Visited briefly w/ a GF's mom who is very very ill. Terminal.
Family spent so much time doing the family thing that most of the time the mom was ignored although in the same room. Really touched a nerve w/ me. What could be so important that you would need to interrupt what easily could be the mom's last words?
I am a little calmer today and wonder how I could've been so effected by someone else's mom.....
Sorry for the vent... It really did get me riled!
-----------------------------------------------
Here's some thoughts for Tuesday:
The female columnist is not identified, but the message is what is
>important
>
>************************************************* *********
>
>To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It
>is the most-requested column I've ever written.
>My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:
>
>
>
>1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
>
>2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
>
>3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
>
>4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
>
>5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
>
>6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
>
>7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
>
>8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
>
>9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
>
>10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
>
>11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
>
>12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
>
>13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey
>is all about.
>
>14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
>
>15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God
>never
>blinks.
>
>16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy
>dying.
>
>17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
>
>18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
>
>19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up
>to you and no one else.
>
>20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for
>an
>answer.
>
>21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't
>save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
>
>22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
>
>23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
>
>24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
>
>25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
>
>26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will
>this matter?"
>
>27. Always choose life.
>
>28. Forgive everyone everything.
>
>29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
>
>30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
>
>31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
>
>32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will.
>Stay in touch.
>
>33. Believe in miracles.
>
>34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or
>didn't do.
>
>35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
>
>36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
>
>37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
>
>38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
>
>39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
>
>40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd
>grab ours back.
>
>41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
>
>42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
>
>43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
>
>44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
>
>45. The best is yet to come.
>
>46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
>
>47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
>
>48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
>
>49. Yield.
>
>50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
>
*******************************************
hugs to all......lets try and remember to do something for ourselves today!
Good morning, all ye Best and Brightest of Queenies!
We got the music for The Messiah last night -- I'd forgotten how ravishing it is but ... WOW! I'm pretty excited about all this singing thing. Thinking about the voice lessons coming available, precisely for the three weeks before the first concert, and am reminded that when we make our hesitant, faltering first steps toward parts of our purpose, the Universe busies itself helping things fall into place I'm finding the breath control part difficult. I've got good lungs but one needs to manage the flow to get through, for example, "purify" in dozens of syllables. Shall work How wonderful to be part of that glorious sound (Why is it that every time i go to type the characters for that, I start out on cloud 8? Classic underachiever? )
Kaylets, thanks for all those wise words! So much resonance here -- I think I'll print those out too. As for the bedside family dynamics, people really lose sight of what's important when those familiar patterns arise. It's disturbing to watch, I know. We're in one of those periods here -- MIL and ex-MIL both on the way out, the mother of a close friend as well. An aunt died over the weekend (a mercy, that was, she was so ill). I guess that's just the way it is having gotten to 51. Am coming more and more to terms with mortality and whatever lies beyond...
Anagram, Ceara
Kat, lurkest thou? I'm a-comin' lookin' for ya if you don't get in here. You know I will!
Love to all within and without the Palace walls. Let's dedicate this day to our health and wholeness.
Yup, gonna paste that into an email and send it out! Thanks Kaylets!
Hiya Arabella. Sounds like you will do great....at least you are aware of some of the techniques!
Well, I have Toddlertime this am and need to get some in me to cope. Feel very brain dead today. Must be the grey weather. And I have quartet to coach after....at least this time I have my music in order. Bought a binder and plastic sheet covers for it. Now I just have to find the other folder full of it.
Time changes this week-end...fall back.
You know it is always hard to watch the dynamics around a dying person. I would suspect that the family is doing what they are doing because they don't wish to address the process of dying. Unfortunately, we all go through the process and it is never a pleasant one. You are affected because if it were your mom, it would be different. Just go with the flow. Death is hard.
Yes Ceara, exactly, if it were up to me, it would be very different. When we first arrived ( we were expected by the way), I went straight to the mom and gave her the little bouquet of flowers I had brought. I touched her hands and then told her how much I always like her hair style and then I smoothed her hair all around. When DH's mom was ill, we always asked her if she wanted to put on her lipstick when we knew company was coming. She always said yes. Whenever we were w/ her, we never let her hair go uncombed.
If anything, its made me more convinced that that my folks will feel valued as long as I have anything to do with it.
DH and I go to York PA tonight to see Man of La Mancha. Nephew is touring and we are going to see the rising star. Its wonderful to see a young person living out their dream. Wonder what would have happened if I had done the same.
Guess I just wasnt brave enough.....
or perhaps it just wasnt meant to be.....
And on that note....
**************
Thought of the day :
"Tend to your own fire...Hold onto your hearts desire....
don't let anybody fool you into giving up too soon..." James Taylor
Good early morning! Sounds so neat to see nephew in MOLM. Love that music. Saw Goulet do it once.
I guess some families are like that. My own is very involved when someone is hospitalized and I feel sometimes it takes on a bit too much party atmosphere. Not when it's down to the wire, of course. But I remember even in my Dad's last hospitalization, he seemed to enjoy watching the camaraderie and interaction. (Things were quiet the last day, of course - even with a whole crew there.)
I'm still trying to get comfortable on the wagon. I remind myself I've been in the groove before - I should be able to do it again. But it's sure been elusive.
QOD - Gas furnace. We also have a wood burning stove which we may be using this year...hubby just brought in 3 face cords of wood.
Have fun at the production Kaylets....I love theatre...and how decadent....going in the middle of the week!
Anagram...I'm with you there on the wagon bit. I don't know why when things are running smoothly I self-sabotage. That would have been Monday night. But I hopped right back on yesterday and I'm down a pound this am....go figure. I had a HUGE ice cream attack....Maple walnut...and I have been exercising like a friend (for me that is), and counting calories. Probably all that mental work...I'm not used to math.
OKEY DOKEY my dears....off to the salt mines. Where's wsw?
Had a bit of a disturbing evening -- I went with Mom, my brother and a couple of sister's to an Aunt's wake. These things always shake me up a bit and my mom was pretty shaky and a little confused, abnormal for her. And then I took my sister to visit her son in a mental health facility (I guess that's what they're called now, rather than mental hospitals). He's bipolar and addicted to crack and wasn't open to interacting other than asking his mom to go get him some fast food. It's so hard to know what to do. My other sister tried to hug him and he just walked away. I didn't do anything other than to try to include him in the conversation. At any rate, I'm so grateful that he's in there and hopefully will get some help. He's got such a hard row to hoe!
My aunt's funeral is today, same time as my voice lesson and I'd been saying I couldn't go for that reason. I reconsidered this morning, though and will cancel my lesson. The family and my mom need my support. I've been doing a little focus/prayer for the day ahead before I start my yoga and today I asked that I be open to wise guidance. Within a few minutes of starting yoga I knew I had to cancel the lesson and go to the funeral. Should have been a no-brainer, I think.
I'm doing very well, myself. I'm loving the singing -- it's added a whole new, wonderful element to my life. I must practice, practice, practice!
Ceara, congrats on the pound down! Hmmm... mathaerobics? Don't sprain anything!
Kaylets, it's wonderful that you're able to be so natural and loving in this situation -- it's a real gift to be able to give comfort.
Re: your changes to goals -- I did think, when I saw your pictures at goal before that you could use a pound or two.
Anagram, your family sounds like mine. Pretty interactive! And we don't see each other as often as we'd like so there is often a little bit of a party atmosphere wherever and when ever it happens.
As for that groove -- well, now you've made it you'll be able to fall back into it whenever you're ready.
K, I must shower up and hit the decks. Heigh-ho, heigh ho!
Got in a nice walk in the park yesterday and reined in the food fairly well too. Hoping for more of the same today. Gorgeous walking midst all the oranges and reds.
Also got many strange little things done yesterday including more shredding, sorting, trip to Volunteers of America w/stuff. Copied a fave pic of DH to put in frame DIL gave me for Mothers Day, i think. Never had many pics of him around (except w/grandkids) and wanted to add more as a young guy (with hair). DD says she can't think of us as under 30.
Haircut day today - actually had my hair "done" twice since last haircut - not the real me, for sure. I have no more massages scheduled at the moment so I thought I'd see how hairdos work. Same limitations for me as before - some things never change.
Off I head = good wishes to all Queens for much success today!
And in the right direction, thanks be! I knew the scale would eventually have to give up as long as I hung tough. Onward and downward! Went for a run in the woods and did my non-negotiable yoga practice, which I've managed to do 6/7 days for the last couple of weeks. Always feel soooo much better afterwards. And I'm sure it's helping nudge the number down a bit too.
Came home from the funeral yesterday to a phone message saying that MIL had fallen again and could no longer be on her own. A daughter in TO is looking after her now and DH and another sister will likely drive up next week. We'll see how things go -- I might go up to look after her at some point.
Anagram, DD had a failure of imagination -- why, I can imagine you and your Royal Consort when young quite vividly! Speaking of limitations, one can only get so many haircuts before one runs out of hair. Maybe a massage would be good? (I know I'd like one!)
Ceara, walking and showering be both goode, I concur. I often have my best ideas in the shower, as a matter of fact. I was taking a quiz recently that asked whether I thought better sitting or lying down. I'd have to say that I think a lot better in motion -- walking, house cleaning, showering. Anything a little repetitive, I think. Too bad I sit at the computer. Maybe I should get one of those stands and a treadmill... Think how skinny I'd get!
K, Lovelies, I must be off! Be good to your own sweet selves.
Just a pop in to say hi, and HONEY ITS FRIDAY.....
Sorry so short....
**********************
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, >"Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A few days later:
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
Congrats, Arabella! An inspiration to me in my perennial plateau. Hope things go better w/MIL. One of the nicest people I met with DHs illness was a DIL who was caring for her MIL. As a teacher, she was able to be with her most of the summer and was so caring. We kept in touch as things changed. And she's had concerns with her mom's health now too. Not easy.
Walked in the cemetery yesterday. Nice, slightly blustery but invigorating. Tai chi this morning. Problem with new tape - taking it back to teacher today.
Food still reined in yesterday. Striving toward healthy. Made a minestrone yesterday that satisfied my veggie craving very nicely. Lots for freezer too.
Had planned to drive to see sister today but debating. To be showery and that won't show me all those gorgeous trees. Hmmmm.
And so we come to the end of another work week. I sent out our Halloween quiz newsletter early and have been mostly mucking out my house this aft. so far. Have worked v. hard this week and I do deserve it! Plus will be nice to start the weekend with a clean(er) house.
Diet and exercise both going very, very well. I've been eating only when hungry, only healthy stuff (much easier now DH is committed, as well), only at table when alone. And, as always happens, after a while it gets -- dare I say it? -- easy! As long as I stay away from wheat and sugar almost entirely I don't have a struggle. And what a blessing that is! I know enough work-arounds that I can have treats if I really want them. I'm enjoying my food immensely. Looking forward to that Monday WI.
I PM'd Katrinabgood to see if she was okay and she's totally swamped: says work is horrendous, school is taxing, etc. She's not sleeping well, either. She did say that she'd be back to the Palace as soon as she could manage...
I hear Calgon calling my name! What a long day and I am beat! Just wanted to pop in for a moment...have to work tomorrow all day, so will be back sometime later.
Good morning, all ye Best and Brightest of Queenies!
I'm finding the breath control part difficult. I've got good lungs but one needs to manage the flow to get through, for example, "purify" in dozens of syllables. Shall work 
How wonderful to be part of that glorious sound 
(Why is it that every time i go to type the characters for that, I start out on cloud 8? Classic underachiever? 
) 
in me to cope. Feel very brain dead today. Must be the grey weather. And I have quartet to coach after....at least this time I have my music in order. Bought a binder and plastic sheet covers for it. Now I just have to find the other folder full of it. 
Gotta go!
G'morning, Queenies!
ies! 