I’ve been overweight since I was around 5-6 years old. Currently, I’m 30 years old in grad school and have another year before graduation. I should be excited about another degree, my future, my youth, etc. but I’m always down because of how big I am.

Instead of going out and enjoying my friends, family, my interests, I’m a homebody because I hate being in public with my belly so big, rolls, flabby arms, etc. Settling down is the plan at this point in my life. Marriage and kids is an aspect of my life I really look forward to, although I don’t think it will happen due to how I look. How do I get back out into the world & my life without being so uncomfortable in the process?

If you hate being in public because you're overweight, I think the best solution would be to lose weight, not just for your looks, but also to improve your health.

To lose weight, focus on eating mainly whole foods (e.g. vegetables, fruits, legumes, whole grains, nuts, seeds). In particular, be sure to eat a lot of vegetables. Avoid sweets, refined carbs, and fried foods.

I have a major sweet tooth, but I agree with you about losing the weight. PCOS has me discouraged when I don’t see progress as fast as I would like. The public aspect of working out deterred me from the gym as well so I stick to my treadmill. Thanks for the nutritional tips.

If you like sweets, eat fruit (you can eat fresh fruit or frozen fruit, but avoid juice). Fruit won't cause you to gain weight.

Weight loss is about 80% diet, 20% exercise, so you can lose weight even without exercising. However, exercise is important for your health.

If you don't want to go to the gym, you can exercise at home. I would suggest doing both cardio and strength training, so in addition to walking on the treadmill, you can also do squats and pushups.

I sympathize Daydreamgirl. The same thing happened to me and I was a virtual recluse for four years. Thankfully I could work from home and I ordered shelf-stable food so I didn't have to go out to the store.

I fully understand what you are going through. The only way that I started to get out of that recluse behavior was to put myself on a strict plan (in my case Medifast) and stick to it. There had to be trips to the grocery store for fresh vegs and greens so that helped me get out in public again.

As the weight came off I began to feel more confident about going places and doing things and at this point (40 pounds down) I no longer am a recluse.

My advice would be to see what sort of weight loss plan will work for you and to go for it and stick with it. You should find that as you start to feel better physically that your desire to go out and do things will improve as well. So many times it's what we are eating that causes a sedation/depression type of feeling. I didn't analyze that too much, but did know I was eating way too much bread, pasta, rice and potatoes. I stopped eating all of these things and noticed almost right away that I no longer felt the need to lie down all the time.

A note about Medifast/Optavia: this works very well for me but if people are on this type of packaged diet it's imperative to transition at the end of the weight loss to learn and maintain healthy eating habits. Over the years the plan has improved to encourage education of this type of thing instead of weight loss...boom....done and then you gain it back.

Whatever you choose as an eating and exercise plan should be something you can maintain for life, so take your time and think about what you might do that you can enjoy and stick with. The Mayo Clinic has a book, a journal and a cookbook with healthy meals, education on weight maintenance and yummy recipes. Amazon carries them.

I appreciate it so much that you took the time to read & reply to my post. Also, it’s nice for someone to empathize with what I’m feeling. Carbs are the food group that slows me down. I notice I feel way less sluggish when I’m getting more fruits, water, and leafy greens in my diet. Often I’ll get discouraged from even trying to lose the weight because I feel like I’m so far behind that it won’t come off. I know I’ve lost it in the past and it could be done again, but I will have to get serious with my nutrition to make it happen. Thanks again for the great advice.

Most of the calories in fruit, and about half the calories in leafy greens, come from carbs. When you say carbs slow you down, do you mean grains? Are you referring to whole grains, or refined grains? Most people can eat whole grains with no problems, and there are many studies showing that whole grains can help with weight loss.

It's the type of carbs in white potatoes, pasta, bread and rice that are the slowers.

If you eat enough of them you get a sedative effect and it's easy for those of us who have the hermit problem to use those things to quell anxiety. The only thing those foods really do is contribute to our weight gain and depression, most likely because our serving sizes are too large and we eat way too many of them.

You're welcome! You're right about feeling overwhelmed with having to start. Once you do, and realize it's forever and not just a diet within a time frame, it gets easier to stay on a plan.

The weight may come off slowly, but it will come off and boy-howdy that's nice.

Same!! I actually didn't loose weight until I graduated (and was stressed about finding a job). When I did loose weight, I went from a size 18/20 to a size 6/8. I forced myself to go to the gym every freaking day for at least 30 minutes of cardio. I walked at first, before I got the courage to start jogging, and then running. Before I knew it, I had to force myself to leave the gym after an hour because I knew I wasn't doing myself any good. After the gym, I'd eat something healthy: i.e., fish, veggie, and carb. Then I'd shower and go to bed. I did that almost daily for six months.

It forced me out of bad habits (i.e. eating junk food late at night). Even though I was a bit of a recluse, I was at least being productive about it.

(Fast forward several years, I got married (to a man who started dating me while I was larger), got pregnant, and ballooned up due to medical issues. Now that I have other's to keep alive, I'm struggling to get to my pre-pregnancy weight baby steps though! It starts with a choice )

Sometimes ashamed sometimes embarrassed but I think it’s more I want to get away from the judgement and bad looks. I feel safer in private but also hate myself for being ugly (like when I see videos of normal looking people and remember how ugly I am)

Society never keeps quiet about absolutely anything. If you are so willing, work on toning up your body. It is not a joke though. They know what people who are so big experience that people who aren't don't. embrace and work on yourself

You must love yourself fat, to love yourself thin! Instead of being ashamed, stand up proud as a beautiful woman, because you are. You do not have to be satisfied with how you look, but you accomplish nothing by hiding. You obviously have a fine mind, use it. Be proud of the woman you are, join a gym or a class, walk, jog, whatever. Find a weight loss program you can stick with. There are 100’s out there keep looking until successful. Treat yourself with every 10 lbs lost, a piece of jewelry a new blouse, some cute makeup, a fun handbag or sunglasses. Quit focuses on what’s wrong with you and focus on what’s right!