Words of wisdom ....


.....from mayoclinic.com
your quality of life can decrease dramatically as the condition dictates most of your days


.....from a statenews.com article by Elizabeth Swanson, refers to obsessive tendencies as 'disabling'


....from mentalhealth.com
nearly always associated with considerable personal and social disruption

emphasis is mine

There have been a few threads lately (actually there always has been, mine too) from posters who feel they are obsessing over their weight loss attempts.
I'm trying to phrase this very carefully because they seem to have a couple of factors involved that exclude psychologically detrimental behaviours. That's not to say that those posters don't have a detrimental mindset. Heaven knows that a post doesn't always turn out like the poster was thinking.

First, I want those folks to really consider if these new activities are having a bad effect on their lives.
I don't begrudge an hour walk which is probably taking me away from the TV or the snack counter at the variety store.
Because I fed a family, I always planned meals. Now I plan a little differently.
Perhaps journalling or fitdaying takes time at first ... but it gets easier. Few experienced dieters spend more than 5 or 10 minutes logging their food each day.
I have a young friend who begrudges being unable to eat pizza and milkshakes with her friends. Another fellow told me that the only way he could walk one evening a week was for him to give up a visit to the Legion (beer included). This is not necessarily a harmful repercussion of dieting. Do you get my drift?
If your husband stomps off to bed each night at 10 and you sit pouring over 3FC, bleary eyed until 3 am ... that could be a problem.

Secondly, is your frustration caused by what you do? what you don't do? or the consequences of either one?
In early 2003, I weighed myself several times a day on several different scales, I logged everything I ate at fitday.com (and struggled with it's foibles), walked a couple of times a month for 5 or 10 minutes, spent money on books, read waaaay too many websites and continued to eat what I wanted. I was sooo frustrated! I gained weight!
What I did do was obsessive. It took time from my family and enjoyment of life and negatively effected my self-esteem.
What I didn't do was a constant source of self-flagellation.
And of course the weight gain was depressing.

Thirdly, I'm going to have trouble with this one because I usually tell folks to look at the smaller picture but ... think outside the 'little-me-only-right-here-right-now' box. While vanity plays a huge part in why some of us want to lose weight, there are many advantages for those who love us, see us, know us ... My husband is proud of the slimmer me. I can help friends get healthier. A pretty casual acquaintance has lost 40 lbs because she heard me talking to a friend. My grandchildren will know me. I can honestly advise my patients.
I can almost always find a way to justify any discomfort I'm encountering by thinking beyond myself.

Four, never underestimate the power of putting your thoughts to print. If you are obsessing, someone can help. Lots of us want to help. Clarity often comes from thinking things through with a friend.

I feel like I'm blathering on so I'm going to summarise but restating that in order for a behaviour to be detrimental, it has to be doing harm. Reassess, think it over. There's a difference between harm, discomfort, pain, unease, work, trouble .....


Don't be too hard on me. All I have to base this on is my own tendencies and what I've read and encountered in my nursing career (not psych).

SusanB!

I came to this thread after reading your post on the "Leaving" thread where you gave the link to Meg's story about what constitutes "obsession."

Really good thoughts both places! I think it's true that it's only an "obsession" if it's causing harm. Discomfort is not harm. If something is having a negative impact on one's life, then it is causing harm. An example is alcohol--someone who wants to drink all the time without regard for other things is obsessed. We might even say addicted. True addicts do the same thing.

I'm going to pay attention to my food program. It's healthy, it's working for me, I've gotten over feeling like it's "extra work" because I'm used to it, and I'm not going to let negative comments throw me off. It is not harming anyone, and it is helping me to get healthy.

Thanks for bringing up this topic!

Jay

Okay, Susan you're aiming this at me aren't you?

Uh nope Robin. It all started a couple of days ago when someone said something about how obsessive they were getting about calorie counting.

Actually I ran into thoughts of 'is this dedication healthy' a couple of years ago.

Although I find you and your posts very helpful and pleasant ... this time I wasn't thinking about you.

I 'fess up, I think I was one of the ones Susan had in mind. When I said I get "obsessive" re: counting calories, I didn't really mean it in the clinical sense of the word. I do not have OCD or anything. But do I stand in defense of my point... if I am doing any program that requires that much attention to numbers (eg. weight watchers, calorie counting), it does make me behave obsessively. If I go over my quota, I am much more prone to bingeing, which IS detrimental behaviour. Please don't confuse that with me not being dedicated to changing my eating habits - I am. But the biggest habit I want to change is bingeing.

I guess like our programs, there is no "one size fits all" solution. By the same token, what one person considers obsessive may not be for someone else. If it works for you to to plan out every morsel (not sure if that's what you do - just an example), then it's not obsessive. But, in the context of my life, I may find it disruptive, overly rigid, take away from family time, etc. In which case, while not clinically obsessive, it could certainly be considered dysfunctional.

Just because calorie counting isn't for me, doesn't mean that I'm not dedicated. It works for lots of people, which is great, but it's not for everyone.

Just to clarify ... I don't think I mentioned calorie counting as the one thing people obsess about.

Janie? I don't understand this ... Please don't confuse that with me not being dedicated to changing my eating habits - I am. .... did I?

In my opinion, it is very very difficult to eat healthy by accident in America. If I don't plan to eat healthy meals/snacks, it won't happen.

Susan, it's just that you had mentioned something in the other thread. Something like I reminded you of something and I thought maybe you might have meant this. No big deal. Cause' to tell you the truth I probably am obsessed a little bit. All right, maybe a lot. But in a real, real good way. I don't know if you would call it obsessed or devoted or extremely determined.

SusanB, you always make me think a lot - and my brain needs the stretching. Thanks.

I think you're absolutely right. We're all doing this to improve our lives, not to take over our lives! I think that's also why so many diets fail: we get ourselves into impossible exercise schedules and meal planning, spend too much time obsessing over 10 calories, and decide we're better off without it.

Absolutely! I'm not sure why Janie's feelings were hurt. I'm sorry that they were because she is an excellent example of what I think I was trying to get at. She did reassess. She did think hard and talk it over with friends and came to a workable solution.

I too thank you for this thread. Lots of wonderful points by all, especially Glory pointing out that it is hard to eat right without planning.

One point I see consistently in weight loss success stories is that something just clicked one day. The obsession (whatever the extent of the obsession: calorie counting or awareness, increasing exercise, dumping sodas) just clicked, even if there had not been long term success before.

Weight loss is such an interesting paradigm. On the one hand, it is simple. Control what goes into the ol' piehole and move one's rump. There is much room for interpretation and application of these simple points....and as many variations on this board as there are fat chicks (and roosters). On the other hand, lifestyle rehabilitation and changing habits are darn hard. I see downward tickers and think other people have it all together and then read other threads where people show their struggles. So there is a paradigm (or paradox!).

Does the degree of success depend on the degree of obsession?

Eeks! Maybe?? (lame answer, I know!) I suppose that depends on one's definiton of success. If one is on plan 100% of the time, they are more likely to have 100% success than those of us (ok, me!) who are on plan more like 80% of the time. Effort begats results.

What is one willing to do to get the results he or she wants? And do the effort and desired results change over time? Are there times of our lives we are gungho for certain results and other times more casual and ok with those results?

Weight loss is simple physics, which is universal, but the journey is very individual.

Great thread, SusanB!

I definitely realized that calorie counting was not for me and I posted recently about it. This is only because my binges are brought on mainly by the feeling of failure so when I have not had a good day calorie wise, that can possibly make me eat to excess since "i've already ruined my diet". Thats just me though. Everyone is different. I really take offense to little so although I read this post earlier and thought I might have contributed to this thought, I'm all for posting any opinions. Different thoughts help to keep us all in check. Thanks Susan.

I kind of feel that in the beginning I need to be obsessed a bit, as time goes by I can be as dedicated without being as obsessed. Yes, when I first started I barely went a second without thinking about food, weight, calories , what to eat, when to eat etc. Now not nearly so much.

Its like playing the piano, at first you have to concentrate on each finger, each note, later you can almost play it in your sleep.

There is finding what works and doesnt work for you. I dont plan. That doesnt work for me. Oh I have a general plan, but the details come along as the day wears on. Planning makes this a chore. Calorie counting used to be a chore but now for me is not.