i'm living in a world where you have to be more than 'just' a mum, even my pop cant believe i am not going back to work.... think he secretely likes it though.... hubby and i just live simple lives and dont have things like foxtel or broadband so we can afford for me to stay home (will be better next financial year as this financial year i earnt too much for centrelink to really want to know us...) all my friends are going back to work or are working part time already with babies younger than jemima, sister in law is always doing things.... more and more i am letting myself just enjoy being at home one on one with jem....

ani - awesome job - i am big time into BB at the moment... hubby said he heard on the radio that emma hit laura on thursday or friday.... but they didnt say or show anything, i should google it and see.... but then i may get addicted to BB sites...

cried at the shops today (just little tears) coz we were going to gloria jeans and we had to leave because i didnt have the willpower to stay and not have a iced chocolate (with cream) or a vanilla slice or something and i knew i wasnt hungry.... i was going to have a chai but then i know it would have been mostly creamy and fatty too so we left, kinda proud of myself for not giving in to temptation but kinda very mad at self for not being able to have anything coz of willpower issues..... i have chai tea at home which i can monitor what goes in it.... ho hum

got the pixie photos back, wishing i had dressed jem up like i wanted to... we just went for the white shirt and jeans look all of us which is kinda boring and not our jemima at all, she is always in stripes but they said no stripes or bright colours... so i am going to go to a different pixie photo and go all out with bright colours and tacky shots and see what they come back like... hubby couldnt help himself and bought $300 worth of photos though! i will scan some in and put in my ticker, definate before shot, i dont know how many chins there are in the photos... more chins than the chinese phonebook....

vonni thanks for saying mums are miracles, i think it when i see how big she is and realise it was all from me, that ALL those feeds are doing something and when she giggles and stuff it is awesome too, my friend accross the road said yesterday that if she didnt go back to work it would change who she was as a person and she wanted to be the best she could for her baby (9 weeks old) which made me feel i guess that if i dont work as well i am not the best i can be for jemima.... hmm each to their own and every mum and bub is different iguess

gen - i love calorie king, just going to see how many ham, cheese and toasted sangas i can get away with for lunch, problem being going to friends place for dinner so no idea what she is going to serve up.... so will probably just have one and some fruit ho hum.

Crap I posted a big long reply and where'd it go??? grrrr. will do it again soon

OK Here's my post (What I can remember of it)

Kel you guys look great. I like casual photos. Don't you worry about stripes either, do what you want. I LIKE stripes too. I have a cute pic of my bub that I'll post one day for you to see. I haven't got pro shots yet of my lot, but I am a bit of a shutter bug and have a very expensive digital cam (prezzy). Still learning to use it there are so many features. I have option of using different lense filters and a tripod to take pro shots so will try getting the crew together. .

Ani I like Emma but she can be a b*#ch. But she is pretty upfront with most and I'm like that so can be perceived as one too sometimes. If you do interview her, ask her from me please and prob thousands of others WHY she *****es about other people birching. Isn't that being a bit hypocritical? I reckon she's a blokes chick. Prob hangs aty the pub and can down the beers with the best of em. lol.

Now I did say in my old post I had 6 of the kids this weekend and had to go get them ready for bed. They were bathed, in warm jamies and slippers and ready for a hot milo before bed. Now they are all tucked up - fast asleep. (better be)

Gotta go put a log on the fire now. It's bloody cold here. Stupid weather doesn't know what it wants to do.

Have a great Sunday all

Vonni xxx

shoot sorry about typos guys. Had a full day at work then at home. I think I better get to sleep too.

Vonni, I pride myself on asking different questions to what BB evictees get asked by the other 43 million people they have to talk to. But just for you…

Good day for me today, even if I did work many, many hours. I still managed to walk for an hour - and fitted in another hour of vacuuming and mopping. And I drank 2 litres of water, and ate 1450 calories. This is my penance for being a pig for the first half of the week.

Off to bed in a minute for an early night, as I have another looooong day tomorrow. Ah the joy of excessively working on the weekend! But at least I'll have a couple of days off during the week to make up for it.


Ani

Ani, thanks for the article, it was great! The only thing I'd take exception to was "...even while you're going through the process of change, treat yourself as though you are that thin, sexy beautiful woman..." - makes it sound like thin=sexy=beautiful. I know I am not trying to be, and don't want to be, "thin" per se. But very true and good points!

Are you going to say anything to Emma about her dad dying? I wonder how/when they'll tell her? If they tell her onstage, that's horrible. If they tell her before she's onstage, she'd be in shock a bit. But if they don't, someone could yell something out.. hmm, a dilemma.

Kel, if you read CK you will see that you are MEANT to eat back your exercise calories, especially to start with, until you see what your body needs. The calorie target I told you want meant to be NET, or after taking off your exercise calories. That's when I lose the most weight anyhow. Some people find they need to eat back 25-75% of the exercise cals for best losses... I say eat the most you can while still losing weight! Start eating back 100%, then if you don't lose enough, reduce the amount you eat. Although exercise usually makes me hungrier, so I always eat back 100%, but just reduce the net calories if I don't gain enough.. anyhow enough blabber from me.

I am an ICU nurse, just went back to clinical nursing after a "desk job" at a medical device company for about three years. Planning to move back to the US to work at a hospital there with some people I met while I was living there last year... still doing paperwork.

I had my step-niece's engagement party in Brisbane this weekend - barbeque, greasy breakfast and mudcake.. oops. Will have to hit the treadmill tonight and get back into it tomorrow, when I go to Melbourne. Tonight is unpacking, laundry and repacking for 8am flight tomorrow! Hope everyone's having/had a great long weekend!

Emma poor Emma gone.... I'm sad I had a hate / love relationship with her. Hated when first went in then loved het later. Rebecca was love / hate, but then an acceptance of her once she stopped trying to hard.

Gen you sound busy busy busy this weekend. I'm exhausted thinking about it.

Today we went down to other halfs mums for her birthday. Was a bit strained as all the drama last week I don't know how much was said or if truth was said. Anyhow he is staying there tonight with his kids, dropping them to their mum and then coming home tomorrow. At the moment he is sitting in the hospital trying to get his asthma sorted out. It's been bad for a couple of weeks but the past 2 days real bad. I tried getting him to the hospital but he wouldnt. Kinda piss#s me off that he took no notice of me but when his mum suggested it.........

Gen I have a question.... Or anyone else here with advice???? He saw a naturopath about 4 weeks ago and apparently she is also a counsellor. I don't know what was said and I told him I am a bit upset that he can't share things with me, as a relationship is supposed to be total trust and honesty with each other and share problems. Anyhow (I got off track) she prescribed him 18 tablets a day vitamins and minerals and calming herbs. Since all this he has been distant and gone from being totally emotionally and physically dependant on me and even overbearing in his love to being the complete opposite. He has gotten very unfeeling and a not care anymore attitude. In my opinion it is either the drugs or what was said that has made him this way. This lady is also a friend of his mums and her word is "law". He takes offence if I ask him anything about his feelings and if his tablets are affecting his asthma. He just gets defensive and says NO he asked her that and she said no. Almost like he sees it as an attack on his mother. Now correct me if I am wrong but people can react to ANYTHING can't they? Some people react to one thing while it doesn't affect another person? Second opinion? I also don't think he should see her as a counsellor because of the conflict of interest being a friend. Isn't that unethical or something? His mum talks about us in general conversation therefore I think the lady is not perceiving the true things about him, me or us.

Anyhow I should go. Sry to prattle but Gen I know yr an ICU but a nurse comes in contact with many people and many things. so....

Anyone else who wants to comment feel free...

Vonni

First off, I don't know of any natural supplements that cause you to become distant, so I'd say it's whatever she said. BUT having said that, there is EVERY possibility that something he is taking is exacerbating his asthma - asthma in particular, is very sensitive to multiple medications. He should not be needing to go to the hospital to get this sorted out - they treat emergencies, but he needs a written asthma management and PREVENTION plan - this should come from either his GP or a respiratory physician. He should have sufficient preventative medication and control that he has very rare "attacks", and usually these only with exertion, allergy or extreme changes in environment, not routinely with day to day life.

It's a difficult situation if he takes questioning about the naturopath as criticism of his mum, so I feel for you. What treatment did he go to her for, exactly? Is she qualified as a counsellor, or just a stickybeak..? Tehcnically a counsellor should just listen rather than giving "advice" - maybe talking about it just made him withdraw? I wouldn't criticise - can you approach it to him that your relationship seems to be going downhill, and you'd really like to seek couple counselling together to see if you can work on it? Find a NEUTRAL counsellor with proper qualifications, and see how it goes?

I know from my experience, having a partner ignore you or be distant is very difficult, and much worse than having fights. It's very lonely laying next to someone and feeling miles away from them. Hope things improve for you

Page 10 and this is my first entry in this new thread!

Firstly, sorry about the disappearing act - I'm not going to make excuses, I just had to take some pressure off myself and this was the only area in my life where I felt I had the control to do that.

Now lets forget about all that! I am back!!!


Let me introduce myself...

My name is Lindor. I started this battle back in January 2006 at 112kg and managed to lose 30kgs in the first 10 months!! Since then I have been on a massive plateau (can I still use that as an excuse???). Ok, ok, I fell off the wagon BIG TIME!!! At least I can say I have only gained a few kilos since it stopped coming off. But, as of today, that is all going to change...this last 25kg IS COMING OFF!!!


This morning I weighed in at 86.5kg!


Last week I attempted to make some positive changes to get back up and going again with regard to losing weight...so far walking to work four days a week is the only thing that has, and I think will, stick.

I am having huge issues with food again!!! I need to re-educate myself in portion control!!! I have been eating like a pig without a care in the world!! My attempts in cutting back were pretty weak last week, so I am hoping having to justify myself to you again might give me that little bit of mental strength that I need.

I still have to catch up on everything that has been going down with you lot and I'll do that very soon. I hope you are all fit and well? I have however, noticed a couple of new faces, so welcome to you!!

Anyway, as I am walking to work now, I have less time for sitting here in the mornings so I'll make the time to post in the evenings from now. Actually I think that might serve as a great distraction as it is after work that I start eating everything I can lay my hands on!!

Having said that...I must strap my walking shoes on and make a move!

Have a good day all!!!

I know you hate it when people make a fuss Lindor, so all I want to say is YAY - You just made my day, my friend.

I lost 0.3kg this week, and weighed in at 87.1kg, and I'm happy about that.

Vonni I would really like to comment, but my last relationship ended after a counsellor's 'helpful intervention with my ex', and I couldn't say anything objective about it. That wouldn't help you - but please know I am thinking of you

Gen I take your point about that part of my article. I have to confess to being a little naughty with it - I wrote it for a largely feminist readership, and I wanted to stir things up a wee bit. I fully agree with your sentiments; I just took my naughty pills before writing that one

Where is everyone? Kylie, LittleKiwi, RennySue, MaryL - who have I missed? And where are you all?


Ani

Welcome back Lindor. We missed you, and glad you found us again. I won't make a fuss, yr back thats great, lets pretend u were on a holiday hehee.

Gen thanks for advice. I did approach him about it but..... He initially went to Dr for feeling depressed. Dr prescribed antidepressants but his mum said no go to Marg the naturopath before you take the Drs ones. Its prob just an imbalance in yr bodys minerals. So off he went and you know the rest of the story....


I'll PM you the "advice" she wrote down on the bottom of his medication chart.

And one tab he is on is Nevaton. Now I googled the main ingredients.... Skullcap, St Johns wort, Damiana. Of 2 it says no alchohol, tea coffee or tobacco. He drinks tea n coffee and has a large beer most nights. Now it said that drinking those can cause excessive sedation with them. Side effect of skullcap fatigue confusion irregular pulse in some people. Damiana I know is thought to be an qphrodesiac... well nope lmao he went from one extreme to the other. From always wanting to never or rarely wanting. Now it says in some cases it has been known to irritate the genitourinary system. Maybe this is whats happened?

I think the lady is wrong in telling him there are NO side effects and are perfectly safe. In skullcap and damiana they both said not many studies have been done and they have not set a maximum safe dose. So..... But as I said before if I approach it purely out of concern he sees it as an attack on his mothers beliefs and thinks I am being just *****y. Its not that at all but he doesn't get it.... Is it just men that don't get it? Gosh, if we ever split up I am never going there again. Might join my sisters side of the love game.

Anyhow. Sry to annoy you. Going now to try and eat brekky. I'm tired and hungry. Had a baby with reflux last night (at 14mths) grrrr. and she is cranky chops this morning.

Vonni xx

Vonni you might want to google St John's Wort too - one of the side effects of it can be depression. People underestimate it as a 'harmless drug', and I know it's a definite no-no for anyone taking anti-depressants/anti-psychotics etc.

I don't have any objections to alternative medicine/therapists, but my experience with naturopaths has been that they try and sell you so much crap. I went to one who tried to sell me over $200 worth of pills and potions - and she got shirty when I told her that was outrageous. I found that eating five veges and two fruits did exactly the same thing

As for the counsellor thing, the naturopath is SO caught up in a conflict of interest it's not funny. Makes me angry just thinking about it.

Is your sister on my side of the fence? That's a very sad thing to say about 'joining' her. Are you really that worried about your relationship? Sit that man down Vonni, and remind him of all the wonderful things he has in his life - you, the kids, your home, your family and social circles… and tell him not to take those precious things for granted.

Tell him you need to find out, to discover the things that make the two of you so wonderful together. If that means couples counselling - do it. If it means getting the kids looked after, and going off somewhere together for a weekend, do it. Please don't sit back and let a mother and a pseudo-counsellor become the voices he listens to - you're worth much, much more than that

Would you believe I started this post just to say Google and St John's Wort?
Motor mouth me…

I've been so absorbed in my dillemas that I forgot today is weigh in day.

Well done Ani on ye weight loss. You seem to have begun the next leg of yr journey after the hurdle.

I've put on a more than a kilo. George is due for a visit anyday now, but I will not use that as an excuse. I don't have an excuse.

I ate nothing but sh*t all week. 2 lots of takeaway, a block of cadburys choc (hidden so noone else could have any) A couple of packets of chips. Prob more crap that I have failed to mention because to tell the truth... I simply don't KNOW what I have eaten this week. It's been a blur. Irregular meal times and skipping meals and no exercise hasn't helped either.

I would like to say that this week I am going to jump back on the wagon, but I know its a lie. But over this next week I will set myself some life changes.

I might just start by writing down the food I eat this week. Eat no chocolate and go for a walk at least once.

Next week I will walk twice. And eat no chips.

When I first started on this journey in Feb I planned a monthly meal calendar and stuck to it. It helped the house run smoother and I think it helped me too as I didn't just "grab" at anything to cook or takeaway because I knew when I went shopping what I was shopping for. I haven't done that in a couple of months. So next week is shopping week and thats all about to change.

Vonni

I had my comp on this page for a while without refreshing and only just saw yr post Ani Thanks!

I agree with the cost of them. His added up to a hundred or more but his mum paid for them.

He just needs to eat less butter and more fruit. He eats good vege and meat, I cook most every night and cook at least 4 veges. He eats no fruit, drinks no water and has a 500gm tub of butter a week to himself. (The rest of us marg).

You know when I was breastfeeding my bub and she wasnt gaining weight and I was sore, his mum went to this lady and she prescribed and sold to me 4 different tabs. I paid over $60 and was taking 20 tablets a day. Taking all these and remembering to take them ruled my day every day. And you know what? I think they did not ONE bit of good at all. I still had sore tits (scuse me) and she still wasnt gaining weight and still wasnt sleeping. She went on the bottle, I stopped feeding and we all got happy and on with our lives.

When thjey rule your life is when yr in trouble.

As for the antidepressants the Dr prescribed? He didn't even get the script filled. He's trying these tabs instead. Mind you they are 5 times more expensive and on a 12 hr week job for me and a traineeship for him thats a lot of money we just don't have to spare.

Maybe if I suggest to him we start having a nice walk together in the afternoon and cuddles by the fire (promise him that) he will try and not take tablets and see if that helps by just "being" together!

Hmm.. how to put this...? First off, how old is this man? Why is he listening to his mummy instead of his partner? I understand that if he's depressed, he is probably feeling lost and indecisive and doesn't know what to do, but really, he's surely old enough to deal with this as a couple, isn't he?

SAMe is a MUCH better, and more proven natural supplement for depression. I would recommend it over St John's Wort any day - SJW has a LOT of interactions with both other supplements and medications, as well as adverse side effects. Never heard of the other stuff. I actually plan to transition from pharmaceutical antidepressants to SAMe myself soon, the evidence is so promising.

I can't believe he eats half a KILO of butter in one week! How!!??? Does he just eat spponfuls of it??? Icck!!!

Can you maybe suggest walking together? Exercise is proven to make a huge difference to depression, and I know I've found it immensely helpful to how I felt. Might also give you both some time to get away and talk to each other?