Long post warning!
 

I just wanted everyone to know that this will be my last day to post for awhile. We are taking a holiday starting tommorrow ~ going to Colorado which includes 3-4 days of backpacking just south of Aspen --Lost Man Lake, if anyone's familiar!

My goals on exercise this week were kind of blown. Every night it seemed we had more to do for the trip! I had three (ugh, three! :mad: ) mini-snickers last night from like 10pm-2am while we were still checking out the gear and loading our packs. But, somehow, I was still under my calories--doubt under my fat grams, though :mad: . Someone brought 3 doz donuts in to work today, and there are only 18 of us here! I will not have one, I promise. I have told everyone here of my intentions, so I have a lot of accountability during the day. (now if i could just have the food police on staff from 10p-2a!)

I went ahead and checked out the scale and somehow I'm down another 3 pounds. :?: :D . I checked a calorie counter and looks like I'll be burning about 3-4,000 calories a day while backpacking! Good thing, because beef jerky is on the menu!

Story: I'm trying on my loaded backpack and there's a belt at the waist and another that runs under the armpits just above my breasts--if you can picture this, you know that the tension of these bands kind of pushes everything out and creates a lot of...rolls? :( So I'm standing there feeling like a big fat turtle while my husband is adjusting the straps and everything and then he stands back and takes a look at me and gets this kind of dirty leering look on his face and says "You look hot!" He's so.....(blush) I just love that he doesn't even seem to SEE what I see on my body...He doesn't remember that I was heavier, or that I was thinner, he says I just always look like me... :love:

Anyway, good luck to everyone on your goals next week. Seems like there's always something going on that can throw us off--camp, Reno, doctors, families, career...I hope everyone stays on track! I'll post again Aug 15! :D

Argh! Well to start off, I was in so much pain yesterday I just ordered pizza and wound up eating it of course-now I feel icky! I didn't dare get on the scale even though it wouldn't have counted-just don't want to know. I had to take my son in for his yearly physical and let's just say he is lucky I have allowed him to live. Nothing brightens your day like a dose of public humiliation. He was under the exam table, carrying on like someone was out to kill him so needless to say the Dr. wasn't willing to deal with him. My first impulse was to just go get as much chinese food as possible along with a pint of B&J but I didn't do it. Came home and ate OP. Pain is much less today but kind of afraid to do too much so it doesn't start up again. I am not really sure what I did to start the ball rolling unless my bones are adjusting to carrying less weight on them. There are times being a single parent bites or else I am just getting too old for this stuff-not sure. When I put the girls down, will go through the posts-I just needed to VENT!
Melissa

Melissa - sorry to hear you've had a rough couple of days. Forget about the pizza...it was only one meal and you got right back to business so it'll be fine. Glad that your pain isn't as much today. It is unfortunate how kids can cause so much pain and embarrassment when we break our backs to be good parents to them. I don't like going to the doctor, either, though. Someday maybe you'll be able to laugh about it. I'd love to hide under the table and make a scene the next time I go to the doctor....or even the dentist! Good for you resisting the urge for Chinese and ice cream! I am in awe of you for raising those kids on your own. I know how hard it is to raise 2 kids, and I have the luxury of a very helpful and supportive husband....so I know you've got your hands full being a single parent. I don't know how you do it but I'm amazed.

melra - Have a great vacation! I was in Colorado a month ago for and had so much fun. Sounds like you will get plenty of exercise backpacking in the mountains. Enjoyed your story! That had to make you feel good...sounds like he is a keeper!

I've been doing ok...last night we were in a rush and my husband brought home Pizza Hut but he got thin crust veggie and I only had a couple pieces and then had some fresh pineapple so I don't feel too bad about it. After that we were working with llamas for the rest of the evening so that should have worked it off anyway.

It was a beautiful morning here so we got up at 5:30 and jogged a mile and walked a mile, then after he went to work I jogged another half mile and walked a mile and a half...and then my daughter and I groomed an unruly llama for two hours (and THAT was a workout). But now he is looking good and all ready for his shows this weekend. My daughter gets really nervous before the fair. She did very well last year so hopefully things will go ok this year for her, too.

I think I'm going to go curl up with a book for an hour or so...I'm worn out after this morning. Hope everybody else is having a happy and healthy day!!

***BIG HUGS*** Melissa! You do so much better than I would have. Every time I have to take the kids to the doctor I end up eating out...it is so stressful when they are young! FOr me, the one not getting looked at always acts up and I have to try and keep them from breaking something or their own necks while listening to the doc talk about the other child...no fun! But you did the right thing...and the scale will pay you back, just wait and see!

I did throw my cookies out everyone...but I ate one before they went into the trash can! Hubby gave me a line about wasting money and I told him that buying them was the waste, not tossing them. I know him, he's thinking this won't las and I'll be buying more to throw away in a week or so...but he will see with time that I am SERIOUS THIS TIME!!!!! I am NOT buying anymore...I'm not! And just knowing he thinks I will, that will make me even stronger in my determination lol

NO MORE COOKIES NO MORE COOKIES NO MORE COOKIES

*breathe*

Yes it was soooo hard. I left my other two with my mother since I was taking my special needs child in. He is 9 now. I just still get so thrown off when he acts like this. It is easier for me to take Odessa who is 3 in October or Amanda who will be 2 next month than it is to take him. Good girl throwing those cookies away! You could tell hubby they are thrown away when we eat something we don't need so at least this way, better to feed the garbage can than ourselves. I used to go through that about throwing leftovers away instead of eating them. It is wasting food right? Nope it is a waste to eat more than our bodies require so if it is worth saving, in the fridge for another meal or else if I think it will just sit and grow hair prettier than mine in the fridge, down the garbage disposal it goes. Feeding fish is good. Well I am off to make some WW soup for my lunches over the next couple of days to counteract that crappy pizza that really wasn't as good as I remembered it being. I got a new book today so I will be also curling up with it while the girls sleep. Nothing like a book to let you forget anything that bugs ya. Will be back later on gals and thank you so much for being there for me.
Melissa

Melra- Have a wonderful trip. It sounds fantastic and what a workout.
Melissa-I took my 4 year old nephew to the emergency room last year when he put a coffee bean up his nose and he kept yelling at the poor doctor, "don't touch me, slime bucket". Luckily either the dr didn't care or cause his English was pretty bad, he didn't react. We had to wrap himi n a blanket and I had to lie on top of him so the dr could get the bean out of his nose. When it was over, everyone clapped, and my nephew announced that he wouldn't ever put a coffee bean up his nose again. I was happy that I was just an aunt.
My kids have managed to embarass me many times, but I think we are more affected than the people around.

Today is a long hungry day. A storm came thru and the power is out. The house is a mess and I look a wreak. I am very tired and battling not eating. It's 4:45 and I'm at 1100 calories. We are meeting friends for dinner, so I'll have to estimate 3-400 calories, maybe a big salad. I really am determined to not blow away the day.
Laura

he stands back and takes a look at me and gets this kind of dirty leering look on his face and says "You look hot!" He's so.....(blush)

That is true love! Embrace it and do so enjoy yourself while you are vacationing. You will be missed and we want to hear all about it when you get back. You will more than hit your goals while backpacking and then some probably.

Thank you for your encouragement KayElle! I did beat myself up for the rest of the night, especially since it didn't seem to taste good to me but I kept eating it anyway. I made a vegie taco tonite and it was so much more satifying! Life is looking better later in the day, now that the sting of humiliation is waning. You would think after all this time I would be used to the public barking, growling, and fit throwing but it hasn't gotten any easier. Since he isn't going to be changing I guess I need to change my attitude about it. Keep up all the good work everyone!
Melissa

:grouphug: melissa. you're doing great. i have trouble saying no to ben and jerry's even when everything is a-ok. although i did today! it helped that wal-mart doesn't carry the light version, which i prefer anyway. but no ice cream is better than light ice cream :) but i was sad watching dh eat the yummy yummy ice cream, while i said lamely, "i don't like pistachio anyway" :nose:

yay!!
 

i am so excited! every now and then i try on my old "skinny" clothes to see if any of it fits. i scored today! two pairs of pants are perfect, and two more and a skirt are almost ready! best of all, i got to toss a few "fat" things in the suitcase to replace them :dancer:

Way to go Cadwell! I think fitting into a smaller size is an even bigger thrill than watching the numbers go down on the scale!

melra ~ Have a wonderful time on your trip...sounds like it will be a great vacation!

Melissa ~ You're doing great! Life gets in the way sometimes and your only option is to order out, so don't worry about that pizza and just keep on going!

It's been a tough week here...lots of running back and forth between the hospital and home. I've tried my best to keep on my eating plan, but water and exercise were practically nonexistent. I'm really not looking forward to getting on the scale tomorrow morning. Hopefully next week will be better.

That is awesome cadwell! It is such a good feeling not only to fit into things we couldn't but to put aside those "fat" clothes and remove them forever!! Keep going!
Melissa

We ate out last night and I was fine! Usually I think that cause I'm in a restaurant, and not cooking myself and paying too much money for it anyway, I might as well eat whatever looks good and certainly all of it.
I had a ceasar salad with shrimp and blue cheese dressing on the side and a tiny piece of bread and 4 shoestring french fries. And it was all ok. I did what was right for me and it actually felt good.
I just invited friends over for dinner, and i will go get a big free range chicken and just picked tomatoes and make carrots and then a pineapple for dessert. These are good friends so I don't have to do appetizers and lots of other stuff. I'm not worried about
the evening either. It's a new me.
Laura

Ugh! My motivation seemed to be waning. Yesterday, I didn't exercise and made some very poor food choices. This is a pattern behavior with me. Once I start losing and people notice, for some reason, I tend to lose my focus.

This morning I tried to counteract yesterday's defeatist behavior. I had to bring my car to the shop for an oil change and inspection. The shop is about 2 miles from my house. I decided to take my DD and her stroller with me and walk home rather than have my husband pick me up. I didn't walk as fast I as do on the treadmill, but we did complete the 2 miles (and it was probably a little longer because we zig-zagged through strreets rather than take the main roads) in under 40 minutes. I also figured that pushing my almost 40 lb daughter had to be worth something.

When I came home, I made myself a yogurt smoothie that was absolutely delicious and refreshing.

Laura - that salad sounds yummy! We make chicken ceasar salads a lot here during the summer months. It is a real treat for me since my DH does the grilling.

WTG Cadwell on getting rid of some of the bigger clothes to make room for the thinner ones!

Melissa - I always heard that pizza was a fairly nutritious food. I am sure it doesn't rank up there will a bowl of veggies, but I think you could do a lot worse.

Melra - Have a wonderful trip!