Gettin' together -- March 2006
 

Morning ladies. Yep, it's a new month. March, with that whole lion and lamb thing going on.

Today is gym day. I'm sitting here in my sweats ready to go (after work).

Claire, you could use a spicy mustard to rev up the turkey, like Grey Poupon, or French's makes a spicy mustard. I love it. What about tuna with low fat mayo? I use 5-lb weights a couple of times a week. (I'm an American Idol addict, heh heh.)

Take it easy.

Wow, March already! :dizzy:

Arzu--I believe Anastasia was a Twentieth Century Fox movie. A lot of people confuse it, though (just like a lot of people think Ice Age is a Disney movie--nope!).

Marge--thanks for starting the new thread! You're so good about the gym...my gym membership ran out, and I didn't renew, so I am gymless :p

Well, I'm trying my best to flush some of this water weight out of me. My scale says I'm up 5 pounds, but I know that can't be REAL weight, ya know? I cut way back on calories yesterday (less than 700), but my scale still said the same thing today as yesterday morning :( Time to drink more water!!

Hello ladies...I am back!

Vegas was a BLAST! We're definitely going back, maybe next year! There's so much that we didn't get to do that we wanted to do!

We toured many of the hotel/casinos. HOLY COW! Some of the buildings were absolutely outstanding like The Bilagio and the Venetian. I also liked some of the "classic" ones like the Mirage and the Stardust.

We also went to Hoover Dam one day and Mt. Charleston the next. We did lots of walking everywhere!

Gambling report: I spent $60 playing video poker and roulette and ended up tripling my money! Then I blew about half of that on souveniers and a little more gambling, so I ended up staying the same money wise...oh well!

And man...talk about FOOD! Our hotel had food round the clock. We managed to eat a big breakfast, no lunch and a fairly decent dinner. I hadn't weighed myself in over a week, so I was worried. Turns out I weigh the same as the last time I weighed in. Shocking!

I wrote some more about sleeping in the apartment for the first time on my blog. (Thanks, Kimberley, for your comment today.) I was telling a friend who is a nurse about my symptoms, and she thinks I could benefit from seeing my doctor regarding Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Never really thought about it...I guess I thought it was just for soldiers in combat or police or firefighters.

Diet wise, I am not back on track. I'm either eating way too much or way too little. Right now, it is the latter. I am NOT hungry at all. I'm too uptight to eat, really....

Whew, looks like I wrote a book! So sorry gals! I'm headed to the FEbruary thread to see what you all have been up to for the past week!

Write books, Marge. Books are good. I always loved getting big, juicy letters from friends. And I adore a thick novel. :D

The dental appointment was a piece of cake because it was just a thorough cleaning and the rest of the exam begun last week. The dentist has a little camera he used to get close-up digital shots of my teeth, and he was able to show me the problems so I could see them for myself. He's hopeful that removing the old fillings, cleaning everything up and sealing it over with temporary crowns will give my nerves a chance to regenerate and heal. He'd rather go that route than just do root canals on them both.

Okay, all well and good...But terrible sticker shock here. It's going to be $2160! :faint: I had NO idea how expensive dental work is now. This isn't something I can just let go, because this last week has been awful except for when I've taken Vicodin, and I sure can't keep doing that. The secretary pointed me toward a third-party medical credit company that offers 18-month no-interest financing, so that's how we'll have to do it.

So, tomorrow I get two crowns. I'm not going to shop around for prices since I'm not likely to save more than a hundred or two and I know this is a good dentist.

You know what's nuts? Our insurance is the preferred dental option, the highest of the dental plans offered by Howie's company. They will cover 80% of a root canal, but only 50% of a crown. Pthbt.

I'm looking forward to not having this pain, at any rate! :)

Kimberley - we must be on the same wave length.. the bad kind.. I went to the dentist today. He hurt me.. my teeth ACHE like you wouldn't believe!! And this was just a cleaning! I can't imagine what a crown would be like!

Jen - WB! Sounds like you had a good time :)

Okay, I had planned to reply to you all... but my teeth ache THAT much. I'm going to go take some ibuprofen and try to sleep! Goodnight!

-Aimee

Must be something in the water...Jeff gets a root canal tomorrow morning at 10. This tooth has been nothering him for MONTHS, so I am glad he's finally getting it fixed.

We're driving down to my sister's in Va Beach this weekend because Saturday is Jackie's 6th birthday :) I'll make sure we pack Jeff a pillow and some pain relievers for the 4-hour drive :^:

Well, my calorie restricting and water guzzling has paid off--my scale said 277 yesterday morning, and this morning, it says 272 :o What an insane difference in only a day, but I'll take it! That puts me at a half pound loss from last week :cool:

Hi gals!

The dental stuff MUST be in the air! I have to get a crown done--going to cost me $900! Dang!

Jill: WTG on the loss! That calorie cycling thing seems to work for you!

Marge: I loves me some Idol too!! Fell asleep toward the end though...oh well...as long as I can see Taylor sing, that's all I care about! :)

Further update: I tried to neutralize the soot smell by cleaning with a strong scented cleaner and using air freshener. It helped a bit.

I was able to get some sleep last night. I used some Vick's under my nose to help keep the smell down. I still feel tired today--I guess it will take a while to catch up on sleep.

My appetite has yet to return, but I can afford to miss a few calories. In the meanwhile, I'll sustain myself on Coke Classic and cheese crackers.

Today I am choosing to focus on the good things that came out of this tragedy: the feeling of love from all my friends (cyber and IRL), and becoming even closer to my beloved Alan. In our relatively short time together, our relationship has survived fire, hurricanes, exes, job changes and moves. He has been my solid rock throughout this. I am so thankful he is in my life.

Will catch up with you all later!

That's a lot to have weathered, Marge. :)

Well, I'm off to the Land of Nitrous Oxide and Novacaine.

It's quiet around here today. The dentist visit went really well - what competent people they are.

Howie and I are really struggling with getting back on plan. Doggone it, it's so hard. I'm up a pound this week. Aaaargh. :o We once again have comitted to eat well this next two days, knowing that will give us momentum. I know a big part of it is the fact we're kind of drifting together with no set schedule while he's off, both feeling depressed about several issues in our lives.

Gooodmorning! I have a little time left to my morning ;)

Kimberley - it IS pretty quiet eh? How's the teeth? And do they have you on some strong drugs.. you've been calling Jen by Marge's name. Heh, we gotta get you off those drugs my dear!

I've been struggling a little bit with my diet lately, I gotta get on track a little bit, because I want to be ready to go once I get to Seattle. On the note I better go find me some breakfast before I have to go to work!

-Aimee

Hi ladies!

Kimberley: Boy those drugs can do a number on you, can't they?? That's okay, I think I knew you meant me instead of Marge!

Sounds like we're all struggling a bit diet wise. It's really strange--I still don't have much of an appetite, especially when I go home at night. I've dropped about 5 lbs since Tuesday, which isnt bad...not the best way to lose, though. When I DO eat, it hasn't been good things--regular Coke, a whopper jr and onion rings. Not great choices...

Hope everyone out there is doing okay!

OH, jeez...yeah, sorry Marge & Jen. Actually I haven't been on anything stronger than ibuprofen since yesterday afternoon. What's my excuse?? ;)

Howie and I walked an hour at Dawes arboretum, just got home. I should feel really pumped, but I still feel blah. I know it's a cycle in depression and it'll get better. I could use some sunlight, chicas!

Sorry I haven't been on in a while.

Kim - I can't believe the dentist costs so much! :o Good thing I didn't have any cavities...

Marge - Thanks, but I hate Mayo! I may try the mustard. Does any know any low-cal cheeses? And you're an American Idol addict, woohoo! I have a lot of the songs the contestants sang - the ones I like :p. I have:

Ayla :D - I Want You To Need Me
Ayla :D - Reflection
Ace :D - Father Figure
Ace :D - If You're Not the One
Chris :D - Hemorrhage
Chris :D - Wanted Dead or Alive
Elliot :D - If You Really Love Me
Elliot :D - In The Mood for Love
Gedeon - Change is Gonna Come
Heather - Hero
Jose "Sway" - Reasons
Lisa - I'm Changing
Mandisa - Cry
Paris - Wind Beneath My Wings
Patrick - Come to My Window
Top 24 - Take it Easy
Taylor :D - Easy
Taylor :D - Levon
Bucky - Thunder Rolls

BTW, :D = my favs (notice that they are the only people whose songs I have for both weeks so far). ;)

I love America's Next Top Model and Lost, too!

Okay, to everyone, I would like more ideas for lunch (something to be added to turkey or something totally different but low-cal).

Okay, that's mainly it...my mum's birthday is on March 5th :).

Hey, Jen! Welcome back! The last time I was in Vegas was about 20 years ago, wow! I had a friend that grew up in Henderson. I remember going to Hoover Dam, and having fun at a couple of the casinos. I love Taylor Hicks. I think the guys are great this year. (and re the trauma, it can't hurt getting a little help, that's a lot to go through.)

Kimberley, that dental bill truly, truly sucks. Man, for me it's tough enough to stick to a plan when everything is going well. When my bil died, everything went out the window for a few months.

Claire, not all cheeses are created equal calorie wise, swiss has less fat (cheddar has more). Goat cheeses are low. If you like soups, and salads, always good lunch alternatives. Whole wheat pitas stuffed with whatever you like (veggies and chicken or turkey).

Yeah, it's wierd, Jill, the water weight for me can make a big difference from day to day.

Aimee, I used to call my dentist back in California Dr. Sadistic because he always used to say: you don't want more novacaine, do you?? meaning he didn't want to give me any more. Luckily, the last couple of years I started seeing his associate, who was sooo much better, heh heh. Hoo boy, Seattle is coming up fast! bet you're psyched!

Good news, my aunt invited me to stay with her in Washington. She has two daughters about my age too (both married). She's the most interesting woman. She rock climbs, takes painting classes at the Smithsonian. Should be really fun. Today after the gym, Rob and I went and had Mexican for lunch, then I went to the Brooklyn Museum. I walked home in the cold through the park, it was actually really beautiful, with a dusting of snow. My feet are killing me though -- a long walk after working out in the gym. I agree that spending more time in the sunshine lifts my mood.

Have a good night, ladies.

I'm glad the dentists I've gone to as an adult haven't been stingy with the novacaine! When Dr. Musser saw me wince or flinch the tiniest bit Wednesday, he'd stop and ask if the tooth was "speaking to me" and if I wanted more novacaine. Third time was a charm, and I was good to go with no sensation at all.

I've done well with calories today, just finishing up a big salad with fat-free red wine vinegar dressing. It was more than I *needed* to eat this late, but it's better than the cereal and blueberries I was eating in bed as a substitution for the ice cream. LOL I'm at about 1515 calories for the day and had a bunch of veggies for a lot of that.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

I won't be so self-focused on my posts tomorrow, I promise. ;)

Goodmorning. I've been having this funny thing, I go to sleep around 11:30-12 and sleep completely soundly until 10:45. That is a LOT of sleep! However, I did notice I had a cold coming along yesterday, and thats all gone. So I guess it was worth it. I normally wake up in the night though.. who knows.

Claire - depending on where you live, I get this cheese from Superstore (totally Canadian thing), it's a low fat marble cheese, which I find is easy on the stomach and way less calories :) Lunch ideas? Steamed veggies and grilled chicken breast? Fajitas? If you use chicken breast, low fat cheese, TONS of veggies and a whole wheat wrap, its fairly low in fat. I LOVE America's Next Top model! Have you seen Tyra's talk show? It can be lame, or sometimes it's good.

Kimberley - whats novacaine? When I got my wisdom teeth pulled they froze my mouth, or attempted to, the freezing didn't last and they had to keep stopping to refreeze, it took nearly 3 hours to pull 4 uncomplicated teeth. Afterwards I was given 3 types of pills to take, 2 pain killers and 1 antibiotic, I had a pretty rough reaction and was told to stop taking everything, and to take extra strength tylenol and thats ALL. Phew, that was painful,heh. There is nothing wrong with posting all about yourself silly.. I'm sure we've all done it?

Marge - 13 days to go! I am pretty excited, a lot of my friends are jealous, which bothers me. The one girl who is being the worst won't stop.. but her parents have bought her a house, a car, pay for all her gas, and have paid for 99% of her schooling (and she's been in school for YEARS, 7+). So I get 5 weeks off paid, I'd trade with her! *rolls eyes* poor girl. Are you going to stay with your Aunt or still do the B&B thing?

Well today I'm supposed to hang out with a friend... however when I spoke with her yesterday she'd completely forgotten about the plans. And she hasn't called today yet, so my back upplan is to walk to the mall and meet Josh after work, and watch a movie tonight. Perhaps I'll do an exercise video today as well. I've noticed my knee has been bothering the longer this darn toe is sore, so I must be adjusting my walking. Anyways.. I am off! Have a good one!

-Aimee

Novacaine is the numbing drug injected into the mouth; it's a local anesthetic. My grandpa used to get fillings without any numbing. Not me, no siree! The dentist said he has quite a few older patients who don't want to be numbed. *Shudder*

I am swearing off women!!! My friend did indeed ditch me... and she JUST called me back to let me know she can't see me until after she's done with the friend she's with now. This is the same friend she spent the entire weekend with last weekend, which in itself isn't bad... but I don't think he (he's gay, not a bf) is going away for 5 weeks. So, how bad would I be to not answer MY phone until I feel not so bitter and pissed that she wouldn't let me know LAST NIGHT that she couldn't do anything until late. I just dislike people making plans with me, and then breaking them without telling me, and just leave me hanging. I have 2 days off until I leave, I could have maybe seen some of my other friends in this time... UGH! This is why I just don't have friends! I definitely know how to pick 'em..

Anyways! Thats my rant.. I guess I could work away at my todo list..

Kimberley - see, I told you... we all make completely self centered posts :)

-Aimee

Aww, Aimee, that sucks. What a *****. I hate people like that (I know someone like that). I try not to make plans with them too often. I have indeed seen the Tyra Show - sometimes it's boring, sometimes it's going.

I am bored today, so I have nothing to say.

Claire - I think I take the cake for being bored... I am actually moving furniture around and cleaning under it. Uh huh.. it's sad!

I've been exploring the whole world of ethnic music... I found one fairly catchy song... "temptation" by Arash. Also, a good one is Shakira & Alejandro Saenz -La Tortura. I have to load up my ipod before I head to Seattle.. it will be 5 weeks with no music added to it... so I am onthe quest for TONS of music. You guys know any good ones? I like pretty much everything.. from rap, to pop, country... yah I'm weird! And I am off to vacuum!

-Aimee

Aimee, maybe that chick should go closer to the bottom of your list. Not all of us women are so bad, heh heh. I'm staying with my aunt. Her one daughter lives with her husband in Georgetown, and the other lives nearby. They're both my age, which is cool. It's kind of a bummer Rob won't be there. He met them all at my aunt's son's wedding a few years ago and got along really well.

Hey, have you ever heard of Putumayo? Rob used to work for them.

Have a good one.

I couldn't abide a friend who did stuff like that, either.

I'd flat out tell her that you enjoy her company a lot, but her behavior makes you feel sad, like you're unimportant in her life. She might respond better to it with you concentrating more on how you feel when she blows off plans. Keep your tone matter-of-fact, not flip, but not pitiful. Know what I mean?

I did something even more horrible than anyone can imagine! She called at like 5:30, and I called her back (missed the call by accident), she said she was coming over, and I said no. I needed to shower but I'd call her when I was done.. I called her at 6:20. She came over, we sat around for a bit, and then she asked Josh and I what was for dinner... so we cooked for her, chickn fajitas. And here's the bad thing I did... she asked if I would miss her while I was gone, and I said... I'll probably be too busy to miss you. Wow, I am kinda mean. She was hurt I imagine, and refuses to talk to me today. I was pissed though.. and just wasn't ready to talk about it yesterday.

Thats my story...

I have to run ... gotta get there before it closes! BBL!

-Aimee

Oooooh, ouch. It's better to talk and tell her why you were upset, and why you said what you did, and do it before you leave. No sense to let it eat at either of you or to escalate.

I second Kimberley's statement. If this friendship is one you want to salvage, you definitely want to do this. Even if you don't, it is the human thing to do to apologize.

I spent all day with Alan at his parent's house helping Alan and his dad erect a steel building. I was up and down a ladder quite a bit, while Alan was riding in the bucket of his dad's loader. (They live out in the country.) I took some pics with Alan's camera--will post when I get them from him.

Hey, Aimee, that's not as horrible as I can imagine. Considering the level of this chica, I'd say to tell her you were anxious about going away so long and didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I think she might not be ready to handle it where you two talk about real feelings. That's just my take and opinion on it. Not knowing her personally. Why keep making yourself emotionally vurnable to someone who isn't earning that privilege.

I don't know that I will have time to miss her, seeing as I'll likely talk to her every single day that I'm gone. I hate to think whats going to happen when she wants to come visit and I say no... perhaps it's selfish, but this is a vacation AWAY for me. I have crap to sort out, and need to stay on track, both physically and mentally.. her being there will just shove that all out the window. Should I apologize? Probably... but why do I ALWAYS have to be the better damn person? One time I finally spilled my guts to her how I was feeling, I was having a hard day, weight-wise. When I was done pouring my heart out, she replied, "what am I supposed to say to that". I keep supporting her (sometimes even financially when she makes more than me and has 1 bill), and I get no kind of support back. And WHO asks to borrow a discontinued, personalized 400 dollar ipod mini and gets upset when I say no??? Wow.. I could go on and on.. this is a friendship that might be meant to die soon. But if I were her, I wouldn't let it.. she gets a lot out of me.

I am going to revisit the dentist tomorrow, when they cleaned my teeth they hurt one of them.. I thought it might settle, but it's just not feeling right. It's between two teeth, where I had my first cavity (last year.. ) it hurts like crazy to eat. Oh silly dentists!

Well I am off to shower...

-Aimee

If the friendship is not fulfulling to you, if you feel sucked dry, yes you need to end it. But she should be told why. It isn't easy being the better person, but it's worth it.

I think it's one of those good news, bad news things. The good news is, you are in control and get to take care of yourself. The bad news is you are in control and have to take care of yourself.

For your sake you need to get into the mode where you put the breaks on her, firmly but nicely, so she's not taking advantage of you. I don't think you need to dump her, but maybe create a little emotional distance so your not so vulnerable to her manipulations. Do it a few times and she will instinctually pick up on that you are not putting up with it anymore.

This probably won't be the last time you come across a person like this, so these are skills worth working on, in my opinion. In time, you'll recognize a person like this much faster and will not be inclined to become so invested.

Take it easy.

I think everyone is in our life for a reason... her reason to help with that line crossing thing. I have issues with people doing that, and have a hard time saying things about it. I sure do hope that I can not meet people like this though!!

I have tomorrow off, yay!! :) I am going tomostly hang out, I went to the dentist today. Something fell off my sore tooth, so I went for an emergency dentist visit. It was part of my filling! The hygenist chipped off my darn filling! The dentist said it would be fine though, I don't need to get it refilled or anything.

I totally hogged the thread with my friend issues... on that note.. 10 days until I leave!

-Aimee

Ammi--despite the negative aspects of your relationship with your friend, I know it can be hard to call it quits. I, too, am often walked all over and taken advantage of; it's just my nature to be as helpful as possible and not necessarily expect anything in return, which often leaves me looking like a doormat. I still sometimes contact friends from high school who I haven't seen in years just because I have such a hard time letting go of people for good. From an outsider's perspective, I would say she's not much of a friend if all she does is take and take and not understand your point of view, but at the same time, I understand your desire to keep her as a friend. I hope everything works out for you guys in whatever way is best for you :hug:

So, I spent the weekend in Va Beach for Jackie's 6th birthday...let's see if I can attach some photos...

*WARNING: giant, self-centered post ahead* I've been playing psychologist with myself a bit this morning. Last night, after dinner, Jeff sat at his computer and started playing his game. He had been away from home all weekend, so he hadn't had a chance to play at all, so I understand him wanting to play. But something just struck me last night (hormones, typical female psychosis, who knows), and I got really upset. I went in the bedroom and collapsed on the bed crying for a little bit, and it came back round to me being upset with him about the whole "other girl" thing from back in October/November. Yes, I still think about it. So anyway, I started obsessing over it (Jeff was at his computer the whole time, so he didn't know I was crying at all), and I decided to take a shower to calm myself down. Standing in the shower, I thought about talking to Jeff about it, but I knew he would get upset and possibly even just leave me (not that I can't live without him, but there's no point in pushing him out if things are going well), but I figured I just HAD to talk to him about it, so I even went so far as to plan things out in case we broke up. I had 2 nearby co-worker's cell phone numbers in case I couldn't spend the night in the apartment, thought about whether I could afford to live in our apartment alone, thought about moving back to Va Beach, thought about changing jobs...I spent about an hour in the shower last night (I'm never usually in there for more than 15-20 minutes, and that's only when I have to shave :p ) just thinking and crying. Then I got mad at myself for crying and told myself that I should be strong and that if I wanted to talk to him, I should do so without tears so I wouldn't sound so needy and blah blah blah...

Then I went back into the bedroom and laid on the bed again until Jeff finally came in. There I was, ready to have this big controversial conversation/confrontation over something that had happened MONTHS ago, but the minute he walked in and hugged me on the bed it all disappeared. It's like, when he's not in the room, I have so many paranoid, angry, insane thoughts, but the second he's there with me, I only think about how much we love each other and how well we get along and all the good stuff. It's kinda weird. So we watched a movie together and then went to bed, and he never knew I had been so upset about anything.

So this morning, I was thinking about the events of last night. I decided that what I'm doing is focusing on this one bad thing (the October/November issue) and using it as a scapegoat for any negative emotions. I mean, what I think really happened is I just got irrationally upset about him playing his computer game, so to rationalize my feelings in my own mind, I related them back to "the issue." I think I've been using it as an excuse when I get worked up about trivial things, so what I really need to do is focus on NOT getting worked up about trivial things. And I think fear is the key issue that gets me worked up about trivial things...fear of the unknown (since this is my first real relationship), fear about the future (we will be celebrating our 2-year anniversary next week!), fear about typical relationship stuff.

Bah, I don't know. I should talk to him about how I'm feeling, maybe...about the fear and the slight paranoia and such. I will be honest that I'm not looking necessarily for answers from him, just understanding so that when I get into these moods (and I will absolutely work on limiting them), he won't think I am completely insane :dizzy:

----------

Okay, for the photos, from left to right:

1. Jackie lovin' my Jeff
2. Jackie being irresistably adorable
3. Jackie wondering what is so inappropriate about her choice of bow location...
4. me, Jackie, and Jeff getting ready to call it a night after a busy day!

Jill - I constantly make jokes with Josh about how long term this relationship has turned out to be... I find by making it lighter, it's easier to get out. You have to tell him something, keeping it hidden isn't always great for your mental health.

The friend situation may have worked itself out... she's blocked me on msn, which is our main form of communication. I don't know if I was ever that immature at 19-20. I have so much stuff to do that I don't have time for this juvenile stuff..

My student loan people called me this morning, told me I haven't paid for Feb, which I did.. it's showing in my bank statement that I have. How frustrating, when I talked to the woman and explaned to her what I had arranged with the last person I talked to, and she said they were wrong and I hadn't been paying enough for 6 months! This is all the same gosh darned (I censored myself... teehee) company... don't they KNOW what they are doing?? Grrrrr, I am tired of getting these calls... oh btw, I got one last week too from my other student loan. First they told me Id idn't even have a student loan, and then they said I was behind on payments. I keep paying on time, and they keep ****ing up... I woken up to this as well. Wow, I am looking forward to this vacation more and more...

I'm going to go find breakfast... and make phone calls.. bbl!

-Aimee

Jill, I've been around a little longer than you (heck, I could probably be your mama, but prefer the mature older sister role LOL). But I want to share what I've learned the hard way.

Communication with your partner is PARAMOUNT to a healthy relationship. In my prior marriage, we stopped communicating in a meaningful way. I began hiding what I was really feeling from him. He never shared his feelings with me. Slowly we drifted away until we got so far out we couldn't get back. This is not to say that either of us are horrible people--we just didn't do the work to hold on to one another.

With Alan, it is a different story. We spend lots of time talking about anything and everything. And no matter how I try, I cannot hide what I am really feeling from him. He KNOWS. And he is relentless in getting to the bottom of things if I pull the "nothing's wrong" thing on him.

My advice to you is: BE 100% honest with him about your insecurities. There is no harm in asking him for reassurance when you need it. If he is truly to be your partner for life, he will do whatever it takes to make you feel secure and loved. Never be afraid to ask for what you need, or even want.

Aimee, I didn't realize your friend was an energy vampire. Sounds like it definitely needs to end.

I didn't realize you were going to your brothers for such a long period of time. How did you manage to get the time off work?

Oops - we cross-posted!

It's true that relationships take work and talking is important. I can think of so many times in our early years as a married couple where I'd take things wrong and just fly off the handle about anything handy -- When what I was really upset about was something Howie had said. It's funny how the little stuff escalates into a big scene, when just stopping and addressing the little stuff would prevent the blowout.

We're still a blow-out-but-make-up-quickly couple, and for us that's worked. We don't tend to let stuff fester. People who'd overhear the blow-outs would probably think we're on the brink of a divorce, but that's the farthest thing from our minds. We sometimes do fight passionately, but we also love passionately.

I know with Howie and me, a lot depends on how I approach him as well as my timing. For instance, I know better than to bring something up if he's really concentrating on something or if he's upset. That ought to be a no-brainer, but for some time I didn't get the clue. LOL

Anyway, all this to say, I agree with Jen that it's really important you talk with Jeff. Get things out in the open, don't bury it and fret yourself sick.

He's a cutie, by the way! I love the picture of him and Jackie, as well as the one of the three of you.

Dentist went okay today - had to have an old filling removed and that tooth cleaned out and re-filled. Well, my mouth isn't so numb now and I'm heading to the coffee shop to scrapbook with my friend!

Jill - it's okay to cry.. I cry about almost everything. heh. Just shows you are emotionally involved, or thats how I try to make myself feel better. Relationships are so tricky.. they take a lot of work, but it's worth it when you have someone to make you tea after you've spent hours throwing up and they don't run away.. lol.

When Josh and I fight, there is a lot of screaming, lots of drama, one of us often storms out, but it all turns out fine. Don't be afraid to fight, Jeff loves you and isn't going anywhere.

On my friend situation... heh... I am so bad sometimes. She'd had me on ignore all morning, so I put "isn't the block function fun?" on my msn nickname. She came online with "never make someone a priority when they only make you an option" in her nickname. Anyways, I'm going to send her an email (she's blocked me again), and explain my part of things. There is just no sense in playing this game, even tho the petty side of me partly enjoys it. eek! Bad me!

Jen - I am taking a leave of absense from my company. They are willing to do this because they save my wages, so I get time off without pay, and they get to not pay me! It all works out! Also, after how sick I was at christmas, I used that as part of the explanation for why I'm taking time off. I will be in Seattle for 5 weeks, my brother will cover my bills while I'm gone. I am a very lucky gal :)

I shall be back..

-Aimee

I should say you are lucky, Miss Aimee! :) I saw on another thread that you are using this time to really concentrate on yourself. That is a very good thing! I bet you will come back so refreshed!!

Jen - the luckiest! Although I've gone thru some serious crap to get here, I really hope to get a grasp on myself while I'm away. My poor bf will want to dump me soon though.. a few years ago I had some... issues. It involved a lot of not eating, obsessively exercising, some cutting and at the time I had to go to my mom's (8 hour away from my bf by car) for a few months which turned into 5.5 months. I'm a lucky girl to have him as well! He's also lucky to have me!

I've decided I'm over what happened with me and my friend. It's still frustrating, but I can't let this get me down. I am taking FIVE weeks off to help get myself on track, career wise and body wise... I should be in heaven!!! So I am :) Except I cleaned with bleach and forgot I always get a headache from it.. so I'll be in heaven when this headache goes away :)

-Aimee

Wow, Aimee, you are lucky! I wish I could take 5 weeks off (actually, I wish I could take FOREVER off from this job :p )! I'm sure it will be insanely beneficial for you to have some strictly YOU time.

So, yeah, I didn't talk to Jeff last night. He came home, and we had to go to the store to get some kind of paint for his for work, then we came home and had dinner and watched American Idol and went to bed. It was a good night, but I was stressing inside. I just kept thinking, "Is now a good time? How about now? He's in a good mood--I should do it while he's in a good mood!"

I get home about an hour to an hour-and-a-half before Jeff in the evening. Due to the aforementioned stressing, I managed to consume some leftove pork lo mein, a bunch of French onion SunChips, and a bowl of Kashi GoLean Crunch with strawberries and skim milk. Then after we went shopping, I still came home and ate dinner with him, and THEN I made smoothies! All in all, it wasn't horrible junk food (aside from the lo mein), but it was still obviously too much (too many calories). Ugh, I need to suck it up and let it all out so I can MOVE ON, with or without him.

Jill - my brother is very nice boy for offering to pay for this time off, I am very excited!

I think there will never be a "good" time to talk about things, you just have to make it a good time. And going on with or without Jeff? He's not going to leave you because of some insecurities, he may not understand it, and so you'll have to really explain it to him. And you'll also have to explain what you expect from him... and really figure out what you expect from him. Are those real expectations? Yes you need to talk to him, but you need to have a game plan as to what you are going to talk about, and what you expect from him.

Okay, I must go shower.. I'll be back in a while!

-Aimee