Melanie.. you're so young... you really want to stay with a guy you don't trust?
No, because I can't stand the feeling of mistrust, it's a source of anxiety... but I don't know how much of this is me being intuitive, or me being downright paranoid. I get paranoid because my last bf was in fact led astray by a recently single friend and they started having the time of their life.. leaving me at home to hit up the wet tshirt contests, strip clubs, oh, and other girls. So I think because of that I am ultra paranoid... I think maybe if anything, it's my bf's friend who wants to go have fun as 'men' but my BF is trying to resist. At least, I hope he is. I dunno, I may just really be crazy paranoid. BF told me I need to see a counselor for it, only he calls it 'anxiety'.
Last edited by Fat Melanie; 07-28-2008 at 12:00 PM.
Just wanted to pop in and say hello. I've missed reading all the posts for close to a month now. We moved into the new house the first of June and the computer sat on the floor for about a month. We finally have it up at normal level on a makeshift desk.
I won't even try to read all the back posts, I think I'll just have to start with the current ones and move forward.
SBD has been a phase 2 to phase 3 for the past month also. Summer vacations and visitors...lots of excuses.
DH and I are back to phase 1 for 2 weeks to get back into the routine.
I love all the doggie pics here today! I'm a sucker for a furry face. Nessa--I've never been able to keep up with the daily thread, but your participation on this forum is inspiring and you give great advice.
Have a lovely day everyone!
Karla
I'm sorry they lied. Your right, bf should of just told you he was going with his friend and then to work. And about the trip, perhaps there's a party or something going on in Raleigh, or a concert, or something, and perhaps the one friend has females involved, I don't know.
I understand your being upset, but I'm hoping you will hear me out. Beat him at his own game. You are going stir crazy being in the house all day. Is there a lake near you? A park, or something you would like to do come the weekend? Set it up.... sometime during the week mention ... "you know, I think going to the lake would be a good time.. maybe we can pack a picnic lunch, just the three of us, and go swimming." OR, if you have family, make plans with your sister or someone, about going on a family picnic.
What I'm getting at is instead of complaining how bored you are... that just tunes men out... MAKE SUGGESTIONS... in other words... don't make a problem bigger, figure out how to resolve the problem.
Maybe even find a baby sitter, and head out for a fish fry just the two of you! or a shopping trip with the th ree of you!
Hope you figure out how to explain to him you need to get out too!!!!!!
hugs hun!
Quote:
Oh, I took it she didn't trust the bf's friend, the third party in the story! But then, she isn't trusting bf for him lying... sigh.
she's right, a strong relationship needs trust, but it also means both parties working together to understand one another and help one another understand where they are coming from. COMMUNICATION is key too any relationship. Him going to a store isn't what was bothering you, him lying about it was... Please read my above post!
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Hi Loriann, no, you're both right, I don't trust both. I think it's maybe more of the friend I don't trust, but past factors also lead me to not trust BF at this moment. Normally I do... for the most part. heh. Oh, I am sooo definitely going stir crazy, you're right. Good suggestion, it's so much easier to deal with men when ya just tell them what you're gonna to do rather than complaining, cause then they're all like "uh huh, yes dear, no dear, yes dear..." and etc. And I've got a babysitter who is my best friend's mom and who loves my son and always wants to babysit for free... so that's what I don't understand, we could do something but he always has to be with his friend recently, working... (but apparently not always working!)... He even, when he goes to the local store to pick up his cigs or some soda or whatever, will pick up this particular friend "just for the ride"... I mean come on now! It's like... get un-joined at the hip! I was thinking just making plans with my best friend to hang out on the weekend while he goes and does "work, and miscellaneous" with friend, but she's going back to college soon and has been really busy, so... yeah. Your idea is great, I should just come up with a plan and then mention it to him. If he moans and groans and hestitates though, I guess that'll say a lot...
Thank you for understanding, when you said 'him going to a store isn't what was bothering you, him lying about it was," He doesn't get that, he says "christ, now I can't even go to the store?" And I'm like, that's not what it's about... Of course a woman would understand. Thanks for your reply.
I'm fighting with my car dealership! I bought a Mazda cx-7 brand new a year ago and since then have brought it to the dealership no less than 10 times - with the same complaints, and nothing was done. They said they couldn't find anything wrong with it.
I also had to replace all 4 tires at 11k miles ($1200!!!) - and while the dealership said that the tires were fine, 4 other tire shops said that the wear patterns were very odd (even though the inflation was fine, alignment was fine, and they had been rotated at 5k intervals).
I've been trying to get ahold of both the gen. manager and the owner of the dealership for over a month. Nobody ever returns my calls. I finally had enough and called Mazda Corp. - they were very helpful. Created a file containing all of my complaints and things that I've had to pay to fix (tires, rental cars while the car was in the shop *not* being fixed) and said they would see to it that the car was taken care of, and this time either the owner or gen. manager would have to talk to me before the case file could be closed. If not, I could use it to build a case for a lemon.
I've already retained a lawyer on this - well, actually he is just our family's lawyer, but they don't know that.
Unfortunately, we're leaving on Friday for vacation - and when we get back, we will be over the mileage limit for the bumper to bumper warranty. The rep from Mazda assured me that I would have a rental car this time - on the house.
They do....but I can't just bring the car back and tell them it is a lemon and expect my money back or a new car. They need to attempt to fix it a bunch of times and have the same problem happen.
In this case, every time I bring it in - they look at it for a few days and then tell me they can't find anything wrong with it. A**holes.
When I talked to Mazda Corp. today, he mentioned that filing this complaint with them was a critical step in the car being considered a lemon. Well....that and actually filing the lawsuit. I don't want to be dealing with this right now! I have other plans to worry about and I just can't be dealing with the lawyer filing suit and doing all that crap!
I talked to Mazda Corp. again, and said that I was taking the car in for service again today (this time the service manager wants to ride in the car with me *eyeroll*) and that I wasn't going to shell out the money for a rental this time. He told me that I wasn't going to have to, and he arranged for me to get whatever type of Mazda I wanted....I wanted the RX-8 badly (DH has one), but opted for the CX-9. I want to see how much I like the third row of seats.
Anyway, I told the Mazda Corp. guy that if my car wasn't fixed the way I wanted it by Friday - they were getting the bill for a rental for three weeks and ton of mileage.
I mentioned a wk.ago that I was getting my ducks in a row for sb,and here I am..YEA!well at least for now it's yea. I've been on this plan b4,and did good,and proceeded to phase 2,and somehow got messed up there...easy for me to do once the door was open to CARBS!...actually it wasn't carbs so much as it was fruit. So this yr. I decided ..to eat fruit all summer,(last fruit yesterday),it's gone out of the house,and my chick breasts have thawed.
I did look for a recipe from last yr. that was called WENDY'S CHILI,and it was so very good. I've looked this time,and can't find it. If someone could find it I would be grateful Thanks for being here,and for being so warm and helpful. Laters~Choices
There was some discussion a while ago about the recipe being Phase III in this thread but I think it's adaptable to Phase I if you be sure to use lean beef. I'd eliminate the can of onion soup as I'm sure it's high salt and probably has HFCS and/or cornstarch.
Ack! Girls, they're passing out plates of pineapple upside-down cake and butter pecan ice cream. It's enough to make me cuss, but I'll keep it clean for you! I'm going to go get my yogurt and ignore the mmmm's. Sigh.
So I think because of that I am ultra paranoid... I think maybe if anything, it's my bf's friend who wants to go have fun as 'men' but my BF is trying to resist. At least, I hope he is. I dunno, I may just really be crazy paranoid. BF told me I need to see a counselor for it, only he calls it 'anxiety'.
Thanks for your reply. 
Laters~Choices
