I just don't get it! This girl has an eating disorder and we are congratulating her for it. Is it all about losing weight, no matter how dangerous or life threatening? This girl needs help, not more encouragement from this site, a HEALTHY weightloss site!
I can lose these 40 lbs. too if I starve myself and workout hours and hours a day. But I know for a fact that isn't healthy for my body. This girl has admitted she has a problem and will deal with it "later". Hello! She will never see herself as "done with trying to lose weight" because people with eating disorders don't just stop. she will probably always see herself as fat and will try to eat less and less, workout more and more, until her body can't take this abuse much longer. Are we really going to continue encourageing her?
She may look great, but please stop telling her she is doing a great job. If this was my daughter, I'd have her in therapy ASAP. Wouldn't you be concerned if this was a family member?
I'm just in shock right now and disappointed in a few members of this website. This just isn't right, IMHO. You can attack me if you want. I'm SURE this girl needs help now!
Obsessed has managed to lose a large amount of weight - and that is difficult to do, eating disorder or not. The effort and discipline required to lose that kind of weight is phenomenal. She came to 3FC looking for some kind of support and recognition - probably BOTH for her weight loss AND her eating disorder.
If everyone attacks her, she may just stop coming - which would not be doing her a favor. At least here, you can get a lot of information on HEALTHY VEGETARIAN meal plans that will allow for easy weight maintenance while still supporting your body, plus lots of other good nutrition and work out information. I think we also have a group for people struggling with eating disorders. PLEASE don't turn her away from these resources!
That said - Obsessed, perhaps you would be interested in attending your local eating-disorders anonymous group. Facing up to an eating disorder is scary, and you will probably start slow. Just sitting in on a group (without saying anything) - much like lurking on a good site like this one - can be a good start.
You know, I hate to admit it but I am quilty of only looking at the pics, while foregoing the accompaning story. And I'll bet several others probably did the same.
But, like Cardiomonster said,
Quote:
Obsessed has managed to lose a large amount of weight - and that is difficult to do, eating disorder or not. The effort and discipline required to lose that kind of weight is phenomenal. She came to 3FC looking for some kind of support and recognition - probably BOTH for her weight loss AND her eating disorder. If everyone attacks her, she may just stop coming - which would not be doing her a favor. At least here, you can get a lot of information on HEALTHY VEGETARIAN meal plans that will allow for easy weight maintenance while still supporting your body, plus lots of other good nutrition and work out information. I think we also have a group for people struggling with eating disorders. PLEASE don't turn her away from these resources!
Twice in my life I had the "self control" and "will power" to restrict calories obsessively and lose a large amount of weight. Both times, I had no plan for what would happen after I reached my goal weight. Both times, I ended up binging and gaining the weight back very quickly (the first time so quickly it left 3 permanent stretch marks on my belly). I felt terrifyingly out of control, why had my will power failed me? Now I know that it's not really a matter of will power - a body's urge to survive is typically far greater than any will to restrict. You starve the body - the body will eat. The more you starve it - the more food it will demand.
I celebrate the weight loss - but I honestly feel any weight loss method that doesn't concentrate on MAINTENANCE is doomed to failure. This third time I lost weight I asked myself from the beginning, do I want to be at my goal weight for a single day or a lifetime?
Hey I just wanted to say that you look absolutley great!!, and you can stay that way by eating right, not starving yourself! You can do it the healthy way aswell.
First I just want to say:
Losing weight is easy compared to recovering from an eating disorder.
Do we congratulate each other for our steps toward recovery, even if it means a 25lb gain? Just something to ponder.
I agree with Heidi and I also suggest any and all interested look up www.somethingfishy.com and peruse that site (including the memorials for people who have lost their lives in their struggle with eating disorders). Depriving your body of calories necessary for basic functioning will take its toll: heart failure, seizures, osteoporosis are among the consequences.
Obsessed,
You are beautiful and I hope the incredible strength of character you have exhibited in controlling your diet can help you to deal with your 'obsession' as you call it. Now is a good time to seek help, either through a support group or a trained professional. They can probably even help you deal with maintenance issues at this point. Best of luck to you and Do take care! Keep us all posted!
Finally, I'd like to point out that expressing concern about an eating disorder is NOT an attack! It is a legitimate concern and can be a lifesaving move.
Obsessed - I wrote my congrats note before I read your regimen. I have to agree that it's not healthy, although I have to commend you for participating in a healthy weight loss site and being cognizant of your own issues. Afterall, I think that's kind of what we're all trying to do. Could you maybe just seek some counseling, even if you don't instantly change what you're doing? Or add some healthy veggie protein sources like tofu or nuts? Add some strength training so you can eat a little more and still burn a lot? Whatever you decide best of luck to you and I wish you good health!
Obsessed...please, please be VERY careful...you look absolutely gorgeous at your current weight...at your height, it is ideal.
I was always a 'medium' sized child...gained some weight in high school. Once I was out on my own, I lost 60 pounds...got down to 96 pounds (5'2")...I was OBSESSED! just like you describe on your site. Every little thing I debated with putting in my mouth, the calories, the fat, even gum...I excersized like a nut, every day and the guilt I felt when I couldn't (hotel, and even then I brought my exercise tapes only to find out no vcr, lol) was awful. I would look for more opportunities to get in even more exercise...park as far away from a building as I could...walk instead of drive if I could...walk on my lunch hour, always take the stairs, volunteer to run errands at work so I could do the stairs more. It got to the point where I looked and FELT unhealthy. I lost my period...my hair started falling out...and I looked like my head was a huge lollipop stuck on a stick. Seriously.
This time around...my mom dug out some photos of that time, she is very concerned, says she'll stage an 'intervention', funny how back then even when it got to the point where I didn't really feel healthy, I thought i looked great and it was incentive to keep going...now I looked at those photos and thought, OMG!! I really did look nasty. This time around is nothing like that time. I feel awesome, I don't have unrealistic goals and I don't allow myself to become obsessed...just be very careful, you sound to me like you even realize it's getting out of control. Another thing to remember is, it takes our minds a long, long time...if ever...to catch up with the progress our body has made. You will pick apart your body "could stand to lose some here or there"...but what you see is not necessarily what everyone else sees. I bet everyone that has checked out your site thinks you look stunning at your current weight...and that does NOT mean you'll look even more so if you lose more. Good luck girl...
Last edited by twiceblessedmom; 09-14-2005 at 09:30 AM.
wow what an overwhelming response from everyone. i dont even know what to say. well i just wanna apologize first for disappearing for more than a week. i just got back from vacationing in south africa. that was really fun. its in my blog (day to day rants) for those who wondered what i did there.
secondly... thank you so much. words cant discribe my gratitude. and at the same time, heidi has a point. in fact, all of you have a point. i should be congratulated and yet i shouldnt. i guess ive brought this upon myself. im definitely more alarmed by my uh... mental disorder (if you can call it that) coz i just had my period a week ago and it only lasted for 2 days and it was very light (which is very unusual for me). that was a wake up call. meanwhile, while on the vacation, one of the people i traveled with plainly told me i was too fat at my height and weight. okay so that was no surprise huh. lol. everyone agreed i should weigh 120lbs. everyone as in the asian folks here. so i think ill make my target goal about 120 for now. better than 110lbs ive recently turned vegan as well... which was just a matter of time anyway. (by the way i turned vegan coz i broke down when i saw by products of our wildlife for sale in johannesburg)
my point is, im definitely gonna pay more attention to my eating habits. ill exercise less and focus on healthier things in life. ive come to realize that life isnt just about our weight and how we look. nevertheless, ill still be the health concious freak i am now.
im very happy to find this forum. to know that you girls are there for me. and im here for you if you ever need to talk to. my new motto now is to live healthily. not to live to lose weight and look skinny. sometimes people around you can suck. hey, i guess thats life right ?
sorry for the ranting. just thought i let you all know i appreciate you all. :hugs for everyone:
Whoever told you you were too fat was just jealous. You're gorgeous! I'm glad to hear you're trying to take a healthy path, congratulations on that, and your trip sounds awesome!
- which would not be doing her a favor. At least here, you can get a lot of information on HEALTHY VEGETARIAN meal plans that will allow for easy weight maintenance while still supporting your body, plus lots of other good nutrition and work out information. I think 
we also have a group for people struggling with eating disorders. PLEASE don't turn her away from these resources!
- can be a good start.
And I'll bet several others probably did the same.
funny how back then even when it got to the point where I didn't really feel healthy, I thought i looked great and it was incentive to keep going...now I looked at those photos and thought, OMG!! I really did look nasty. This time around is nothing like that time. I feel awesome, I don't have unrealistic goals and I don't allow myself to become obsessed...just be very careful, you sound to me like you even realize it's getting out of control. Another thing to remember is, it takes our minds a long, long time...if ever...to catch up with the progress our body has made. You will pick apart your body "could stand to lose some here or there"...but what you see is not necessarily what everyone else sees. I bet everyone that has checked out your site thinks you look stunning at your current weight...and that does NOT mean you'll look even more so if you lose more. Good luck girl... 
