we had a longer chat and I asked me to tell me why he was upset and he could not elaborate, he just said, because you did not let me know in advance and I told him , yes I did... well then he said, is suspicious because you went when American Idol was on (I wanted to take the Zumba class from 8:30-9:30 pm ) so I said so what???
And then he goes, well you love American Idol, why you left? I said, oh please because I wanted to take the class... and then he said, oh maybe you'll see someone there now that you look all pretty and all...
So I started to tell him that was ridiculous and he can come with me and finally he understood. I also took my gym schedule and place it on the fridge. So we can see I am not lying on anything
OH MEN

Carolva77, it is SO good that you talked this over with him and came to some understanding! Often people fail to do that and just keep on fighting and not getting what's going on. I'm sure glad that you and he did get it out in the open between you.

Keep going! You're fine!

Jay

This whole thing just sounds bad to me. I don't mean to be a downer - but having been there & done that... I'm a little worried about you carolva77. Domestic violence claims so many lives... not just physically, but so many women are emotionally & mentally messed up after such a relationship ...

Let me just say: I am happily married NOW, but in my past, I had TWO boyfriends who were super-jealous. I wasn't "allowed" to talk to anyone else, I wasn't "allowed" to have male friends, they had to know where I was, what I was doing, who I was with, what I was wearing, when would I be home, etc AT ALL TIMES.

Lemme tell ya... that REALLY wore thin after a while. Of course, neither relationship flourished; they both failed miserably! - Mostly because I'm a strong woman & NOBODY tells me what to do, who to talk to, how to live my life. Yes, there were many fights (verbal) & a couple of them escalated into physical. THAT'S WHEN I LEFT. Lay a hand on me & it's over - no ands, ifs or buts!

I'm not saying that your situation is the same as mine - maybe your husband's jealousy stops right there - at sheer jealousy. But I just felt the need to say that when jealousy becomes control & manipulation, that's when it's time to leave. You can't fix it. You can't help him. That is an emotional illness that is best dealt with by professionals.

So please promise yourself that if it ever gets to "that level" - you'll take care of YOURSELF, and know that you are doing THE RIGHT THING. Exercise & diet is the first step to taking care of YOU.

I think you're doing great! :hug:

WELL DONE! :carrot: and keep inviting him...

:hug: thanks
he is just jealous, he would not hurt a fly, but since I got this job and have been working out... he asked me "Are you going to leave me?"
I guess he is insecure but in 4 years of relationship has never been violent and he is also like that with his mom (jealous)

ladybugnessa: that is the plan, maybe he will loose some weight himself!

you have it in a nutshell.. he's afraid you are going to leave him...

it's sad but to counteract this you really really really have to love on him a lot esp after the gym.. it's like with my dogs.. they get used to my giving them a yummy when they go to the crate so they go to the crate willingly.

if he gets used to you loving on him when you get home from the gym he will associate this attention with the gym....

It may be his way of dealing with worries that by going to the gym, you are going to get fit, look good, attract guys, and dump him.

But no. My hubby, when he wasn't working late so much at his previous job, watched the baby after work so I could get to Curves at least 3 times a week. He was happy that I was happy with it. He wouldn't go himself personally, but he's glad I like it. LOL

here's my suggestion. First sit him down. Explain to him...you love him and no one else. You are loosing weight for yourself...and not to attract others. Then tell him, you understand him being insecure and jealous...but there is no reason for it. Next tell him, you wish he wouldn't question every thing you do because it makes him sound like he doesn't trust you. Set everything down on the table and be loving and supportive. BUT HERE"S THE NEXT STEP.....DO NOT baby him. In otherwords everytime he questions you about why did you go somewhere..don't baby him...don't give him the speach that you love him and wouldn't do anything, blah blah blah...you've already told him that. If you allow him to always question...at some point you will get sick of it. And if you baby him...by always conforting him when he thinks you are "looking for others"...he will continue to do it. and eventually it WILL drive you up the wall. Good luck