Hi, my name is Kaitie and I'm a regainer who's losing it all again.
In 2006, I lost 60 pounds. I did it through calorie counting and exercise. I feel like the very same day that I hit my goal of 145 is the day that I started regaining it all back. I never saw myself as skinny. I was a size six and still saw myself as that little fat girl. So, over the past 6 years I gained it all back plus 5. Sure I blamed it on failed IVF's, my mom dying, everything. I'm sure all of the heartache played a very significant role in gaining it all back, but I think the core problem was that I never believed I was skinny. I even have pictures of me in skinny size six skirts and medium tops but my brain didn't see that it was me. It was some other girl. Now ya'll are thinking I'm crazy but hey, that's the way it is. SO! On December 31, 2012--I didn't want to be one of those 'New Year's Resolution' people who inevitable fail--I decided it was time to re-lose the fat. I have had a couple HUGE set backs, pneumonia being one of them but I'm plugging away, keeping my head high and trying my darndest to lose 47 pounds by June 30. I have 14.8 pounds to go. Yeah! Go me! -32.2 pounds in 4 1/2 months is awesome.
Anyway, this time around feels completely different than last time. Last time it was all new and the prospect of getting new clothes every 10-15 pounds was exciting and super rewarding but this time around I'm realizing just how much of a slobby mess I must have been. I'm still wearing the XL shirts from when I was 207 pounds because none of my skinny clothes fit yet. I must have looked like a fashion nightmare if I can still wear the same clothes from 30 pounds ago. Most of my size 14 pants now fit and I wore a size 12 pair of jeans for the entire day on Friday and I didn't die because they were too tight, they fit nicely. Anyway, the calorie counting and exercising is the same as last time--I just wish my old cool clothes would fit me. I've already decided that I'm going to be a constant loser. Always losing weight for the rest of my life. My ideal weight is 128, so if all goes well in July/August I'll regain 25 pounds over nine months and then spend the rest of my life trying to get to 128 because being satisfied with my weight was the kiss of death. (how could I have been satisfied and yet not see myself as skinny? I'm crazy)