Okay, C1, W8...starting to see/feel changes, and people are starting to ask what I'm doing, how I'm losing weight, etc. My problem is, I would LOVE to talk to everyone I know who's struggling with their weight about lifting, and eating right, etc. etc. All the good stuff that's finally sunk in over the past eight weeks.
But I know how incredibly boring it is to listen to someone evangelize...they get all excited, and talk too fast, and get that glow in their eyes...how much info do you guys give about your new lifestyle? Do you only give details when people ask for details? Do you tell friends about what you're doing, or wait for them to ask? Do you volunteer advice when friends are complaining about not being able to lose weight? Do you refer them to a couple of good books or websites and leave it at that?
I've gotta tell you, I can't read the 3FC Journals of people doing calorie counting, or whatever anymore...I want to scream "NO! Don't do it...the Nutrigrain Twist for breakfast is a TERRIBLE choice! And you're not eating enough calories!! You're going to fall off the wagon in a HUGE way!!"
I know I'm in the enthusiastic early stages of this whole thing, so I want to know from you guys who have been following this lifestyle long term...
beth!
afraid i can't help you out here, but i feel you pain, i do!
i visited the buyer beware page yesterday, and where i once might have shown interest in the products being discussed, i just felt, well, a mild sense of sadness, panic and impatience, if you know what i mean.
i suppose it's just living and letting live...
the calorie counters do get some results, and if they're happy with it, then we should let them be.
though perhaps we could subtly try to turn them in the right direction? i don't know...
I'm a calorie counter! If you are doing your first or 2nd challenge, or have a lot of weight to lose, you are absolutely right. But I've been at this over a year and a half, and gain fat when I do palm/fist. Just remember there is no 1 perfect plan for everybody.
As for telling people what you are doing, I've found that I tell those who ask seriously. But they usually glaze over and back away mumbling "oh I coiuld NEVER do that!" Only 1 person (well 2 if you count Laura, who was already lifting) really wanted to listen, and followed through, and that was one of my brothers. Usually I say I've changed the way I eat, cut out sugar, and do a lot of weighlifting. Very few people want any more details than that.
Yep I am with Mel. I barely give anyone information - I am not out to convert anyone - it's not my place. Every time I tried to volunteer information they would listen and then give me a million reasons why they can't do it. Now I just say similar things to what Mel does - cut out sugar, cut back on carbs, eat good fats and plenty of protein, exercise etc.
Trust me you will get over this initial phase and will become part of your life like anything else.
Hi Beth! I’m another calorie counter but instead of Nutrigrain bars for breakfast, dare I say what I am actually eating as I type this? …. cottage cheese (curds and all) mixed with chocolate protein powder ... which everyone in my family and some anti-cottage cheese activists would say is also a terrible breakfast choice!
Anyway, count me in with Mel and MrsJim and JC — I’ve gotten a little cynical about the whole subject. Since it hasn’t been that long since I was fat, I still run into people who do the classic double-take when they see me or just don't recognize me and the first question out of their mouths is “How did you do it? Was it is Slim Fast?” or Atkins or some other advertised diet or product. Or they just assume it was weight loss surgery (when I called the plastic surgeon's office for an appointment to have my excess skin evaluated, the first thing they asked was when my surgery date had been). So I say no, I joined a gym and started working out and changed the way that I eat. Then exactly what Mel described happens — the eyes glaze over (especially at the mention of “gym”, “weights,” “muscles,” “protein” etc, especially among women my age) and they back away while mumbling “But I can’t do that! I can’t go to the gym. I can’t give up bagels. I can’t …. I can’t ….” Guess what? That’s why you “can’t” lose weight! OK, off the soapbox — it always gets me worked up that people will spend so darn much time making excuses for not taking a little time to change what they are complaining about (their weight). At one point, I was threatening to get a T-shirt made to wear to the gym and for when I went out that simply said “NO EXCUSES” so that when this familiar scenario replayed itself once again, I would just point to the T-shirt.
The only exception that I make to the no unsolicited advice rule is when I am in the gym and I see a heavy woman who is obviously new. I'll always go over and say hi and try to say a few encouraging words and talk about my success because I will never forget what it felt like to be new in the gym, weighing 257 pounds, and feeling like I was a whale stranded on another planet where I sure didn’t speak the language.
I love how this thread speaks to me! I'm still in the process of my new life and I love reading about your paths and how you came to success through hard work and not through pills or gimmicks.
I too love to talk about this subject but my RL friends are bored by it. They'd rather moan about their body while reaching for another glass of wine or another bagel, (no cream cheese tho, they're on diets! LOL)
I'm glad this forum exists for us to have a place to discuss our interests, goals, failures and successes.
ps: Meg, that sounds like a healthy breakfast to me.
I know I'm in the enthusiastic early stages of this whole thing, so I want to know from you guys who have been following this lifestyle long term...
First - Beth, I hope you never lose your enthusiasm!
I completely understand your question. And I have to say I am with all the other Chick Lifters. I don't say much other than I stopped eating junk or I just eat less refined foods, go to the gym, etc. I leave it at that. If I do say anything more, I get all the reasons why they "CAN'T" ( can you hear the waaaaaaaaaa in their voices! ) Or, the other response I get is "that's the wrong way to do it." I got THAT one from the nutritionist! HA! So, I keep my mouth shut. Whcih, for those RL friends think is hoot!
The only ppl I really talk to about this are people who show intrest. Probably helps that I dont know anyone or have any friends/aquantences tho. (is this a good thing?)
My sister did BFL but didnt finish her challenge. I think (Warning: Oprah-ism here) she keeps the weight on to protect her from her feelings, so I dont preach to her. When she is ready she will do it, but she has a lot of personal stuff to work thru first.
I DO get frustrated when I hear people talking about the lastest fad diet, and see "poison" signs on all kinds of products now lol (im hallucinating or something). I also have the urge to deface slim-fast ads.
My family is really proud of me, and my mom started going to the gym, so I think that I've done my bit If anyone asks about nutrition, I share what I know, in a open way.
I am with the majority also on this. I get looks all the time from the people that I work with because "You are always eating so much and you stay so thin.....how do you do it?" I used to try to explain and always got the same thing "Your so young, when you get older that will change. I used to want to be healthy too." WHAT???!!!!! Since when does growing older mean letting yourself go? So now I just eat my food and prepare it in the kitchen in silence, when someone asks I just mutter something like I weightlift and watch what I eat and that usually makes them run screaming from the kitchen with their sugar filled coffee full of creamer and their donut hanging from their mouths.
Some of the best comments so far that I have received:
"You may be healthy, but at least I will die happy" - Wow, guess all of us into fitness are all healthy, unhappy people!
I once had an 80 year old man who is at least 50lbs overweigh in my office telling me how to lift weights! What a joke!
Anyway, I could go on and on. Keep it simple so you won't get discouraged when others decide to try and put you down to make themselvs feel better. That is all it is, plain and simple!
Jamie
Jamie I've heard the one too about dying happy instead of healthy!! ARGGGG.... I can't believe ppl sometimes... there is only one person I can talk to about hi protein and BFL lifestyle, and that's my Sunday pardner and YOU guys... Thank goodness you are all here....
I detest the one: "But I'll bulk up with weights!!"
I feel like telling them... "Quit your whine and get back to your wine!!"
I don't have much time to post... so I'll see yas all laters...
Hi!
I lurk here on the BFL boards a lot...I am a calorie counter, but we shouldn't all be lumped together as makers of bad food choices... I weight train religiously, and eat plenty of protein, and avoid high sugar refined products like Nutri-Grain,Pop-Tarts and Snackwell's-no matter if they are low fat, or low calorie, or what have you. I eat regular spaced meals, try to eat clean foods when possible-and I try to give the same advice to the girls on the calorie counting and WW threads. I encourage them to pick up the weights and not to starve themselves. I am not on BFL with the challenges, etc. but I am well educated in weight training-my stepfather is a bodybuilder. (I count calories, but not the 1980's 1000-1200 losing muscle calories a day plan-only using pink 1 pound neoprene weights, etc.)
I think you all are great here, but a few of the comments above about the "girls on the low calorie/general diet plans threads" kindof struck me, and I wanted to let you know that we are not all eating that way, or afraid of weights. I am proud of my "big guns" I am aquiring-I am getting great shoulders and 'ceps!
Aphil
i can't not talk about it...i bored my ex bf to tears.....and now whenever we speak and he says hes *now* working out (one thing he would never do while we were together) he refuses to listen when i say don't work out the same muscle two days in a row and Hungry Man frozen meals might not be the best choice for anything....
my parents i bug constantly about it...sigh.
i'm no good though, i drink too much wine and am enticed by my fathers cooking too many times a week......at least twice!
i live with him and hes a good cook =/
seriously no one else has even taken the slightest notice of my losing weight or my (to my eyes) bulging biceps....*except* for the really cute guys that work at the gym. and they're huge so i'm hoping one day to have a date that might actually understand...
also and this is a complete digression, i couldn't help being slightly gratified noticing the girl at the gym with huge implants and the noticeably flabby yet thin body whose booty i could kick in a foot race or arm wrestling any day of the week...small victories right lol
and aphil, of course you're right, generalizations are always bad.
heh
i do calorie-count roughly, i admit, and i'm sorry if i offended anyone, but the eye-rolling was directed mostly at the type of dieters who'll have a slice of chocolate cake for lunch and one piece of kentucky fried chicken for dinner and declare themselves fine because of the relatively-low calorie count...
I'm sorry if I offended those who calorie count, but I can assure you my frustration is directed at the whole industry who convinced entire generations of women (and men) that the only way to get healthy was to eat LESS LESS LESS. The rampant eating disorders, disordered eating, and rising rates of obesity should be enough to convince us all that that was NOT the way to live.
I look back at the misery I caused myself in my life, the years spent chasing losing 'those last ten pounds', the crappy self esteem issues, the money spent on garbage products that were no-cal, no-nutrition. Oh my, I think I'm having a Susan Powder moment!
So as we've discussed elsewhere on this forum, whatever works for you in our quest to be lean and strong. And I will try to keep my enthusiasm for pushing weights in check...at least around non-believers.
How do you NOT talk about BFL/Weight lifting?
I have to applaud you all!
I weight train religiously, and eat plenty of protein, and avoid high sugar refined products like Nutri-Grain,Pop-Tarts and Snackwell's-no matter if they are low fat, or low calorie, or what have you. I eat regular spaced meals, try to eat clean foods when possible-and I try to give the same advice to the girls on the calorie counting and WW threads. I encourage them to pick up the weights and not to starve themselves. I am not on BFL with the challenges, etc. but I am well educated in weight training-my stepfather is a bodybuilder. (I count calories, but not the 1980's 1000-1200 losing muscle calories a day plan-only using pink 1 pound neoprene weights, etc.) 
lol 
