A woman named Emily renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job, or are you just a.....?
"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation....'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know......the words simply popped out.
"I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in mid-air, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold,
black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother
doesn't), in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family), and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money." There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby), in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."
Motherhood.....What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door.
Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research Associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" and great-grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates"? I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants".
Please send this to another Mom, Grandmother, Aunt, and other friends you know
* Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an
eyebrow.
* There's no trick or surprise.
* Just follow these instructions, and answer the
questions
one at a time and as quickly as
you can!
* Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until
you've done each of them ..
really.
* Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss
something).
Think of a number from 1 to 10
Multiply that number by 9
If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits
together
Now subtract 5
Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to
the number you ended up with (example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)
Think of a country that starts with that letter
Remember the last letter of the name of that country
Think of the name of an animal that starts with that
letter
Remember the last letter in the name of that animal
Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that
letter
Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?
I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2%
of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise. Keep this message going. This one is actually worth sending on to others. Forward it to people you know so they can find out if they are usual or unusual.
I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for
me...and as
we start summer we all could use a little calm. By following the simple
advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace. The
article
read:
"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've
started".
So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn't
finished.... and before leaving the house this morning I finished
off a
bottle of red
wine, a bottle of white wine, the Bailey's, Kahlua and WildTurkey, the
Prozac, some valium, some cheesecake and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how freakin good I feel....
You may pass this on to those you feel are in need of Inner Peace...
The innocence and beauty of kids........................
>
> >
> >Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a
little
> >girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we
CAN
>make
> >a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...
> >
> >A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One
day a
> >construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty
lot.
> >The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in
all
> >the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing
the
> >workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them
>gems-in-the-rough,
> >more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted
with
> >her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks,
and
>gave
> >her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
> >
> >At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay
envelope
> >containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to
her
> >mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and
suggested
>that
> >they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next
day
>to
> >start a savings account.
> >
> >When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and
asked the
> >little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a
young
>age.
> >The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew
>building
> >the house next door to us."
> >
> >My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on
the
> >house again this week, too?"
> >
> >The little girl replied, "I will if those a$$holes at Home Depot
ever
> >deliver the f* sheet rock..."
> >
> >Kind of brings a tear to the eye.
Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intention Of Arriving Safely In A Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather Skid In Sideways, Cigar In One Hand, Favorite Beverage In The Other, Body Thoroughly Used Up, Totally Worn Out, And Screaming...
Through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods.
On a Sear's hairdryer:
>>>Do not use while sleeping. (damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:
>>>You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap:
>>>"Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
>>>"Serving suggestion: Defrost."...(but, it's "just" a suggestion!).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
>>>"Do not turn upside down.".. (well duh!!! A bit late, huh?)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
>>>"Product will be hot after heating."...(and you thought????)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
>>>"Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
>>>"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
couldjust get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
>>>"Warning: May cause drowsiness."(and I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
>>>"For indoor or outdoor use only."(as opposed to where?)
On a Japanese food processor:
>>>"Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit baffled.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
>>>"Warning: contains nuts."(talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
>>>"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Step 3: maybe, uh, fly Delta?)
>>>On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
>>>"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God! Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Too funny!!!
