I'm a 26-year-old college student studying Early Childhood Education (that's day care through third grade). I started yet another semester as the fattest person in the room, doing all the fat girl jedi mind tricks on myself to make sure that I failed myself socially. It's frustrating.
I've been babysitting on Thursdays, an infant, so there is some time spent watching TV while the baby naps for 1-2 hours at a time. I started watching I Used to be Fat on MTV on demand. I am not a reality show person--unless I would like to be the person on the reality show, if that makes any sense. The ghost of some hyper-motivated trainer controlled my hand into clicking on 10-minute workouts on demand, and I started doing those in-between TV shows.
This has only been a couple weeks. Of course I've dieted/exercised before. I have a disordered relationship with food, so diets/exercise tend to turn into either overly restricting/obsessive counting or huge, ritualized binges. I'm not an active person, but I like dancing, yoga, and exercise machines are fun.
The Motivation
These are my last 2 years of college (there have been about 8 before this, although to be fair to myself, I have done a lot of things since I graduated high school), and it's my last chance to have the time, the free gym membership, the lack of rent or car payments (live with parents, car's paid off) to really focus on myself.
The Goal
I want to be healthy--I want to be a good example for the children I'm going to teach. I want not to stick out like a sore thumb constantly. I want to like myself. Right now that's going from 251 (today) to 180, which is no longer obese (I'm 5' 7"). I will be happy with myself for any step forward.
I hope to make some supportive friends (and to be a supportive friend!) to some people in my situation or my age or teachers or anyone who will have me I suppose. I am striving not to make the mistakes I have before: overly serious, melodramatic, being embarrassed, and getting ahead of myself.
Welcome from another 26 year-old long-term student! This is my 10th spring semester in post-secondary education... Maybe I'll leave eventually, but as you say, for now, the free gym membership is a nice bonus.
I've found a lot of great advice and motivation on this site so far, hopefully you will too. Good luck with your efforts!
Welcome, Glad to have you join us. My advice is to look for a Support group, Chat, or Challange to join; small groups make it easier to get connected. Most sub-forums have groups covering almost every need, find one that inspires or motivates you and just post to join.
I guess there are a lot of us "Professional College Students". After having to pay for college out of pocket for years, sometimes my pockets and brain needs a break! 24 years old and I'm still not done with school, but I refused to go this semester because I'm getting married in what would be the middle of the semester lol
Good luck on your journey! We're all in this together! See you on the other side of healthy, monstermash!
My name is Jennifer, and I am a 26 years old mother of a beautiful 5 year old son. I am new here and have also made a professional student career(7 years on and off due to issues). It has many reasons...my love of education and knowledge, my ADD and the fact I suffer from depression/anxiety/PTSD. I made my choice finally lol with the proper assistance and will be doing my nursing clinical this fall.
But I digress...
My whole life really has revolved around food as pleasure and comfort coupled with social rejection. I can remember being 11 years old..5'5, a size 16/170lbs with 36dds. It was brutal and definitely had a serious effect on my life. I believe because of this I also have a distorted relationship with food. Everything is extreme. I would binge alone to the point I disgusted myself. If I had a horrible day I found nothing wrong with buying some fast food and a birthday cake. I cured that sadness-for the moment. And then it was back to my reality of over sized long shirts, sweaters, and no beach for me.
I've also been the total opposite. After I had my son; I gained 80 pounds in roughly 6 weeks. A few months later when I finally stepped on the scale and I was a shocking 250 pounds. The absolute biggest weight I ever had reached. I had to do something extreme immediately. So I constructed a 500 calories a day diet. I stayed with it for a few months and then began to eat more and exercise daily. I lost 50 pounds. Didn't reached under the dreaded 200 though.
That was 4 years ago and I had maintained my weight around 205-220. I knew I was depriving myself of a life and settling all because of my weight. Last June I stepped on the scale and I was 216. Nightmare.
I was done. I refused to be the girl who had the "pretty face" and icky body. I would call myself a buttabody..."everything's hot but my body." Since then; I have lost 66 pounds. I cannot say I'm exactly proud of my methods. I'm not starving myself or doing any purging/dangerous. I just fear food. I have several medical issues that effect my daily life so I'm never sure what will be the problem for the day. My 5 year old son has Autism and that is a book of stories. I totally understand the struggles and then ontop your dealing with side issues. I do feel better of this accomplishment. I by no means consider myself skinny. I'm going through some serious issues because, I still see in a way that size 16 woman who has to cover every inch to hide. I've decided to take a break with clothes and just focus on being in a better state of mind.
I want to lose 25 more pounds but in a healthier way. That's my goal. I do apologize for the extreme venting and ranting. Sometimes it's easier to empty your emotions and this in this form.
I will say that congrats to you monstermash for giving yourself what you deserve-being healthy. Like my son said today, " You can do whatever you want to do-just believe". Be positive.
no longer the fat girl, now just a fat woman
