The Pact
 

Introduction: We are 3 women who met in the "Buddy Up" forum, and we thought it was time for us to move our little group into "Support Groups".
The 3 of us have recently made a pact to lift weights, eat right and lose weight. We want to do this together and support each other daily while doing this.

Together we have been trying to learn how to eat well and exercise well. We all want to lose weight, and we don't follow the exact same food and exercise programs either. But we all want to eat more balanced and healthier. And we all want to lift weights and become stronger.

We are also very friendly and welcome anybody who wants to join us in the pact to lift weights, eat right and lose weight!

Hi Ang and Jessica!!! :wave:

I don't have much to report.
But I have talked to someone at the gym, and have now an appointment to call one of the instructors for an appointment. So, I'll do that later - and then I'll know when the actual appointment will take place. :rolleyes:

I am also feeling very enthusiastic about this, because I spent some time reading Krista's pages yesterday. I want to have a good idea of what I'm after before I go to the gym - so that I can tell the instructor what I'm looking for.
And Krista's weightlifting program for beginners - a 2 day split - looks exactly like what I'm after: http://www.stumptuous.com/weights.html
I want to start off with a simple program, and get more adventurous as I go along.

And - hey! welcome to our new home! :D

Hi Mette~

Congratulations on making progress toward getting with your trainer and reading more about lifting weights. I know the more prepared you are, the easier it will be and the better results you'll get.

I stayed up so late last night and slept in about a half hour later than usual. My interview panel is today, but I found out yesterday that due to "lack of intrest", our 9 interviews have dwindled down to 3. So, it will be a longer work day in the office than I thought.

Ang, I hope my message last night didn't sound to harsh, I just had one of those "light bulb" moments and felt very strongly about where we are in our lives as opposed to where we want to be.

Mette, thank you for starting the new thread! I hope we like our new home!

I have to get ready for work since I don't have much time this morning. Hope everyone has a great day!

By the way, weighed myself this morning and was down 2 more lbs.! Woohoo!

SW: 202 <---------- 6/20/04
CW: 185
GW: 148

Hi Ladies - our new home is quite nifty. :D

Thanks Jessica for the inspiration. You were not too harsh at all. Sometimes I need someone to tell me what I know but just ignore. I just wish I knew why I was so scared to step up and live life the way I should and truly want to. Maybe I need to sit down and really figure out what I want out of life. You had a lot of great ideas and I'm glad it inspired you and you were able to share that inspiration. I have always thought that it is essentially that you know where you're going before you try to get there. It seems like you have a real goal now. I know you can do it. You just need to believe. You have been very successful so far and I hope that helps you build your confidence. When you don't have supportive parents you don't always build self worth so when you get older it is your own responsibility to create that self worth. I am struggling with this too but no one else will do it for you. You are taking the first steps. You go girl. :D

mette - I will look for the printout for Krista's workouts tonight. I remember reading a lot of her stuff and liking it. The way she breaks up the workouts does fit right in with our plan. Good job with moving forward at the gym. Will going to the gym affect your running schedule at all? Are you thinking of adding a third day of cardio to your routine while at the gym, maybe elliptical or bike?

Jessica - sorry to hear about the interviews. I hope it is still fun and interesting. At least some break from work is better than nothing. :) Hopefully at least one of the three candidates will be a good one.

:bravo: :dance: :cheer:

Congratulations Jessica on another 2 pounds lost!

I guess I better get some work done. Later Ladies. Ang

Jessica – you’re doing great!!! Congratulations on loosing another 2 pounds! :hat:

As for the gym - I have talked to the instructor and have an appointment with him on Tuesday (he only works Tuesdays and Thursdays during summer, and didn’t have time today).
Which means that next week I can lift weights at home as usual on Monday, go to the gym for instructions on Tuesday, and then start weightlifting at the gym Wednesday! Wow. I just hope everything works out: that I like it there, that I stick with it long enough to get through the anxiety-barriers I have about gyms. Exciting times ahead, that’s for sure! ;)

I was thinking I would keep up the running on Tuesday and Thursday mornings Ang, but I have been a little bit worried the last couple of times I’ve been out. My right knee has been a bit painful when I’m jogging, so I think I have to look for alternatives to jogging – maybe I could use an elliptical or bike for a couple of weeks? I really, really like the morning jogs, and don’t want to do anything that can jeopardize them. I hear horror stories all the time about people damaging their knees – and how it takes forever for it to heal.

Ang - maybe if you had a couple of good alternative exercising programs you could easily do at home and indoors in the evenings – like weightlifting, yoga, exercise DVDs, or whatever – it would be easier for you to still do *something* even if you didn’t go out running? I also think you should include work in the garden as exercising! And when you do that, it doesn’t look so bad, does it?

Have a great Thursday!

mette - I'm glad you have an appointment with the instructor at the gym. Take one day at a time. Don't worry about sticking with it, just think about going to the instruction with an open mind. It is a new and exciting adventure. Don't let preconcieved notions about gyms take away from this exciting time. I guess I better get moving and pick which days I am going to lift.

You definitely don't want to injury yourself, mette. In what way does your knee hurt - muscle? joint? Is there any chance that your shoes have outlived their usefulness for morning runs? Have you changed ANYTHING about your running - distance, time, location? Using a bike wouldn't be bad to see if the pain goes away and then try running again. It could be like a little experiment. :lol:

I do have a couple of videotapes but don't really have the space in my house to jump around. I'll see what I have though. I guess it's not so bad when I count gardening but the rain has kept me from even that the last two days. Tonight is my pub run though so maybe it's the first step back on track.

I talked to bf twice today and he doesn't know if he has time to see me this weekend. I am just trying not to think about it because it is the only way to keep it from really upsetting me. I am not staying late tonight so I'm outta here.

Have great evenings. Ang

Hi mette and Jessica -

I just wanted to tell you that I did run tonight. I am glad I went and on eof my running friends actually made it to the run so we talked and ran together. I knew I just needed something to get me out there once. I plan on running again tomorrow after work. I realize how much I missed it. Unfortunately we ate bad food and I had a beer afterwards but oh well. Right now I am concentrating on the exercise and my mood. I went to the grocery also today and was less strict about what I bought (I actually bought bread!). I am trying not to deprive myself and to see if that helps with the food situation. If nothing else it should help my mood around food and that may spill over into the rest of life.

I hope you both had great evenings. Be back tomorrow. Ang

Evening girls!

Well, I had a good day and a bad day. The interviewing went great. It's a difficult process, because how much can you really know someone after talking to them for 30 minutes? It was a really interesting experience though, being on the other side of the table. I'm really glad I got to be a part of it. When it was over, I went back to the office and had another experience where a guy got SO pissed at me over something really trivial. In California, contractors are required to either have worker's compensation insurance or be declared exempt. Our system is set up so that if I don't have that information, I can't issue a permit. Well, I asked him about it, and he just got really hostile and kept saying I was trying to tell him he had to do this and that, yelling at me! The funny thing was, he had the insurance, I looked it up online in less than 30 seconds, but he got really irate. My supervisor, Jeff, was having a meeting at the counter next to me and he jumped in to stand up for me, asking the guy why he had to be so rude, and telling him he didn't want his staff treated like that. Well, it was a nice thought, but the guy got even MORE upset. He really just fuelled the fire. The worst thing about it was that his client, a man I've been dealing with for a few weeks and who has just been the nicest guy, was standing right there witnessing the whole thing. He just looked down at the counter and didn't even want to look at me. I think he felt really bad, but all HE wanted to do was get his permit. I finally finished up with the man, thanked his client and wished him well, and sent them on their way. Needless to say, I maintained my composure, did what I needed to do to get through the situation, and when the guy left, I headed for the bathroom and was in tears. I felt kind of stupid for crying about it, I guess I inherited that from my mom. When we get angry, we end up crying. Anyway, I cleaned myself up and finished my day. Jeff asked me about it later; he didn't even know why the guy was yelling at me; he said he couldn't even concentrate on HIS customer because this guy was being so loud. I explained what happened and he just couldn't believe the guy would fly off the handle about that. I'm getting really tired of getting attacked like that. I either need to develop a thicker skin and learn to stand up for myself, or find a new career. Sheesh.

Anyway, thanks for reading my ramble. I just get blown away by things like that because I'm truly a nice and caring person and go out of my way, especially at work, to be kind and helpful. So much for that!

Mette: Your workout plan for next week sounds awsome! I'm so excited about opening this "new chapter" in our journey. I'm concerned about your knee too. Does it pop? My arthritic knee pops now whenever I go up stairs. I really love the elliptical machine at my gym (it's a Precore, I think) because there is no impact and you can really work up a sweat.

Ang: I'm so glad you went running and enjoyed it! You sound like you're feeling a little better. Let us know if you get a run in tomorrow. Have you made any plans for this weekend? I know there are probably a lot of really good things about him, but everytime you post something about your bf, I get really irritated by the things he says to you. It just hits really close to home, and I know how those little comments can tear your self esteem apart, if you let them. Urgh...

Well, I was so tired tonight when I got home, we ordered pizza for dinner. It tasted good, but I feel pretty ucky right now. I didn't eat all of my "mini meals" today because of my schedule, so that might have had something to do with it too. I had four slices, which is still on par or less than I would have eaten before. I also ordered the extra thin crust and didn't put any ranch dressing on it (yeah, that used to be a regular routine too.) I'm not going to beat myself up about it. Food for today was:

Breakfast: yogurt w/ protein powder
Lunch: Cobb salad w/ rasberry vinagrette on the side
Snack: 2 string cheese
Dinner: 4 slices of pizza

I'll check in in the morning! Hope everyone had a good night!

Ang - congratulations on going running!! And isn't it great when you find out how much you've missed it?
Depriving yourself is never a good idea - go for balance instead. Eat bread *and* some lean protein. Concentrating on exercising and your mood, as you say - you know what makes you feel good.

Jessica - what a day! Hope you're feeling better. I can't believe people behave like that - and I totally understand it must be dreadful to work where people yell at you! Jeez. Good for you that you kept your cool and did your job, and also good that your supervisor stood up for you! (even if the results weren't that good)
I don't know about getting a thicker skin - I think it's very understandable and normal to be upset and cry when somebody treats you like that.
Couldn't you prevent it from happening instead? Ban the screamers from your offices??? ;)

And yes - I will try to not let preconceived notions about the gym ruin it for me. Thanks for the support guys!

As for my knee - it's not the muscle but the joint I think. It doesn't pop or make noises, and the pain is sort of dull. I haven't been changing anything about my running, but I wonder if I maybe should look into changing my shoes. Great idea, btw!
I could use some new shoes, and I could really use some new gym clothes. It's part of my improved enthusiasm for going to the gym: I want to look good so that I feel better - so I'm going shopping for cute and smart gym clothes that fit this weekend. Baggy T-shirts and old rags are going into the trash.
I got the idea at Krista's pages (she really is the guru!) - and it's so obvious! I've been going to the gym before in ugly clothes, and hated what I looked like (all the mirrors everywhere) - and it's only logical that some smart clothes would help my mood. And like Ang says: when the mood improves - the motivation improves too!

I'll also look into the elliptical machine at the gym. I would love to go biking in the mornings btw, but haven't fixed my bike since it was broken 3 years ago (yeah - I know!). Maybe I should look into that too? Hm. Many great ideas here today!

See you later.

Good morning!

Jessica - I am so sorry to hear about your experience at work yesterday. Some people are just inconsiderate a*&holes. You didn't deserve it and shouldn't take it personally. I know it would have bothered me too, but it is his problem. He probably had a bad day (or a bad childhood :lol: ) and unfortunately took it out on you. I am glad that the interviewing went well. As a grad student I got to sit in on some group 'interviews' for faculty candidates and it was always interesting. I had no power though. Do you get a vote in the hiring process? What are you doing on your day off?

Please don't worry about your food yesterday. Not really a bad day. One day in many that you eat 'differently' (not even really bad) is not bad. You can also concentrate on the fact that your pizza choices (thin crust, no ranch) are better than they once were. Enjoy the pizza and today is another day. I do agree that sometimes when you eat different food it doesn't sit well. My body is not happy about the nachos I ate last night at the pub. I woke up this morning and couldn't even eat my cereal. Hopefully I'll feel better later.

Jessica - you are not alone in getting irritated with my bf. I have been trying to say things to him but never finish the entire thought so I don't make much progress. I'll try not to mention him so much. Why should he negatively affect more lives than just mine.

I don't really have any plans for the weekend as my friends are out of town. I am watching their cat - that is the extent of my plans. I think I will go with my biking group on Sunday and try to get a lot of cleaning done in the house. I might even tackle going shopping for some tops since I seem to wear all blue, black and white and thought I should interject some color into my summer wardrobe. We'll see how I feel. It takes the right mood to be able to go shopping for me.

Yeah for mette - I'm glad you are so excited about the gym. I think getting the 'right' clothes can do wonders for your attitude. When you look at the bottom of your running shoes are they worn at all? Unfortunatley running shoes don't last long at all (as llittle as 3 months and not usually longer than 6 months). The wrong shoes can definitely cause pain. I love biking btw and think it would be great for you to get into it. Do you have a bike shop near you that could fix your bike? Maybe you could make it a goal to drop it off so you have an alternative or addition to running. Personally the elliptical machines hurt my knees but I think I am the only one in the world. :lol:

I was thinking about planning specific meals and rotating them so I know what I am eating. Can you two help me plan some things that are nutritous? How about this breakfast? It's the one I've been eating. When I get home I'll try to get the numbers that go with these.

1/4 C fiber one cereal (I think about 110 cals and 8g fiber - highest I could find)
1/4 C soy milk (don't drink the extra so I don't even get this much)
small handful of walnuts or almonds (may try granola later)
small handful of blueberries (or other berry)

The nuts and berries are definitely not a whole serving but it's something and makes the cereal more interesting.

Lunch?

1 slice whole grain and nut bread (Health Nut is the name but don't remember brand)
sliced buffalo or bbq chicken breast (how much? - I guess I need to buy a scale)
slice of low fat swiss cheese (would 2 be too much?)
piece of fruit (banana or apple probably)

I was thinking of adding a yogurt or something else to give me enough volume - any ideas or thoughts on what I propose?

Have a great day.

Hi guys –

Ang – I agree with Jessica that your BF sometimes sounds really irritating (sorry!), but don’t stop mentioning him, what’s going on, or what you’re feeling! Keep talking about it; it’s a big part of what’s going on in your life. But only if it’s not uncomfortable for you that we’re commenting. By now, I’m very curious at how this will end up. And I also think it’s one of the things you have to deal with – one way or the other – before you take yourself and your projects in life truly seriously.

If you’re not doing anything for the weekend – why don’t you come over to me and help me move all my stuff out of the way, so that I can start painting tomorrow??? Heh. ;)

You have both a biking group and a running group? Ang, you’re really getting around and getting exercise! That’s great!

My shoes actually do look worn – and I had no idea that you need new shoes that often! Apparently I don’t have a clue when it comes to jogging! :p I’ll look for shoes tomorrow.
Today I went shopping for a sports bra, and found a great one - and I fit into a cup size D!!! Yey!!! My breasts have never looked this small – I’m possibly never taking this bra off again!
As for the bike and whether there are any bike stores that can fix it near by – I have no idea! I’ll have to look around – and it really would be a great addition to jogging.

OK. Your food and suggestions. Jessica will probably do a much better job than me at this, but here are my suggestions:

Your breakfast looks very yummy, btw! Are you looking for alternatives for breakfasts too? If that’s the case I’ll suggest oatmeal with skimmed milk and banana, and oatmeal pancake (oatmeal, cottage cheese, egg whites) with fruit. The oatmeal is very simple and made very quickly. The pancake I sometimes eat in the weekend, and sometimes when I’ve been out jogging – it takes a bit longer to make, but not *that* long. Other breakfasts: müsli, yogurt and banana. Slice of whole grain bread, cottage cheese, and banana. (Can you tell that I really like banana in the morning? It’s filling and I really like the taste – banana makes it more interesting for me, much like the almonds do for you I suppose!)

For lunch: 1 slice of meat and 2 slices of cheese with your bread – I don’t think that’s too much. It’s about what I eat – minus the meat for me. And I add peppers (red, green or yellow – I alternate!), sometimes tomatoes and cucumber. And I also eat an apple or orange or another fruit.
Other things: I’ve been thinking of fixing salads for lunch when I start up with school again. I want to eat more beans – and beans are excellent protein in salads. I’m sure Jessica has a lot of good ideas too!

Morning ladies! :wave:

It's almost 10 a.m. here on the west coast. I slept until almost 9:30 this morning. Yikes! I think yesterday was very draining for me. :sp:

The interview process yesterday: Yes, the three members of the interview panel had to score the applicants in about 8 different catagories and write notes about each one, and then give them an overall score. If we had more candidates, it would have been even more crucial, because they only grant a second interview to the top three. Since there were only three, the department managers will consider their overall rank when they interview the candidates. So, yeah, I did have some power which made it a bit more difficult. Luckily the three of us were pretty well agreed on the ranking, so I felt pretty confident I did the right thing.

Ang, about your boyfriend, I only commented because I hope you're able to see how he is affecting you and take the steps you need to to resolve the situation. Please keep us up to date, and if it helps to talk about it and give feedback, nothing is off limits to post! I agree with mette that the process we're going through is to grow, in more areas in our lives than just weight loss, and it's important to discuss and analyze these things. My parents, your bf, mettes school and career, etc. are all inter-related to our ultimate goals of being healthy and fit. So, I'm not irritated that you post about him, I just don't think he is helping your journey at all. :no:

Oooh... I'm so excited that you've asked for meal ideas!! :D ha ha ha... Of course, you need quick and simple, especially for breakfast and lunch. Here are a few suggestions:

Breakfast:

toasted ww english muffin w/ butter and hardboiled eggs (I either mash the eggs in a seperate container, peel them and eat whole, or mash and make a sandwich w/ the english muffin)

Oatmeal (whole oats) w/ soy milk, toasted wheat germ and natural peanut butter (this is a new concoction of mine and keeps me really full)

Shredded wheat (or any kind of low sugar, high fiber cereal), with milk and splenda (add the fruit and nuts too, if you wish; that sounds really good)

Fruit and cheese

Lite fruit flavored yogurt and cottage cheese blended, or yogurt and protein powder (so you get some a.m. protein too)

Lunch:

Cobb salad is my favorite salad right now, with mixed greens, bacon bits, chopped egg, sliced turkey, veggies, low fat low sugar dressing on the side, or just some oil and vinegar w/ salt, pepper and some Splenda mixed together

sandwich w/ ww bread, lean turkey, chicken, roast beef, 1 slice of cheese, veggies, etc.

ww pitas or ww tortillas filled with a serving of protein like chicken, dressed up w/ low fat dressing, mayo, mustard, etc. and veggies

Low fat, low sugar prepared or hommade soup w/ noodles or rice, beans, meat, etc. and a green salad

Snacks:

fruit and cheese
ww or rye crackers w/ cheese and deli meat
nutrition bars or shakes (just read the labels closely)
nuts and fruit
apple and peanut butter
veggie sticks or cucumber slices and hummus

Does that give you any ideas? I think in your case, if you eat like this during the day, there's no reason you can't have a "Lean Cuisine" or "Weight Watchers" frozen dinner w/ a big salad or big serving of steamed veggies on the side. That should fit into your schedule and you won't be frustrated because you have to cook. You might also want to give yourself one day a week as a "free day" where you can eat whatever you want, like I was telling you the BFL plan includes. That way you're not feeling deprived on a weekly basis. And on your question about the amount of protein to eat, BFL gives a good guide, and you don't have to use a scale: protein should be roughly the size of the palm of your hand, and carbs about the size of your clenched fist. That makes it pretty easy to determine how much you should eat per meal.

I'm glad you have some things to do this weekend! I'm the same when it comes to shopping for clothes. I pretty much have a 1 hour max when I shop, and really HATE trying things on, although I'm getting better about this. I think it's funny that all of us tend to wear black, blue, gray and white exclusively. I have a couple of red tops that I wear to work and always get compliments on how good I look when I wear them. Yet I'm almost always in black, gray or blue. Do you think it has something to do with not wanting to draw attention to ourselves, and to be kind of muted? Hm.

Mette: I know what you're saying about getting nice gym clothes. I tend to lean toward exercise pants, like yoga pants, and a t-shirt. I guess my hangup is trying to look decent without looking like I'm trying too hard to look good. The funniest is when you see girls all made up with make-up, big hair, jewlery, trying to look "hot" and they never break a sweat. Sheesh. By the way, can you tell me the make on your sports bra and where you got it? When I go to places like Sportmart the largest they have is usually a 36-C, so I'm stuck squeezing into something that's too small, and it's uncomfortable. I'm so excited you found one you like. Please tell me all about it! :)

I'm thinking about getting a bike too, so I can ride it to work a few days a week. That really would be the best compromise and would save some wear and tear on my car. It should only take me about 5 minutes to get to my office on a bike. My only dillema would be where to keep it, since my place is so small and I don't have a lot of storage options.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Hope you two are having a great day!! :dizzy:

Jessica – great food ideas – I really must start to print out all this information about food. It's great.

As for sports bras – I never buy bras in sport stores; I always go to lingerie shops. It’s because I’ve always had really big breasts and I want good quality bras. It’s the kind of store where the lady behind the counter takes one look at you and say: “You’ll need a 38D” and is completely correct! :D
I really feel strongly about getting bras in right size and shape for your body – especially if you’re big breasted. Uncomfortable bras are the worst thing ever!
The one I got this time is Rosa Faia according to the tag, but it’s a brand I’ve never had before I think. I seldom notice brands btw, I just try on the ones I’m brought when I stand in the changing room.
But I know that I have used (and liked) Champion several times – both models like this:
http://www.championcatalog.com/cgi-b...fnbr=74674&V=B and this: http://www.championcatalog.com/cgi-b...fnbr=74674&V=B.
The one I bought today was more like this one – with the X or racer straps on the back: http://www.championcatalog.com/cgi-b...fnbr=74674&V=B.
I’ve found that the average sport store is not the place to get sports bras when you’re big breasted. See if you can find a nice lingerie shop and check out what they have there.

I want something like what you’re wearing at the gym, Jessica - in some nice colors and the right size – no more baggy and loose gym clothes.
And no makeup or trying to be hot either! Got it! ;)

I think you’re absolutely right that the choice of colors is about hiding too. Just like fat is.
Not wanting attention, not wanting to be seen.
I’m also having trouble buying clothes that actually fit – I love clothes that are too big. I have to stop myself from buying XL and XXL sweatshirts and jackets.

I have to go back - talk to you guys later!

Here I am alone on a Friday night :( - at least I have you two to write to. :)

I know my bf is a jerk and I don't blame you for saying so. EVERYONE I talk to about bf thinks I should dump him so you are both in good company. Actually I want objective (as obj as possible under the circumstances) and honest opinions, I think it really helps me think about the situation I little more intellectually. I don't think I would even be this far if it weren't for talking to people like you and getting feedback that helps me see what he is doing and not doing. I just wish I didn't feel bad about myself over it in the meantime. I'll keep you updated. Today he took his day off and went to CT. On his way there he let me know that he would probably stay over. I knew he would but he wouldn't tell me ahead of time. I almost said something on the phone earlier but I was at work. I went silent for a moment and he asked me if something was wrong and I just shrugged it off. I really hope I see him tomorrow at the farm because next week is going to be **** for him at work and I am sure I won't see him. I can't go through another whole week like this. Give me courage!

mette - I wish I could come help you move stuff. ;) I like helping people out, especially physical stuff. Good luck with it. Do you have any help? What are you painting?

Tonight I found out that I have blackberry and blueberry bushes in my yard! I can't believe I never noticed them before. This tells you how little I have been in my own yard. I also met my neighbors to the side. These are the first people that I have met in my area since I moved in. They seemed nice and the guy professes to be a good handyman. He offered to mow my front lawn tomorrow because I have not made time and it is getting super long. He also is helping me fix an electrical switch that was giving me problems. This could turn out to be a very good thing and in general I just feel better knowing who my neighbors are.

My favorite things are outdoor stuff and I love to bike so I looked into a running club. So far I found one two towns over but they are older and only ride on Sundays. I have gone with them a couple of times and hope to go this Sunday but I would love to find some younger and closer people to ride with during the week some. I've looked a lot but just not sure how to find them. I guess I'll just keep my eyes peeled. If I participate in all the running and biking activities, I would work out 4 times in a week over 3 days. I did this one or two weeks and hope to get back this week to that schedule. I hate feeling like a blob and that's all that is going to change it - exercise.

Please let me know if either of you pursue the biking. I would love to have some discussions about it (nothing intense but just nice to talk to other women about their experiences).

Even though I am not an expert runner, I have read a lot about it and can try to answer any questions if they arise. mette - have you ever gone to a running store to have your gait analyzed so you are wearing the right type of shoes? It is definitely worth it if you are going to keep running regularly. I hope new shoes fixes your problem.

Thank you both for all of the food suggestions. I printed them out (and found Krista's workout btw) and will take this weekend to make a grocery list that will help me have good breakfasts and lunches all week. I'll wing the dinners for now and concentrate on B and L. One step at a time.

I'm not sure, but the more I think about it the less I think I will go shopping tomorrow, maybe Sunday but I doubt it. I just can't try on clothes when I feel this awful about my body. It is hard enough when I feel ok. I agree jessica that we probably want to hide a little. I also do it because I have no sense of style and so it is easier to match colors. I also get compliments at work when I wear a real color - something about skin tones.

Keep me updated on your shopping. I expect each of you to buy at least one thing that is not white, black, blue or gray. :) Maybe I should join a gym so I can buy some gym clothes. :lol: mette - I do exactly the same thing with clothes. I want big and comfortable. I can't wear things that are form fitting, even if they are the 'right' size. I know I am just self conscious about my fat. My ultimate goal is to be able to exercise in shorts and a spandex top (those tankini types are nice) with putting a t-shirt over me.

Jessica - can you hang your bike from a ceiling or wall? I do this all of the time and it helps keep it out of the way a little.

Sorry for the really long post. There is just so much to talk about. Tomorrow for me is mow the back yard, run and do some farm work (not sure what I'll do though since the weeding is under control now). I also have a couple of errands including checking in on a friends cats. I am seriously considering going to this thing tomorrow night in Providence but it is an outdoor social thing and I would be going alone. What do you think? Would it be unsafe? Would it be boring by myself? Would it be dorky?

Have a great Saturday!

Hi Ang,

Sounds like you're having as exciting a Friday night as me! I cooked healthy meatloaf and cauliflower for dinner. We just finished up. Mike's on the couch watching the Angel's baseball game, I'm on the computer as usual. He bought me a new printer, so I've been printing out all of my favorite recipes to put in a book. We had a nice day. Lounged around until about 1:30 this afternoon, then went and ran a couple of errands. He wanted to eat at Hometown Buffet (first of all, I can't stand that place, secondly, any kind of buffet is BAD for someone trying to lose weight!) so we had a late lunch there. I was really good. I had a salad (pretty much a cobb salad w/out meat), 1/2 a chicken breast with some skin, a small serving of red potatoes, some carrots, and a couple of chunks of mellon. He indulged but had a spinach salad instead of dessert, so I was proud of him. Spent the afternoon setting up and playing with the new printer and just hanging out around the house. I didn't exercise, as usual.

This may sound like a strange idea, but have you ever considered writing your bf a letter to tell him how you feel? I think, even if you never gave it to him, it might help you eventually express to him what you need to tell him. Or at least help you really see how the relationship makes you feel. I find that when I put things down on paper, I see more clearly what is going on in my own head.

As for the outdoor social, are you going to know anyone there? If you feel up to it, I think you should go for it! If you're not having any fun, you can always leave. I don't know if I would be confident enough to go by myself, but that's just me. Sometimes I can feel a little "phobic" being out in public alone like that. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, though.

I'm glad you met your neighbors. They sound like great people! How wonderful and lucky for you that they are so nice. I've sort of befriended the "crazy cat lady" across the hall from me. I visited with her for a few minutes tonight. She had given me a little cat bed for my kitten. I was able to snap a couple of pictures of him in it on my digital camera and printed one out for her with my new printer. She was so happy he liked it and said she'd put his picture on her fridge. She's really sweet and funny, and her place is like a cat palace, literally. She's got like 5 cat condos in her living room. I thought I was bad! ha ha...

I'm so glad our food suggestions were helpful. Let us know how your grocery shopping goes. I hope you're able to make a good effort this week with the food. I'm curious to see if it starts to help you feel a little better, in general.

I guess that's about it for me right now. Good luck with the chores tomorrow. Mike's back out to sea for the day, so I'll have some time to myself. I should make a list tonight so I don't fritter away my Saturday. Good night and hopefully talk to you both tomorrow!

Hi –
Hope you’re having good weekends. I’ve been busy cleaning and organizing – and then painting my bookshelf. You would think it’s a major project the way I’ve been talking about it, and actually it *is*. I have so little space here, and the bookshelf take up half the wall. It’s been a problem just figuring out where to put the books so that they’re out of the way (for the painting! I need the floor!). Most of them ended up under the bed.

No exercise for me today – just painting and cleaning. Which I actually count as exercise! ;)

Ang – blackberries and blueberries??? You lucky girl!!! :D Your garden sounds absolutely wonderful!
And I’m very impressed that you seek out clubs and other people to exercise with – it seems to work very well for you too, because you seem to be motivated by exercising with others. Working out 4 times in a week with biking and running sounds absolutely great – and if you also add a little weightlifting at home - you’ll probably see results fast!

I’ll see if I can dig up the bike and figure out who can fix it – maybe later this week.
Today I bought new shoes – and it was an impressive process – they actually had me jogging on a treadmill in the store to see what kind of shoes I should wear! I’m so ignorant of all of these fitness and exercise things – everything is an adventure for me! Even buying shoes to run in! ;)
It’s just what you were talking about Ang! And I got really nice shoes too! I look forward to using them Tuesday morning!

Hope you got all of your work done today Ang!
The outdoor event in Providence – it could be fun if you’re in the mood. I’m sure you’ll find people there to talk to, and there will be things to see and do? And like Jessica said: if you’re not having fun, you can leave!

Jessica – hope you’re having a good and effective Saturday too!

Quick reply
 

Jessica - I'm gald you had a nice Friday. Sometimes just relaxing is a good thing. It seems like you ate great again. Anything we can do to help with the exercise? Can you get in a walk today?

I like your idea about writing a letter to bf, Jessica. Depending on how tomorrow goes I may do that. Long story short, he never showed up at the farm today so I did not see him. When he called I told him we needed to talk. Of course he asked about what and I wouldn't tell him because he was on his way to work and was hungover. He guessed pregnant and dying (where do people get these ideas). Anyway, after we hung up I made myself more important and called him back and told him that we needed to talk about the farm and that I was not happy about what he told me last week. I'm not sure he knew what I was talking about since I was babbling, but it's a step in the right direction for me. I don't think he thought it was going to be anything bad and he didn't know what to do about it. I am hoping to get a couple of minutes of face time tomorrow before he goes to work, but I don't have any idea when we will be able to sit down one night - even though I asked he does not give me his schedule each week. Bottomline, I'm still lousy at it, but at least I am starting to speak up for myself and speak my mind. yeah!

I decided to go to the 'party' tonight. A coworker and her family are going to meet me there. I have never been in the city alone and have no idea where I am going but it will be an adventure. I just have to get out of the house and be with people. I hope it will be fun.

btw - my neighbor came by today and fixed my light switch. $7 switch instead of $100 electrician visit. Can't beat that, even if it ended up that I didn't need the new switch (it was a different problem).

mette - cleaning and painting is definitely exercise. What color are you painting the bookshelf? You can come do my wardrobe next. :lol:

I did go out and ran for 40 minutes this morning. It was really rough but I'm glad I did it. So far I had my cereal this morning and just had lunch (4pm) which was a small salad, chicken breast, and some peanutbutter on whole grain bread, ff pudding. In hindsight I could have done with the bread and pb but I thought I was still hungry. I need to work on deciding portions with my eyes and not my stomach.

mette - from your mouth to god's ears about the exercise and results. I am going to do my best to exercise 4 times a week and the weights 3 times a week. Of course I'll keep you posted and we'll see if I lose anything. Right now I'm too scared to stand on the scale to see where I am 'beginning'.

I'm so glad, mette, that you went somewhere to buy shoes where they were knowledgeable. It seems like they did all the right stuff. What brand did you get? I wear Asics. Let us know if Tuesday is pain free.

How is your day going Jessica?

I'm off to find Providence. I'll let you know all about it later or tomorrow. Enjoy the evening.

Ang

PS - so maybe quick doesn't equal short. :lol:

Hi guys,

I'm not in a terribly good mood today. It's already past 2:30 p.m. and I really haven't gotten much accomplished. I think I need to just throw on my gym gear and get out of this house! I'm doing my usual... a little bit on the computer, a little bit of cleaning, a little t.v., and really just wasting my Saturday. I've noticed that my eating gets really spotty on the weekends, as well as my water consumption. I end up feeling groggy all day. I'm sure that's part of the reason. Ok, enough typing. More action! I'm going to get my gym clothes on right now and get out of here.

Mette: thank you for the links to the sports bras. You know I took my measurements and according to what they say, I need like a 42 DD, not a 38 D like I've been wearing. Yikes!

Well, I'll drop back in when I get home. Thank you guys for the motivation!

Hi guys,

Just wanted to drop a quick note to tell you that I DID go to the gym, and I did 20 minutes of interval training cardio from the BFL routine, did some ab work and stretched. I feel SO much better. Not only do I feel like I actually accomplished something today, I feel more focused and in a much better mood. Yay! I'm going to finish up my laundry and do some more cleaning so the house is nice when Mikey gets home.

Ang: I'm so glad you got your run in today! I wish I had worked out this morning, because I think it would have made the rest of my day more enjoyable and productive. I hope you're having a great time at the "party". Let us know all about it. Maybe you'll inspire me to go out and do more things, even by myself. Are you going to get your grocery shopping in tomorrow? Best of luck with the bf. Does he have any clue that you're struggling in this relationship? He seems to be very self-involved, in my humble opinion. Maybe you need to give him a little wake-up call!

Mette: Again, thank you for the links to Champions. I called one of our local "plus size" clothing stores, thinking they may be the best place for bigger bra sizes. They only carry one kind which zips up in the front, and it's not a name brand. I need to shop around, or maybe just order online. Your painting project sounds like a lot of hard work but really fun. I love refinishing furnature although since I don't have much space either, it's difficult. My next big house project I think will be rearranging my furniture. With Mike, me and the cats, we're starting to get a little crowded and cluttered. Like I've said before, I function so much better when things are in order and clean.

Anyway, I'm off to work on the cleaning. Hope you have a great evening!

Congratulations Jessica on getting to the gym! :cb: :cp: :bravo: :jig: :dance:

I'm so glad you enjoyed it and it put you in a better mood. Remember all of this for the next time that you should go to the gym. ;)

I just got back from the 'party'. It was nice and my coworker's family was great. It was an early evening but still good to get out. They light fires right on the river and there are people walking around everywhere. There is music and dancing on the streets. Of course there are also vendors selling yummy food but I did not get any. :D

The only bad part of the evening was that this kind of thing gets me thinking and I get melancholy. It was the perfect type of night to be with a loved one. :( I think you can fill in the rest (i.e. loneliness, fear of never having a family, etc.).

I'm going to get to bed early so I can run in the morning. I have to be there at 7am! Grrr...6 miles is the plan. Yikes!

Yeah again for Jessica. Sorry to repeat, but I am just so happy for you. Now both of you have cleaned so I guess it is my turn. Hopefully I'll do a little tomorrow and some grocery shopping. Finding the time and energy to make a good list will be the potential hold up.

FYI - I wear Champion sports bras too but I am not that big up top so I don't have too much trouble buying them (36D). I'm probably more like a C but with the extra weight the D fits better. Don't get me started on breast size though - it's a touchy subject for me.

Jessica - I think bf has some clue as today I told him flat out that I was not happy with our discussion. Mostly I think he is clueless though and thinks that everything is fine for now and we will just keep going. We probably would if I didn't say anything, but we all know that I'll go crazy if I don't open my mouth. I already know what I want to tell him next time - laying it on the line in a way.

mette - how did the project go?

What are you two doing tomorrow?

Ang

Hi guys!

Ang – I really hope you get to talk to your BF tomorrow; your situation seems completely intolerable right now. And keep up your courage! Try to remember how frustrated you really are when you’re talking to him – and then speak your mind! (You go girl!)

The bookshelf is in the process of becoming white – it used to be wood color. The whole point of painting it is that it will be easier to keep clean when it’s painted instead of untreated wood. And I’ve found that white is a good color when the room is small. I’m also going through my books and VHS tapes – and try to give away the things I don’t need/want anymore.

I would love to do your wardrobe next Ang, but I’m not really sure you’ll let me! :D I’m not very good at this – and it’s kind of hard to get the paint even…. Heh. Ah, well.

Good for you that you went out running! As for the shoes I got – I ended up with adidas, these: http://www.roadrunnersports.com/cgi-...odKey=RRADI743, except mine are blue (and therefore prettier!).
According to the test, I put my weight on the middle of the heel as I put my foot down, and you’re suppose to come down more on the outside of the heel. So these shoes give support and build up the inner side of the foot and heel – so that I’ll land correctly on my heel! And also, I’m over-pronating – but I don’t know what that is – it’s something about the arch of the foot needing support too. I think.
But anyhow. Let’s wait and see how it goes on Tuesday! :)

Jessica – it was so great to read your two posts! First the one where you felt lethargic and down – and then feeling so much better after you went to the gym! Like Ang says: something to remember next time you don’t want to go to the gym!

And bras – see! It *is* really important to measure properly! ;) Instead of a local plus size store, maybe you could look for a local lingerie store? You know the kind where they specialize in bras of all kinds. I know some of them are not really *cool* – and are the type where your grandmother probably would get her bras – but most of them really know about all kinds of breasts and what kind of support you’ll need. And you don’t find that in sports stores. Most of them will also carry sports bras, and I’ve found – like you did – that you don’t find that in plus size stores.

But Champion is a good brand and they have good bras. Still – I think it would be good if you went somewhere you could try different types on.

And I hear you about the crowded and cluttered – even if it’s only me living here. I want to get rid of all the stuff I don’t use or like anymore. It goes for clothes too, but I’m having a harder time letting go of my clothes that are getting too big. I think it’s my big “but what if I put the weight back on?” fear.
I just have to keep telling myself that 1) I’m not going to put it back on, and 2) even if I did I could buy new clothes. (The #2 is not really helpful since I hate to go shopping, especially when I’m big – and if I did get big again I want *these* clothes).
Hm. It doesn’t sound good, does it? It’s sort of a security blanket.

Ang – your night out in Providence sounds really nice, with the lights, river, people and music. Sorry you got sad though – it’s really saying a lot about the relationship you’re supposed to be in, doesn’t it? You have a boyfriend but you feel lonely, unloved and afraid you’ll never have a family. It's not good. And hope you're feeling better now.

Have great Sundays!

Hey guys!

I'm so irritated. I was very close to finishing my post to you and my PC froze up. Arg, I hate when that happens! Hopefully I remember everything I wrote! :mad:

Thank you both for your support with my exercising. It really does help and means a lot to me, since that's my weak point. :angel:

In all honesty, the "high" I got from the gym only lasted about two hours, and then I was down again. Sometimes I'm just like that for no particular reason. So, I just went to bed fairly early and figured, tomorrow's another day. I got up at 7 this morning, with the help of my cats hissing at each other right over my head, and hope to make the most of my Sunday. I'm thinking about having my "free day" with my food, per the BFL program. Mike's been wanting to go to "Uncle Herb's" for breakfast. It's this local, family owned restaurant that makes THE best pancakes ever. We used to eat breakfast there almost once a week. It will be harder than you think for me to "let go" with my food, since I've been so controlled. There are many logical reasons for it, and pancakes DO sound really good, so I'm going to make an effort today to eat whatever I want. Wish me luck. :p

Ang, your evening in Providence sounded beautiful. I can just imagine the water, bonfires, and music and how warm and lovely it must have been. I can relate to how it made you feel, though, considering your current relationship situation. Much like I felt at the recital about the little kids, the dull sadness of it all. Take these feelings into consideration as you prepare to talk with your bf. They are VERY important and need to be validated. Did you go out with your running group this morning? I can see how motivated you are when you exercise with a group! I would like to have a girlfriend to go to the gym with, but I also like the freedom of just doing my own thing and not having to worry about anyone else. Good luck with the grocery shopping. A list is VERY important, btw, so spend some time on it. I have saved some of my grocery lists, so I can post them, if it's helpful to you. Mind you, I always end up with too much food for the week, but it might be a good guide for what to look for at the store. A good peice of advice that I've seen about grocery shopping is to shop the perimeter of the store... that's where the "whole foods" are- meat, dairy, deli, produce, fresh bread... it helps you avoid all the processed crap in the heart of the store. And when you do need to go there, for spices, dry goods, sauces, that's where you commit to the list and only go down the isles you need to.

mette, I looked up lingerie places in the yellow pages. Not much of a selection around here. The closest one to me is a Hispanic store (the name is in Spanish), so I don't know how much luck I'd have there. Mexican owned stores in my neighborhood tend to be closed on Sundays, and chances are pretty slim that they will speak English. There's nothing wrong with that, but probably won't be a place for me to go. There are a couple about 20 minutes away from me, in Ventura, so I will call first to see if they carry sports bras. One of them is called "Aphrodite's" and also carries "leather and adult oriented toys..." Hm. Might not be the right kind of place either... :lol: lol I can relate to having trouble getting rid of your big clothes. It IS a security blanket, for sure. I bet your commitment to the process will be strenthened if you just donate that stuff and move on! I've been through that before, but unfortunately, I ended up needing all those clothes again when I put the weight back on. I'm now having a hard time cleaning out my "skinny" clothes, because I know I WILL need them again. :D Especially my "vintage" Levis, since they are hard to find and are expensive. I think that's a good security blanket, though. Are you really able to get rid of your books and tapes? Those are my two pack-rat areas, especially the books. Years ago, I worked at Barnes and Noble. You can just imagine how many books I have, and I've either read them and loved them, or plan on reading them and can't give them up! I have 2 big bookshelves, stacked 2 rows deep... I'm pretty sure it's a disorder. :dizzy: ha ha ha...

Anyway, I better post this thing before I lose it again. I hope you girls have a great Sunday. I'll check in with ya later! :)

P.S.: I measured yesterday and lost 1-1/2" from my waist and 1" from my theigh in addition to the 1-1/2" from my hips I reported before. :cb:

Jessica – congratulations on losing inches from your waist, thighs and hips! :cheer:
With this many pounds and inches gone, you must feel thinner? And see it?

Hope you’re having a great Sunday – and enjoy your food if you’re taking a free day. I’m sure it will be very good for your controlled eating to have some slack somewhere. This is one of the things I’ve been working on with my eating too – having just 2 modes: on or off, controlled or out of control. In that way I think the BFL thinking is really good – because you can experience eating what you normally only eat when you’re out of control, but while it’s part of the program, and what you’re supposed to do.

And I know you weren’t talking to me – but I’m all for posting of grocery lists! ;)

And the bras – heh – it could be interesting to work out in bras from the shop that carries "leather and adult oriented toys..."! But hopefully you’ll find a good store with sports bras.

As for getting rid of stuff. Yeah - I think I’m putting the clothes in storage for a couple of months. I’m doing it in steps. Now they’ve gone out of the closet and into storage. Next time they’ll go from storage to Goodwill.
I can totally understand that you’re not getting rid of your Levis! Of course you will need them again! :D
And yes, I’m trying to get rid of the tapes and books I never really liked or watched/read that much – tapes and books which I’ll probably not read/watch again. But – you know – it *is* hard!
(oooh – you worked at Barnes and Noble???? You lucky girl!!!) If collecting books is a disease, there sure are a lot of us that are inflicted! I’m really working hard to keep mine under control!

Let’s see. I have one question about protein bars – have either of you ever tried Optimum Nutrition Diet Protein Bar? 5 flavors. About 180 calories, no sugar, 19-20 grams of protein and 20 grams of carbs? They sound very good – I just wondered if anyone had tasted them, and if they taste good too.

OK. That’s all from me right now. How are your Sundays going?

Hi Mette,

Mike and I are back from breakfast and running some errands. We went to Mervyns and I bought this sports bra: http://www.championcatalog.com/cgi-b...fnbr=74708&V=B I have another just like it, but it's much smaller than this one. I can't wait to try it out tomorrow! Thanks again for the assistance.

Ok, think of this as more of an "authorized food" list, rather than a shopping list because like I said, I tend to buy WAY too much for one week and I'm putting stuff from multiple lists here. Some are dry goods that you can buy and just keep around in case you need it:

Dairy:
eggs
egg substitute
1% or nf milk
1/2 and 1/2 (for my coffee)
butter
"I can't believe it's not butter" spray
lf/nf cottage cheese
hard parmesean cheese
shredded lf cheese
nf plain yogurt
nf fruit flavored yogurt
string cheese
nf cream cheese
crumbled blue cheese
hummus

Meat/poultry:
fresh salmon
smoked salmon
lean ground beef
ground turkey breast
deli style sliced turkey
deli style sliced roast beef
steak
chicken breasts
turkey bacon
tuna (in water, pouches are best)
shrimp

Produce:
garlic
white and red onions
tomatoes
bell peppers, red and green
yellow squash
eggplant
string beans
broccoli
fresh and frozen spinach
green onion
cucumber
carrots
zucchini
cabbage
mushrooms
apples
oranges
bananas
frozen berries
cantaloupe
potatoes
sweet potatoes

Misc/dry goods:
low carb tomato sauce
lite soy sauce
canned olives
olive oil
canola oil
Pam cooking spray
red wine vinegar
rice vinegar
Splenda
garlic powder
bacon bits
iced tea mix/bags
natural peanut butter
ww tortillas and/or pitas
ww bread
ww english muffins
egg noodles (No Yolk)
ww pasta
rolled or steel cut oats oatmeal
high fiber cereal
sf/ff Jello pudding mix
protein powder

Granted, a lot of this is if you're willing and able to cook lunch and dinner. I know it seems a bit extensive. These are things that typically show up on my grocery list on a regular basis, so my fridge tends to be stocked with about 1/2 of it at all times. It's nice to be surrounded by wonderful food, then I can't help but eat healthy, even if I were to find myself grazing in the fridge.

So are you guys ready to start the weightlifting challenge this week? I'm doing legs tomorrow. My hope is to get up early before work and go. We'll see how early I get to bed tonight. I want us all to vow to do our very best this week, follow our plans exactly, to see if we can do it. That will give us dedication and confidence to tackle next week, and so on.

Talk to you later!

another weekend done
 

Hi Ladies - one day and I'm so far behind in reading posts. :dizzy:

mette - I am sure your bookcase is looking great. I think cleaning up is a great thing too. Sometimes when we organize our stuff it helps us focus in our lives. I think this works in the opposite direction too though, at least for me so I end up spending a lot of time picking up after myself. :lol:

Good luck with the shoes, mette. I understand that stuff if you really want to know what pronation is and all. That is part of what I do for a living, analyze gait. :) Of course, the bottomline is that you are comfortable, regardless of what they say about your gait style.

Jessica - I'm sorry your high only lasted for 2 hours, but at least you had the 2 hours. Try to see the positive side of it. Maybe there will be a cumulative effect as you go more often to workout the high will last longer. :) Congratulations on the inches lost. You deserve it. :dancer: :cheer:

I did made it out with my running club this morning. When my alarm went off I jumped out of bed and refused to think about what I was doing. I knew if I did I would go back to bed. I was so tired and don't like getting up before 7am on a Sunday. I ran/walked 6.25 miles and then came home and took a nap. I went to the farm to see Craig, he didn't show so I came home. It started to rain and I don't have the motivation to get wet and work hard for him these days. I went and watched a movie instead and then went to the market. Jessica - I usually buy most stuff in the produce section. I didn't have a great list today but thank you for all of the great info so I can keep working on my list. You gave me exactly what I needed. I think I stock up on staples to keep in the house and just add a little bit each week. I never really bought the necessities when I moved in to the house. I have found that I have a little more food in the house lately, which I guess is good. I did let myself get hungry and emotions got the best of me and I bought some bad foods. I ate part of them when I got home and then through the rest of it out. I figured one day of crappy eating was enough. If I throw it out than I can't eat it tomorrow. I know I do this everyday, but tomorrow is another day and a new beginning. Focusing on the exercise and just trying not to beat myself up about the eating too much. I did buy enough stuff to have my cereal for breakfast (and bought waffles for a treat) and the lunch I was telling you about. We'll see how that goes this week.

Sorry mette but never tried the protein bars you mentioned. I am still trying to find a good protein powder and flax seed meal to add to my diet. I think I am going to have to go to the health food store. I bought two protein bars that were low carb. I think they are the Atkins bars - too lazy to go Downstairs and check. They were on sale so I decided to give them a whirl. They are about 200 cals which doesn't make me happy if I eat them as a snack. Should I be worrying about that at all? I was thinking at about 4pm so I'm not so hungry for dinner. mette - where did you see your bars? Someone recommended the Zone bars - have either of you tried those?

I promise to do my best with the weights. I am going to try the upper body tomorrow because it seems like it should be easier and more familiar. I want to start as easy as possible. I also hope to run or bike after work. I really want to try and get some activity in every day and something structured at least 4 to 5 times a week (this counts extensive gardening or cleaning). :D

Jessica - do you feel better about your Sunday as opposed to your Saturday? How do you feel about eating whatever you wanted? Did you actually let yourself indulge a little?

mette - did you finish your painting project?

Goodnight!

Hi there!

Not only did I let myself indulge a little, I had several of my favorites today! Breakfast was pancakes, hash browns, corned beef hash and eggs. Mind you, I only ate a very small portion of each of these, because I just can't binge eat like I used to. My stomach has adjusted to small portions, I think. Is that possible? Lunch was a Nestle Crunch ice cream bar at about 4 p.m. while I had my car washed. Dinner was a chili cheese hot dog, a chocolate malt and a couple of onion rings. I never really felt "sick" but my stiff neck and plugged ears and stuffy nose that I used to get all the time came back today. Almost like I'm starting to get the flu. I haven't felt like that since I started my weight loss. Could that be caused by what I ate? Hmmm...

Ang, good for you with the shopping. And the fact that you thew the "bad food" away, well that just shows your maturity and dedication to what you're trying to accomplish here. I'm also so glad you went running. You should be very proud of yourself! That's what I'll do tomorrow morning- get up and don't think about it. Just do it. (insert Nike logo here... ha ha ha...)

I did feel much better about my day today. We were out of the house by 9:45 a.m., had our big breakfast, went shopping and came home. Mike and I took about an hour nap this afternoon (the food as well, I think) and then I got my car washed, visited with my grandparents for about an hour, and with my parents for an hour as well. I did a lot that I was hoping to accomplish this weekend. I didn't make it grocery shopping but I don't have much to get so I'll probably go after work tomorrow.

mette: I also over-pronate. I think it usually happens to people with high arches. I blame mine on my knee injury and not going to rehab for it. I think I compensated and now I just walk/run that way. Might also be a cause of my foot pain. Let us know how the new shoes work out.

I've never tried any of the meal bars mentioned. "Pure Protein" is a good one taste wise, and has like 35 g of protein. Lots of sugar though. I also have "Carb solutions" which taste pretty awful, but I bought a whole box so I'm making myself get used to them. Sorry I can't give more advice on the subject.

I'm going to try to get to bed by 9 p.m. tonight, so I'll be rested enough to get up and go lift weights before work, so I'm going to wrap it up. Good luck to both of you for this week and have a great Monday!

So. I’ve lost another pound *and* I’m down in the one-eighties! Yey!

Jessica – the bra looks great! Eagerly awaiting report on how it affects your workout… ;)
Your food list looks very impressive – some good ideas I picked up: I think I’ll try some blue cheese and see if I like it (I have tried it before and not liked it). And some vegetables I’m not usually buying (squash, zucchini, eggplant – what do you use them for? Stews and casseroles mostly?). And olives – black olives for salads! Haven’t had those in a while either. Thanks for good ideas.

And yes – I’m ready for the weightlifting challenge! I’m doing my full-body program at home for Monday. Then gym Wednesday and Friday – which I’ll know more about later. Best of luck on getting up and going to the gym before work, Jessica!

Ang – I do want to know what pronation is! It has something to do with the arch of the foot, right?
Congratulations on getting out running in the morning! (And OMG, I’m dead impressed that you actually run 6.25 miles!) That is so great!

I asked about the protein bars in the “ladies who lift” forum too – but nobody seems to have heard about them. I too am looking for snacks that are protein based – all the things I get cravings for are sweet and fat stuff – so I thought a bar I really liked would be good.
Is 200 calories much for a snack? I don’t think so, and I think they would be a good afternoon snack to keep you from getting too hungry. I haven’t tried the Zone or the Atkins bars. Not the Pure Protein or Carb Solution bars either – and I’m looking for one without the sugar. I think I’ll try the ON Diet Protein bars, and then tell you guys about it later… ;)
I’ve found that it’s always good to learn of other peoples favorites when trying out something you know nothing about!

As for my paint project – I actually ran out of paint, and have to get some more and continue Monday. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. Do you know why? I’m on vacation!!! :lol:

Jessica – your Sunday eating sounds very yummy! And I too would think you’ve adjusted to smaller portions. How weird that you felt a little ‘sick’ – do you still connect it to what you ate? Do you think you’re allergic to any of the things you ate Sunday?

Ah well. Have a good Monday everybody!

Morning gals!

:jig: :cb: :dancer: Yay, Mette! One more pound down!!!! Woo Hoo!!!! :dancer: :cb: :jig: :bravo:

It's 5:15 a.m. and I'm up having my cup of coffee, getting ready to head to the gym. It will be interesting to see if I have more or less energy today after working out this morning. Heck, I'm just proud of myself that I'm actually UP this early! It helped that the cat was bugging again this morning and Mike got up at about a quarter to 5. His back was bothering him too and couldn't sleep. So, everyone's up and milling about!

mette: I actually steam, saute or roast the zucchini and squash, and the eggplant can be baked in the oven. I have a couple of recipes, one with eggplant, squash and tomatoes kind of covered in cheese and baked, the other is a "cabbage lasagna" that I've made before (where you use cabbage leaves instead of pasta) and I thought sliced eggplant would do nicely instead. I'll let you know if I try it. The zucchini and squash are really good sauted in a little olive oil, salt, pepper, with sliced onions. Yum... The blue cheese I sprinkle on salads to give them more of a kick, because oil and vinegar dressing gets a little boring.

My stomach is pretty unhappy this morning because of all the crap I ate yesterday. I think that's a good sign though and look forward to getting back to my normal eating today. The food I ate must have contributed to my achy "flu" feeling. I'd gotten plenty of sleep and don't feel like that this morning. Maybe it was all the white flour or the sugar? Hard to say. Maybe my next free day I will cut out one of those and see what happens. Do a little experiment on myself to narrow it down. I know the ice cream bar I hate had all kinds of partially hydrogenated this and that, and coconut oil, all of which is really bad for you. It sure tasted good though! ha ha...

I, too, am REALLY impressed that Ang ran/walked over 6 miles! You guys are both doing so great!! I'm so proud to be a part of this group!

I know it seems a little silly, but I started an online web journal (a "blog") where I'm going to write daily, keep track of my workouts and menus, and generally just write freely and rant about life and my weightloss. If you want to check it out, the link is: http://www.motivatedslacker.blogspot.com
It's a good place for me to explore all of my "issues" regarding this process, and maybe help someone on their journey too. Let me know if you check it out. I don't know if anyone will ever read it, but it's more for me anyway.

Ok, time to get off my butt and get to the gym. I hope you ladies have a wonderful Monday!

I’ll just be quick – I’m on my way out. First: Jessica you’re amazing! Getting up at 5:15 to go to the gym!!! Wow! How was it? Did you like working out that early in the morning?

When you’re sautéing vegetables like zucchini and squash – what do you actually do? (Yes, I really am that ignorant when it comes to cooking! :D) It has obviously something to do with olive oil. Can you explain the process for me?

Sorry your stomach still feels like crap, did it get better? Experimenting to finding out exactly what caused it sounds very smart.
And I read your blog! How clever of you! I’ve both bookmarked it and written a comment. It looks really good Jessica, and so does your photo! I’m sure it’ll be a good place for exploring the process. Sounds like a good idea.

OK. I’m off. Where are you today, Ang?

Hey guys, just peeking in! (Whoa, I almost mispelled that as I had forgot the k, that would have been embarrasing!) Anyway, Jessica told me to come check ya out, since I've been chatting it up with her and Ang. :P So here I am. Work is almost over and I need to get out of here (crazy bad day, boss is out in hawaii, missing a rep and our office manager didn't show) but I promise to check in and stuff later. (And actually read through all the posts too... >.<)

Edit: Ok back now. Really tired I think from the work stress. But hey! This sports bra topic has me piqued! I can never find a good one. Though, I also strongly dislike underwire, I can't wear it at all because it rests on my ribs so uncomfortably. Anyway. :p

I got new shoes, which are/were going to be for everyday normal wear and use, but since they running shoes, I guess I can do that too! I hope this link works... er, and it didn't. Anyway they are New Balance 991 -grey in color, super comfy. I haven't tried running yet though, I am so scared!!

I did take an 8mile bike ride on Sunday though, through a forest preserve that was all marshlands and prairie and had a lot of elevation changes. Oof! My bottom is mad at me. My muscles don't hurt, but my hmm, butt bones do?

So how was getting up early to exercise? I am so tempted to get up and try running tomorrow, but I just don't have faith in myself to pull myself out of bed. I love sleeping almost as much as I love food!

Sounds like you ladies are doing great on a lot of things, and it's really encouraging to me! Keep up the great work on everything. I am gonna go pass out now... because I keep forgetting what I was just about to write haha.

-Renee

Hi Everyone,

Sorry I was gone today but with my afternoons taken up by my experiment the morning seems to fly by and I stilll never get anything done it seems. Unfortunately I don't get up early enough to e-mail in the morning so if I don't have time at work you miss me (and I miss you). ;)

Gotta get to bed but want to tell you both that you are doing great and I will catch up as best I can tomorrow. I do want to read your blog Jessica. Also, I'd love to hear anything about cooking too as I am pretty ignorant also.

Jessica - how was the workout? I am glad you were able to enjoy your day of eating. It is amazing how the food we eat affects us though. I am just starting to put things together about the food I eat and how it makes me feel physically afterwards. My problem is trying to remember the feeling before I start eating the 'bad stuff'.

Today wasn't a bad day for eating. I had my breakfast and lunch as planned (yogurt tasted terrible and did not bring enough chicken but...), protein bar at 4:30ish and then a salad for dinner with one slice of bread with a little natural pb. This was a good eating day for me.

Congratulations mette on losing another pound!!!! You are so lucky that you are on vacation. Were you able to finish painting today? I had to buy more paint when I painted my office too. It is amazing how much paint wood can soak up.

Just a note - I put some squash out yesterday as a fluke because there were a lot getting too big on the plants and so I picked them. Soemone actually came by and bought them! There were more today (squash grow really fast) so I picked them too and put them out. Who knows if they'll sell too but it was kind of neat to have decided to pick on my own and price them and everything. The ones I picked today were a little smaller (people don't know that that is really better though) so I dropped the price. I don't get the money so what do I care. I just like the feeling when they sell.

Glad to see you lilwolfe. I was wondering where you had gone.

Have a good night. Ang

Hi girls!

Hope everyone had a good Monday. I am soooo tired! Definitely not used to waking up at 5 a.m., but it was worth it. Felt really good to know I got my exercising done for the day first thing. Work was a bear as well. One of our permit techs (that's my position) is on vacation for two weeks, and for some reason, more than half our staff was gone today, either vacation or out sick. So needless to say, it was a trying day. No screamers though, so I was thankful for that!

Ang, so nice to know everything's ok. Your eating looked really great! You should feel VERY good about that. Sorry work was so busy. Seems to be something in the air...

Hi Renee! Thanks for stopping by. Ladies, Renee started posting about a week or two ago. She's just starting this whole weight loss thing and is working on finding some focus for her eating and exercising. I thought you girls might be just the ticket to support her, since you're just so great yourselves!

mette: thank you so much for visiting my blog and making the very first comment! I really appreciated the note and the fact that you read it. I'm going to try to make an entry every day, so there will always be something new to read. I love writing, so I'll keep it as entertaining as possible.

Working out early was great for a couple of different reasons. I DID have more energy at work for the first few hours, but the intense day I had just drained it all away. Also, there is virtually NO ONE at my gym before 7 a.m. I had the women's section all to myself. It was great. Also, like I mentioned, it was nice to feel like I'd already accomplished something, and didn't have the gym looming over my head all day like, one more thing I have to do today. I'm going to do my best to keep it up this week and see how it works out. I have a late meeting Thursday night, so that might make for a very long day.

The way I saute my veggies is to put about a tbsp. of olive oil in a large skillet and let it warm up for just a minute (don't let it get too hot- it will burn and the oil will splatter when you add the veggies). Then just add whatever veggies, maybe onions, zucchini and yellow squash, cubed, to the oil. Stirring occassionally, let the onions begin to brown slightly. Some garlic, salt and pepper would be a nice touch too. Let me know if you try it!

Anyway, I'm going to start getting ready for bed... Yawn! Talk to you all in the morning!

Good morning all!

Jessica - good job again on getting up early to workout. I wish I could do that. How did your new bra work out? Neat blog. You are very couragous to go through this journey and to be willing to post for others to see. Everyday I take a little inspiration from you (and others here). I hope it helps you with your exploration. :)

mette - pronation has to do with how you put your foot down on the ground and then which way it rotates. Some rotation is necessary when walking but if you over pronate you are rotating too far towards your body. Your foot continues to rotate and you put more pressure on your arch (inside of foot) and the outside of your foot 'comes up'. It doesn't actually lift off the ground but you do put less weight on it (not evenly distributed weight over the foot). OK, describing this in words isn't as easy as I thought. Did this make sense? You should have extra support around the arch from your shoes.

Renee - you snuck in your edits. :lol: I almost missed them since I had posted after you. I think it's great that you got the New Balance shoes. I wouldn't recommend that you wear them around for everyday use though if you are going to run in them. Congratulations on the bike ride. Was it off road using a mountain bike? I love to bike and wish I made time to do it more often. What scares you about running? Maybe we can help ease your mind.

Have a great Tuesday. Ang

Good morning!

Well, I'm sorry to say, but I was so tired from yesterday I didn't get up early this morning. No work out. Since my new cardio workout is only 20 minutes, I'm thinking I can go walking/running after work. Then I don't have the drive time to the gym and I get in my exercise. There's actually a dirt track very close to my house, I just remembered I used to run there. Maybe I'll head there, since pavement isn't very forgiving. Since the weightlifting takes about 45 minutes, I will make every effort to get up tomorrow and go before work. My legs are so sore from lifting yesterday! I'm waddling around like a penguin. I'll let you all know how I do tonight.

Mette: Are you meeting with your trainer today? Did you buy your cute gym clothes? I hope it goes really well for you.

Ang: You're just as brave as I am. You're posting here, and that's probably viewed by more people than my journal! I'm glad I can help inspire you, though. You guys certainly motivate me every day. Since I only did lifting yesterday, I didn't get to fully test out the bra. But it was very comfortable and actually fit. I didn't have big red marks on my back when I got home, like I do from my others that are too small.

Renee, I have New Balance shoes, too. I really like them, although with the recent discussion about the shelf life of running shoes, I should probably look into getting a new pair. I had Nike's before these, and they just weren't the right shoes for my walking and running style. The sports bra I got was a Champion brand, I think I posted a link to it to mette earlier in our thread. When I do my cardio tonight I'll have a better idea of how effective it is.

I feel a little bad about breaking my promise to myself about getting up early, but, exhausted is exhausted, and I still need to be flexible with myself as I adjust to all these new routines in my life. I hope we all have a good day today and stay true to ourselves!

*yaaawn -stretch* Yeah, there is no way I could ever get up early to exercise or anything hehe. Hit snooze as it was, and I was even in bed early - course I had some funky weird dreams about being a chick with a sword, and then timewarped to some rave club. Odd.

So hurried out of the house, running late and still dreary-groggy. I was naughty and ran through the McDonalds drive through for a #8 (breakfast burritos) but at least passed the hashbrown off to a coworker. (They make me sick.) I -might- go skating at lunch, but if the humidity continues to climb like it is now, I doubt it. It's just so sticky/clammy out! (Hot too)

For lunch I am planning to be good and eat my sandwich, and stringcheese. Then have my fruit as my afternoon snack. I found this really great bread (if you are a picky bread person) It's BrownBerrys Carb Counting multigrain. It is soft and sweet!! Which is just great for me because I can't stand hard, bitter bread. So that, with some fat free mayo, fat free bologna and fat free cheese. Voila. A nice little pick me up.

So how come it's not a good idea to use my everyday shoes as running shoes as well? I am pretty broke after buying them and don't think I can afford to get a second pair for a while. >.< (They cost $130 - that was more than I've paid in the last two years TOTAL for shoes haha.) And as to why I am scared of running, well, I just get out of breath SO fast when I jog, that I think I will get really upset about it. I don't know if I could even jog for 60 seconds without having to stop!!

The bike ride was on a mountain bike, but not really 'off road' - it was on a gravel trail (which is at least more work than pavement) and it had a lot of squiggles, turns and elevation changes. And, well, biking around 180 lbs is a lot more work than I remember biking 130 lbs around being - hee.

I am skipping dinner at home tonight, so I am thinking that I will eat my Slimfast Mac-n-Cheese before leaving work. Then snack on something healthy later. Maybe an angel food cupcake with some berries on it.

Check in with you ladies later! And thanks again for the invite here. :)

Jessica - don't fall into the same trap that got you last time you got really into exercising. You can't just jump in with both feet. You also don't want to injure yourself. Take it slow and maybe have a goal of going to the gym before work 2 or 3 days a week for a couple of weeks (or forever if that's what works). I think going to the dirt track sounds like a great idea. It's good to mix things up also. Please don't feel bad about not getting up this morning. You did awesome yesterday and you'll do it again. Don't be so hard on yourself - you are only human after all. :D

Renee - your bike ride sounds great. I can't do the really hard mountain biking either. It's nice to get off road sometimes though. I feel safer on the road when I have to be by myself though.

The reason why I don't suggest that you wear your running shoes all the time is because they are so expensive. Depending on how much you run, you can replace the runners every 6 months (I don't remember the mileage amount but when they wear out you'll know it and will need new ones to prevent injury - just ask mette :) ) - at this time you can demote them to everyday shoes. If you wear them all the time they will wear out even faster and thus the need to replace them comes more quickly. You can buy almost anything (cheap) to wear everyday just around. Just my two cents though. :dizzy:

Last running comment for now - take it really slowly. If you don't think you can run 60 seconds then go with the routine of running 30 seconds at a time. You need to get some positive reinforcement so go beneath what you expect by a little as you begin. Do you have a routine? You can try something like this:

walk 10 minutes
run 30 seconds then walk 2 minutes (repeat 4 times)
walk 10 minutes

I'm happy to give as much or as little advice on this as you want. Just tell me to shut up if I get into it too much. :o

Ang

Oy. Suddenly there were *many* new posts. Sorry about that. Nice weather here and I’m on vacation and ditching the computer. ;)

Renee – hi and welcome! Looks like you’re going to fit right in here!
As for running – I jog for about 30 minutes two mornings of the week – and I started off with mostly walking and then gradually jogged more and more. I still walk some parts of my route. I start off with a (brisk) walk to the park, and then start jogging there.
Do you have any good places to run? Ang’s plan for starting looks very good.

Ang – glad to hear you had a good eating day yesterday! And selling your squash! How great is that! :cp:
Thanks for the information about pronation – it sounds about right when you say it, it was something like that the guy in the store said too. The shoes I bought had both extra support around the arch – like you’re saying. And also more support on the inner side of the heel – when I first put the shoe on it felt a bit weird. As if the inside of the foot was build up and my foot was tilting outward a little – if that makes sense.
But I had my first jog this morning, and even if I’ll have to get used to the shoes (they still feel a bit different, but not in a bad way or anything – just different) – it was a really excellent jog! And I had absolutely no pain anywhere! The weather was nice, the park looked good, the grass was newly cut and smelled sweet, the birds were singing, etc etc. And I was just so happy that I felt good and thought about how I (hopefully) can continue jogging for a long time! Very good start on my day! :D

Jessica – understandable that you were tired at work after your early morning weightlifting (and getting up at 5)! And yes, it sounds really nice that the gym was empty. But was your plan to get up at 5 every day this week? In that case I totally agree with Ang: it might be better to try with just a couple of early mornings a week first, and see how it goes. Maybe early mornings for the weightlifting and doing the cardio on the afternoon, just like you’re saying. And no wonder you are sore today if you lifted weights for 45 minutes yesterday. Most impressive! :cp:
About your blog – I really liked it, and I am looking forward to continue reading it. The sautéing sounds like something I would enjoy – spicy vegetables and oil. I’ll try and let you know.

Now. What else is new? I finished up with the painting and the shelves are now dry, and I'm sorting through my books to see which I'll keep. But today I ditched the whole organizing thing and went out to enjoy the nice weather in the park instead. :p

But I went to the gym and met with the instructor. He was very nice. I told him what I was after and he made up a program for me for 3 times a week. I’m going to continue to lift weights Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I’ll have one day with lower body, one day with upper body and one day with a combination. We talked about doing a full 3 day split, but he said that if I'm only exercising a muscle once a week – I would also have to exercise it very hard to get stronger. So maybe I'll see how this goes, and try that later.
I will do this program for 3 months, and then we’ll get together again and make a new one. It all seems very good to me.
I’m really psyched to start! Tomorrow I will do lower body. Yey!

And yes, I got some cute clothes. I’ve got a couple of trousers, one grey and one light blue (no black or marine in sight!) and a couple of sweaters and T-shirts. And everything *fit*. I bought L, because I can actually wear L – I don’t have to wear XL or XXL, which I’ve been known to buy just for the comfort!

I’ll stop now. Talk to you guys later. Have a nice Tuesday.

Hi ladies,

Just home for lunch and checking in. Yeah, I was hoping to stick to an early morning routine this week, but Ang and Mette, I think you're right. It's that all or nothing mentality that burned me out before, so I'll take it easy on myself. Still planning on going to the track tonight for my cardio. I'll have some time after work tomorrow to do my upper-body weights, so I'll go easy on the "gung-ho!" attitude of pushing myself too hard.

Mette, your meeting with your instructor sounds like it went really well! I'm excited for you and can't wait to hear about how your new work-out routine goes. The weights yesterday took about 1/2 hour, and then I did lots of stretching afterwords, since one of my goals is to work on my flexibility too. It works out to about 45 minutes. The upper body takes slightly longer for me, since there are more specific muscles to work. I really enjoy it though, so it doesn't feel like work to me. You sound like you're having such a nice vacation. Maybe I need to take some time off, just stay home and get things done that I need to do, have a little "me" time. A little relaxation sounds really good about now!

Ang, thank you for the supportive words, it really helps me put things in perspective. I think your knowledge of all-things-running will be really useful to all of us and I encourage you to give us your advice whenever you want to give it! I will probably do a combination of walking/running at the track tonight but won't push it because I get pretty winded too and I need to be careful with my knees, too.

Renee, your menu for today doesn't sound that bad. Good for you. Do you have plans after work that will keep you from eating dinner? I can also relate to loving to sleep! I'm becoming much more of a morning person, but it does take some willpower on some days to not sleep in (especially weekends). Just do what feels comfortable and work around your schedule. You're doing great.

Today has been a MUCH better day than yesterday. I'm not feeling nearly as stressed out, which is a relief. Most of our staff is back, so I've been able to focus on MY job, not worry about doing everyone else's job too. Whew! Anyway, I'll check in tonight if I have a chance.

Hi!

Jessica – this ‘gung ho!’ thing of pressing yourself too hard? It’s really one of the most difficult things for me too. See my first challenge under.
Good to hear work is better and less stressful. And I really recommend some free time at home! ;)

I have been thinking about the gym a lot lately. About what I’m looking forward to, and what I’m dreading. There are some things about that place that I have to confront – some obstacles I will have to deal with.

The first challenge is my “all or nothing” drive – what Jessica calls “gung-ho!” attitude. According to my program I’m not going to add pounds on the weights I’m lifting for the first 4 weeks. The first 4 weeks will be my introduction period, where I’ll learn how to do the exercises properly (with good form!) and my body will adapt to this way of exercising. I’m not doing many exercises each time (5), and with 12 minutes cardio warm-up and 10 minutes ab crunches & stretching after, I’m done in maybe 45-50 minutes total.
And this sounds very reasonable, doesn’t it? Start slowly, get in to the rhythm, see how it feels - - -
But my drive when I’m at the gym? To increase weight, to increase exercises, to increase time – to spend 2 hours there and be completely exhausted when I leave.
So my first challenge is to be patient. It’s the one thing that I know works for me: slowly and surely. I know it works for me when it comes to eating and losing weight, now I have to learn that it also works for me in the gym.

The second challenge is the mirrors. *sigh* I’m frickin’ EVERYWHERE in that room! No matter where I look: there I am!
I have to get used to the mirrors. I have to get used to looking at myself in the mirror in a room full of guys and *not be embarrassed* that I’m looking at myself, and that others can see that I’m looking at myself. I have no idea why this is so embarrassing though – is it that I don’t want to appear vain? Anyway, it’s not an option at the gym not to look at myself in the mirrors – so I have to get over that one.

The third challenge is the guys lifting weights there. For some reason it’s always frightening for me to join groups of people I don’t know when I’m not welcomed with open arms, especially when I’m new to what’s being done in the group, it means that I don’t know the rules and norms, and being a newbie sucks.
This goes for the weightlifting room at the gym! They’re really not the most inviting and welcoming bunch on first sight – actually they look a bit scary, if I’m completely honest.
Now. I know that they’re probably nice guys, and that – given time – I’ll get to know some of them, get help if I ask and have people there to talk with too.
It’s just that I have to get through the first period of social anxiety and ineptness first! So that’s my third challenge of going to the gym.

I actually feel much better about all three now that I’ve written them down! :lol:

So, how are you doing today?

Mette,

That was a really great post; thank you so much for sharing your fears about the gym. I think we've all experienced/are going through similar feelings of insecurity not only at the gym, but in all areas of this process. In fact, when I first started buying healthy food at the grocery store, I had this feeling that the clerk would think I was a poor fat girl probably trying to lose weight AGAIN and would feel sorry for me when she rang up my groceries. How silly is that? Now, I'm proud of the fact that most of the clerks have to look up my produce in a book, because I buy veggies that most people don't buy and they don't know what/how much they are. It's a matter of getting comfortable with yourself, knowing without a doubt that what you're doing is what you planned to do and you're doing everything properly, and focusing on and gaining strength from that.

As far as being intimidated by the guys. I'm still going through that now, which is why I quarentine myself in the women's only section. But you know what? I think as part of my Pact with you, I will branch out into the main gym the next time I lift weights. They have better equipment and more room to work in, so why should I deprive myself out of fear or embarrasment?

To be honest, I know that the "big guys" out there may be intimidating, but there are several issues that might ease your fears: 1) Most of them REALLY are so self-absorbed, they really won't pay much attention to you; 2) Form is everything, like Krista says. If you go in there and use proper form and have a plan for your routine, you will earn their respect and they will be more impressed by you than critical. You may even get some compliments! 3) You will eventually become "the cool girl" when you become a regular and start showing progress. Again, you will not only respect yourself for the progress you've made, I think you'll make some lifting buddies, too.

How do we get out of the trap of killing ourselves at the gym? You and I are very similar in that way- 110% or nothing. There has to be a "happy medium" somewhere, where we push ourselves just past the level of comfort but don't work so hard it either becomes an unpleasant experience or we end up injured. Did your trainer have a reason for having you not increase your weight for 4 weeks? Is it to focus on your form? I guess that does make sense, since that's so important. Let me know if you come up with some good "scripts" to tell yourself while you're working out to keep yourself from going overboard. I'm still struggling with that. At least you have a solid routine to work with. Pretend that routine is like a prescription from your doctor that has to be followed to a "T"; maybe that will keep you focused.

And the mirrors. Yes, those are unavoidable, aren't they??! I think we've been conditioned, as women and being overweight, to not be vain, and to disdain our own image. Perhaps as you start out, you can think about it in more scientific terms, that you must be able to see your "form" to make sure you are performing the exercises right so you don't hurt yourself, not actually looking at you. It sounds silly, but as you start losing weight and gaining muscle, I promise, you will LOVE watching those muscles flex and seeing how far you've come!

Just know that through it all, we'll be here to support you and give advice when you need it. You are making so much progress, and exploring all of these feelings will give you even more of a edge in the gym. I know you'll do great!

With that said, I opted to do my grocery shopping last night instead of going to the track. Mike had to leave for work at 11 p.m. last night and won't be back until Friday night/Saturday morning, so I wanted to spend some time with him. And I noticed my eating the last two days was less than perfect, since I've been out of certain things I needed for my menu. I hate to keep saying I'm going to do something and then not do it, but I'm still trying to adjust and use my time the best way I can. My intention is to do some form of exercise tonight, but I want to just DO IT today instead of talk about it. I'll let you know if I make it.

I have to get ready for work, so I'll talk to you guys later. Thanks again for your post, Mette, and I hope I helped a little.

Have a great Wednesday, everyone!