the waist and a belt doenst even help because the bunching at the waist looks really bad. We all have our issues I guess when we are not thin
You're right that you can't change your body shape from pear to apple or vice versa. The good news for apples is that you can build up your gluteus muscles (aka, butt muscles), which can add a bit of shape back there. And, even if it doesn't, flat and firm is sexier than flat and flabby!
Squats, hack squats, and lunges are all fantastic exercises for the glutes. If lifting isn't your thing, try increasing the incline on your treadmill or elliptical. Don't expect overnight miracles -- it takes a long time for a non-juicing woman to build up significant muscle mass, even on relatively large muscles like the glutes.
I am(was) 100% apple. If I gain any weight back, it goes to my waist and abs first. Even at 120 pounds, my waist is 28 inches and my hips are 34. According to the tape measure method of calculating body fat, I verge on obese, but actually have very low body fat.
BUT....I have a a nice high, round butt (according to dh and the mirror) from HEAVY squats, lunges, and daily treadmill or elliptical sessions. Hill walking (hill lunging, even better)and ice skating will also build you a nice butt. Just sitting on it will not
You can't change your genetics, but you can make the most of what you have. When I was 65 pounds heavier, it looked like I had no butt and I definitely had no waist. I looked kind of like a candy apple
And even if you have no butt once you lose the weight, you can get fancy jeans that add "lift"
Right now I am dealing with issues over how I look....I've lost 66 lbs & when I look in the mirror...I can't see it. I still see my big butt--my hips--and my tummy. AND LORD HELP ME WITH MY FLABBY ARMS!!!
I only have 46 lbs to go....and I keep thinking that I am still going to look as if I haven't lost a pound by then!!!
As for that nasty Lane bryant worker....I would contact the main office and let them know what happened!!! Be sure and give the store location--and if you can remember the time frame!!! I happened to overhear them in my local LB....how they have to keep pushing the new jeans....WHAT A WAY TO SELL THEM WITH HOW THEY TREATED YOU!!!!
We all know we're not skinny skinny....and we're shopping at LB to begin with....and we should be comfortable in a store that caters to us!!!!
Don't let this get you down......try another LB if you really want the jeans!!!
I think I'm a "1" by the by......which is...I HAVE NO CLUE BECAUSE I DIDN'T BUY A PAIR!!!
Hey CherryBlossom, Yeah, I can relate too. I've always been an apple. But the good news is, I have never lacked for romantic attention, so I have not cared much about it. It's possible to be very attractive even without the hourglass figure. Of course, I did look better when I was thinner. I still have about 20 pounds to lose (I'm maintaining right now), and I swear all 20 are on my belly!
As for the Lane Bryant salesperson--I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. I don't think she meant to hurt your feelings, though--she probably wasn't thinking about it as a personal remark.
There is a type of exercise called Callanetics--it's been around for awhile now. The originator, Callan Pinkney, likes having firm, round buns, and so she has developed exercises for them (and of course other body parts as well). You might see if you can come across the book by that name.
I'm an "apple" to my core . Thin legs, not much of a rear, fat through the middle, and no chest to speak of (the biggest I ever was was a B, and even that I can hardly fill).
Here's the cool thing: When you lose the weight, there really aren't apples and pears anymore. I've lost this weight before (and gained it back - kicking myself daily for that) and at my thinnest, I looked great. Athletic but feminine build and not an apple in sight.
Put what the LB gal said out of your mind. Those may have been the right jeans for you today, but those won't be the right jeans for you in a few months.
Don't let some minimum wage, snarky, "chick" (who probably doesn't even by clothes at LB) take away any progress you are making!! She is not worth it!!
You on the other hand are, if you make yourself. Embrase what great feature you do have and make the most of them. Who knows what you'll have when you get to your goal. Maybe you won't have a butt, but it's likely you won't have your belly either. Maybe you have shapely legs... mine sort of are the same diameter from the knee down, and my knees.... ugh! Be proud of the good things and don't focus on the things that may not be as "appealing".
After losing and gaining weight throughout my life, I have realized that I have to like who I am, inside and out, in order to feel that I deserve to be healthier and happier.
And if all else fails, simply get back on track and get to your goal so that you can go back to that sales gal and show her that you don't need her stinkin jeans anyway!!!
Thank you so much everyone, you truly did motivate me. I just replaced my Cokes in the fridge with some water, and I did my favorite exercise tape.
You know, I still think my butt is nice. I weigh 260 and it looks like the butt of someone who weights 180. It looks flat in my baggy pants, but I saw a curve when I took them off. Yes I was examing how my butt looks naked.
Oh and I did get those jeans, because they looked great on me. I'll probably end up getting more. I'm not mad at the saleslady...who cares what she thinks about my butt. It's just that no one's ever told me that what I felt about my butt was true...you know, until then.
Luminous, I'm kinda the same except kinda opposite. lol. My body is narrow, I'm not wide. My hips, shoulders, chest, all that is narrow. When I gain fat it pops out of my front and (and to a lesser degree) back. Turn me sideways and behold how fat I really am lol.
I recently lost 40 pounds, and wouldn't you know, most of it came off of my butt area. I have jeans that I can get my butt into as well as my legs, but my stomach is another story. I probably won't fit into them for at least another 30-40 pounds down, and by then, my legs and butt will get smaller again, and they'll be baggy in those areas while my stomach area will barely squeeze in.
I've always had this problem- first place to gain, last place to lose. Before my last pregnancy (11 plus years ago), I weighed 174, and ALL of the weight was in my stomach. Legs were toothepicks, butt was tiny, arms, chest and face small, but big stomach, which was embarrassing. I think that's why I started wearing lots of dresses and elastic waist pants- not so much for comfort, but because no jeans or button pants fit my stomach area.
I'm surprised that it's taken clothing designers this long to figure out that there are different body types and not all jeans/button pants are suitable for all bodies!
I agree that was terrible of the saleswoman. Don't fret over it though, people are just dumb sometimes.
I totally an apple, but I've been fine with it. I have problems pants shopping because things are made pretty baggy in the butt/hips/legs, but as I've said before, I do OK when buying from the junior's plus department. Anyway, I carry most of my weight in the stomach and have always been glad that my lower body wasn't even bigger.
Body Shape Problems
. Thin legs, not much of a rear, fat through the middle, and no chest to speak of (the biggest I ever was was a B, and even that I can hardly fill).
I have jeans that I can get my butt into as well as my legs, but my stomach is another story. I probably won't fit into them for at least another 30-40 pounds down, and by then, my legs and butt will get smaller again, and they'll be baggy in those areas while my stomach area will barely squeeze in. 
