So, an instructor of mine told me in November that my son (11 months at the time) was old enough for time outs, and was agast when I explained that to that point the only things he did wrong warranted nothing more than a slap on the hand, so that's what i did.
Did being the operative word.
Now that he's turned one, it seems like over night he's become an ornerey brat. he throws tantrums, hits, pulls hair, bites...it seems like it never ends.
My question is, is he really old enough for a time-out? and if he is, how do I put him in time out and treat it in a way he understands?
If you truly want to enforce a time out, a good time frame is one minute for every year of age - or in this case 1 minute. You will have to sit with him for that minute. Though, up until 18 months, "re-direction" is the preferred method of consequence for infractions. Remove him from the situation and get his attention on something else - a toy, a book, playing a game with you (peek-a-boo, singing, etc.)
I can't imagine that at a year, he is biting for malice. He may be biting due to teething, the need for attention, or just plain curiosity. Remove the object he is biting, and give him something appropriate to gnaw on such as a teething ring. If he is really chewie -you can wet a wash rag, ring it out and freeze it. Babies love the texture.
As far as tantrums go - I find that if I sing and offer a favorite toy, it takes less time for them to calm down. At a year old, his attention span is about a minute. If he cries longer, then it's not social. It's hungry, tired, alone, afraid, hold-me, ouch, etc.
How much does he sleep? An infant a year old needs 14-17hrs of sleep. He should be taking a short nap in the morning (45min or so), a couple of hours after lunch, and sleeping 12 hours at night. I've had sleep deprived infants...(((shudder)))...it's NOT good.
I hope I don't sound like a know it all. I have 4 children ages 11y - 8mo and have a home daycare with infants and toddlers. I don't know much, but I've sure seen a lot!
Hang in there!
Last edited by mortonpixie; 01-06-2010 at 09:36 PM.
I agree with mortonpixie--
I don't have children, but I do teach special needs 3 and 4 year olds, some of whom are at a 8 to 12 month stage developmentally. Redirection can be very effective, especially to those too young to understand the concept of time outs.
I am going through this too, though my daughter is 2 already. She has had issues listening, still does to some point, but I am sure that comes with age.
Anyways I have always heard that you put them in Time out for 1 min for every age, like the other ladies have said. He probably won't understand why he gets put in time out or what it is necessarily until you enforce it over and over and over and over lol.and I mean over again. Eventually he will get the point. But like I am sure everyone has told you, just be persistant with him.
Believe me girl. I know it's frustrating. I am there with you. Sometimes I feel like yanking my hair out or screaming. lol. I guess PATIENCE really is the ulimate KEY.
This too shall pass, and one day we are going to look back and wish they were that cute, huggable, tiny baby they once were.
Oh, and I don't think your instructor should have a say. You raise your son how you want too. If you think he is not ready for time outs then wait. Don't listen to anyone. I am sure you're a great parent. Everyone parents and believes in discplining in different ways.
The only reason I listened to her at all is because she has 3 children who are now healthy adult who have a positive impact on society and she was a pediactric nurse before she was teaching. Also at my school classes as always less than 30 students and at this point in my program is always less than 15 and you have the same 3 instructors for EVERYTHING, so she knows me well.
Anyways, he is biting and hitting out of angry frustration. it started with furniture, is a couch or chair was near him when he got pissed he'd bite it, hard. My mother warned me it was only a matter of time before he bit me. A week and a half ago, it did. My husband and I were sitting on the couch and to keep my son from crawling under the computer and playing with the mouse I put my arm across the gap between the couch and coffe table and he bit me. Hard. I had teeth marks for almost the entire day. If you take something from him, he'll hit you and if he can reach, he pulls your hair.
I generally redirect him, but lately that causes more frustration and he clings on you reaching for whatever he can't have.
I think I'll try time-out to see how it goes. 1 minute is not too long to sit with him, and hopefully he bahaves better since he has to start day care soon-ish.
any advice on how to get an 11 month old to sleep longer at night?
My little guy has never been a big sleeper, but neither was I apparently.
He naps for a bit in the morning, an hour or so in the afternoons, but he is never asleep for more than 6 hours at night with out getting up . . . and then sometimes he's up for another hour or two before I can get him back to sleep for maybe another hour.
I know kids his age are supposed to be sleeping a lot, he just doesnt, never has.
Is it possible that he's just one of those kids that doesn't sleep alot? He's not a cranky kid except when he's REALLY tired, and even then, he has a hissy fit and with in 15 minutes, he's asleep.
So... you hit him and then are surprised when he starts hitting you? If you wish to teach him non violent ways to communicate a GREAT start to it not be violent with him.
Redirection is the ONLY thing I use for my under three year olds (and I'm raising three kids 8,6 and 3 and run a daycare) and NONE of them hit or bite anymore.
Biting: "we do NOT bite mommy. Biting hurts! teeth are chewing food." and walk away... from HIM.
Hitting: "hands are for loving, NOT for hitting. Please use your gentle hands"
encourage him to use his WORDS and save his violent actions for pillows or stuffed animals.
thanks cfmama, i started slapping him on the hands bc my sister in law, who's children are unbelievably well behanved, did the same thing with her two. i have come to terms with the fact that a) boys & girsl are totally different and b) our children have wildly different temperments. While kamea & eva are happy to sit in a chair and eat a whole meal then quietly go play and go to bed peacefully, everything with my guy is messy, loud, and fast.
coondocks~~ I started real milk by that age w/my son so I started giving him carnation instant breakfast drinks before bed and he started sleeping 11-13 hours a night. Maybe you can do something similar like cereal, yogurt, or oatmeal. somethign more substantial than a normal bottle.
Child Rearing
Hang in there!
