Hi Renee – is it just the two of us left? Where did Jessica go – did she take a vacation from us?

Congratulations on following your plan and feeling great! It sounds really good that you’re not feeling hungry or craving sweets. And the scale going down too!!! :D
And we can never get too much excitement and motivation around here, so just keep on spreading the good news!

I’m having a good Thursday so far – nothing much to report. Had a nice jog in the morning, the eating is going well so far. I have a lot of schoolwork and writing to do, but just wanted to pop my head in and say hello!

And Jessica, you should report in too! :wave:
Have a nice day everybody! :smug:

Hi Ladies.

I snuck into the local library to check in quickly. My meeting with the lab director went well and ended early so I thought I would take advantage of that. This trip was for business so not totally fun, but since it happens to be in my hometown I am seeing family and friends which is pretty good. Unfortunately I fall into the old routine of eating whatever I want when I am away. I know I shouldn't but I don't like to travel and somehow this makes me feel a little better. I'll watch what I can and just get back on the wagon tomorrow when I get home. Also, I worked on the farm for 5 hours yesterday and felt like I had really done something - didn't have the strength or time to run after that before I left. Today I didn't have the energy or time to run before my meeting. I am going to give it a try tomorrow so I can still get in 3 days of running this week by Sunday. I have cramps too and that doesn't help anything.

Renee - I am so glad that you are feeling so much better and that the SB diet is working for you. I hear you about having someone else do the cooking though. I heard that cravings were supposed to diminish on the diet but don't think I ever really believed them. You seem to be a testament that it does work. Maybe after Labor Day I'll look into trying it.

mette - great job with your exercise as always. If you find some healthy cookies let me know. Like you I can't give up sweets but I realize sweet things come in lots of packages and I should look around for healthier choices. The protein is really a problem. Are you not eating any protein bars even with the extra calories? The one I had contained 25 grams of protein. I guess you just do the best you can. I'll keep my eye out for high protein things. How are nuts? Jave you looked at tofu?

I think body fat testing is good but at this stage not better than anything else. If you have a weigh of measuring your progress that works for you then it is just as good. The scale just doesn't always work for everyone. With your lifting it might be good for you mette if you can find a cheap way. You could go to a store (like Sharper Image or Brookstone) and use their demo scale (hold in hands) to find out bf% and then go back in 3 months. It's cheap! :)

I'll check in again tomorrow. Take care and where is Jessica?

Ang, how nice that you check in on us! Great to hear that your meeting went well too.

After 5 hours of farm work, there really is no wonder that you didn’t exercise more. Rest is important too you know! Really! There’s no point in exhausting yourself! :no:

I’ve had some help from the LWL forum on my squats, and they work much better now. It’s all about how I’m *not supposed* to lift the bar with my arms. No wonder I was worried about not being able to lift the weight.
I got a bit worried that maybe there are other things I do wrong too – so I’m going to drag along an instructor, make him watch me do the exercises and see if I do them correctly!

I stopped eating the protein bars Ang, I didn’t really find any that tasted good. The protein powder is working OK – but I can’t use it with everything. I do smoothies with protein every day (2 smoothies the days I lift weights since I drink one before I go to the gym in the morning), and I put protein powder in some of the things I eat (oatmeal/whole grain muffins, oatmeal pancake). Wouldn’t it be great if we could put it in cookies, though? We could eat sweet and tasty cookies and get proteins too!!! :D
I’ll look around for some recipes.

I have looked at tofu, but I’m still not sure what to do with it. I know you suggested marinading it in soy sauce and then stir fry it with vegetables; I think I’ll try that this weekend. Renee – do you have any suggestions for dinners or sweets from SBD – that doesn’t include meat?

And yes – where is Jessica? I’m getting a little bit worried. Hope she’s just off enjoying life.

I am back from my trip. Unfortunately it ended on a bad note. My mother is not doing well (cancer if I didn't already mention it) and I just got really down eating badly, not exercising, not being home, etc. I also got very sad seeing all my family and friends with their houses, husbands and seemingly good lives. I'm just so tired of being alone and so unhappy and I guess I need the rest of today to just have a pity party and cry a lot. I just wish I was important to somebody around here. There is no one to call to talk to and I don't want to get dressed and go out just to talk to strangers. I even lost the will to go for the bike ride that I was looking forward to yesterday. My heart is just not in it. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and I will get back on the exercise and eating wagon. I'm a tad disgusted with myself though that I am wasted this partial day off and a lot of sunshine. I should be out having a good time running or biking or something. I just can't. :(

mette - I'm glad you're getting assistance with your lifting. Getting an instructor to watch you sounds like a really good idea. Getting help online is good but to have someone see what you are doing is really best. So are you not afraid of dropping the bar now?

I am not eating the protein bars regularly either. I also haven't gone back to the store yet to get protein powder. I have noticed that even though my flax seed meal doesn't have a taste, it does affect the texture of the food. It sounds like the smoothies are working for you though. btw - you can bbq tofu or do almost anything to it that you would do chicken, including putting it in soup.

Please send some good vibes my way. Anyone have plans for tonight or this weekend? No work Monday for me. Yeah!

Well the weekend is just about here and I am going to cheat big time on the diet tonight. I feel sorta bad about it, but at the same time, I didn't want to make this thing like an occult religion. My friend is in on leave from his station in Korea, and we are all going down town tonight for a good time. I maintained the diet all day though - my old philosophy would have been to make this a total 'free day' - and so I am not going to kill myself over a few beers. Maybe I will even get the Low Carb beers to help make it not so bad. :)

The rest of the weekend I am taking it easy. Hoping that spending a ton of time at home will not be hard on my dieting trend. I printed up some recipes from here and will make some 'sweet' snacks when I get home.

Ang - Really sorry to hear how things are going for you. Cancer runs heavily in my family, and is one of the reasons I know that my days of eating whatever needs to stop. Hope things turn up better soon on that. As for the other thing you mentioned. Man, words right out of my mouth. I am 27, but my sister is 44, brother 45 and other brother 39 - whenever I go to family things, or get invited out - I feel like it's the obligatory gotta invite 'the kid' along thing. I feel out of place. I too have no idea where to meet folks for relationships. It was supposed to be at the horse farm, but only retired woman volunteer there! Hahaha.

mette- I am looking for a 'shake' I can do in the mornings that is low carb and sugar free. I grabbed some recipes here, can you give me a warning on what the protein powder is like? Do you even notice it? I hope it's subtle hehe.

Well I likely wont be around to check in until much later this weekend, so you guys be safe and be good. Eat and exercise and have a great holiday!

Renee - I hope you had lots of fun with your friend. Although you may not be strict with your diet, it does sounds like you are making better choices overall with your eating. Do they really make beer that is low in carbs? :lol: I hope you enjoy your time at home this weekend.

mette - what are you doing this weekend?

Jessica - where are you?

Ang, I’m so sorry to hear you had a bad night. I’m sending lots of good vibes your way!!! :goodvibes:
Also sorry to hear about your mother’s cancer, I hope everything works out for her and your family. Is it hard to live away from her, when she is ill?

It’s really the worst thing about traveling: falling out of your routines of eating and exercising. Having food you’re not used to, trying to eat well with bad food options, and then have the emotional stress on top of that. I hope you get into your own rhythm now that you’re home again, Ang.

Also sorry that you feel alone and unhappy – hope everything is better today. :grouphug:
And that you maybe manage to focus on some of the nice things, like the nice weather, your garden, the farm, having time off work, etc. It would make your weekend so much better, and that would be very good...

As for being afraid of dropping the bar when doing squats: the thing is that I was taught to lift the bar incorrectly – you’re not supposed to use your arms to get the bar from the rack and onto your shoulders; you’re supposed to place the bar on the rack in the right height, and then just walk in under it and lift it off the rack with your shoulders. And then back off a couple of steps and start squatting!
No hands! Only shoulders! Once I got the exercise down correctly I added 10lbs when I did squats! :D

Ang; the thing you noticed about the texture of the food, when you added the flax seed – that was what protein powder was doing to my oatmeal, dip and some of the other things I tried to put it into. I didn’t taste it, but it *felt* wrong. But in the smoothies the protein disappears! Renee, when I make smoothies with plain yogurt (low fat) and fruit/berries (blueberries, bananas, kiwi, mango, pears, raspberries, oranges – whatever I have) and add protein powder – it’s not even noticeable that it’s there. I highly recommend it. Protein smoothies are great – especially if the fruit is half-frozen and you get that thick, melting-ice-cream texture: yummy!!!! :T

Renee, hope you had a nice time out with your friends! And that you enjoyed yourself and the beers. I found that I’m OK with the planned cheats, when I know I will be eating more or eating something that’s not on my normal eating plan. When I plan for it, it feels like a part of the program, and I don’t feel guilty about it. It’s the impulsive eating, when I suddenly and out of the blue get cravings for something (chocolate, cookies, etc) I see and smell right there, and then buy it and eat it – without thinking. That’s the sort of eating off plan that sends me into binges, guilt-trips, self-hate, and miserable feelings all around.
The way you did it today, Renee, when you planned for it – is much healthier, I think. Congratulations on that!

I’ve had a good week as far as weightlifting went: I’m still a bit sore – both in my arms and legs, and it really feels great. Friday morning when I woke up I didn’t really want to get up and go to the gym; I was feeling a little down and tired. But I got up, got dressed, went to the gym, got on the bike for my 10 minutes warm up – and sat there thinking that I would rather have stayed in bed.
It got much better once I got into the weight room and started doing squats (it also helped that I did them correctly, and therefore added weights!), and the other exercises. And when I left the gym I felt high because of the exercising. The strange thing was that I was feeling both the ‘down’ and the ‘high’ at the same time. I could still feel the slow low from earlier, at the same time as I felt the new high from the exercise. Very strange. I suppose it means that emotions really are fleeting and not the best foundation to build decisions on.
It’s just that sometimes I worry that I won’t be able to separate the ‘resistance-against-new-habits-down’ from ‘I’m-really-exhausted-and-need-to-sleep-in-this-morning-down’. I’m not really good at reading my emotions, so they’re scary to build decisions on for me. It seems I always change my mind later when I do that, because the emotions change all the time.

Ah well. Plans for the weekend: not many. Mostly reading and staying in. Some errands, maybe meeting up with some people for coffee, maybe a hike. We’ll see. I want to do some yoga both today and tomorrow: it’s so good to stretch out properly.

Hope all of you have good weekends!

Hi everyone,

Sorry I have been MIA this week. I can't say I've been really busy, it's just the little things that have taken up my time or distracted me from my normal routine. That's been happening alot lately. I've been reading everyone's posts, though, so at least you know I've been here in spirit. Everytime I started to write something, I either haven't had much to say or I've gotten torn away to do something else. I've missed talking with everyone though and will post this even if I don't end up saying much!

Work has been very demanding this week, with its usual ups and downs. My meeting Thursday night went very late and the worst part about it was I looked at the agenda and figured we'd be out by 8:30 pm. Mike had to leave for work at 9:30 p.m. and was going to be out to sea for at least a day, maybe even until Sunday we thought. We ended up not getting out until almost 11, so I didn't get to see him before he left, plus we had a couple of trouble makers at the meeting making my job difficult. Anyway, that wasn't very pleasant, but luckily Friday was pretty slow so I got a lot done. Mike also got in last night, so we'll have the weekend together after all.

Mike and I are going out of town next weekend on our mini-vacation. I'm very much looking forward to it. The hotel where we are staying is also a spa, so I can get a facial or a massage, they have yoga classes, as well as public and private mineral hot springs (we even have our own on our patio). He's made dinner reservations at their restaurant which is supposed to have really good food. It sounds like a wonderful place to relax and I can't wait.

In weightloss news, even though I've been so bad with my food and not exercising, I've maintained at 181 for about three weeks now. I was afraid to weigh myself because of all the crap I've been eating, so I was really pleasantly surprised. I think even though I've been eating a lot of fast food and take-out, I'm still consuming about the same amount of calories. I'm not eating much during the day and have really only been having lunch and dinner. I know it's not good, it's not what I want to do, but it is what it is.

Ang, are things better today? I was so sad to read your post when you felt so down and alone. I know it feels terrible to be in that place, but go easy on yourself and you will make it out and feel happy again.

Mette, as always, good job with the exercising! That's the problem with trainers sometimes, that they know even less than we do (in reference to the squat form). I think a lot of gym "trainers" are people who don't have much experience and who just get "certified" by the gym and give people bad advice. I'm glad you were able to figure it out now before it became a bad habit. You're doing awsome.

Renee, I'm so happy for you that you're doing so well on the SBD! It is a real bonus that your sis is doing it with you and doesn't mind doing the cooking. Enjoy your splurge this weekend with your friends and get back on track next week.

I need to reread some of the things that inspired me in the beginning, just like Mette said. Maybe that will help me get back on track. I'll let you all know how that goes. Hope everyone has a great weekend!!! Are you all off work/school on Monday for the holiday?

Every time I think my life has driven me to madness it gets worse (or at least more confusing). That's all I have tonight, ladies. I'll try again tomorrow.

Glad you're back Jessica.

Jessica, so glad you’re back with us! :cheer:
Ang, sorry that you’re confused – no matter what happened, I hope you’re feeling better! :grouphug:

Jessica – it’s good to hear that you’ve been here (in spirit), and you know - just posting to say you won’t post but that you're OK is fine! (I was getting a bit worried – it's only a couple of weeks since your hospital admittance, you know… Very glad that you're fine! :smug: )
Also glad to hear you’ve got Mike home for the weekend, and your plans for next weekend sounds absolutely wonderful.
My eldest niece will visit me next weekend, so I’ll probably be missing in action here at 3FC too.

Congratulations on maintaining your weight - doesn’t it make you feel safer when you see that even when you’re off your eating plan – you don’t gain? And of course: not eating breakfast and lunch, and only eating fast food – yeah, you’ll have to do something about that… ;) Looking into reading that inspires you is probably smart – I know you’ve talked about skinnydaily before, that’s why I suggested that. Maybe some sites for weightlifting too? Did you read Krista’s August 2004 rant about being stressed out? Sometimes we just need to relax, you know! :p

I have increased my calories by 1.000 again this week – I will end up having eaten 12.500 calories this week, or an average of 1.785 a day. It’s starting to look (and feel) like something I could live with.
For next week I’m going for 13.500 a week or 1.930 a day – and I’ll just keep on adding calories until I start gaining – and then stop. I basically just eat more of the same sorts of food I did when I ate 1.500 calories, but with some sweets thrown in. My days vary quite a bit – this week I actually had two days where I ate over 2.000 calories a day – it’s the first time since April. :D

The weekend so far has been rather uneventful, I’ve been watching downloaded episodes of Arrested Development and also Shrek2 a couple of times! (I thought of you when Puss-in-boots appeared, Jessica!!! :lol: ) I wanted something funny!

Hope you’re having a great weekend, both of you.

Hey guys, just a quick check in. I splurged hard core with the beers the night out with my friends, but it hasn't halted my success on SB. :) I've been getting addicted to the scale lately and always check in the morning. I know bad of me. But anyway, I'm down to 178! WoW WOW WWOOOWW! It feels so good. And the night we were out, one of the girls who was there, who I've met only twice said 'Hey Renee, have you lost some weight?' I about keeled over with joy.

We just had our crab royale lunch. Crab, veggies and lowfat mayo mixed together, then served in a blossomed tomato on a bed of lettuce. I prefer firm tomatoes and this one was soft - Blech. But I pushed through it. We are about to head out and get some more diet soda and some ingredients for the SBD Phase I peanut butter cup desserts. Mmm.

As for low carb beer. Yup. Michelob Ultra has less calores and carbs than a regular soda! Bit I had Miller Lite since it was cheaper. ;) Feeling good about things lately. Hopefully this keeps up. This week I am going to be adding the gym back into the routine. I miss feeling that 'good sore'.

A quick check in for me too.
Renee – congratulations on losing weight and doing great on your diet! :D
Ang and Jessica – hope you're off having an excellent Labor Day!

No rest for me today, I have a thousand things to do – most of them school-related. And reading neurobiology: it really can't be done by skimming through the pages.... :lol:
I had my weekly weigh-in today, and my weight keeps perfectly still! I’m very pleased with that.

Have a nice Monday everybody!

Hi Ladies - I hope everyone enjoyed the holiday if you got it off.

I was super busy this weekend and was on an emotional and mental rollercoaster. It happens sometimes - sometimes it is situational and sometimes my brain chemistry shoots me for a loop. I think this past weekend was a little bit of both.

Seeing my mother sick is difficult and talking about her death, wills, and burial plots is not fun either. There is nothing I can do for her though except visit regularly (which I do). I'm less than 2 hours away not, as opposed to 10 hours last year. I don't really have fun visiting though so I don't want to be there for very long. It's a love/hate thing but I visit because it is good for her and I don't want to regret not seeing her enough when she dies.

I am starting to get back into my routine (whatever that is :D ) a little. I ran my 3.8 mile loop Saturday and today and then went biking yesterday on a bike path with a friend. Of course throw in some gardening and it wasn't a bad weekend. I weighed in at 185.4 today. I have made Mondays my official weigh in day (even though I weigh myself almost everyday).

I am still very lonely but just as you said mette - on Saturday I was good enough to be able to get one foot out the door (couldn't do that on Friday) and force myself to do something. After I got moving I started to feel a little better and the mood got better as the weekend went on - cycle working off each other. The main way I get through the loneliness is to just stay super busy and that is what I did. I just keep hoping that I'll meet more and more people and life will get better.

mette - I'm glad you got the right instruction for the squats. Now you can go back to enjoying them. :)

mette - I'm having a hard time remembering to get the flax meal in my diet. Part of the problem is that I don't make enough stuff to add it to. I'll keep working on it though and see if I need the protein powder. I figure a little meal is better than nothing. I am also thinking of getting some cell food to add to my water. It is supposed to help raise you ph. Has anyone heard of alkalizing your body to ward off disease and stuff?

Reading emotions is very difficult. In general I don't think it is good to think with our heart and emotions but we do it all the time. If you figure out a way to put the emotions to the side please share. My brain and heart battle all the time. For certain topics my brain never wins. Hopefully with time you will get more familiar with your feelings about your body, your exercise, etc. All you can do is your best.

Jessica - I hope you enjoyed your weekend with Mike. I am happy for you that you get to go away together next weekend. Of course you'll have to give us all the details. :D

Isn't nice Jessica to not gain weight even when you haven't been 'good'? I think it is a testament to how much you have changed your lifestyle. Even when you don't eat well now, you probably eat so much better than you used to. Congratulations on maintaining at 181. I need to catch up to you!

I have not been in the office since Tuesday. I really enjoyed my 'vacation' even though I was working last week on my trip. I never realized how wonderful it could be to just get away from work for a little while. I am not looking forward to work tomorrow but I am a little more rejuvenated and ready to go back I guess. The holiday was just what I needed. Hopefully going back to work won't be too stressful for any of us.

btw - although not all of it, a lot of the confusion is around my family and my bf. Although by no means good, bf and I have chatted a little more. At least I am telling him how I feel more and that is good for me. I am trying to use this as a growth experience if nothing else. Today he talked to me about growing seedlings in my house to save money for next year's crop. The other day we talked about 30 minutes (a miracle for us these days) about all sorts of things, including ideas for next year. At least right now he seems to want me in his life and talking about next year is a good sign - right?

mette - how do you feel mentally about adding the calories? It seems like the exercise and lifting is going to allow you to eat a nice amount of food during this time. Good for you. I am getting inspiration from you. Congratulations on maintaining your weight. I hope all went well with your school work. I agree that certain subjects cannot be skimmed and I am guessing neurobiology is definitely one of them. :lol:

Congratulations Renee! Weight loss on the scale and seeing results is great. Keep up the good work. The SN diet seems to be working well for you. Has it helped doing it with someone? Are they having success too? I'm glad you enjoyed your night out though. It sounds like you really did a good job with it and had fun but didn't over do it.

Two subjects a day for the next two weeks for me. Yikes. I'll do my best to chck in though at home. Take care all.

Hi everybody.

Ang – I’m so sorry about the situation with your mother! I can really understand that it is very difficult for you and your whole family to deal with her death. But at least you’re visiting often, and when you’re not living so far away – you don’t have to stay so long. No wonder you were on an emotional rollercoaster this weekend, and I hope you feel better.
Great going on getting back into your routine, and congratulations on losing weight! :D

I know nothing about ph and alkalizing your body, I’m sorry – maybe Jessica or Renee does?

Yes, emotions are always the tricky part for me too. I never see them coming, especially the ‘heavy’ and ‘dark’ ones – they sometimes take me by surprise. As if emotions are like the weather: suddenly dark clouds just fill up the sky – something I have no control over. But according to all theories about cognitive therapy emotions are reactions: something happened to activate them. Quite possibly some automatic thoughts or images, and – again theoretically – one should work on identifying the automatic thoughts that lead to negative emotions, and create alternative thoughts to think.
I know it sounds rather naïve, but the worst thing is that when I’ve actually tried it – it always works. When I see that what I’m feeling is the reaction on a thought I had, and that I could just as easily have thought another thought – and then, maybe, I wouldn’t feel down but neutral or up. I don’t know – I don’t think I formulate it very well. But it has something to do with seeing that the emotions I feel and struggle with, that I’m not actually doomed to feel them. They can be changed with some hard work and conscious effort.

Ang – not wanting to go back to work; yeah, you probably should look into other job options, shouldn’t you? ;)
Renee – how is your job these days?

And Ang – I think it’s very good that your bf wants you in his life, but really – why wouldn’t he? You’re nothing but nice, supportive and loving toward him. I’m glad you two are talking more, and that you’re being more assertive. That’s always a good thing.

Most days I’m enjoying adding calories and eating more, but I have had days where I feel like I’m cheating or overeating – which was unexpected. It’s a bout finding the balance, and on most days – especially the days I work out – I like eating more, and it makes me feel good about my body.

I have to prepare some patient work for tomorrow, so I’m off. Hope you all are having a good day. Ang, have a good day at work with your two subjects! :D

mette - thanks so much for your support. It is hard dealing with the family and my mother's illness but we have no choice and I will just keep doing the best I can and so will she. It does add some stress though to an already stressful life.

I sort of understand what you are saying about thoughts and emotions, but usually I can't think about the emotions until later (just get too wrapped up in the feelings) and by then I already feel bad or have done something 'bad' (e.g. eat too much). I do think more though, even if it is a little late, and you are right that sometimes it is possible to think myself into a better place or at least get there a little faster than in the past. I can't always catch myself though and don't always know the trigger. For instance, tonight I came home, ate dinner (nothing special but I put it on a plate which is a big step). AFter dinner I ate a chocolate bar I bought at the store tonight (that's a totally different story) and should have just stopped eating. Apparently something was bothering me though and I ate a few cookies (mother's fault because she gave them to me :) ). I didn't really want the cookies, they didn't taste that good, and after I ate them I regretted it in many ways. It didn't seem to make me feel any better, although I guess it distracted me from something - I just don't know what. Is there a way to figure out situations like that so it does not happen again? How do you come up with the alternative thoughts if you don't know what the original thoughts are?

How was school today mette? Work was ok. I got some of my 'paperwork' done after my trip - although not all - and ran a subject in the afternoon. The subjects keep running over though so I never get out of work on time. Grrr... Luckily the subject tomorrow is in the morning so I don't have to stay late. I actually may leave a little early to meet the electrician to finally get electricity in my garage and finish this project with him that started in April! Keep good thoughts that I get to editing my article a little more tomorrow afternoon and get a few more errands done. Who ever invented errands should be shot. They never end. :lol:

mette - I am glad that in general things seem to be working out for you and the eating. It doesn't surprise me that you would have some issues with eating more but it sounds like you have a handle on it. We're always here if you need us. :D What do you do when you feel like you are cheating or overeating? Can you talk to yourself and explain the situation? Feeling good about your body - what a wonderful thing.

Goodnight all. We seem to have hit a bit of a lull. I hope everyone is ok - Jessica and Renee.