mandalinn~ I just wanted to say I think it's an absolute shame that your partner's mother is acting the way she is. Obviously this is not just a "gay thing" - regardless of being gay or straight or WHATEVER you two LOVE each other... isn't that what it's supposed to be about????
Velveteen, a destination wedding so far away sounds awesome! I was thinking of doing a destination wedding, but I decided I really wanted my parents and my sister's family and Jeff's cousins and so on, and it would just be too much of a hassle for everyone to have to travel.
ballznpucks, 3 months will fly by, I'm sure! How involved are you in all the planning? I can't get anything other than, "I don't care, whatever you want," out of my fiance. This is why we have not picked a date (or even month or season) or a location (not a facility, but even the STATE in which we will do the deed)
We went to Jeff's cousins' for Easter (his older cousin and her husband and 3 sons--she was basically a mother to him growing up). She mentioned that they expect to pay for our rehearsal dinner (she said she meant his mother, but I know his mother has like NO money, so the cousin will likely be footing the bill), which I guess is how it's done traditionally. But I was thinking--do we even HAVE a rehearsal dinner? I mean, I don't really plan on haveing a wedding party. If we have anything at all, it will just be my sister as a Matron of Honor and Jeff's cousin as a Best Man--no groomsmen or bridemaids or kids or anything. So who knows...we'll just figure it out as we go along
Jill~ I've been married before and so has my FH. I would love for my family to actually give a crap and want to come to any wedding of mine, but unfortunately that's just not the case (When I married in 2002 I asked my mother to come and at first she said "no" because she hates flying this far and "what about terrorists?" ). The story is long and, well, I don't want to bore you or drive any of you away from me so I'll leave it at that
In any case, we live in the Netherlands, so Croatia and Greece are not that far away, but still bring romantic images to the mind We are going to Rhodos for summer holiday this year (with the kids) and in October we are going to Croatia (Dubrovnik) to see what we think of the place. After both trips we'll decide where to go...
Our date depends on when the kids have school vacation ~ on the one hand I hate having to plan around that, on the other hand it's REALLY important that they are there. I only worry that it's real close to their mum's birthday and I don't want to take anything away from their own mother's special day. We just have to cross that bridge when we get there. Luckily we have a great relationship with her and she'll most likely have no issue with the date.
Jill, your "rehearsal dinner" can actually be as many or little people as you want. I think the biggest thing brides come up against is fitting into a sort of traditional mold. You need to do what is best for you and Jeff. After all, it's the two of you getting married, not anyone else
Jill, your "rehearsal dinner" can actually be as many or little people as you want. I think the biggest thing brides come up against is fitting into a sort of traditional mold. You need to do what is best for you and Jeff. After all, it's the two of you getting married, not anyone else
Oh, we're definitely not doing the traditional thing--that's about the only thing we have decided so far I just meant that I don't know if you need a rehearsal dinner AT ALL since there's really no need for a rehearsal for just the bride and groom, right?
Jill,
I had a pre wedding dinner at Clyde's in Chevy Chase. That place is awesome. It wasn't a rehearsal dinner but it was basically a get together dinner for my family members that flew in for the wedding and DH's parents. I really enjoyed it since even though my wedding was small, I didn't spend most of my time with my immediate family but rather the family/friends who came to the reception.
I really just thought of it as a pre wedding dinner to get together with those that I wanted to spend a little more time with. If that makes sense. I really appreciated having the chance to do it. So you can make it your own and call it what you like or you can omit it entirely.
a "pre-wedding" dinner sounds great actually if you are not going the traditional route it's still nice to share your "last" dinner as a single person with the ones you love most. We are most likely going to go away for 5 days min and share this dinner with the 4 of us (me, R and the kids). I'm really looking forward to it and I know for sure my step-daughter is really going to love the whole ritual of all of it, as non-traditional as it will be (my step-son as well, but, you know, we girls will definitely do the "girly" thing for the wedding...)
My "rehearsal dinner" is actually coming an hour after the actual rehearsal which will be quick, and like Nelie said, I'm using it to spend more time with the people who came in from out of town or who I won't be able to spend as much time with at the wedding. Well, specifically I'm using it to get a little baby time in with Julia, the 5 month old I haven't yet met who is part of my extended family...baby time! However, the invite list can get out of hand, as evidenced by our soiree, for which people were given "courtesy" invites when Sarah's dad thought they wouldn't make it, and now they are all coming...so the rehearsal dinner is consisting of just under half of our guests :-). Ah well, it'll be fun to get together with everyone.
I'm getting married in November...and setting the date is about all I've gotten done. (Aside from choosing the groom, naturally.) The biggest thing that has me worried is the dress...I want to wait until I'm slimmer to really go shopping for one, but everyone says you need to order the dress six months ahead of time. I've been putting it off with the "Oh, I'm far too busy, I'm graduating in May and saved all my hard classes for the very end!" excuse, but I worry I'll still be dragging my heels after finals because I won't feel skinny enough. I wouldn't be so worried about the time, except that I'm very, very picky about clothing...I browse on the internet, and all I can do is point out everything that's wrong with every dress I see. *sigh*
Newbie here! I got engaged about a month ago but I've been with the boy for 6 years now. We are planning to wed in May of 08 but are thinking of possibly moving it up to March of 08 instead. I can't decide! lol I'm on Medifast and intend on losing quite a bit before I even think of dress shopping, but I can't wait!!
Congrats to the rest of you! What an exciting thing to get to chat about!
The biggest thing that has me worried is the dress...I want to wait until I'm slimmer to really go shopping for one, but everyone says you need to order the dress six months ahead of time.
I ordered my dress in a size 18, because I wanted to get it squared away. You can get the dress taken in a LOT if you find a specialist. My lady is fabulous, she specializes in refurbishment of vintage gowns for modern wearers, so she is well used to doing major size changes. My dress went from an 18W down to a 10/12 with absolutely no problems, so you may have to sink some extra money into your seamstressing, but don't put it off just because you have more weight to lose! You'll get a secret thrill every time your seamstress tells you she has to take it in more, and that alone is worth the extra money you'll spend on reconstructing the dress to match your new size.
Yay new brides! Ya'll will be able to keep the thread going long after I'm back from the honeymoon.
I just checked The Knot (by the way, people, The Knot is fabulous - message boards to get recommendations on vendors in your area, vendor search features, and interactive guest list / to-do list / budget planning tools. These were SO helpful to me. I found all of my best vendors by cruising the knot boards looking for recommendations...I even found a whole group of brides who had done their weddings at the same location that I am using, sharing ideas that are specific to the space. Its amazing and can help you find people to make your day special...most already-marrieds on there have profiles, too, with their vendor's work. So for example, if you have a bakery in mind, if you can find a Knottie who got married a few months ago and used the bakery, you can see their pictures of how the cake turned out, as well as their ratings of the vendors. And the checklist is oh so helpful.). My to-do list just reminded me that I have only 11 days to go!!!!!
Oh, and the arch my daddy is building for us makes me cry every time I think about it. He is welding it just for me on his days off, and its going to be so beautiful...my mom is sewing the fabric to cover it, and he is doing all of the welding to make it magical for us. I saw it for the first time this weekend and I am SO EXCITED.
An interesting thing happened to me when I was having lunch with one of my dearest and oldest friends.
I was talking about how I still want to lose some more weight. (Some people are of the opinion that I should just stop where I am) She smiled, said I looked great, then asked if I wanted to lose more weight to look slim on my wedding day.
I instantly replied, "no." Then I had to think about why that was my gut reaction. It really comes down to wanting to be more slim and fit, just for life. Sure, I would be happy to feel like a perfect 10, thin lady on my wedding day. But I realize that my husband to be finds me gorgeous, and I like me.
Christine - wow! What a great realization. I had to zen out over my weight loss as we approached - life happens, and I'm not just plowing toward a single goal for a single day - I am working toward my goals for the rest of my life, and wherever I am on my wedding day isn't the end-all be-all of my goals.
Lori – I think we might be living in parallel universes. My df and I will be celebrating our 6 year anniversary on April 27, we’ve been engaged for a bit over a month and we’re getting married May 25, 2008.
I’m also thinking of weight loss as a long-term/lifestyle project. After all, I lost the weight I did last year before I was engaged, and I'll be working on this long into married life. However the engagement has kick started my efforts again, I needed a kick in the pants!
We did some reception site searching yesterday, because my #1 choice is booked already! After looking around a bit I realized that I really wanted the Memorial Union for a number of reasons (on the lake, nostalgic factor, price) but alas, they actually kind of chuckled when we asked about our date. Apparently, for holiday weekends (It’ll be Memorial Day) if you don’t put your request in 18 months in advance you don’t stand a chance in ****. We like the Monona Terrace as well, but it will be a LOT more expensive. I’m just not sure what to do now. I hate to throw up my hands and just plan a traditional hotel reception, but I just don’t know what else to do?
On an unrelated note, we are supposed to get 7 inches of snow by tomorrow. Where is this Spring I've been hearing so much about?
She smiled, said I looked great, then asked if I wanted to lose more weight to look slim on my wedding day.
I instantly replied, "no." Then I had to think about why that was my gut reaction. It really comes down to wanting to be more slim and fit, just for life.
My doctor asked me the same thing. "Are you dieting just for the wedding?" I wanted to slap him and say "Yes, and I'm hoping to gain it all back the day after"... give me a break! Yes, the wedding is part of the reason I started a new diet but why is that a bad thing? I could see it being bad if it were the only reason I was trying to get fit.
Shananigans - we actually picked out date, based on availability of the church and the reception site. I had originally wanted October, but figured September 29th was close enough.
We are going to Rhodos for summer holiday this year (with the kids) and in October we are going to Croatia (Dubrovnik) to see what we think of the place. After both trips we'll decide where to go...
After looking around a bit I realized that I really wanted the Memorial Union for a number of reasons (on the lake, nostalgic factor, price) but alas, they actually kind of chuckled when we asked about our date. Apparently, for holiday weekends (It’ll be Memorial Day) if you don’t put your request in 18 months in advance you don’t stand a chance in ****. We like the Monona Terrace as well, but it will be a LOT more expensive. I’m just not sure what to do now. I hate to throw up my hands and just plan a traditional hotel reception, but I just don’t know what else to do? 
