Hi and welcome.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
This is SO true....and you're starting out with a great attitude just acknowledging it.......right along with "nobody can really fix you except you" and "the only person whose behavior you can control is yours".
On the subject of the clothing....now this is speaking only for myself...but one of the biggest things I hated was the constantly tugging down of my shirts/tops. And once I realized I was doing it, I suddenly began to notice that many other overweight women were doing it....including Oprah on her show.
And it's kind of difficult to explain why I hated this so much....but I think part of it was that once I started noticing other overweight people doing it....I realized how totally futile it was. That it hardly changed your appearance.....yet I/we were compelled to keep doing this out in public...like some child trying to hide something bad....and I felt it was pathetic, I guess....and sad. For me, it was the manifestation of how we felt inside about being overweight out in public....no matter what we said or tried to tell ourselves (that it didn't matter). I am SO happy to not be doing this anymore...I can't even tell you. But I rarely hear others mention this and to be honest, I did not even realize I was constantly doing it until I suddenly became aware of it.
Also...and again, this is just for me/my opinion.....but years ago I used to go and work-out at the gym and I truly felt fabulous while I was exercising and also afterwards. But at the same time, I was often having to force myself to go and would come up with every excuse in the book not to go.....a hangnail, it was raining, it was TOO sunny, etc.
And eventually, I determined that for whatever exercise I chose....that if I was having to force myself to go....it was not gonna work for me for the long-term. And sure, we can lose lots of weight with a really aggressive diet and working out/exercise program.....but then we have to keep it off....which can be even more difficult than losing it, we come to learn.
So *I* walk while listening to my ipod....because I LOVE it and can't wait to do it daily...and even do it several times daily often...and get upset when it rains or it's slippery out so that it's not a good day to do it.
And I've been doing it for years....so very maintain-able for ME.
However, there are many here who love working out in the gym and look forward to it. And for them, it's great. I don't have a problem with working out in the gym.....the issue for me is...how much do you love it? Do you tend to avoid it a lot? And is it maintain-able for the long term?
And BTW....this also applies to your diet/eating plan of choice. IF you feel you are being deprived and can't wait until the day when you can finally get off it...or are constantly hungry? It's not a good plan for YOU because it's not sustainable for the long-term. And really, what's the point of losing it if you're gonna gain it right back? In fact, regaining can often be much more challenging than losing it in the first place was.....and can even be much more demoralizing than just being/staying overweight.
And every possible eating plan under the sun is here on this board for you to read about and investigate.
Oh....and another tip is to STAY on this board....and NOT quickly disappear like some do. HUGE advantages....support, information, motivation and being accountable. A great first step.
deena
Oh...and one other thing...since I chose you to sit here at 6 am. and pontificate to....and I may have some difficulty wording this....but both times I lost all the weight I wanted to (with Atkins, for me).....I would...well, I remember looking out the window one day and thinking, "well, I got here. And it's fantastic. Nothing ever tasted as good as THIS feels now"......and I would remember all the times I put it off....gave up before I ever even started......and how every year, at family functions, I would yet AGAIN dread having to go, knowing I'd be the fattest sister/sister-in-law there and that they'd try to hide their side-long glances at me.
And I think what I'm trying to address is the issue of TIME. When we start out, it seems so overwhelming.......and is gonna take SO darn long. That can defeat us right from the start. BUT....I came to realize that....let's say it had taken me 8 months or even a year to get to my goal weight......8 months is 8 months. And a year is a year. That time was gonna pass whether I was fat or a normal weight. Nothing was gonna stop the passage of time, regardless of what I chose to do....and the result would be me dreading others seeing me or looking forward to it and having a great time.......yet again, and again and again. Unless I chose to use the time to get to where I wanted to be.
And then here I was, finally, having used the 8 months or a year to get where I wanted.....after having blown so many opportunities, so many 8 months or a year.....and ended up in the same place. And that when you think about it.....how LONG it's gonna take you doesn't matter. It's all about WHERE you are going to be when that time passes.....because it IS gonna pass, no matter what weight we are. And probably like me....when you finally get there, you will look back and realize that it wasn't all that long...or that difficult...and that time didn't matter because it's not how long it is....it's what you DO with it....because it's gonna pass regardless of what you do. And it's your choice to be in the same place at the end of it or to be where you want to be. Hope this made some sense.
Not to mention, you don't have to be at goal to feel great....once you start losing the weight in increments it will be hugely rewarding....so the whole journey can be great, really. The most difficult part is often just getting started.
Tomorrow will be better.
