Again, I meant no offense, I don't expect many to understand unless youre a long time EDNOS sufferer, the details I'd rather not express at this time (another trigger). Like the rest of you I have issues & baggage that I need to sort out. What I was trying to say (maybe not very constructively) was that conversation that describes binge eating, especially if the element of "getting away with it" is involved is a very BIG trigger for me, and causes my disordered brain to revert back to a very dark place. It is nothing personal, it is not the mention of cheating that is the trigger, its the actual listing and description of large amounts of food consumed in a short period of time. Again, I meant no offense, and I apologize if I caused any.
Witchie I am right at the same place as you.
Which is why I always talk about my ladies teasing me when I go in and admit to my less then half an ounce of apple crisp I indulged in or my 2 fries I stole from one of my girls meals........
I cant cheat big...... Or it shows.... Id love to have a cheat.... say a whole friggin bowl of ice cream just ONE night just one night in one months time... But I cant..... Cause I am strict with myself. Also..... it shows on my scale.
For me... THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION AND MY PERSONAL WAY on this program I do not expect anyone else to be the same or at the same mindset as me.
But going in.. I decided if Im gonna do it.. dammit Im gonna do it! I refuse to put money into something (lots of money lol) And undo it by going and having the burger I want.... Cause Ill keep spending money but undoing what Im paying for the pills to do. THATS MY WAY. MY MINDSET. Thats all.
Reading about a cheat like that..... thats fine by me.. Cause its not me. She needed to do that I believe for her journey!!! Its all part of a process and everyones is different. Some of ours are similar we identify with certain ladies on this board cause the journey they are going through is so similar to our own personal experience. Like I first off said. I identify with Witchie. But were similar weights etc etc etc. Starting at a higher weight is a longer time doing this diet.
Im not trying to put words into her mouth but I think her point may have been trying to get at.....
Ok this is what one person does but we should not suggest we all do that lol. Chantal absolutely needed to do that I have no doubt in my mind. Do I luv her any less? Not one bit. Do I think less of her? **** no.
Will I be here supporting her today Absolutely. Will I tell her I think she is stunning you betcha cause she is!!!! DO I think she is gonna pick up and keep on. I dont doubt it for one second. Will she reach her goal.... Shes too determined not to!!
Just because its one persons way of doing this. I dont think we should say Hey I should go have that burger and fries like she did... so me too. If you can manage not to Good for you... if ya have a slip up... good for you. Were all still here..... ready to support you!!!!
Also on the going into the centre again I made a commitment when I joined to go in 3 times...... Actually I agreed to 2 times but after doing that for one week. I needed more support. Going in 3 times a week keeps me motivated!!! BIG TIME
My friend... didnt she went in 2 times.... whatever works for ya!!!
On that note......
I drastically had a high note this weekend. Everyone was normal. But instead of me killing both my starches off by lunch I had scetti and meatballs for supper. Well didnt that raise my scale. I saw 130 on my home scale the OMG moment happened. I drank lots sunday and went back to my starches by lunch routine.... I was still down .2 today. But could have been more if I didnt switch it up. This is a lesson learned LMAO
I also lost 3" last week!!! YAY
Im glad we have lots of communication going. Im glad that we all have a place to come talk and share our successes. Our behaving badly moments and anything going on in life in general.
Lets keep the peace Hope everyones weigh in goes well this week
( And hope I havent ticked anyone off. Offended anyone or put words into anyones mouth)
I wasn't offended at all. Sorry if it might of come across like I was. And for me on my journey... when I mess up it shows on the scale ... that is why most of the time I don't cheat at all ... not one bit. But when I have a bad moment I go way off ... briefly.... and then I'm back to it and losing big numbers to make up for it. As time goes by it becomes easier and easier to stay on track rather than have off moments. I identify with all of you and I know we all have our triggers. . I was just trying to make sure that nobody else was feeling badly. Thanks to Witchie and Dria for your thoughts.
Last edited by mememegogirl; 06-16-2009 at 12:03 AM.
Thanks meme.
Dria, girl I swear we are related, we think so much alike. Thats interesting about the starches, I'm going to try that, having them done by lunch. Anyhoo I hope everyone is well, WI later this a.m. Cheers!
I see things are getting emotional here..... Hey we are all human. How we individually approach Herbal magic is totally up to each and everyone of us. I had joined HM a few years back and quit after a couple of months because I was becoming depressed because I couldn't do anything. Made it very difficult to go out etc. Which to me is so upsetting because I am social by nature so I gave up but like I have said hundreds of times... the dining out guide gives me that little extra "hey I can do this" which with my work and kids sports schedules I need that flexibility. And I am loving it... I lost 20 something pounds since April that is amazing to me!!!
As for those who may have healing eating disorders... whatever they may be when I talk about my experiences of indulging I am looking for a sounding board I don't need one of you to tell me what a bad girl I am... and I should be able to be free in what I say on the boards.. with in reason of course. I am responsible for what I put in my mouth, only me... not anyone of you... and vice versa... And if there is no cheating involved in some of your approaches I tip my hat to you because you have discipline and you should be commended for it.
I am on this journey of HM until February.. I had 88 pounds to loose... I don't have only 20 pounds or 10 pounds to loose I have 88 of them... that's alot so if I slip up along the way oh well... as long as I know to get back on track immediately. Trust me once I am done I don't want to go back to where I was EVER!!!!!
Thats my rant for today take it however you want to. No offence will or is taken but I just had to have my say once again!!! LOL
I Hear ya Lee!!!!
Like said its nice to have somewhere to go to let go. I honestly think this is one of those places. I agree being on til Feb is a long time cheats happen!!! Cheats happen with me too they are just very small ones. But still cheats none the less.
Im looking forward to seeing some W.I numbers today ladies.... lets get em coming. I wanna do some cheering.... or consoling lol
I lost 20 something pounds since April that is amazing to me!!!
Absolutely I agree, yer kickin butt!!
Quote:
I don't need one of you to tell me what a bad girl I am
Am not, and would not, I was refering to myself. I totally agree with this being a sounding board, and thus I was using it as such.
Talking of indulgences and cheating doesn't bother me. It is the literal listing, and description of binge eating that is a trigger for me. Like I said I don't expect most to understand, **** most of the time I don't. Anyhow, enough of that, how was everyones WI? Mine was ok, down 1 lb. Have a great day all.
I'll start by apologizing if my binge created some triggers for some people.
But here again...I have to say... you'll never be safe. Triggers are ALL AROUND us... and I had to share what I did, only because I'm human and we all are. FOR ME, to say this to ALL OF YOU, was being accountable...that's why we have the board, right?
I decided that YES, I cheated big time... YES. I came back on the board, I went to HM...cause that's what I need to do - GET BACK ON THE WAGON.
So yes, I shared with you guys...and I did it cause I had to overcome SHAME and I wanted other people to know that we are ALL human and we ALL have setbacks (but some of you seem nearly perfect!).
I've ready many books on eating disorders and emotional eating, etc... and it's funny how we keep RESTRICTING our food, when we need to ALLOW.
Look at me...I'm still restricting - I'm on HM !!
It doesn't seem right in my mind...I'm afraid. You mean, I can eat EVERYTHING I WANT??? WOW... what will happen to me? I'll weigh 400 pounds by Christmas... lol
Anyhow... I'm still on this quest to find the answer, to cure this once & for all.
HM is working for me...but a little voice inside me is telling me that I need more than this... that I cannot remove those foods, those triggers from my life completely...it'll never happen.
So thanks to those who support me...and again, I apologize to those that didn't like me telling it like it is.
I decided to go for WI twice a week instead of 3x per week. It might help with my obsessiveness!!!
I went in last night for WI...I'm up 0.8 pounds. This lesson has taught me something... that if ever I need to cheat for like my bday or on vacation, I won't gain 10 pounds!! I need to r-e-l-a-x about it... I need to chill.
BUT THAT'S ME HERE!! NOT SAYING EVERYONE NEEDS TO CHILL (LOL)
I need to chill cause I was on the verge of depression and so obsessive!!
I wasn't living anymore.
Every time, before you eat, take a moment to be silent. Close your eyes if you like, or just fix your attention on a neutral object or point. Take a few slow, deep breaths. Think about your body and that you’re about to feed and nourish it. Gather a sense of gratitude about the food, and know how lucky you are to have it when many others don’t. Remind yourself of your commitments to eat well, but just enough. Remember that you love your body, and yourself. Then be silent again for a little while. Silence is anything but empty!
So thanks to those who support me...and again, I apologize to those that didn't like me telling it like it is.
I totally support you and think you are doing an excellent job, and I think this board is for "telling it like it is", thats what I was doing aswell. I also think that you are absolutely right about never being totally safe, although I haven't encountered exposure to binge eating type stuff that would set me off lately (except for some past posts). When you were retelling all the stuff that you ate, I just kept thinking "I soooo want to do that, how can I get a pizza delivered here without anyone noticing, or maybe once everyones in bed I can sneak out and go through a drive through.etc, etc" Seriously, this is one of my last triggers, and I am trying, trying, trying, to get past it. I suppose maybe I should try to expose myself to binge eating type material to somehow overcome? I don't know, I'm sorta at a loss......
Anyway enough about me, WI's girls, how'd ya do?
I totally understand the trigger part Witchie...but for me, it's emotional... not really somebody else talking about food or whichever. I can even sit beside my husband who's eating a bag of chips and have NO desire for it...NONE. Are you ok with seeing tv commercials about food? Is that a trigger too?
For me it's emotions...and unfortunately, they live with me forever! lol
Sadness, happiness, stress, tired...name it... food is usually around somewhere in the back of my mind...and in some instances, I cannot say no.
I try to REPLACE food with something else... At times I succeed, other times I don't...
I was thinking myself to attend some therapy... maybe even hypnosis...
Hypnosis is great! I've done hypnosis for my fears.... I was so bad.
I wouldn't sleep with the window open, I wouldnt' take a bath while I was alone, I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking someone was in the house, waking hubby up to go & check (this was like every other day). It was so bad. And one session of hypnosis.... I now sleep with the windows open, I take my bath with the doors unlocked! I sleep through the night, no issues at all...
So if it worked for this, I'm sure it would help for my emotional attachement to food! Anyone else thought of this??
Random thought here... isn't this thread going to be full soon? Anyone want to take the lead and start a new one when we get to that point? 2 dogs lady where are you?!?
Hope everyones weigh in goes well this week
