I've got to say I'm totally creeped out by this entire thread! Not only about some 30 yr old obsessing over a kid (sick enough in itself) but by all the acceptance of that obsessing. Are you kidding me????? If it was my son (I have 2 in the high school years) and I found out some 30 yr old was fantasizing about him I would seriously be looking for some help in keeping her away legally. I'm talking TRO, here!
Get help. No sex for 4 years in a marriage IS a marital problem and NOT A SIGN of a "happy marriage". Get help for your marriage, for you, for whatever. The word "pedophile" comes to mind....it isn't just a label for men, you know. Who the heck cares about "age of consent".....you're wanting sex with a kid! Get help!!!
I agree, this is just creepy, the idea that an adult is even looking at a high schooler is just plan weird, I have teenagers and if I new that someone that old was interested in them or even thinking of them in that matter, well it just makes me sick. It may be legal in Canada but in the US this person would be considered a pedophile or a child molester if they acted on their impluses. So don't be surprise that your not getting the support you so desire because it is just creepy
I thought I was the only one creeped out by this thread.
What in the world would a 30 year old see in a teenager, grade 12 or not he is still a kid! And that comment about age of consent is 14...it's like you are saying it's okay...it's not, makes it even creepier.
From what I've deduced, she doesn't even know how old he is, she's just glad he's over 14 so it's "legal".
In the States, an adult with a minor is rape....and a minor is under 18.
And still, the word pedophile is in my mind....and now, the word ephebophile has joined it. And after reading closer, so is stalker. You've actually driven by someone's house hundreds of times????????
I repeat, get help. And I don't care if this post makes you feel worse or more desperate. You should feel horrible, and desperate, and seek HELP.
So what is the "right" age? If grade 12 is still a kid, what is the minimum age acceptable?
Maybe it is creepy, maybe unusual, and/or weird. It's defininitely different- I don't know anyone my age who would be attracted to a teenager. And, I'm not usually either. I mean, at this age I don't scope them out. For some reason, it's just this one that really is making me nuts..lol
I don't think I have a mental problem because I am capable of finding adult males attractive. I guess I just prefer the younger look? everyone has their comfort zone, for some it might be 20+? For some , within a certain amount of years from their own..for me, it's 16+. What can I say? IF i wasn't married, and IF I had more self esteem and IF I knew I wouldnt be freaking him out and scarring him for life, I would have already made a move.
for me PERSONALLY a person needs to be of legal age and out of school in order for an adult to reasonalbly consider them partner material.
I have friends that have been together years and years and years and have a 20+ age gap. she went to his senior prom. they did NOT consumate the realtionship till he turned 18 AND graduated.
He very well could be 18.
I don't know- maybe I should ask him?
NOT until you are unencumbered by a husband!
there's age gap and then there's cheating. I don't support cheating.
of course if you have permission from a husband, are not in a position of authority over the younger LEGAL age (not age of consent) person and they are out of school. (i.e. he's works at the local store and you see him there when you shop).... that's different.
IN your case, you need to have your fantasy and keep it to yourself.
Personally, I don't like dating guys younger than me at all. I find those that in their early 20s and younger immature and couldn't imagine trying to date them. Beyond that, it is personal preference. I like guys a couple years older than me at least. DH is a couple years older than me and I think that is the perfect age.
Also, for anyone, I think someone in high school is too young for any adult. My biggest issue here isn't the age thing but the fact that you are a married woman.
Natalia...you just contradicted yourself by saying you are usually not attracted with teenagers but then said your age comfort zone is 16+. First off...WHAT? You are 30 and your comfort zone is 16+?! Sorry, but that is sick. And you're married for gods sake! You need to focus more on your marriage and saving it or getting out instead of 16+ year olds.
Leave the kid alone. That's all there is to it. You're old enough to be his mother and you know that it is wrong. It is one thing for their to be an age difference, but the difference between the relationship of a 50 yr old with a 30 yr old and the relationship of a 35 yr old with a 15 yr old is HUGE. Someone that young doesn't need a bad influence from someone who should know better. Just stay away.
Cheating is a very selfish thing. Even if it were with someone your own age, it still is wrong. If your marriage is not fulfilling, then you need to look at fixing it. If it can't be fixed, then you have to make a decision as to if you can accept how it is or if you need to move on. But cheating is NOT ok and can ruin relationships as well as your own self-esteem and self worth.
I'm glad others have also admitted to being "creeped out" by all this--I'm in that boat as well. And yes, "stalker" crossed my mind as well with the mention of driving by someone's house HUNDREDS of times. This kid's age doesn't matter. He could actually be 20 and just have been held back in school a few times--I don't care. He's still off limits due to the HUSBAND factor, and it's an insanely HUGE maturity and life experience (not just age) gap between a grown adult and a high school kid. IMO, age is not a determinant of acceptability. Someone could be 45 and still too immature to handle a real adult relationship (not that I know anything about this guy's maturity level, but just as a response to the general "what age is okay" question).
I know cheating is wrong!
I never in a million years thought I'd
even be contemplating it..
I do not want to lose my husband. I love him very much. I love him as a partner , a companion, and a daddy. I am just losing my feeling of being "in love". And I know things change once you've been in a relationship awhile- its normal to not have the butterflies etc.
I hate to admit, but I think what part of the "thing" for me is, remember that guy I was obsessed with for 3.5 years? And drove by his house nonstop? Stole his transcript, called a professional photography company to get his photos released to me, shoved a condom with a note into his locker, etc?
Guy 2 reminds me of the one that got away..They are a lot alike. So it would be therapeutic? (I know- still not a good idea)
