Here's the big dilemma. I'm within 1.5 pounds of my goal weight. Within the past few days, one person has told me that I look gaunt and another person has told me that I'm starting to look sick. On the other hand, many people are giving me very positive comments. I've never been somebody who makes decisions about my body based on public opinion polls, but the gaunt and sick look is definitely NOT my goal. I've asked a few people what they think about the gaunt and sick comments, and nobody seems to agree. I picked my goal weight based on the highest healthy BMI for my height. Although I have serious doubts about the validity of the BMI, I am still technically overweight. The question I am grappling with is whether to continue on to my goal (so close!) or to take the gaunt and sick feedback and stop losing weight. I would love to hear other people's thoughts and experiences on this type of situation.
I was told I looked gaunt at the best weight I ever was when I was 21. What followed was a binge that ended at age 38 with me being over 280lbs! All from one comment from a girl I happened to quite fancy at that time.
Screw what those weirdos think. You look fantastic. You are fantastic! Stay just where you are and stick to that goal!
Or else risk what I am doing now trying to lose 100 pounds.
For the people who say you look gaunt and sick, what have you noticed about them? Are they overweight themselves? Or if they are of average or much lower in weight, do they put a lot of emphasis onto their own weight and body image? It might be possible that they they are either a) feeling threatened, or b) genuinely concerned because in their minds it's healthier to look a few pounds overweight (I come from a family like that) and the fact that your face looking narrow or collarbones showing means you're sick.
In your avatar you look like the picture of health to me, and happy. I wouldn't worry about the other two especially since you yourself feel happy and healthy at your current weight.
If you are at the top of a healthy BMI, I would not worry too much. Some times people say things out if concern because they are not use to the way you look at a healthy weight. Also, maybe your body is redistributing water or fat? I have heard stories of gaunt faces during weigh loss that later fill out and look normal.
I would continue towards goal, but it might be worth asking them why/where they think you're looking a bit gaunt. I don't think 140 is an unreasonable goal for your height, and just looking at your profile pic you look great. I know I had some similar comments as I got towards goal and it was because my face had hollowed out quite a bit - I had chipmunk cheeks when I was bigger so there was a noticeable difference in my face and I did look a bit too thin.
That being said, the fat did move back into my face (in a good way!) and filled in some of the hollows slowly over 6 months after I got to goal, and nobody has mentioned it since. I think the gaunt comments for me were a combination of seeing me at a lower weight but also having such a thin face and once people had gotten used to seeing me at a lower weight and the fat had moved back into my face a bit I looked "normal" again and not ill/gaunt.
If you are really in doubt, ask your doctor what s/he thinks. But I also would not take their comments too seriously. Once before when I was younger I was working out really hard and lost a lot of weight so I knew I looked fit and in shape. But people started to tell me I was losing too much weight and cautioning me not to become anorexic, etc. Finally I got enough of it and told someone... politely but firmly and honestly... "Don't be ridiculous... I weigh 170 pounds!" And I did. I am just tall and have a large build; I'll never hit the normal weight and BMI category (which is ridiculous because it does not take into account how people are built) because my BONES would not fit into what whoever wrote this stupid stuff says LOL.
From your height and weight, it certainly does not sound as if you are dangerously thin... it sounds about right. You have worked really hard to get here... I would go for the 1.5 pounds to the goal!! And people are really being rather rude to say that to you... I'd ignore them.
Last edited by Misti in Seattle; 03-23-2013 at 06:10 AM.
They probably say you look gaunt because they still have the picture of the "old you" in their minds. They associate you with a rounder face, so your more defined face looks "off" to them. If you had always been this weight I'll bet nobody would be telling you that you look gaunt. There may also be a subtle undercurrent of jealousy in their words. I join the other posters in suggesting you ignore the comments. 140 lbs at 5'4" is by no means underweight. Enjoy the new you!
Freelance
Last edited by freelancemomma; 03-23-2013 at 07:59 AM.
They probably say you look gaunt because they still have the picture of the "old you" in their minds. They associate you with a rounder face, so your more defined face looks "off" to them. If you had always been this weight I'll bet nobody would be telling you that you look gaunt. There may also be a subtle undercurrent of jealousy in their words. I join the other posters in suggesting you ignore the comments. 140 lbs at 5'4" is by no means underweight. Enjoy the new you!
Freelance
This!
As they get used to your new look, it will replace the old look in the part of their mind that identifies people. And it will become the new "normal" look for you.
I notice that in myself when I first see someone lose a lot of weight. I noticed it when Drew Carey and Alton Brown lost weight. When I first saw them, they looked gaunt to me. I wondered if they were ill. Now it looks normal to me. But it was the comparison of the "old" face with the "new" face that made me think they looked gaunt. Not comparing their new face to anyone else's face. So once I got used to seeing them like that, their "new" face has just become their normal face. And it looks fine to me now.
Judging by your profile pic and BMI, there's absolutely no reason not to go for your goal.
As others have mentioned, they probably aren't used to how you look as you enter the healthy weight category. That, or they have their own issues about weight and body image. Either way you're doing great and have accomplished a lot, good for you!
I would agree it's just a matter of people getting used to the new you. Also, when losing weight, you can look a bit "off" until things settle into their new normal.
I haven't read the other replies, so maybe someone already touched on this: I've found that when people first lose a lot of weight, they do tend to look gaunt (not just me, but I've noticed this with others as well). It could just be that the body needs some time to "catch up" with the current weight or it could be that people are so used to seeing us as we were that we seem gaunt when they see us smaller. I've gotten those same types of comments from many people (not just two) when I first lost weight, but I don't get them anymore. Beyond all logic, it seems as if the our face & body has to adjust to the new weight for a few weeks before we start looking normal (I know that makes no sense, and I don't have a logical explanation for it, but it has been my experience).
If you feel comfortable where you are, start maintenance. If you don't, then lose a few more pounds. Either way, I don't think you'll hear those comments after you've maintained for a few months.
It is, in my experience, a common reaction people voice to someone who has lost weight if the person who says it is used to the weight loser looking a bit heavier.
Personally, I would not let that kind of feedback influence my choice of body size.
Unless I actually felt gaunt and sick, of course.
Other people are irrelevant in my weight management journey. That sounds hard, but it has to be that way. It is a very individual choice.
They probably say you look gaunt because they still have the picture of the "old you" in their minds. They associate you with a rounder face, so your more defined face looks "off" to them. If you had always been this weight I'll bet nobody would be telling you that you look gaunt. There may also be a subtle undercurrent of jealousy in their words. I join the other posters in suggesting you ignore the comments. 140 lbs at 5'4" is by no means underweight. Enjoy the new you!
Freelance
^^This
I think it is just people have a mental image of what you are "supposed to look like". Your avatar looks fantastic!
Gaunt and Sick
I know I had some similar comments as I got towards goal and it was because my face had hollowed out quite a bit - I had chipmunk cheeks when I was bigger so there was a noticeable difference in my face and I did look a bit too thin. 
