Yes, the trip is for me. I don't need to go to Lancaster... I can stay with my mom there. In fact, I'm going home next weekend for Mother's Day. Going up Friday, coming back Saturday because of swimming lessons.
I absolutely do NOT want to go back in that building on Monday. Or at all, if I had a choice. I have to forgive these people, it goes against how I was brought up, and also my religion. That is one of the biggest parts of Yom Kippur; and although that doesn't happen until the fall, I still need to do it.
By the time they're finished with me, I probably will need therapy! I just want to go in there on Monday and tell our team leader where she can stick her "friendship" (because, really, as you guys said, with friends like her, who needs enemies?!), and to give me all the stuff I've loaned her back. I don't care if its petty. I just want to go in there and say, "I have to put up with you here, during school hours for business purposes. I do NOT have to put up with you for anything other than the duties directly required by my position. Don't ask me to do anything, just staay away from me and leave me alone." But I can't, because she'll find someway to twist that, and I'll wind up with some other meeting.
Oh, sigh. I was in the pool swimming tonight for the first time in nearly a month between the upper respiratory infection, sinus infection, antibiotics, CEC conference, etc. It felt good, but I'm tired now... I think I'll go to bed. I went grocery shopping after swimming, and treated myself to dinner at Applebees.
I wound up throwing out the ribs, and the mashed potatoes. I just couldn't eat it. I ate part of the steak and the vegetables and some of the soup. Its been like that all week since they started this nonsense.
Just running in for a quick hello! The noise you hear is me sneezing. I can't seem to stop! Spent yesterday working outside in the sun and wind and dust and pollen at my youngest's elementary school's carnival....running the cake walk... with....imagine this.... a bull horn! They quickly discovered that the bull horn was completely unnecessary .... They even told me that I had a "talent" for talking folks into spending their tickets on our booth! I lasted for about 3/4 of the carnival....and then the sun and the wind and the dust and the pollen caused me to scream "Uncle!"
We've just decided (as I'm typing!) that what my sneezing needs is a Sunday late afternoon visit to Busch Gardens! Not too sure that I won't be sneezing...but at least we will be on a roller coaster and I won't care about the sneezing so much! Will pack sandwiches for our dinner and will walk quite a bit.... does that count for exercise?! We will be leaving in about an hour.... so I better get myself together!
Ya'll take care! Talk to you later during the week!
1. My niece had emergency gallbladder surgery. She is developmentally disabled which made a difficult situation 10 times more complicated.
2. One of my students was returned to his drug addicted parents this week. The social worker, foster parent, and I fought to the death to keep him away from his bipolar disordered/drug addicted mother and drug dealer father, but the judge was a d*ckhead. The foster mom received a call from DCF telling her she had 15 minutes to pack him up. Minutes later, the child who's life she saved was taken from her. The mom strolled into my classroom with him as if nothing had ever happened. All day long, tears kept coming. I tried to control myself, but I couldn't help it.
3. Parent/Teacher Conferences were chaotic.
4. I had to spend a day with the teacher I am mentoring. She never shuts up long enough for me to tell her what she needs to know. She is one of those nervous talkers. For every one thing I explain, she has ten come backs. If she would just open her ears and shut her mouth, she would learn a lot from me. And, she's got to stop thanking me profusely. It's enough already.
5. I spent 9 hours writing my last paper for my class.
I know there is more, but I am too brain dead to remember. Take care, my friends. I will catch up with you as soon as I can. I can't wait for the summer so I can spend more time with all of you. Love ya!!!
Hey guys!
Just a quick note before bed. Been a busy weekend. Just wanted to report that I realized about an hour ago that I had not even had a pepsi today! What's up with that? And, I didn't even die or anything!
I have also lost one more pound this week. Yeah!!!!!
Mouse: Hope tomorrow goes well for you.
Ginnie: Just think, baseball season only lasts until mid October........Sorry.......I've truly done that for so many years. However, it was me having to be there too. I would pray for rain days if ya know what I mean.
Summer: Re: Your mentee
My husband always says, that's why god gave you two ears, so you can listen twice as much as you talk..........I'm sorry about your student, that is truly heartbreaking......
Everyone else HEY HAVE A GOOD MONDAY!
I'm outta here! Have a great day tomorrow!
Pam
I'll make sure to check in with you all this afternoon after I get done at that place. I can do this. I know I can. I hope.
Okay... I can do this if I don't eat? Yea. That's the ticket. Ooooo, boy! I can only imagine what the team leader/department chair, director and my supervisor will make of the fact that I might throw up at their feet if they don't leave me alone!
Pam: There is a new Pepsi. The PepsiOne has Splenda. Its pretty damn close to regular Pepsi. I've been imbibing for about 3 weeks now. :drink:
Hey ya'll!
Ok, tomorrow is the big day. Testing testing testing. Bluck!
I'm tired and cranky, and it's the "tom" 17 more days........Mouse, did you survive? I thought of you today...This will be especially short because I am just cranky and out of sorts and on the verge of killing my ds. So, if you read about a Nash County teacher being convicted of homicide, that would be me. HE WILL NEVER GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ginny: Poor thang. Hope you feel better. Sending you a hug and chicken soup.
I'll be back later.
Pam
Well la ti da ti da!! Now this stupid cold is having a field day with my stomach too. Think I caught whatever Pam has/had thru the net.....hope this passes soon.
SOrry not to get personal....gotta get going on the science fair stuff for Dd....(what a pain......but she has a good experiment). Hope everyone survived Monday ok. See ya later.
Ginny ( I am so tired and it is ONLY Monday!)
Hope that everyone has enjoyed their Monday as much as any Monday can be enjoyed!
Sorry to hear that you've caught Pam's "ick", Gin! Hope you two feel better!
Mouse, where the heck are you? What happened today???
Summer, (((hugs))) to you! Last week sounded perfectly horrible! I'm so sorry!
It is so difficult to live through weeks like those! Hope all is looking better for this week!
I ended up sitting up doing school related junk until 3...and then got up at 6.... I am
nearly dead on my feet....but I have 1 more thing that MUST be completed for school tomorrow before I can crawl into bed! We have just started completing the end of the year mandated testing..... today was a bugger! AND right in the middle of the testing...one of my kiddos walked up to the table where I was working 1:1 and said, "I don't feel too good. My stomach hurrrrrBLLLEEECHHH" Poor kiddo spewed a horrible mess everywhere and barely missed my pile of testing materials! *YUMMY* OMG! EWWWW!
Speaking of EWWWWW: My herpes outbreak has finally stopped growing....and now is in that lovely "honking huge, bright red, cracks, bleeds, and hurts like mad" stage! It fell short from reaching my nose....but does go well beyond the outside corner of my mouth! Today I nearly passed out from intense pain when I accidently took a bite of a sub with mustard on it and the mustard touched my horribly sore lip! Holey moley! During math the children suddenly became captivated while I was reading yet another "story problem"! I quickly discovered that my lip had cracked and was spewing blood! ...the kiddos were just staring at me with their little mouths hanging open! EWWW!
I hope that I didn't give them nightmares! What a great thing to remember about their first grade year, huh?!
Well, I think I've covered more than my quota of "GROSS" topics for one night!
Ya'll hang in there.... we are 4 days away from another weekend!
Sorry, guys. Yesterday was so horrible... I literally went down to get my mail, and the person at our front desk, who is a friend, asked me how it went and I burst into tears. I hate that place...
It didn't even take my supervisor four hours before he started on me. He sent an email at 8:06 telling me to do 3 things. Of those three, I'd done 2 before the day even started. The third thing involved my talking to the team leader about something she'd done to a student's IEP. I was supposed to talk to her before the meeting which was at 11:00. I have students straight through from 8:00 to 11:05. The meeting was at 11:00. I didn't even get his email. At 11:30, he sent me an email asking me why I hadn't done what he'd told me to do. I didn't get ANY of the email until after 2:00 because of the IEP meeting and then because of something he did.
It just went downhill from there. I didn't eat anything at all yesterday at work, and when I finally ate dinner last night, I threw up as soon as I was done. I can't eat now either.
And one of the few people I considered a friend (****, she called me last week when I was out to make sure I was okay... nobody else did!), repeated a statement I made about the team leader. So, its okay for her to go to the director and tell the director I'm mentally unstable and made a suicidal threat (yea, right), but I can't express my opinion about HER to a friend?
Obviously not. So I have to meet with them today to mediate. I'm not mediating with that woman or my supervisor or anybody else. I just want them to LEAVE ME ALONE until I can get another job.
Oh, and that camping trip that I thought I wasn't allowed to go on? It suits them to have me go now, so I have to change my interview with the one school district. They only had 2 dates: May 20th and May 27th, and of course I'd been told I couldn't have the 27th off.
I can't do this. I just can't do it.
I walked into a trap this morning. We had 1/3 of a low-fat lasagna left in our refrigerator as of yesterday morning. DH had some for lunch, but, I still thought there should be enough left for me to have a square for lunch today. Silly me . My DH inhales food (in between meals) intended to be future meals as if he were snacking on a cookie. So, when I saw the empty pan on the counter this morning, I commented, "Gee I was hoping to have some of that for lunch. If I snacked like you do, I'd be REALLY BIG." Yes, I know, I walked right into that one. His reply came back like machine gun fire all about how going to the gym occasionally doesn't cut it. He criticized me and my efforts cutting me to tiny pieces. F*CK HIM.
No, Robyn, this week isn't any better...all sorts of new drama with the drug addicted/bipolar/birth mother. But thanks for caring . PUKE ON YOUR PAPERS?! Good God. Sorry about the cold sore...OUCH!!! Get some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Ginny, feel better soon. You get some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz too.
Pam, good luck with testing.
Well, I'm out to face another day. God be with me...all of us.
I took today off. . .tomorrow too. I'm annoyed at my admin. The middle school VP favors this annoying sexist 1st year teacher. We're supposed to be teaming, but this guy has no clue what teaming is. . .and thinks it's him and the sexist guy coming up with "brilliant" ideas and forcing them down our throats.
The stupid admin has given me an opportunity to move up to high school (b/c of my test scores), and it seems everyone has an opinion. and every administrator has said: "your test scores were lower than X's, and you have the cream of the crop." I hate it--the admin makes it this competition. It's SO stupid. I took today and tomorrow off (my first hookies this year), and I am glad. Home is so non-toxic, and I feel refreshed and awake and clear-headed.
I went out on my first date (since my break up) last night. It was really fun. : More than that, though, getting asked out made me realize that things really are changing. I know vividly that feeling of being so insecure and attributing that insecurity to my weight.
But I realize now that I was the one with the biggest problem about my looks (well, me and my ex-husband, who cited that as the reason he wanted a divorce ). The change has been more in my head than my body, and it's a good change. I went into this weight loss initially to lose the last big baggage from my horrible marraige--the excess weight came on during it--but now I realize that my terrible self-confidence was also baggage, and it's freeing to know that that baggage is leaving too.
So, the guy I went out with is moving to the mainland tomorrow. I'm taking off work tomorrow to hang out with him. It'll be a good antidote to all the negativity I fend off at work. It's also cool, because I don't want to date anyone right now. . .I just want to enjoy all the fun things I do. Plus, I was able to snap the button of a pair of size 12's from old navy. . .I'm getting there. . .slowly but surely!
Summer--I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's comments. He should be supporting you for heaven's sake.
mouse--What a terrible situation. . .I can't believe how unreasonable people are being where you work. You have got to get out of there. I'm sorry that your superviser is being such a jerk and so unreasonable.
Ginny--i hope your feel better!!!
Pam--I hope you continue to avoid committing an apparently well-deserved homicide. . . .and that the cranky feeling goes away.
Robyn--have you been able to get some sleep? Hopefully the outbreak leaves, and all is well again!
All I can say is that I'm absolutely confused and flustered.
I have no idea what is going on. This might be the capping example: the HR department wants to meet with me tomorrow morning to discuss my "satisfaction of working at the high school." Today, they presented a proposal for a new classroom that is designed around my strengths. The director made it clear at the meeting that things like days off... I should take the day off if I need it off, and my supervisor should be prepared to find coverage and deal with the situation, because that is what he is paid for.
Is it possible she actually read my journal? I'm soooo confused. It doesn't make sense. She was also very concerned because when I went into that meeting Tuesday it was literally after keeping nothing down (even liquid) on Monday, and very little other than liquid on Tuesday. Tuesday night was better, but today was pretty standard... she noted how unfocused I was, and dizzy, and took me to task for working when I was so clearly sick.
On that note, I saw my gastroenterologist today. She is asking me to have another hidascan with the hormone injection done. That was pretty bad last year, but she wants it done because she wants to see if there is any change in the gall bladder function... because she just doesn't know what the issue is.
Okay.
Paisley: GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!! There are times I wish I was that sane, but we all know I'm not.
Summer: hhttbtbt: on your husband.
Holey heck. What a week. Teaching is like being pecked to death by a duck. It doesn't really hurt all THAT much until the end of the day..... I'm exhausted...and the duck pecks are reallllllly starting to get to me!
Okay, get a load of this one...remember earlier in the week when DH was a total schmuck criticizing my efforts to lose weight? Well, DD (who can't keep a secret to save her life) told me that DH bought me chocolate for Mother's Day. What the h*ll?! What does he want anyway? A fat wife or a thin wife? I have consistently been working at losing weight. Yes, I f*ck up here and there, but I have made important changes in my eating habits by cutting back on carbs, sugars, fats, and portions. No, I haven't exercised as much as I need to. It is just really hard to fit it in what with working two jobs, going to graduate school, and trying to raise a child. He may be tired of my excuses, but I'm tired of the mixed messages.
Now that my class is almost over and I am done working the after school program, I will have more time to work out. In addition to going to the gym, I am looking for a low-impact aerobic exercise video with popular dance music. Years ago, when I took jazzercise, I never wanted to stop because the the dance music was a great motivator. Over the years, the only exercise videos I have found are REALLY BORRRRRRRRRRING. I need to have fun. The aerobics classes at the gym are OUT. They are step classes, and my kneecaps will pop out and roll down the hall. As a result, I have gotten my aerobic exercise by riding the recumbent bike. I'm just tired of it. Enough already. So, if anybody knows of a great tape with dance music (not rap or hip hop), I would appreciate it!!!
In fact, I'm going home next weekend for Mother's Day. Going up Friday, coming back Saturday because of swimming lessons.
Not too sure that I won't be sneezing...but at least we will be on a roller coaster and I won't care about the sneezing so much! Will pack sandwiches for our dinner and will walk quite a bit.... does that count for exercise?! We will be leaving in about an hour.... so I better get myself together!
She never shuts up long enough for me to tell her what she needs to know. 
She is one of those nervous talkers. For every one thing I explain, she has ten come backs. 
If she would just open her ears and shut her mouth, she would learn a lot from me. And, she's got to stop thanking me profusely. It's enough already. 
( I am so tired and it is ONLY Monday!)
. My DH inhales food (in between meals) intended to be future meals as if he were snacking on a cookie. So, when I saw the empty pan on the counter this morning, I commented, "Gee I was hoping to have some of that for lunch. If I snacked like you do, I'd be REALLY BIG." Yes, I know, I walked right into that one. 
His reply came back like machine gun fire all about how going to the gym occasionally doesn't cut it. He criticized me and my efforts cutting me to tiny pieces. 
F*CK HIM. 
I hate it--the admin makes it this competition. It's SO stupid. I took today and tomorrow off (my first hookies this year), and I am glad. Home is so non-toxic, and I feel refreshed and awake and clear-headed. 
: More than that, though, getting asked out made me realize that things really are changing. I know vividly that feeling of being so insecure and attributing that insecurity to my weight. 
What the h*ll?! What does he want anyway? A fat wife or a thin wife? I have consistently been working at losing weight. Yes, I f*ck up here and there, but I have made important changes in my eating habits by cutting back on carbs, sugars, fats, and portions. No, I haven't exercised as much as I need to. It is just really hard to fit it in what with working two jobs, going to graduate school, and trying to raise a child. He may be tired of my excuses, but I'm tired of the mixed messages.