FORGIVENESS
I think this can be a very hard thing to do. We hold on to things like a pacifier.
We need to keep these things close to us so that we have a reason for our failure.
We believe all the words that have ever been told to us from childhood and into adulthood.
Why do we allow this to happen?
In my case my sister repeated these words over and over for YEARS.
Fat and Ugly
Two belly
Tripple Belly
You will never amount to anything
TB from the 2 and 3 above
I believed her because she was my older sister.
I carried those words around in my psyche for most of my life.
One day I decided I had to do something about this.
She doesn't consider me her sister at all even to this day.....I have NO reason why.
I made the painful decision to DIVORCE her from my life. I wrote her a letter getting out all the things that brought me down, made me cry and made me feel so unimportant. I read it to my mom, and I let her decide what to do with the letter.
We never did send it. It was an outlet for me to bury my past.
As a young girl, I had a friend from the time I was 12 to now. I am 51 and she is still my friend. She never once said anything about my being fat, poor, wearing glasses etc. And I never said anything about her having Dolly Parton boobs, her not having but a mom, being less smart etc.
The point is, she sent me a picture of us when we were 15 and wrote on it.....Just where were you fat? This was just 2 years ago.
This impacted me and made me cry rivers of tears.
Where would I have been in my thinking if I could have seen what I really was like back then?
I really was not fat. I could have been saved all this torment from myself and my dieting woe's if I had turned off my sisters Negativity towards me.
Divorcing her from my life was the best thing that I have ever done for ME. I have had to come to grips with her not wanting me as a sister and I mourn what could have been. Only she knows the why. I have accepted this and forgiven her for all the hate, all the feelings that she incorporated into my daiily life and I have let go of MY feelings of hate towards her. It was like being reborn.
She is a wonderful friend to others, kind, considerate and would give you the shirt off her back and her last penny. She just doesn' make for a good sister.
FORGIVE someone today. Write a letter, face the person, tell a friend, BUT do it for YOU.
Let go and reap the newness that it brings into your life.
Marcie