So if any of you remember a while ago I talked about how my bf called me a fat *** once during a fight. I'm 155, down from 198. Not the skinny girls he's used to, but I think thats hardly deserving of being called a fat ***.
Well, let me just begin with that we are over, but here's what has happened now:
I recently found out I might have Hodgkins Lymphoma. I'm pretty scared, but being 19 years old my parents freak out about everything (not to mention my cousin died of it), so I have decided not to tell them to protect them. I can't tell my best friend because her mom is in remission from breast cancer so that would be too much for her. So naturally, I told my boyfriend. Yesterday was my second biopsy and I was in a sour mood because of it (which I think I had a right to be). Well anyways, my boyfriend called me selfish for being so rude to him after he had "worked 24 hours fighting a wildland fire" and told me I dont care about him blah blah. I got an hour of sleep the night before because I was worried about him and texted him throughout the night telling him i was worried and thinking about him and how much i love him. Well, that's his job he knew the risks. I didnt ask for this medical condition. So, long story short (there is more to it but I will spare you all lol), I broke up with him. I need someone to support me through this and not call me selfish.
So today he sends me a looooong email and this is part of what he said (FYI: we have been dating for 5 months and never had sex because he cannot get it up):
"I'm actually really glad you did the breaking up. Our relationship was destine to not work from the beginning. I'm not sexually attracted to you. I never have been. Since the beginning. I was very emotionally attracted to you. You're smart, goal oriented, motivated, sweet, caring. All the things that make a great girlfriend and a great wife. I thought that you would be good for me and that it was time for a change. I'm used to dating smoking hot girls with tight little bodies and do nothing but **** all day. So that leads me to another thing i have to admit. I don't have an ED problem at all. I've never had a problem getting it up. I just didn't want to hurt you. I'm just not at all sexually attracted to you.
I did love you. . . but i don't think i was in love with you. There just wasn't any passion whatsoever. I'm sorry i change the way i feel. I didn't want to end it because i thought i could get over it. You can call me shallow but i can't help how i feel. I'm sorry. It would have never worked. I never wanted to accept that either. It was wrong of me to lead you on."
So he didn't want to hurt me, but is okay with doing it now when I'm going through a super hard time as it is?? I know that he is full of it becuase I work in the med field and know that doctors dont prescribe viagra for no reason. And I also know that even 20 pounds heavier i had no problem getting my es boyfriends' up....but still, its so cruel and I'm really really hurt.
Sorry its so long.
what an ***. honestly, he's trying to save face. i'm sorry to hear about about your possible illness. i'll keep my fingers crossed for you- but as far as the boy is concerned. add his dead weight to the 43 lbs you've already lost.
you're doing great- dont let him bring you back down. good riddance
Last edited by IcassiopeiaI; 03-05-2009 at 07:47 PM.
Ok, I am SO SO sorry to hear about your possible diagnosis! I don't know what you're going through, and I know it must be hard. But I would advise you tell you're parents because then you wont feel so alone.
And they might worry at first, which is understandable because you are their child and even the thought of something bad happening to you is terrifying. Its your call though, no on can make you do something you don't want to do.
as for your bf he's an ***. and let me tell you, I think he DOES have ed because I've seen pictures of you that you have posted and you look HOT! You're So pretty and you have a great body. He's using the fact that he isn't attracted to you as a way of covering things up about him. He knows it not that he isn't attracted to you, that he can't get it up, and he's embarrassed about it. Real douche bag.
OMG what an aHOLE! im glad that you broke up with him, you deserve so much better than that. He obviously has no self-confidence if he has to hurt others to make him self feel better!
PS sorry to hear about your possible diagnosis!
PPS good job on the weight loss, your more than half way to goal!
PPSS altho your friend is going thru hard times, you deserve to have someone to talk to, and she would probably want to know- shes your BFF!
As you already know that guy is an @** hole. My guess is that he said all that crap because he is hurt and he is lashing out trying to hurt you. It's ok to be hurt but don't believe a word he says.
I urge you to tell your parents the truth, I am sure they would want to know the truth. If they find out later they will be so hurt that you didn't tell them.
um yea, I totally agree, he is just trying to save face. That email sounded really bitter, and he is trying to make himself feel like he has the last word. YOU broke up with HIM! Lol. Good for you for ending it!
I don't really know what hodgkin's is, but . My parents are the same way with the freak-outs too, so I know that can be tough. Hope everything turns out okay.
WAY TO GO! You did the right thing by breaking up with that a**hole. He didn't deserve you. I am sorry about your possible diagnosis. How blind was your ex? Cause you look very tiny and sexy to me. He really is trying to save face. Don't worry about him. Worry about you. You've done an amazing job so far. Don't give up on yourself.
honestly, if he's that big of a douche than he didn't deserve you in the first place. i know that throughout my illnesses, surgeries, and b**** fests, my guy's put up with it. i guess maturity levels come into play there.
although you may not want to freak your parents out, eventually, they have to know about what's going on. don't you think it might be easier to let them in on your status so they can be supportive for you?
i had the same dilemma before i had my surgery last week. docs didnt know if it was endometriosis or cancerous cysts. my grandmother is the worry wart in the family, and although i wanted to wait until i heard definate news, it was kind of nice to have someone to talk to about it. she even drove 10 hours roundtrip to come up the day of my surgery! although i didn't want to admit it, it was kind of nice having them there!
even if you might think i'm crazy for suggesting it, just think about it. sometimes having a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on is a good thing
Honey, I've seen pics of you before and you're a stunner.
He just got dumped, and is embarrassed and hurt. Taa-daa. He sends an e-mail trying to hurt and embarrass you back. Don't take it to heart. He's a dick. And that's all there is.
Sorry to hear of your possible diagnosis! I really think you need to tell your parents for some support..you should not have to go through anything alone. I think they'd freak out a little more if they found out later than sooner!
As for that jerk...Good riddance...you are a hottie and he obviously has some ED disorder going on...A lot better fish in the sea!
Ok, I am SO SO sorry to hear about your possible diagnosis! I don't know what you're going through, and I know it must be hard. But I would advise you tell you're parents because then you wont feel so alone.
And they might worry at first, which is understandable because you are their child and even the thought of something bad happening to you is terrifying. Its your call though, no on can make you do something you don't want to do.
as for your bf he's an ***. and let me tell you, I think he DOES have ed because I've seen pictures of you that you have posted and you look HOT! You're So pretty and you have a great body. He's using the fact that he isn't attracted to you as a way of covering things up about him. He knows it not that he isn't attracted to you, that he can't get it up, and he's embarrassed about it. Real douche bag.
I agree 100% with this entire post! I just wanted to add though- You are so hot. He is such a loser. Good riddance! You definitely don't deserve a selfish jerk like him.
Could Really Use a Friend...OT
. My parents are the same way with the freak-outs too, so I know that can be tough. Hope everything turns out okay.
he should've thought of that before being an ***
