[mermaid20]

Each and every day I get more and more confident about how I look. I am only 5'0 tall and 120 pounds. I used to be a little over 100 when I was 18. But while I may have a good 10-15 pounds to lose, I really like how I look and I am happy here.

HOWEVER

less than 10 days until I get married and my future husband has the nerve to say things like he hates my thighs, how they are my problem area and he was hoping my thighs wouldn't be as fat as they are and how it bothers him to look at

AND

That he is no longer as sexually attracted to me as he was when he was 18 because I don't have the body of an 18 year old... because i dont look as i did then... and that now i have to wear lingerie or really make moves to make him attracted to me. Just being me in everyday clothes is not good enough....

10 days to my wedding people....

i'm in tears... after 8 years it comes down to this?? I dont even want to walk down the aisle. Why do I see someone who is attractive in the mirror and all I get is constant criticism???

[amyleigh]

oh honey!! as a girl with VERY little relationship experience, i'm not going to give advice, but i am going to give hugs we love you!!!!

[mermaid20]

Thank you!! I needed hugs...

[applelady]

Oh sweetheart :-( I think you already know what needs to be done. By no means do you have problem figure at your size and his cruelty is mostly likely the way expresses some other feeling. I wish you so much luck and happiness. Love should grow and mature with time....not become selfish and painful.

[ducktape54]

I am so sorry. that was so mean of him to say that. There is more to a person than their weight. You love the person for who they are not what they look like or their size. I think you should be confident with you weight loss so far you have done an awesome job. So HUGS and good luck..keep your confidence in yourself you have earned it!

[Ciao]

Ahwww! I'm so sorry!

Honestly... how could you marry someone who
would say that? I'm sure he's a great guy, but
if you're going to make a commitment to someone
make sure he loves you- and ALL of you. I know
it must be very nerve wracking considering your
marriage is in 10 days, but that truly is a horrible
thing to say.

If it were me in your shoes and my fiancé had
a negative to say about my body, even after all
the hard work I've done, we'd have a serious talk
about it. If I'm going to commit myself to him then
he must love all of me- good or bad, 100+ lbs or
not, etc. I hope in the end you make the right decision.

[ThicknPretty]

The things I really want to say would be offensive and hurtful to someone getting ready to get married, so I shall refrain as much as possible.

You are committing to spending the rest of your life with this guy....are you ready to hear how much he hates your thighs for...the...rest..of...your...life? Because it probably won't get better...

Anyway, it's not for me to say or judge. Congrats on the wedding and really, if you're happy with your body, that is the MOST important thing. Most of us are in the opposite boat...totally unhappy with our bodies and being told to stop...I wish I felt confident in my body! You should be proud of yourself and he should be, too.

Maybe he's just stressed about the wedding? Anyway, Goo luck and congrats again.

[mermaid20]

Thanks girls... I don't know what to do! He is my best friend and my entire life. He has been for 8 years. and I wanted this to be the happiest day of my life... but you can't tell a bride something like that a week before the wedding and then not expect it to be in the back of her mind as she is walking down the aisle...

[jollygirl]

OK. I just have to add something. Just because he is your best friend, does not AUTOMATICALLY make him your soul mate. If he is saying something like this a week before your wedding, there may be some other issues going on. For your own sake, please please please, go with him to talk to someone you both trust. Make sure this is right for both of you now. Maybe it is just nerves on his part, and that is normal. Then figuring out how you can put it past you, because he sure did know how to hit you where it hurts. But if there is more going on, find out now. Please. A friend of mine's wise mother once said "You can be miserable on your own. If you are with someone, they darned well better make you happy."

Be happy. Be healthy.

[doingmybest]

Just checking in to find out how you are doing. Did you have a chance to talk to your fiance?

Please, please, please listen closely to the comments the others have made and get this resolved.

You deserve to be treated with love and respect - always. Please let us know how you are. I am sending you many hugs.

[mermaid20]

Well, I was a beautiful bride this summer.
and today I am feeling like an old married woman ready for divorce.
After 8 years, and 2 months of being newlyweds and I can't believe it has come down tot his...
I've been dying to have kids. we are financially not ready. I said to him, I can't believe you don't want to have kids, you never seem enthused.
He says I've been wanting to tell you for a month that it's not financial reasons holding me back its superficial ones. He believes I wouldn't get the body I have now back and that's not even good enough because he was hoping I would get in better shape first... HOW INSULTING!!
he said get into shape and then we can have kids... like a threat.
hes always being rude and mumbling about exercise rudely and he said that when I was 98 pounds when I met him, I wasn't even perfect then because he knew I didn't eat food and I wasn't healthy and he wants me to be toned and fit not just anorexic.
I dont even know what to do or say!!

[mylifestory852]

omgg i have the same problem i can feel u but it getting bigger with me ( i can feel how that hurt the problem we loved each other as how we are and he loved me when i was heavy i wasn't thin at all before marriage and after we married after few months he started to act that he is not attracted to me cuz i am over wight and he cant enjoy sex with me how that hurt i am sorry my english not good enough i wish u can understand me i left my family and my whole life to marry him and come to the country he live in and it wasn't easy its long story but all i can say that is so hurtful really specially if he showed his love for me as a person but the truth that i c now is not as i thought.

[mylifestory852]

and he told me the same thing ur husband said to u he said that too he dont wanna kids now cuz i am obese. and i can c him when he looking to the women in good shape and that break my heart and i asked him if u liked the shape i was in when we first married he said not exactly i thought that u will continue losing weight after marriage and do exercises but u didn't and i think its important to me that the woman i marry to to be sexy and in good shape (. actually he shocked me i can't believe how hard he is on me
and he can divorce me for that reason omg , it is ben long time no sex and i dont know why i am still with him after all that may be i wanna lose the weight and then c what gonna be his reaction but i know that i am not gonna be the same person i was before cuz he broke my heart

[LindseyLou]

Mermaid - I am SO sorry that you are dealing with that! People, even family and husbands can say hurtful things, but I cannot believe he's concerned you won't have the body you have now if you have children. Does he need a reality check?!!

Does he REALLY expect you to maintain the body you had when you were 18 forever? I met the man who is now my husband at 17 and I know that there is NO way I could look the way I did. I was a teenager!!! And he knows this and I don't think he expects me to.

He should love you for you and every inch of you! Love isn't all about looks!!! My husband has never said anything like that, he's told me he's concerned for my health. I'm not sure what I would do or say if he said what your hubby did. I wish I had more advice, but I would definitely have a sit down, serious talk with him and tell him how much that hurt you and find out what he expects from you. Are these real expectations?

I think men sometimes have expectations that we're supposed to all look like Victoria's Secret models or something. I think the media shows so many tall, thin gals and maybe that gives them the idea that their woman should look just like that...who knows?!

Sit down, have a serious talk and go from there. But, if he honestly can't "deal" with the way you look, then he's not worth it!!!

Take care!

Mylifestory- I'm so sorry to hear you're going thru the same thing as well!!!! It's so sad!

I think you should sit down and seriously talk to your husband as well! I wish you ladies the best of luck. And by the way, I think you both are doing amazing in your weight loss journeys if that's any consolation!