Just a quick post... I haven't been on the computer hardly at all for the last week or so. Too caught up in other things.
Red - *big hug* I have been in situations similar to yours, and I truly understand the conflict. It seems that change may be forced upon you, regardless of whether you want it or not. Sometimes that's the only thing that gets us out of our loops, our fear. Regardless of what happens, you know the chickies here are going to support you, and you know Valeska will, too. She admires you so much. Just hang in there, and know that whatever happens, happens, and you will survive it all. And we never know what's around that next corner, do we? It could be something even better than what we have now.
Red: Big hug from the group. I'm so sorry things at work aren't going well. I think Jolly and Raven both gave you some very sound advice about it. I know Happy is struggling with the same sort of situation. Fear of the unknown is scary and for me, not being able to control it is really what gives me anxiety. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Remember, we are here for you not only when good things are happening, but also for when things aren't going smoothly. That's when it really helps to be here for each other. It's easy to be a friend when things go the right way, it's harder to be there in times of stress. We'll be here, for whatever you need.
Jolly: Great explanation of Bat. I thought I might have needed him this week, as my eating urges kicked in, but when I did the math and added things up, I realized it's about two days before TOM and I can write this off to PMS. I did good, though, so far I haven't touched my Milky Way bar that I bought right after surgery. I think I'll save it for emergency purposes.
Might go get a pedicure today. My friends are leaving for vacation tonight and I have to take them to the airport. So, I am running her over to get her nails done and thought it would be a nice treat. I made $50 off of some scarves I made, so I thought I could treat myself.
I found out I am in charge of doing the Christmas party at my hubby's squadron, so I need to get that organized. I have already cut out 40 fabric gift bags, just need to sew them up. It's so much cheaper than buying gift bags. To buy them it would take around $50, but I was able to buy the cutes Christmas fabric for $4 and made more than I needed. I did the same thing for Halloween. Gotta love being able to do that.
Red, I am so sorry about the work problems. I know you would like to stay with them, but it all sounds horrible. I hope the right choice becomes apparent and that you end up happy, no matter what!
Jolly, thanks for the BAT explanation. I think I get it.
I needed Bat, I guess, last night to some degree, however I don't feel badly at the moment anyway! Let's see how I feel on Tuesday, my weigh in day!
We went out for Lebanese Food last night, it was so good and I had butter on my pita bread! BUT, I have flex points to use, and still have some left and figured it all out. So, I think I might be ok???
Chach, sounds like fun being in charge of the Christmas thing. So glad you are using your sewing skills and saving money! I love my sewing and it really does help our budget.
What will go in the gift bags? What kind of party will this be?
Linda in sunny NH
Heh jolly, Raven, Chachee, Derry, thanks so much for the encouragement and advice. I just woke up, barely even up yet, yet am already in front of the computer trying to do tons of work before I go into the office. I'm so beat with all the work I do and I haven't been able to find any time to take care of myself. Really, working all the time is probably the hardest part of my life (what little of it I have) right now. But I have to stay strong, otherwise everything (the work, the lack of support there, the burgeoning debt and weight, the muscles turning to flab) will just become so overwhelming and will drag me under. Like I said, have to keep the healthy elements strong so I can prevail!!
You all are great and I appreciate your support so much. Thanks again!
Last edited by redballoon; 09-12-2004 at 05:18 PM.
Red, wouldn't it be awesome if we lived in a time and place where the connection of self were more appreciated? I suppose there are tradeoffs, always. But please, do not beat yourself up when life takes your priorities and throws a monkey wrench into them. You are a lovely woman, inside and out. Do not sell yourself short. You know what you need to do, and sometimes that means not doing what you WANT to do for a while. Find the peace, chickie. You know we are all here for you.
Raven, thanks for your sweet message. I read it on my phone first and then came in here to reply. No time for long messages, gotta be up at 3:45 a.m. tomorrow. The work waiting for me (yes, more rewriting!) when I got home (from work) is just gonna have to wait till tomorrow. I'm getting such shuteye! Yeh, you said it right, monkey wrench in my priorities!! Love it. "Find the peace." I like that too. Thanks, kid. Gonna sleep on it.
Sometimes, do you just wish you could start over at your adult life and make different choices? I keep thinking that when I read some of your posts. I know there are some things I would do differently as well.
However, we need to pull ourselves up and square our collective shoulders and move on. Red, I am thinking of you and sending you positive energy again.... hope you can feel it.
I wish I lived near you so that I could give you a big hug and be your personal trainer and positive person cheering you this week. But, I am closing my eyes (yes, I can type so well that I can do that!) and sending you the positive thoughts!
I skipped working out over the weekend, and in a few moments I will be doing a huge one and getting on that treadmill! I was looking forward to my exercise and now, suddenly, I feel as if I am dreading it - what happened? Maybe I should do something different. I hate sports, so that is out.
Hmmm.... thinking.
Linda
Just a quick message as I am ready to start working today. Not much new to report. I am trying a new beef thai salad tonight, so I'll share if it's good.
Had a lovely thunder and lightning storm here last night. Something about it just makes me appreciate everything more and understand how fragile we all really are when nature can do something so incredible. Guess that holds true with the hurricanes in Florida also.
Chach - I was talking to my brother up there and he told me about the storm. Very rare for Anchorage to have something like that. I'm tremendously anxious about several rather close horsie friends right now who live in the panhandle of Florida. It seems like lately that's all we're doing, is sitting on weather.com watching the stupid hurricanes roll in. It's scary. By the time it gets to us it's usually pretty worn out, lots of rain, maybe a few trees down, but usually nothing serious. Doesn't stop me from worrying about my horses, but thankfully it's nothing like what they're having to deal with down south.
Thunder storms are so common around here in summer that one doesn't give it much thought, generally, but I suppose you are right that is is something to be in awe of and we are really fragile humans, totally at the mercy of the weather at times.
I hope this hurricane doesn't hit Florida that badly, they have had it tough.
We haven't had much in hurricanes in this area in several years, so we are "due". I actually am weird enough to "like" extreme weather conditions. I think I should have been a storm chaser or something!
Have had a good day today with my food and water and exercise! Will it be enough to have a loss at weigh in tomorrow? I'll be holding my breath!
Linda
Well, I'm not sure how much I've even been keeping things up to date. But my treadmill pretty much bit the dust. The belt tore, and the motor is going. A new belt would cost about $150, and even if I replaced that, I'd end up buying a new motor soon, too. So I think I'd just be better off looking into another treadmill. I'll be looking at Play it Again Sports, garage sales, maybe even Walmart or something. I think I can get a great used (probably hardly used) one for a good price, or failing that, I can get a cheaper model for not too much more. I don't need all the bells and whistles. All I need is a digital speed and distance calculator, and electric incline with a digital readout on that, too. And a decent speed motor. My gosh it's amazing what you can get them equipped with now! But really, I don't need or want any of that stuff... all I need is my headphones, and I'm good to go. Hopefully I can do something about that this weekend.
Alright. I'm getting interrupted again. More in a bit.
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Hey chickies.
First off thanks for that chicken crockpot recipe Chachee - I made it over the weekend and it was really good, even the husband like it. I added a few more Italian spices and some fresh garlic to the mix. We had the last of it tonight for supper. I may even experiment and add more chunky vegetables to it.
Red, I'm sorry to hear of your job situation. All I can say is that I clung desperately to a losing situation that was killing me a bit more each day. A horrid place. It was outstanding money and I was trying to hang on 1 more year to pay the debt down. Made it 3 months before they laid off 150 of us and it was actually a relief when we were all let go. Those left behind had it much much worse. And I was forced to make a change that I otherwise wouldn't have - and it was a good change. This time around I am still debating the merits of 2 totally different positions. Not much I can do until I get an actual offer (both jobs are still in wait mode) but at least I have plenty of time to think and weight the benefits and detriments of what I percieve will be offered. Good luck with your situation, I know all too well how difficult it is to take steps or make a tough decision. Like Derry's husband, we all have our horror stories, don't we?
I am getting back on the exercise again. Doing the stretches for my feet - I think they are helping the foot pain and I'm alternating between the bike and treadmill for cardio. Just have to start the weights and not just think about it. And a bit of yoga will also be beneficial. Today I walked a full 20 minutes beyond my original goal. I hope the scale will reflect the efforts at next weigh in.
I hate to see the dark and cooler weather come in. With it comes the hungries. But I will be strong!
Sounds like everyone is hanging in there which is better than giving up. Seems like a busy time for us all. Take care, will catch you later ladies.
Good morning ladies!
I have been so busy this week, didn't have a chance to check in here. Missed you guys!
My WI on Tuesday was "ok", not great, I lost .8 but think it was because I skipped breakfast before I went in there, to be honest. I've been feeling "fat" this week.
But, I have energy and have embarked on a new project that I am excited to be involved in. I am heading up a group of people who are making a quilt for each of the families of the soldiers who died in Iraq and Aghanistan in the state of NH. It's very important to me to show these families that people do care about them and show love for them. I can't imagine what they must be going through, makes my own problems seem like nothing in comparison. This will eat up my time, but I don't care!
Raven, after I bought my treadmill (which I do love and have no regrets in a way) my husband picked up a local publication we have around here called "The Want Ad Advertiser" and I saw TONS of used treadmills for cheap money. I think many people buy them, don't use them and decide to unload them, to be honest. Also, if you search on e-bay in a LOCAL search to you, you could find one right nearby and get a good deal if it's a local pick up!
I use my treadmill all the time, at least 3 o 4 times a week, and would miss it so much if it broke! Just curious, is there some maintenance I should be doing on mine to prevent it from breaking like yours? How old was yours?
Some interesting news has come up on the job front for my husband, I'm praying! Looks like another larger company might be intersted in buying his company. If that happens, we could get some money as we own "shares" in this small company (another reason why it's been so difficult for him to leave there). If this happens, he won't have such a strong reporting relationship with the current President that he works for, the guy we called "Whaky" before. It could really change things, maybe good, maybe bad? We'll see how it plays out and they may not come to an arrangement in the end, who knows?
I am excited, though, as Lancelot's company is very small, less than 25 employees, and we don't have some of the things like retirement plans, life insurance, 401K plans and all that kind of thing that is usually affiliated with a good company. We pay privately, and dearly, for life and disability insurance. Perhaps we'd get better benefits being part of a larger organization? Perhaps Lancelot would be much happer? We'll see what happens, but Lancelot and Whacky are having luch with a Sr. VP and President of this other company today, it's looking good!
Yesterday, I behaved myself and stayed on program very well. I still am feeling fat.
Linda
We're just getting the leading rain bands of Ivan this morning, and it's anyone's guess as to how bad our weather will get. My heart goes out to all of the folks who had to deal with this thing when it made landfall. It's huge, and it's powerful. I know anything we deal with won't be anything at all like what they have gone through. Unless we get to play patty cakes with spawned tornados, I guess.
Jolly - I want to start out by saying that e-mail you wrote was so great. I personally think you should post that here. Even though I *know* everything you wrote, I needed to hear it again. Badly. So thank you.
Linda - Very cool that you're doing something so thoughtful as that quilt. I know the treadmill is the one piece of exercise equipment I will actually use. I bought the one I have used about 5 years ago, and I've literally worn it out. The only thing I can say is to keep the belt clean and if it requires it, use lubrication so it slides freely. That is one of the things that allowed mine to live as long as it did. I have three people (well, two right now) who use my treadmill on a regular basis, so it takes a beating. When I hit my stride, so to speak, I'm doing between 1.5 and 3 miles a day 6 days a week, then add in my daughter and son, and yeah... I use and abuse a treadmill.
Speaking of hitting my stride... I'll be searching for a treadmill this weekend, and hopefully I'll find one. That always seems to be the one thing on which my success hinges, isn't that funny? I've had so many things happen in the last couple months, and I simply could not get my head together to focus at all on weight, food, working out... and I was starting to feel a huge pinch financially because everything seemed to break at once. The car, the treadmill, the horses, clothes wearing out, computers dying, relationships taking hits... it just seems endless sometimes. And not enough funds or mental power to keep up with it all. It dragged me down to a place where I just didn't care anymore.
Well I care again. And maybe I've had another shift in perspective. Because even if you know, logically, all the reasons you need to lose weight, that isn't necessarily enough to DO what you need to do.
Jolly, you mentioned courage. You made me feel so bad when you said that, because lately I've been feeling like such a coward. Afraid to face what it's going to take to get where I want to be. Whether that's with someone by my side or alone... between the time I had with just my daughter last week and the things you said, I realize it doesn't matter whether I do it alone or not. I'm still going to do it. I even ordered the next training video and the next book I need to keep studying. My daughter assured me that even if I don't have a man in my life, I won't be alone. She's right. Who knows how things will go, who knows what direction they will turn, but I need to stay MY course. Let the winds blow as they may.
So .. yeah. I want my treadmill. And I want to lose the rest of this stupid fat. And I want to start lifting again, and doing pilates. I want to be strong. Physically AND mentally. I want to pursue my dreams, and part of that is not carrying around this extra baggage. Thank you for reminding me of that. *hug*
Chachee - Come on down here, girl, and we'll have a storm watching party!! You can play in the winds of the hurricanes!! *lol*
Happy - It's good to see your post. I keep hoping to hear news that you've gotten a job, and it's something you love. I know it's rough to just hang in there.
I'm rambling. It's been so long since I've posted here... so long since I thought I had anything positive to say. Eve ripped her face along the jaw and cheek bone... it was in a hard area to see, and it was during the days when I threw out my back (yes, I definitely need to start pilates again) and my barn owner didn't see it. By the time I found it, I'm guessing it was at least two days old. Far too late to stitch it up. Scrubbed it up as good as I could without Eve going up or over on us with betadine, and slathered furacin ointment all over it. She also has another hoof cracking all to ****, so is still lame and unrideable. I just wish we could grow out new hooves faster, poor girl. Shadow's prognosis isn't great, the vet finally called about the x-rays and the arthritis in that fetlock is getting worse. He wants to go into the joint capsule with stuff to help it, then start an aggressive therapy with other drugs to help slow the degeneration. Whether she will ever be rideable again is still anyone's guess. My poor Arashi is still limping, too. Not sure what the heck is going on with him, I just am getting tired of dealing with too many things at once. I need more time. I wanted to get my tail into the training and orientation classes for the hoof care certification, but it looks like the first opening won't be till early next year. I'm going to jump on that like a starving dog on a pork chop. I'm excited about it, and enjoy the heck out of working on my own horses. I just wish I could do it NOW.
Ok .. I'm rambling indeed. I hope everyone is doing well.
Sunday check in
I have three people (well, two right now) who use my treadmill on a regular basis, so it takes a beating. When I hit my stride, so to speak, I'm doing between 1.5 and 3 miles a day 6 days a week, then add in my daughter and son, and yeah... I use and abuse a treadmill. 
