I know this is so far off topic..and I'm sorry. But I have no one to talk to about this ..
I been married 9.5 years to a wonderful man. We are happily married, one child.
I have never once even so much at really glanced (sexually) at another guy, let alone fantasize about him.
But..lately over the past 3 weeks I am obsessed with this young guy (much younger than me!) He is the age of consent but not yet the age of majority
I'm so embarrased to even type this. A part of me wants to make a move so bad and I've spent 3 weeks trying to talk myself out of it.
I will only get to see this person for another 2 weeks and never again..so if I get thru that I'll be okay. but a little piece of my brain keeps telling me to come on to him the last time I see him. Now or never, you know?
I'm embarrased, ashamed, and feel like a horrible person..except I'm always in a good mood lately and even my dh is telling me to quit smiling and staring at him ..lol (actaully staring into space)
What the heck is the matter with me?
Natalie, it's OK and even natural to have an occasional fantasy about another person. But, my advice would be to keep it a fantasy. It sounds like you are happily married and this could really screw up your life and the life of your child. Sometimes it definitely seems like that other grass looks greener but that usually isn't really the case. Be thankful for what you've got, many others would envy your current life. (and rightfully so). Hugs. Honey, it's not your brain that is telling you to act on this, it's your hormones. So, ignore them and try to channel all that hormonal drive onto your DH. He'll appreciate it.
You're right, I know.
Hubby and I have a nonexistent sex life..we have done it once in 4 years (tmi, I know)
seems like he is never in the mood?? That kinda makes it worse. I was propositioning him all last week but nada..
and this other person is practically half my age! He probably wouldnt be interested, anyway..I'm much older than him...
So go ahead and do whatever you want with him...as long as when you open your eyes, you remember you were just dreaming the whole time. Maybe that would get it out of your system. You just have to keep things in perspective. Is he hot enough to throw away your whole life? I doubt anyone's that hot.
I will say I don't understand. If you are having marital problems then why not talk to your husband? Maybe go to counseling? Why go to an outside party?
Would you feel better having a fling and then the guy disappearing and you never see him again? I don't think you would
ooh, you almost had me there with the first half of that sentence..lol
Thanks for the suggestion, I actually have been thinking about him (very vividly) for the past 3 weeks already and I can barely finish a sentence..
Dh actually said "so, how was he?" referring to ds and I said "who?" ...I will try to sit on it and keep my mouth shut for the next 2 weeks..
Has anyone here had such strong impulses? I never had for someone "in person" and I must say its taking a big test of wills to keep acting appropriately.
Hi Nelie,
Just saw your response. Actually, we 're not having "marriage problems"..usually the lack of desire is not a problem as I'm rarely in the mood too. I just posted that as someone advised me to molest dh instead of the other guy, lol I've counted my blessings many times that I have a dh who isn't always pressuring me for action, as I am frequently sick and a lot of men wouldnt understand..
I really just meant if you have sexual desires that DH isn't fulfilling, then I consider that an "issue". Counseling can sometimes help as well as just talking to your husband.
You're right, I know.
Hubby and I have a nonexistent sex life..we have done it once in 4 years (tmi, I know)
seems like he is never in the mood??
Gawd, I so wish I had that problem, LOL.
Anyway, I'm not the person right now to be giving you advice because I too have had wandering eyes lately. A LOT. I mean, hey, it happens. My partner as well has had wandering eyes. And even went through with it a couple of times.
Some people get to have all the fun
But there ARE questions I ask myself when I'm thinking of someone I wouldn't mind being with sexually - if I'd do it, could I look my partner in the eye again? And how would I feel about myself afterward?
So maybe that will help if you ask yourself the same questions
I am going to take a deep breath here because I am short on sleep and probably not as jovial and kind as I usually am. Know that I am saying this from my heart and this is exactly what I would tell my sister or best friend.
Are you willing to throw away your family for a two week fling? Seriously? Get a vibrator and talk to your husband. Your boy-toy desire will pass. Treat your family with some respect. I bet they love you and hold you in some esteem. Live up to that.
I don't think that makes you a horrible person. Having a crush and fantasizing can really do wonders to make you feel alive again-- it's fun and exciting and gives you something to think about! But the thing is, if you acted on these impulses it wouldn't be fun and innocent anymore. He'd leave, and then you'd be left with nothing more than feelings of guilt. Be strong!
fantasies are ok. But they need to be left at that. Part of the issue that you may be obsessed/fantisizing about this guy is that you aren't being fufilled sexually. Trust me, most of us look. Heck i look on a daily basis LOL. But that's where it ends. I love my DH and trust the world to him...as he does with me. No man could meet DH's love, compassion, friendship, and support that DH meets. And a silly stupid sexual fling is not worth ruining what an awsome marriage i have. But i also have to admit, DH and i have a great sex life..now don't get me wrong..we aren't "Getting it on" everynight of the week 2-4-7. We work and are tired. But we do find time to meet each other's needs, sexually. And yes, i occasionally think about an exBF that was the hottest..and i do mean hottest thing i've ever dated...and tmi occasionally fanasized about him. But that's where it ends. I have too much love/respect for DH and don't want to ruin something with a stupid fling. And that's all it would be. For pete's sake (and this is meant in a silly funny tone..not mean spirited)...as midwife stated...pull out the vibrator (or get one if you don't...trust me well worth the money) and do yourself a favor. It really maybe what you need right now. I would also talk to DH about why the sex is gone...but DON"T be nagging that will just send him racing. ****, maybe you plan a nice night for DH....send the kids to a babysitter, get a nice sexy getup and show DH a good time. But for pete's sake...snap out of it. Its a guy legal but probably way too young and get over this silly obsession or you could potentially ruin your marriage. Do you want to do that??????????
help! obsessed with someone :(
