I started out on my journey having to lose over 150 lbs. That's a whole lot of pounds. So for me, I really did have to make it a priority in my life. It had to become front and center. It takes a lot of focus and planning and energy and it takes a lot of concentrating on *me*. Something very hard to do as a woman and a wife and a mother of three. I think that is why so many women struggle with their weight for so long. It really IS hard to focus on yourself for such a length of time. I told myself though, it really was my time. My children are older now, 19, 17 & 15. The timing was right. I also told myself that it will definitely be benefiting them 150%, which of course is 150% true. If I hadn't completely focused on my weightloss, I honestly don't think it would have happened. And quite frankly in order to sustain it, I think I will have to remain just as focused. We shall see.
I'm gonna jump in here without reading anyone else's posts and just talk about my own opinion on the "obsession" thing, well, because I think this could be a very interesting thread with other's opinions on "obession" when it comes to weight loss.
I'm not sure this may be exactly what the original post is about or comes from (in regards to the other post)...but when it comes to Food / "dieting" / being on program, etc...etc...obesession is all there is - especially when you're a "perfectionist".
Unfortunately I'm an "all or nothing" kind of gal and if I don't do things "perfect" I think, "forget it - there's no point" and go overboard. Which no...that's not healthy in any respect of life - be it food or whatever. And for me specifically, I lost 60 pounds on Weight watchers and i've also gained 22 of those pounds back. When I'm completely "on plan" I obsess. Over every point. If I go over even 1, 2, or 3 points a day, I feel as if I've blown it and that gives me the "right" to say, "screw it...i've already messed up - go ahead and order pizza." which has no validation whatsoever, of course...but that's the way my mind works.
I obsess over having to make sure that my journaling is perfect and I can't ever find a good journal - so I end up creating my own - literally using a ruler to draw in lines of the calender and hand-draw how I want everything to look - and then I'll put it into photoshop (i'm a desktop publisher/graphics designer) and will try to create my own journal as well. But then I don't like the way it looks and after weeks of obsessing over such tiny details like this, I get frustrated - and...because I don't have a "perfect journal" that I'd like - I go off plan and go crazy. Why? well, if I don't have any place to write it down like I'd like to - then what does it matter?
But in the past couple of months, I've been going through some great life-changing events. First and foremost I've moved in with my boyfriend. I've lived with roommates before, yes...but I've never lived with a significant other before - and especially not one where we share our groceries/food/dining/pretty much eat what the other does when we're not at work...etc. This is a HUGE change for me...and the AWESOME thing is that my boyfriend eats healthy & exercises just like I do - but I've noticed a completely different thing about him and his idea of weight loss.
He does NOT obsess. He just "knows" what is good for him and what's not good for him and he eats the GOOD stuff on a daily basis and will once in a HUGE while "splurge" on something not-so-healthy.
But he makes dinner most nights and there's ALWAYS steamed vegees or rice and we always have some sort of EXTREMELY lean meat. He looks for healthy recipes and knows how to "tweak" them if it calls for something we wouldn't normally use (such as flour).
But he just eats NORMALLY like this all the time and doesn't need to CONSTANTLY "obsess" over the small details - such as points or calories. Now, when we go grocery shopping, he will look at nutritional facts and prefers lower fat items, of course - and also tries to get higher fiber / lower calorie, etc...but at the same time - he hates it when i bring my points finder with me because he doesn't see the point.
And I'm getting to understand his view.
It really is hard to think that you can do it on your own without a "program" - and I understand for many people that programs are WONDERFUL things to follow when needing to lose weight, because - as I know everyone knows - weight loss on one's own IS close to impossible - and yeah...programs such as weight watchers, south beach, atkins, etc...whatever works - they ARE wonderful...but for me, I've realized that learning how to use the tools is what the program is about - learning how to eat healthy - make the right choices - find the right type of exercise that you LIKE doing that you're almost EXCITED to do every day/every other day, etc...and NOT obsessing over every single point or calorie.
I know this has been long-winded but I guess I'm just saying that it comes down to not only learning how a program works - but truly incorporating the program into your life and honestly making it your LIFESTYLE withOUT becoming obsessed.
To me and this is just my opinion (coming from an obsessive perfectionist)...obsession=frustration=failure.
I hope any of what I just wrote made sense and/or was worthy of this thread, and not just the ramblings of a mad-woman! bwahahahaa. lol
Susan, no worries, my feelings aren't hurt at all. Maybe I read something into your post that wasn't what you intended. I brought up calorie counting because of another active thread in which we both posted - obsessiveness with regard to calorie counting was mentioned. I guess I kind of combined the threads in my mind.
Also, you commented "I think we need Wyllen (Heather) to come and explain the difference between obsession and dedication again." I may have taken it completely out of the context in which it was intended. I think in light of the other threads that I thought you meant that a certain degree of obsessiveness = dedication to one's program. I just wanted to present what I thought was the other point of view - that while being very attentive to detail (aka "obsessive" in a good way, I guess) works really well for some people, other people really need to step away from all those numbers, because we get obsessive in a bad way.
Like I said, I probably had too many similar threads running through my mind. My feelings certainly weren't hurt, and I hope I didn't come across as rude or defensive, because that certainly wasn't my intention. Sorry for any misunderstanding.
Oh I'm glad all is OK Janie. As you can see Robin and I had a similar mix up. We can get pretty wound into 'life on the board' can't we?
I'm not worried about you, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and have thought your own situation through very well. We'll use you as an example, OK? .... actually I already did.
Well, glad that's cleared up! It's so easy to misinterpret things in type - no other context to clarify the meaning. As for being an example, I guess I'd make a good example of someone who reads too much into other people's posts sometimes! :-)
All righty then ladies (or okey dokey as I say to my baby) back to the topic at hand LOL .
I think the type of plan one follows, whether it be strict meal planning or total restriction of certain kinds of foods, or strict or flexible calorie counting or just "watching what you eat" or maybe just incorporating more exercise. The different variations can be categorized on a range of very rigid to very flexible. The type of plan you choose depends on the type of person you are, what your circumstances are weight and health wise, and what things you've tried in the past and need changing because they failed to work.
In my view, a program is only negatively obsessive if its unhealthy. Meaning you're overexercising, under-eating, vomiting and the like, or not eating nutritiously. Any other type of plan is fair game IMHO. Some people choose to keep this level of focus up just while losing, and some continue into maintenance. I really dont see anything wrong with following whatever approach works.
As for me, I am a "tracker" type so I love keeping my spreadsheet of cals in and out, daily and weekly calorie deficit, daily weight, weekly body fat % (which, BTW, went down by 1% despite a 3 pound gain). It takes me seconds to update every evening and is just something I like doing. As far as being as into it as someone like Robin, well more power to them. I only wish I was so focused but of course Miz Robin has had a longer road than me and following my less strict approach could've taken her (you if you're reading this) years..so it can certainly be helpful to be so focused. If obsession=focus, then I'm with it.
I can see that Susan was posting this from a supportive place of concern for some people (generally speaking) who have issues with food and weight becoming an unhealthy obsession in their lives.
I think that I would fall into that category (I am not saying that you were talking about me though specifically, Susan ). But, for me it is a serious psych problem and is disabling. Totally. And I am getting professional help for it because it is so all consuming for me.
But, I also think that Susan is right; that there are a lot of supportive people on this board to "talk to" even if just to say something for the sake of saying it, for the purposes of getting it out and maybe having a friendly ear give some advice/support/commiserations back. It does help.
So, all in all, I think that this was a thoughful post that probably needed to be addressed or just said. But, that is the problem with writing and not speaking........we can't hear Susan's tone or inflection and things can get confused really easily. Correct me if I totally misinterpreted your post though, Susan, because that is what I took it to mean........
OK is is very interesting...ok now u have scared me!
I am obsessed with my food intake.Does that mean that once i start a exersice/eating well program that I'll get obsessed with it too?I have obsessive compulsive disorder (its only associated with food right now).Hmmm..no...I don't think I'd get obsessed to loose quickly and exercise too much.I'm a pretty lazy person from the start.(notice:My pounds are still the same)...Thanks Susan for warning me that people do get obsessed with their weight loss.If I notice that I think about diets all day,I'll watch for the signs...
Yes gals. In real life I'm an arm toucher. If you came to me in person, concerned that you may be developing obsessive tendencies toward food and exercise, our conversation would have been much different.
Again, I'm gonna say ... if you really do think you're getting in over your head ... talk to someone.
OK - I've just read about a quarter of this post and it's home time!
I WILL post tomorrow - I have thoughts about Obsession and "dieting" (loosely defined). Especially corresponding to my new way of health. I will go away, think about this and explain more later!
Great thread starter Susan - we love you and don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings
I re read everything three times so I could understand everything that was being presented.The blathering does not bother me-
Quote:
"I feel like I'm blathering on so I'm going to summarize but restating that in order for a behavior to be detrimental, it has to be doing harm."
I totally agree. Obsession takes over your life. I have a family member who has obsessive tendencies. It makes her late. She gets stressed out over going anywhere and then she takes everything with her. She is extremely stubborn and then pouts if she does not get her way. She counts the pieces of spaghetti before she puts them in the pot. Cooking and shopping is a real chore. Each and every piece of clothing in her closet is labeled with a tag of where she bought it, how much and what piece of jewelry to wear with it. You must simply turn down the TV during commercials or it will upset her. She has to have the car radio on or the CD player on at all times and the vents adjusted "just so," even if it is not her car. Please don't let her drive on I-95. Some of it you take with humor, but it gets old-she is 60 plus years old. It's not old age as she was that way when her kids were young. It has become worse as my FIL indulges his "new" wife.
It hurts her as she gets isolated in her perfectionism. It strains relationships. There are some things she simply "cannot do," no matter how important it is to the other people.
I think perhaps that I don't obsess-it's an addiction. I traded my addiction of reading about food, cooking food, talking about food and eating what ever I could stuff done the chute. Instead I spend time looking at protein percentages, trying to find a tilapia recipe that rocks more than the last one and seeing how many miles I can "walk" in month with Leslie Sansone. I contemplate measuring cheese with a tape measure and chicken breast cooked vs raw on Fitday. I traded the feeling I get after eating Mexican Food and a Margarita for the feeling after I exercise (woohhooo )! I no longer depend on my cooking for compliments. I know I am looking better.
Whether an addiction or an obsession, if it is taken to the extreme can be detrimental.
The key is to find a balance in what you are doing and continually learning. Being focused does not need to mean that you are rigid and tight on the reins.
You sometimes you have to let that pony run.
You can try zig zaging your calories, change to core, try pilates or tae bo, don't let yourself stagnate on a flightplan with no destination.
Being able to participate in support groups here allows me to hear different viewpoints and learn new things and as a really smart person put it:
Quote:
.... never underestimate the power of putting your thoughts to print. If you are obsessing, someone can help. Lots of us want to help. Clarity often comes from thinking things through with a friend.
As I have OCD myself (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) I see a big difference in:
~Being Vigilant
~Being a Perfectionist
and
~Being Obsessive
To me, being vigilant is where you strive to do your personal best. You give it your all-and really put a lot of effort into your workouts, or into your studies, or whatever it is that you are doing. Being vigilant to me, also means that you are on top of things-you are not procrastinating, etc. and you get out there and do what you need to do. Vigilant is a good thing.
I am a perfectionist as well as an OCD sufferer, and think that there is a fine line between the two...but a line nonetheless.
In my work, I strive to do my best...but being a perfectionist, I beat myself up if I believe that I could have done better. If I miss a step in a performance-I agonize over it for days, even though nobody noticed but me. If I am sewing a costume, and something isn't lined up just right-I will seam rip it apart, and start that section all over-or I will forever see nothing but that imperfection.
However, obsessive to me, means disabling and disruptive to your life. When I found out that I had OCD, and researched it-EVERYONE has obsessive tendencies about SOMETHING-but it doesn't mean you have the disorder. Everyone has their little "things" whether it be you have to have your shoes lined up in a certain way...or you have to have the money in your wallet all facing the same direction. Obsessive is when these obsessions are so much that they disrupt your life, and your routine.
So, for me-obsessive isn't taking the 3 minutes at each meal or workout to journal my food and exercise-that takes maybe 15 minutes a day-tops. Obsessive is when I check my purse before I leave the house to head to the store to make sure I have my money, debit card, and checkbook-and then check it again when I arrive at the parking lot, before I enter the store, in the store at some point, and yet again before I head to the checkout-out of fear that I'll get up there and not have the means to pay for my purchases. THAT is obsessive.
I think that many of us here are very vigilant and sometimes crossing the line into perfectionism with our diets and exercise...but it is a different feeling really than "obsessed".
I am vigilant about my workouts. I am a perfectionist with my work, my home, and so forth...but my obsessions are things that I didn't "choose" to be obsessed about. They chose me.
.
). But, for me it is a serious psych problem and is disabling. Totally. And I am getting professional help for it because it is so all consuming for me. 
hmmmm
