Okay, I just have to post because I am proud of myself: I did my treadmill workout today!!! And I went longer, faster, and with more incline that I thought I would be able to!!! Woooooo!!! I know, I know, people exercise every darn minute, and I don't need to post every single time I do some little thing, but I'm all excited because, well, exercising is a big deal to me. I exercised two whole times so far this week! Wheeeee! I'm on a roll!

Girlie: I know what you mean about crossing your legs! I am sick of crossing like a boy. Another thing I'm gonna do when I get to 199: Get a professional massage and not be embarrased!

Feb Goals

do some form of exercise every day minimum 15 min
no cheese except Wed or Thurs eve
be true to myself -eg. Listen to my bodies needs, don’t get caught up in my head and let the body/ food intake go, deal with issues and let them go
eat 5-10 fruits and veg every day
lean meat 4 X’s a week


Wishes/Dreams

This is hard. been thinking for 2 days.I am living my childhood dream in every conceivable way.

to be a better Mom
keep on top of the mess in the house
renos to be completed

Great day today.

Grandma, and my Dad at her 95th Birthday!

hello everyone!
you all sound so upbeat and positive i have a big smile on my face while typing this!! this week is flying by!! it has been great! work has even been bearable!

spores- post away girl!! good for you with the treadmill!!! i know how you feel really!! i am a huge exercise hater and really just recently started doing it regularly. it was always at the bottom of my list and i am slowly moving up to the top of things i HAVE to do just for ME. your exercise goal is awesome! 2 times a week when you are used to no times is fantastic! it is so important to make small goals that you know you can manage. it is really easy to say "i'm going to get on the treadmill and do 5 miles everyday this week" but if that isn't something you can realistically do then at the end of the week you'll just feel bad about it. know what i mean? small realistic goals are so important!! those are the things i reward myself for. as far as non food rewards go they can be anything. some weeks i get myself a fresh new notebook and fun pen for journaling, some weeks i get a new book, a magazine, a good smelling soap or lotion. anything to "treat" myself. i reward myself for all the successes i have, even if i had a terrible week i find some reward for myself to get back on track. this is so much about just taking care of ourselves. i do something good for myself everyday also, even if it is as simple as spending a few extra minutes laying in the tub, or putting lotion on before i go to bed i find one good thing at least to do just for me. many of these things might be "routine" for some but i let myself go several years ago and now i am slowly getting myself back and treating myself like i treat others. trying to be kind, and patient, and loving to me! all your other goals sound right on target too. good for you!!! keep up the great work!! i see great things happening for all of us as we stumble across the 199 line!!

girlie- good for you going to the gym it is so hard to get up some days! thank you for your support! it means so much to me. you will totally be running by summer girl!! take it slow and add little bits at a time. i want to be running by then too. i ran down the driveway the other day just playing around with DH and he said "you know i don't think i've ever seen you run like that before" little comments like that make me want to do MORE MORE MORE. keep up the great work!! i love goldfish pretzels, crackers etc too. really good snack.

mychoice- i am so happy i inspired you!! that is fantastic the 2.75 in 45mins keep it up!!! i would love to see you in my class someday!! i am so excited about it. i will keep you posted. thank you so much for your support!!! good luck at your weigh in!!

holly- great goals!! you can do it!! i really like the "be true to yourself" one that can be such a challenge sometimes! take care of yourself!! grandma looks so happy! nice pic.

hope you all have a great evening!! be good to yourselves!!

Holly: Your goals sound great. And your wishes too! How many of us can say we are currently living our dreams? I'm gonna think on that one. Living my dreams. How do you do it?

Jodi: Thanks for the enouragement! I tend to be a perfectionist, so I set really high goals and then fail and go back to square one. Or, worse, I set reasonable goals, meet them, and decide that the success doesn't really count because it wasn't hard enough. Sheesh, how we sabatoge ourselves! I like your rewards, especially those little things like putting on lotion. We do let our bodies just become maintenance and work. How wonerful to treat caring for yourself as a treat. I am going to think of some non-food, non-monetary (ugh, trying to break compulsive eathing and spending at the same time is hard!) rewards. Today the nice thing I did for myself was eat an asian pear while reading the new Poetry magazine. My poor subscription just stacks up under all the school-related stuff I HAVE to read, but not today! Also watched a movie tonight, and found that I didn't actually need snacks during. I think I enjoyed it more without the distraction of food!

Tomorrow's a bit of a challenging day. I have a busy late morning/afternoon/evening, so I want to do my treadmill in the morning after breakfast. So far I've been doing it when I get home from school and I'm tired and just want to clear my head, so walking is a treat. Not so sure how I'll feel about it at eight in the morning. So, hm, maybe I can think of it as treating myself to a space of mental quiet and physical fluidity at the start of my day. Maybe.

PS, Girlie: You asked a couple days ago about NIA and I forgot to reply. NIA stands for Neuromuscular Integrated Action. It is a workout based on modern dance, yoga, and tai chi, done to various kinds of world/tribal music. It's super fun, very challenging, great for spinal alignment. Most of the class is dance routine, with usually some floor work at the end. The instructors go through a training program similar to martial arts, with different belt levels. I like it a lot, and would like to get back into it when my teaching schedule allows. If you can find a class near you, you should try it out! Even though I was the only big girl in my class, the environment was very welcoming and respectful, with a focus on getting in touch with your body. There's a NIA group near me that has a live drum circle for the music every month. Fun!

Morning chicks!

Wasn't sure if your question was rehtorical or not spores but It got me thinking.

What are your dreams and wishes?

I spent 2 days thinking about it. I am living my dream in every conceivable. Everything I have spent my life working for and through is my reality right now.
I suppose my wish/dream is to live this time in my life well.

The reality check of this is that it is not perfect.
DH came home miserable yesterday. He is often unhappy this time of year. He doesn’t like his boss. He is justified. He takes it out on me sometimes. He was nitpicky and hurtful. It brought tears to my eyes. I stayed calm and spoke quietly and very little to him. I watched ER and went to bed. He was sarcastic to me. I laughed( thought he was joking) he got really angry. Sigh.
This morning he was sarcastic again. I hugged him and told him I loved him.
I still wouldn’t change my life.
Gary Zukav wrote-Without commitment you cannot learn to care for another person more than yourself. You cannot learn to value the growth of strength of clarity in another soul, even when it threatens the wants of your personality. When you release the wants of your personality to accommodate and encourage another’s growth, you attune yourself to that person’s soul.

The upside is that I in turn receive the rewards of his growth in the growth and depth of our relationship.
The same goes for our children.

When I was a child growing up in a very WASP, yuppy, suburban cesspool, I dreamed and wrote about being married to a hardworking country boy, living in the country, baking, canning, gardening, growing veggies, being home with my children, doing crafts, singing, dancing, volunteering at the school............. I didn’t meet DH til I was 30, he was 35.....so in the meantime I went to school a bunch of times, worked as a hairdresser, counsellor, owned a successful business, travelled, went on road trips, had exciting boyfriends..........

So now I will live my life well.

morning chicks!!
TGIF!! friday is always one of my favorite days! i got up early weighed in and am down 2lbs this week. very excited!! the loss got me thinking about this pair of levi's i have been wanting to wear but have not fit. i pilled them out of the drawer and have them on at work today!! i can sit and breathe. maybe a little snug in the waist yet but i don't care!! DH and i are going out tonight for our every other friday dinner out. i already told him no chinese it makes me crazy when i eat it. lol. going to focus on the conversation and good company of my DH. not much planned for the weekend, hopefully relaxing.

holly- you are so understanding of your DH. hang in there hon, i am so sassy i am afraid i couldn't keep my mouth shut. i am the sarcastic one most of the time in our relationship though. glad you are feeling fulfilled. i am living my dream for the most part, other than the job thing but i am working on that too. keep up the positive energy!!

spores- compulsive spending?? that's a whole different story lol. i have problems there too. good for you trying to curb both!! hope you were able to get your workout in! planning ahead for busy days is very important. treating myself to little things makes me feel special, glad you enjoyed the pear and the mag, little things mean so much. have a great day!!
hope everyone else is doing great! happy weekend!!

Holly: Not a rhetorical question, and thanks so much for sharing. I love that idea, "to live this time in my life well." Not to constantly compare one's current situation to could-have-beens, but to live what we have well. Thanks for the inspiration this morning.

Jodi: Yes, I DID get my treadmill in this morning! I wasn't too keen on getting out of bed (Fridays are usually my only day off to sleep in late), but I managed it with some coaxing from my bf (he got out my robe for me and danced it around like it was a person -- he knows jut how to get to me), and I hopped on the magic conveyer belt and actually enjoyed it! Gave myself plenty of time to warm up and listened to my body and didn't push so hard that I was miserable. Yes, the compulsive spending and eating go hand in hand. That urge to go out and blow a wad on clothes I don't need is the exact same feeling that makes me want to eat an entire pie. Urge to consume, in any form. And I can't afford to indulge in either habit! Working on it slowly. Hope your dinner out is nice! I am going to the movied with bf tonight, and am planning to skip the popcorn. It just makes me feel icky; not worth it.

Hope everyone is having a great Friday.

LOL Jodi~ I have a BIG mouth and I am loud most of the time. It took me 7 out of 8 years to learn that to be sarcastic and nasty right back ecscalated things horribly and we'd hurt each other soooo deeply it just wasn't worth it. I was mad a **** last night and really hurt. I kept breathing through it.I tell myself over and over, I love him with all my heart!! When he comes home today I wil hug him and hope for the best.
I love your plans with DH. Enjoy every minute!

Spores~Great workout this morning!!!! Enjoy your day off!!!!
I just bought 18 articles of clothing for the kids for $190. I am thrilled. I am only happy spending $$$ when it is a bargain!!! Darn kids keep growing and wearing stuff out,LOL!

Morning...oh, AFTERNOON, everyone. It's getting late in the day and I don't have that much time. I wanted to let you know that I DID IT>>>>>

I QUIT the grocery store. I requested less hours because they were killing me, and I looked at the schedule last night and they gave me MORE hours than I've ever had, including working 6 hours tomorrow and Sunday (so no weekend for me) AND Friday, Saturday and Sunday of next week. I was SO upset! I started to panic and thought about how horrible it would be for me this week and I finally put my foot down. I can get a PT job somewhere else where they treat us better. I worked my shift last night, came home and thought about it and I woke up at 5am and typed out a memo and took it in today. I wanted to give them a day to find some people to cover my shifts this weekend. I thought I'd give them at least a week of notice, but no...I said I'm not going to do it. I'm done. They've already screwed me a few times and I just let them do it.


I feel kind of bad...I never quit. But it's a stupid part time job. And I knew I'd slack on exercise greatly because of this. I have a 3rd interview next week too - the manager is taking me to lunch - and I need to be in good spirits and rested for it. F*ck it. I'm going to wait this week and see if the natural foods store or the local book stores near me need anyone part time.

Just thought I'd say that. Hee hee. Talk to you all later. I'll catch up this weekend...I don't have to work for the first time in weeks! I'm going to take extra time at the gym...I'll even sit in the steam room or jacuzzi...and spend time with DH, and finally get into the novel I've been trying to read for two months!!!

Girlie

Girlie: You rock the box, girl! Stick it to the man! Don't let em push you around! Give them the old heave-ho! Boy, it feels good, doesn't it? I just recently quit a crappy job because I hated it -- my first time too. Before I always had a good excuse, like I was moving or I had gotten a better offer or some such. But to say, "I hate this, it makes me miserable, and no amount of money is more vlauable than my happiness and time" takes huge courage and belief in yourself. Good for you. You deserve that long jacuzzi soak!

Spores:
Thank you. I still feel a little uncertain...just leaving a memo and saying I'm going...but you know, everyone else just doesn't show up. At least I had the courtesy to leave a memo. Plus, ****, I'm gonna treat them the way they treated me!

Holly:
Since I have time, I wanted to mention what you were saying about your DH being frustrated and taking it out on you. I think it's like that in most relationships, and can go vice-versa. Good for you for taking a deep breath and not let what he said internalize. It's challenging enough to be a wife...and then be a mother on top of it - it's tough, and you know that the strong person is the one who can stop and understand what's going on and get through it. Good for you, really! That is outstanding. Patience really is a great virtue!

Have a great evening all. I went home on my lunch break and DH said he wants to take me on a date tonight! So we've got dinner/movie plans...unfortunately, I'm feeling really tired right now. We might have to postpone for tomorrow!

Girlie

I was telepathic yesterday. Possibly psychic, more likely psycho. LOL!
I told myself that I was going to call DH on the cell at 5pm and let him know there were no plans and he could stay in town with the guys. At 5 the phone rings . It was DH asking if we had any plans and he thought he would stay in town with the guys. By all means!!!
The man needed to blow off steam. I woke around 2am and he still wasn't home. Good for him! Last time he rolled in at 9pm. Way too early.

I had a mostly fantastic day. The sinus headaches of earlier this week have morfed into a cold. I had a monumentally wonky stomach last night. Drank pots of pepermint tea. Didn't hurl.
The good stuff... it was a PD day so I had 6 kids. DS is quite sick but not grumpy.
I was up early, had a shower, fed the wee beasties. At 9 I took DS to a friends farm for the AM. They have cattle, chicken, the local sugar bush and a petting barn, 4 kids....needless to say he hasn't stopped talking about it. I then picked up 2 more kids and went to the early years play group. Kids made hearts out of toast and jam. It went up to +2C. Much romping outside.
Picked up the new clothes. The kids put on fashion shows all aft. This is the first time I have ever bought DD(age 4) clothes . We have been blessed with handmedowns for both kids but it has trickled out. The stinkers wear it all out now.
I made bacon and eggs for supper( you cant have THAT for supper , it is breakfast food, says DH). Ha! Had cut up veggies with it.
Practised DS's line for a play next Fri. Snuggled the angels into bed. Watched Rosemary and Thyme, went to bed and read. Good sleep. Very runny nose. Got up with DS so DH could sleep in. Gawd, I am wonderful. Tons of housework this morning. Hockey at 1. Sunday School planning and lesson prep this aft. Maybe sort DH's books. SS at 9 am tomorrow, Skating at 2. Not much else in between. Decorating shows tonight!
My weight was up 6lbs at TOPS this week. Impossible for that to be accurate. I was feleing wonky and bloated. I have been focussing on flushing out the bod. Water, fruits and veg.
It's still early.
I could run the dishwasher. Very dull.

HUGS dear chicks. Have a great weekend.

good morning chickies~
i am blisfully enjoying the quiet of an empty house, just me and the doggies and some blaring music!! i have the vol turned way up almost to the point where i can not think! i need that, just stop thinking jodi!! clear it all out, feel the music, no food police thinking, just me. kids are at their father's house since last night. DH and i went to a nice italian dinner, and to see "meet the fouckers" sp? we LAUGHED!! silly movie but that kind of comedy just kills me ROFL. i was very sensitive yesterday, easy to tears, remains of hormones i guess, DH did a good job of keeping me smiling for the most part. we needed time to reconnect, i was feeling lonely, i am a very high maintenece wife emotionally. DH gets that. i am very self sufficient in all othr ways so i guess he doesn't mind the extra upkeep in that department. DH went with his friends to a gun show this morning. i am in my pj's till i feel like getting dressed, not doing any of my "should do's" feels good!!

girlie- good for you, sometimes you just have to put your foot down. i hope you feel better about it! reminds me of one time i worked at a little convienence store while in college. i was hired to do the register but suddenly found i was the cooler stocker and floor mopper??? WTF?? told them about it and they did nothing, i just had to bail. you were nice to send a memo. good luck with interview #3

holly- glad you had a good day yesterday! i hope DH is feeling better today after blowing off some steam! guys are funny. we all need that time though. sorry about the gain, i am assuming you are using your end of the period weight? vs the evening TOPS weight? correct me if i am wrong. don't worry about it girl. we all fluctuate everyday. keep plugging along! good for you upping the water and healthy stuff!

spores- great job with the workout, i like morning workouts best i am not totally awake and i have no brain to try and talk myself out of it before my coffee kicks in LOL. what movie did you see? hope you had a nice evening.

have a great day ladies!!

Girlie!! I forgot to say WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO, YIPPEE SKIPPY AND GO GET EM!!!!!!!!

Have a great morning Jodi!!

SUUUUSIEEEEEEEE!!! where are you? what going on?

Spores, Howz your day going?