Hi everyone. I’m new to the group and hope to get and give help losing weight.
I told my wife, I was researching different things to help curb my appetite, and that I know I need to lose weight for health reasons. My blood pressure is 145/85, and I know it is because of my weight.
Boy my wife gave me a lecture today: Don’t you care what you look like? If you don’t lose weight, you’re going to die. You need to stop all salt and sugar. You need to exercise. You need to stop snacking, no more pies, no more cookies. I wonder she’s saying why be alive.
My wife keeps her weight off by using ‘Fit for Life’. She feels since it worked for her, it will work for me. All I need to say is that this diet is so restrictive that I wouldn’t want to live anyway.
I have been on diets before, but now I’m in my mid 40’s and I want to go on a diet that will become a way of life, something I can stick with not just a crash diet. I would like to get down to 195 in a year. I might appear on TV in 2013. Hopefully not a fat duck.
I have very little time and not much money to spend. I work two jobs supporting my family. It seems I started to put on weight when my daughter was born 10 years ago and when I had my gall bladder removed. Since my surgery, I can no longer stomach those protein bars, skipping meals, eating a whole plate of raw vegetables, dumping down mega fiber.
So I feel stuck. I feel I’ll never get this weight off. It seems most diets put me in a depression. I need help finding something that will work for me for life. I think I need a natural way to suppress my appetite. Then maybe later if I can find the time, exercise. My job does have me hike about a mile once a week through the mountains.
Oh you have come to the right place BarneyBoy! 3FC's forum has a wealth of information from all sorts of people and we will definitely help and support you on your weight loss!
Since you have the right idea (avoiding crash diets/fad diets and focusing on 'lifestyle changes') I highly recommend counting calories as a gateway to a better life. It allows you to have those pies and cookies that you want oh so badly, but in moderation and at a level that is healthy for YOU.
You WILL get this weight off. There have been members here who were twice your weight but without your height and who have made it. Please check out the 'Goals' thread, it may help motivate you!
As for now, I say start a food journal - log everything you eat and see how many calories you are consuming (and I do mean EVERYTHING - including that bite or two of pasta/pie/french fries). Start an excel spreadsheet or join websites such as myfitnesspal.com or sparkpeople.com and plug in your data.
Then figure out how many calories you need to consume to maintain and how much to consume to lose weight (one of my favorites is this one: http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm) Once you have a good idea it should be a bit easier to simply curb how much you eat to fit the numbers listed.
I also recommend to pick up light exercises at first so you don't get bored or burn out. At some point during your day I highly recommend a brisk 30 minute walk (unless you know you can do more.) Its just 30 minutes of your day, not even an hour. Surely you can dedicate that many minutes for yourself and your health, can't you? You can even split it into two 15 minute walks if you really are short on time. 1 mile a week at work is definitely not enough exercise but don't discount it, just pad it up a bit more (is it possible to see if you can hike 1.5 miles next week for your work?)
After a few weeks, see how you feel and experiment; try to do a bit more than walking (perhaps weight training on your off days? Or do an activity-based outtings rather than food based since your wife is also trying to lose weight, etc.) Don't stress about it too much, but I warn you, when you find your groove and you see the numbers start to shift it can get rather addictive (and sometimes frustrating!)
Last edited by DesertTabby; 01-14-2012 at 03:01 AM.
Hi BarneyBoy, I'm new here, too, but I'll welcome you anyway.
It sounds like you are in a similar situation as my husband. He's around 270 / 5'11" and has been told to cut out as much fat as possible from his diet, avoid cholesterol, quit drinking soda's, eat beef at most once a week, and aim for 1800 calories a day. His doctor told him to eat more chicken and fish (white meat fish is better than, say, salmon or tuna, but any fish is better than beef), don't fry anything, and get some exercise.
He eats about 8 oz of baked fish or chicken (roughly 220 calories), a cup or two of salad (about 10-15 calories), a cup or two other vegetable: green beans, broccoli, zucchini, etc. (various calories, all pretty low), 1/4 to 1/2 warmed and buttered Lavash bread (25-50 calories), and a cup of sugar free jello for dessert (10 calories). His plate is literally heaping with food, but the calorie count is remarkably low, as is the carb and fat count. Protein, on the other hand, is high and keeps him feeling full for the evening which lessens his urge to snack on junk food. This is also similar to his lunch when he is home. This type of meal could be eaten 4x a day and still be within his calorie goals. When he is away, he relies on things like leftover chicken breast sandwiches, tuna fish pouches, 40 calorie per slice bread and Atkins shakes and bars (not 'protein' bars), and pre-packaged jello and pudding cups (to satisfy the sweet tooth). He is in remote places usually without means to cook or reheat food when he is at work, so he does the best he can and doesn't kick himself too hard for eating the 'wrong' things when that's all that's available. He just picks up when he's back home and sticks to the 'good' menu. When he's lucky enough to be able to reheat food, he takes 'to-go' plates with him from home.
If you take a look at the numbers for baked or grilled chicken and fish, and various steamed/grilled vegetables, you might find that you can actually fit a lot of food into 1800 calories a day. Pasta and rice can even fit in there nicely, although the carbs would rise signifigantly. We were really surprised at the amount of healthy food he could have vs. the caloric equivalent in his usual foods (hot pockets, pizzas, and the like). It's a no-brainer. 1800 calories/day may even be too low for you.
I really hope this helps you some. I've watched my husband go through the same struggle with wanting to lose weight and regain his health, but feeling helpless because of his work schedule and other demands that make it difficult to stick with anything. It IS do-able, though, and it doesn't have to include restrictions and constant hunger. If you can honestly say at the end of the day that you've done the best you could do, then I say that's good enough. Grab a good night's sleep and be ready to start all over the next day! Being proud of yourself is a great motivator to continue you to your goals.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll get to right where you want to be!
Do yourself a favor and diet smart, not hard. Don't set yourself up with a program that fails you. Respect the calorie...it is the bottom line of any and all diets. When you find the amount of daily calories necessary to maintain your current weight, cut up to 500 from the total and not more. This isn't a sprint--its a marathon. You'll lose the weight, you'll reach your goal, and you don't have to starve yourself to get there or make it harder than it needs to be. In the long run, a well designed plan that personally suits you will be the key to your success. Good luck.
Neither a diet nor an exercise plan needs to be fancy nor have a name. Read lots here at 3FC. See what other folks are doing. A few little changes can make a huge difference!
Another calorie counter, here. Calorie counting does not have to be expensive, you eat ordinary, real food. Calorie counting will allow you to take off those unwanted pounds and teach you how to keep them off.and BarneyBoy , it is free ! Good luck.
Another calorie counter, here. Calorie counting does not have to be expensive, you eat ordinary, real food. Calorie counting will allow you to take off those unwanted pounds and teach you how to keep them off.and BarneyBoy , it is free ! Good luck.
I am a calorie counter too. I've had my gallbladder removed also. I also deal with a few other physical issues like lots of arthritis but have managed to come a long way with moderate diet and exercise. I have started over from scratch and reached many fitness goals I wanted to meet. You can lose weight, feel good and be in good shape and it doesn't have to cost a lot of money or make you feel crazy.
My plan is calorie counting on a high protein, moderated carb diet, working out within my body's limits.
This site is a great resource and I am sure you're gonna find great info here. Welcome!
Your wife was being a little extreme, but that is because she doesn't want to become a widow. There is a man on here, LarryH that has in his signature line, or at least used to that was a line his cardiologist used. It was something like, "look around you, do you see any old, fat men? No? Because they die before they get old.". I'm totally mangling that, but you can get the gist.
And weight loss is a very personal journey. What works for one person, won't work for another. Your wife could do her program, you'll find what works for you.
What I will say though, simple sugars arer addictive so the mere idea of giving them up is that of an addict, "how can I give them up?". Well, I had to give things up becausenofblood sugar issues, and what was so shock was that after a few days, I didn't miss them any more! Once my body was rid of simple sugars, it didn't crave them. My kids can be eating candy in front of me and I don't want a piece. However, if I start eating them, I can't stop eating them and have to go through cravings for a few days to get over it.
But, over time, I have found foods that feel like cheats that satisfy the cravings and don't do the damage... Like many Atkins products. While I don't like relying on artificial stuff, it helps me of the hump on days I'm craving sugars. I ound low carb protein shakes are great. I just discovered defatted peanut butter tastes great and keeps me full... You just have to experiment. Starving yourself and denying yourself will lead to failure, so just keep trying different things. Mix things up if you get bored and most of all, take it one day at a time.
Welcome! Your wife loves you and wants you in her life for years to come! I feel the same about my husband he was at 286 5'9 and he joined Weight Watchers 2 years ago when we both decided to change our lives. It did wonders for him and he loves it and lost a total of 86 lbs however he has gained some back and he is right back on it again.
I 100% agree not everything works the same or is right for everyone. WW does not work for me it is not the program it is me I tend to use all my points for sweets, sugar, pies, cookies, etc. For me what worked is counting calories and making a decision that every calorie I put in my mouth would have a benefit to my body so instead of spending 100 calories on a browning "diet" snack I could have yogurt and fruit or other things that were actually good for me.
Money is tight you say? I am with ya there.......so to help you on two of your issues, money and needing to feel full....BEANS BEANS BEANS. They are very cheap and very filling. I will eat a surving with protein every single day. The combo of protein (turkey, chicken etc) and the beans keep me full for hours.
Even today when my husband complains he is STARVING I give him beans and he is always shocked how long they keep him full.
You can do this start slow and move forward every day just a little more.....walking is free, check out your library for some awesome workout DVD's you would be suprised just turning of the TV and maybe even walking up 30 min early say 2 days a week that you can fit in even 30 min of exercise which will make a huge difference in your health.
What a silly thing to say, "if you don't lose weight, you're going to die." Well last I checked, we ALL die eventually, so that little theory goes caput doesn't it?
More seriously though, I know how you feel about sucky diets. I'm on a really restrictive diet (well, it's restrictive to ME....I think partially because I'm extremely picky eater to begin with), and I will not live the rest of my life on this diet. It's just not worth it. But I'm in a program supervised by my doctor and he *says* that in the first phase of the diet, it's foods that matter the most to get the weight off but in the second phase (after I reach my goal weight), then it'll be exercise that is most important to maintain that weight....so the diet is supposed to relax a little. Certainly not like I'll be free to eat whatever I want, but [hopefully] liveable.
Have you been to a nutritionist? I heard they're supposed to help you figure out what foods you like and don't like (or can and cannot eat) and help create a reasonable diet based off of that. I haven't been to one personally, but my sister did in college and she highly recommended it.
BarneyBoy, I can assure you that your wife meant well even if the words she used were harsh. When I first went on a diet spree last year, I was always trying to get my boyfriend to follow me. I was a bit full of myself to think that what worked well for me would work well for him too. Since then, I've eased up and just let him do what works for him.
I calorie count and have just taken up C25k - a program that gets you from couch potato state to jogging or running a few miles in 9 weeks. If you google it, you'll be able to find the plan from a website called cool running.
Another suggestion - invest in a pedometer. You can get one fairly cheap and use it for, say a week, to take an average of how many steps you're taking. I'm not sure of your line of work, but even if you work in an office environment then you can try to take a lap around the office every hour or so during work to add more steps to your day - it's what my mom and her co-workers do.
No matter what, just keep trying different things until you find what you like. We're here for you
I guess a couple things. You need to find motivation to achieve a healthy weight that matters to you. Changing because someone else tells us to rarely succeeds. Find reasons that will motivate you.
Your comment that a diet your wife has suggested would make life not worth living was extremely concerning- it sounds like your primary reason for living is food! I'm sure (I hope) that you were using hyperbole, but regardless it sounds like you need to find a healthy style of eating that you can use long term, you need to find other things that you enjoy besides food.
Many diets allow you to eat ANYTHING you want, so long as you keep your calories in check. That can work for people who want variety but can control their intake. Other diets severely restrict certain types of food, but not volume. There's lots of options, I'm sure you'll find something that works for you.
Welcome to 3FC, and stick around. This is a great place to find motivation and to discuss your daily challenges with other people going through the exact same issues.
Wow, I’m touched.
I had no idea you all would care so much about me losing weight.
THANK YOU very much.
Because of you all, I now have an extra push to lose this weight. To tell you the truth, I’m a little overwhelmed with the amount of help and information with 3FC.
Today, I signed up with myfitnesspal as suggested and keeping a food diary. It’s kind of fun. You can also download the app for your android, so I’ll be able to track what I eat at work too.
I got my suggested calorie needs from freedieting.com which is maintenance 2164, fat loss 1731, extreme loss, 1560. I don’t understand what it means, but I’m assuming I need to keep my calories to 1731 for weight loss. Today, my calorie intake was about 2900. I have to do some major trimming. I don’t know how and what, but I am getting some good ideas here.
Some say to eat beans, or eat more veggies. I do love rice. I think it is because I was raised in Hawaii. My father was in the Army. And, boy do we love rice. I guess it going to have to go or be small portions.
One of you said I might have a problem with food, thinking I live to eat. You could be right. I never thought about it before, but I could be eating to stay awake and as a way to handle stress, but then maybe not. Anyway, you gave me something to think about, or worry about.
Okay enough for know. Thanks for all of your help. You have given me a great start.
Others have already posted good advice, but I wanted to share that My Fitness Pal has been a godsend to me. I absolutely love it. Before using it, I was tracking my calories in an excel spreadsheet. MFP is easier to use. I love the interface and the fact that after you complete a daily entry, it estimates how much you would weigh in 5 weeks if you keep it up.
A bunch of 3FC members have become friends on MFP. You can friend me at twish7. Here is a thread where other 3FC members have indicated that they want to be friends on MFP. http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/calo...t-friends.html
It has been great to have that extra support on MFP and to see how others are doing.
You can totally do this. You are on the right track and you will find all of the support a person could hope for here!
My wife said if I don't lose weight, I'll die?
Wow, I’m touched!
