Thanks Christian! I owe it all to the beach and the beach babes.
Loriann, those stories are heartbreaking. I want to give little Loriann a hug!

Nessa, I am sorry to hear about Bagel. Thinking of you.

Lady Nessa, my eyes teared up reading about poor Bagel. You didn't fail him, though, you did the right thing although it was a really hard thing to do. You're a good puppy mommy. :) I'm sorry you have lost such a dear part of your family and hope everything is okay.

Loriann, congrats on the noticeable loss. I'm horrified at what your mother did, however... what kind of crap was that? That was so wrong.

Ahh so Ruth and Cottage are meeting! I wonder if they are in fact talking about all of us. heheheh. :p Especially the naughty people. :o: :lol: Just kidding. Have fun ladies!
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My friend is getting me down... She's been repeatedly making plans with me and breaking them at the last minute with stupid excuses... apologizing repeatedly... but she can't call during the day to let me know she can't make it? She has to call around 10pm to let me know? She is the one who initiated the plan because we had a phone conversation the other night for hours about how she didn't want me to feel like I was being left out nowadays just because I have a baby now, and how she really misses me and how she tells her boyfriend all of the time, "I really wish Melanie was here right now..." and that she wants to regain our friendship and I was like, 'well yeah, I mean you claim we're still best friends, but it's hard to retain the title of best friend when we hardly see eachother anymore' and she agreed. She said a big source of it is the tension between she and my boyfriend, who always seems to pick a fight with me when she's around and is ultra-paranoid about her and I being alone. He doesn't have a problem with my other friends... They have never really got along from the beginning although she has tried and tried and at times he's been cool with her... it's not so much that he doesn't like her and vice versa but something about them in the same room just creates tension.

So she told me she really wants to talk to him and make things right and she wanted to come stay the night, sans boyfriend, so during the day when he was at work she and I could have alone time we haven't had in ages since we've had boyfriends and all. So I talked to him, and after a bit of arguing, he finally said it was okay. Well, called the next night to make sure the plans were still on and she said absolutely, and she would be here by noon. Never showed. We were calling them all day. After a few calls, I gave up because I'm not going to repeatedly call someone like I'm desperate... but I was angry. But BF was angry on my behalf and he has no shame, so he repeatedly called their phones. Nothing. When she called a little after 10 pm last night almost-sycophantically repeating apologies, I was just like, "oh, I'm not even worried about it... I'm not even surprised." And she was like, "please don't be mad at me!" I ended the conversation pretty abruptly, I wasn't nasty or anything but told her I had to change the baby because he woke up (true) and she was like, "well please call me tomorrow, or I'll call you"... I was like, "okay, talk to you later!" in a nice tone.. I'm not going to show how bothered I was.

I mean, we TALKED about how this sort of stuff has went on ever since I've had my baby. She hardly comes to see me anymore but when she does call, which is not all that often anymore, she'll talk about how she did this and that with the same group of friends every weekend... they always drink and that's not my lifestyle anymore although once in awhile I wouldn't mind a drink or two. But what I really want is SOCIAL INTERACTION and COMPANY. She is aware that my BF doesn't like how she likes to drink (although he's hypocritical, when we first met him, that's all he did) and told me she wanted to prove to him that she could hang out and have fun without a drop of beer, hence why it was just her coming and not the whole posse. We TALKED about how she's made plans to come over before and then all of a sudden, never showed up and never let me know what was up. So I really can't believe it happened again, after SHE is the one who initiated the original conversation about how she feels like we can't hang out anymore and how she misses me and how she really wanted to hang out like the old days and blah blah blah. At least she called this time. :rolleyes: She and her parents were cleaning out this trailer they're moving into and she said she thought they'd be done by noon, she didn't know it would take all day supposedly, and although Bf kept calling and calling and calling, only once did her mother pick up, and my BF heard her mom talk to her in the background and she was like, I'll call them later... and her mom told BF to call back later so when he did, no one picked up time after time... and apparently her father is back in town, who hates me and BF, and apparently her mom doesn't really like us as well. They did like me but they know how BF and my friend have had many a fight and think that I choose sides, which isn't true.

I called my friend's boyfriend and he hadn't heard from her either, and he said that he bet a million bucks it was her father keeping her from calling and from coming because he was back in town. And he's very controlling and she still lives at home at age 23. My friend's bf has been threatened to be shot if he goes up there.... simply because he's black. He's a great guy but that doesn't matter to them... He said he probably won't even hear from her until around 10 because that's when the parents would go to bed, and that he thinks she was acting different in front of them so she still has a place to stay. Very plausible theory... especially since I heard from her a little after 10 when she DAMN well could have called earlier. He told me she even told him how she was coming to stay the night with me.

Anyway... I don't really know. Now I don't know how to approach the situation. I'm not going to let it go because it's happened way too much but at the same time I don't know if there is more to the situation. She is the one who initiated the whole conversation and suggested staying the night. She genuinely seemed to want to come because why else did she bring all of this up? But, I don't know.

So the question is this: Drop her for good, or just resign her to just friend, rather than best friend? I've been really thinking about it. That way I won't be so upset when we can't hang out like we used to or when I don't hear from her often. Sorry for the long ranting, just had to get things off of my chest from last night.

BTW: My BF couldn't have been more overjoyed about this... he kept asking me, "You're angry with her, aren't you?" with this gigantic grin on his face. I was like, "you couldn't be more elated. and it shows." He's not very subtle.

I'm sorry I posted one of my long rambling posts. I have tried to stop doing things like that about personal stuff, has anyone noticed? :p (I'll bet, since my posts used to be so long and whiny.)

But today I'm feeling crappy and if anyone wants to read through all of that sludge and give me some advice about this, I would appreciate it a lot because I don't know what to do at this point.

Again, sorry for posting another rant. I have tried to cure myself of that habit. I really have. But it's hard!

Mel - I had a friend like that - except she lives in Minneapolis and I only get a chance to see her once or twice a year. She continually breaks plans. The last time we went up, she broke plans and left us waiting at the mall for her and her husband for two hours before we finally just went home.

I haven't talked to her since....and honestly, I feel better because of it.

Urgggh, I wouldn't have went home, I probably would have showed up at her door and raised ****. Then went home. I'm what they call a 'spitfire'. That was incredibly disrespectful and rude of that girl. (Realistically, anger aside, going home was the best decision to make, and you did well, it's the more adult thing to do, but I at times have very immature theories and ideas and decision making skills. I would have been seeing red all the way to that chick's door.)

I'm seriously thinking at this point about cutting off contact with Friend until she realizes that I'm NOT to be taken for granted where she can make plans then break them and expect to call late at night with apologies.. It's bs.

Things never USED to be like this until I had my son. She should want to be involved in his life (as she said in our phone conversation. "He's like my little nephew!") I don't understand what about having a son has made me less worthy of being treated decently by my so-called friends? I just don't understand why we had that big long conversation where she WAS sincere (I've known her for too long to not know when she's bs'ing) yet, did the very same thing again and we had just discussed all of this stuff!!!

Grrr.. I'm about to hurt some feelings. I wrote a angry blog that she will undoubtedly read but maybe that will get my point across. Like: hello, don't do this crap to me because I've put up with it enough and I'm not standing for it anymore. I take very little crap from people and I've put up with it enough from her, giving her leeway since she was my best friend but enough is enough.

On a lighter note, (random), I'm cutting out diet soda and drinking water all day long! YAY! :p (I've gotta chill out, my blood pressure's probably all crazy and I'm seething, just SEEEEEETHING! I need Anger Management!)

So, hope everyone's doing well. :p

Angry or not - we both have kids....it wouldn't have gone over well had I shown up at her door. Plus, I'm pretty non-confrontational. If she asks why I haven't been in touch, I'll tell her....but I'm not going to go painting the town red with the news. That being said, it's been about a month and I haven't heard boo.

Also, calling at 10 is pretty rude. We have a 9 p.m. phone rule...even on cell phones. The rings are loud and abrupt and almost always wake the child up. Unless it is an emergency - prepare to see the working end of my slipper if you call after 9 ;) Most people know the easiest way to get ahold of me is email anyway and our phones are pretty silent around here always.

OK, Mel, I didn't read everything, got half way down your post... With friends like that, who needs enemies? I guess what I'm saying is the more she does this the more stressed YOU are, and it carries on to baby! Is it worth it? Between the tension you have right now toward her, and the tension between bf and her.... give it some thought. Perhaps just a casual coffee once in awhile but an overnighter and her never show?


OK< I came to report that kitty is healthy. The dr confirmed URI and was not concerned, no meds :). Said it should clear up with staying in stable environment. He said I'm doing everything right by having her stay in my bed room and giving her space from doggie. He also reiterated that Jade needs to respect Kitty, so I'll keep that in mind when I'm having her sniff the cage and such. I'm taking things real slow. At this point I'm thinking to keep kitty in room for a week or so, see how she does. When Jades outside pottying I've been bringing her out for a quick tour, but not letting her down for fear that she'll get lost, at least for now.

I stopped by my son's place cause he wanted to meet her... when he asked her name I told her "Honey", he's like no.. I said "I didn't care for it, but it's what they named her and it fits." he held her, then said "HOw about Amber, it means the same thing."

So, what do you all think of Amber? :)

PS.... for those that didn't like my childhood stories, there's millions more where those two came from... but I believe the Lord strengthened me because of them! :). I love my mother, but the only thing she really taught me other than how to knead bread is how NOT to raise a family :).

Lori - I've found that sometimes the best advice that we can get is inadvertent advice like how not to do something. :) Glad that you were able to see the light after those rains...many people are incapable of becoming fully functioning human beings after terrible childhoods. Kudos.

I like Amber...sounds like a human name....we have a penchant for naming our animals human names. Our kitty is Gary, our last basset hound was Bartemis (that was DH's choice). We're looking for another basset...we miss ours terribly :(

Well lucky for me we have an "Animal Affair" going on in the Courtyard of the plant where I work. It's put on by the Human Society to promote animal adoptions. I need some cheering up so I think I'm going out and give a little TLC to some of the homeless pets. I don't dare bring anymore home with me.

Nessie -- I had a couple of newphies and just loved them to pieces. My favorite was when Cinder took a dip in the pool, walked into the living room to see me and shook. I can laugh NOW.

Smoodle -- My Ex and I did this once, I felt so guilty the entire time I was there. It was fun but not nearly as much fun as sharing with the girls. The worse part was I wanted to take home a souvenir for them but couldn't buy them anything because I didn't want them to know we were at Disneyland without them!

Mel, I have similiar issues with my BFF (or shall I call her distant friend) and she'll call and say she's coming over to visit for a bit, then calls like an hour or two later after waiting for her that something has come up - and this seems to happen ALOT with her. It basically went downhill ever since she had a boyfriend (who is now her husband) and had a kid. I hardly get to see her anymore. I just go my own way and say to myself I really have no friends and I don't care to make any unless I sense they are "True" friends, cause I can sense who is a user and who is a real friend.

Mel, wish I could cut out diet soda, but that's the only drink I can use while taking my vitamins (have to cut vitamins up into 4's cause I have trouble swallowing big pills). So diet soda I can barely feel em goin down. When I don't drink diet soda I drink the SBD powered drinks that go into bottled water. I hate reg water, can't drink it.

Can't, or wont?

Loriann I can drink it if I want to puke it up, cause that's what I feel like when drinking it, LOL

I have no trouble after eating Mcdonalds with water though, cause I get overly thirsty. Otherwise I don't get that thirsty at all.

Geez. It must be nice to have that ability to know who is going to be a true friend before you even know them.

That would have saved me much heartache.

Zeff, I agree, you did the right thing and my approach is definitely not the best way to handle things. It's part of my nature, I'm confrontational and it tends to get me in trouble. At the same time, my confrontational nature causes me anxiety because I always think, "why did I do that... why can't I be more laid back.." Then again, at the same time, I can hold things in for a really long time when I'm really trying to make a relationship work with someone and I'll be ready to blow up, thinking, "when should I say something?" My nature switches up.

I can't believe your friend never got up with you about what happened.. that sounds like my friend and how she's been, pretty much after me and BF got serious and then had a child... I just don't understand why people, especially people who are supposed to be friends, do things like that. I would never do that to a friend. There are so many two-faced people who seem to be your real friends and they're really not.. so I really treasure my friends and I treat them in accordance with that.. Sigh. The phone thing, yeah, I'm pretty p*ssed off about such a late call, although we do tend to have the phone ringing off the hook all of the time with my BF here, who is a phonehog. But, all day and no peep from her? urrgggggh.

Loriann, right now I'm thinking that constantly feeling down and alone and isolated from my friends makes me feel like, who needs 'em? My other best friend is constantly involved in my life EVEN when she's 3 hours away at university. That is a true friend through thick and thin. You had a really good point about who needs enemies with friends like that.. Thanks for the advice.

BTW: I love, love love the name Amber for a cat.

Thanks for giving me advice about the situation, guys. I appreciate it. It's not so bad being alone in this house everyday with no company when I can come here and talk to people like you guys. It makes things less lonely! I appreciate it.