handling the naysayers? ADVICE NEEDED!

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  • I did gain it back and I had given away all my clothes (alot), working on losing again
  • I know I'm better at losing weight than keeping it off or getting to goal, which is why I didn't tell too many people about being on IP (esp at work). Now that I have 90 days and some before/current pics, I'm getting a little excited but am still pretty reserved about sharing it too much.

    When (edited from if) I get to 36.3 lbs, I'll be at about one third of the way to goal. I still think it is better for people to notice on their own. And if there are any snarky comments, I'll have to use my Dale Carnegie principles not to shove a fist down their throat and say, "Here, eat this, its protein and LESS fat!" (Don't dull my shine is so much nicer but the visual I got from the fist was so FUN! )
  • Quote: i have heard u say this before and it inspired me...and i told one friend...HEY STOP TRYING TO RUB OFF MY GLITTER!!! haha
    Here's another one I love: Don't blow out my candle to make yours burn brighter. Sometimes naysayers are just trying to seem wise and helpful when really it is just a way for them to stroke their own ego--at your expense!
  • Quote: Here's another one I love: Don't blow out my candle to make yours burn brighter. Sometimes naysayers are just trying to seem wise and helpful when really it is just a way for them to stroke their own ego--at your expense!
    LOVE IT!! will definitely use that one!!!
  • Quote: LOVE IT!! will definitely use that one!!!
    rainbowsmiles - I just wanted to say that I love your healthy nice attitude. Congrats on the awesome job you've done so far on your weight loss journey; you look amazing in your current picture. You, along with so many others on 3FC give us newbies so much hope and inspiration. Keep up the great job! Jen
  • Quote: I did gain it back and I had given away all my clothes (alot), working on losing again

    Bellamack - I would so appreciate it if you could give us some advice/insight on what you feel went wrong after you met your goal weight and what you NOW know that you would do differently if you could go back. I, like many others on 3FC who are just beginning or are close to achieving our goal weight have this as our number one fear. Sharing your experience and wisdom in this situation will help us all to learn from you and hopefully something you say will connect with us in a way that will help us to not be derailed when we start maintenance. Thanks ahead of time! Jen

    BTW: I'm so glad that you've regained your focus and returned to the journey to be a healthier you! You can do it!
  • Quote: rainbowsmiles - I just wanted to say that I love your healthy nice attitude. Congrats on the awesome job you've done so far on your weight loss journey; you look amazing in your current picture. You, along with so many others on 3FC give us newbies so much hope and inspiration. Keep up the great job! Jen
    Jen...what a very sweet thing to say....THANK YOU!!! That means a lot!! WE CAN DO THIS!!! we just ALL need to stick together!!

    Quote: Bellamack - I would so appreciate it if you could give us some advice/insight on what you feel went wrong after you met your goal weight and what you NOW know that you would do differently if you could go back. I, like many others on 3FC who are just beginning or are close to achieving our goal weight have this as our number one fear. Sharing your experience and wisdom in this situation will help us all to learn from you and hopefully something you say will connect with us in a way that will help us to not be derailed when we start maintenance. Thanks ahead of time! Jen

    BTW: I'm so glad that you've regained your focus and returned to the journey to be a healthier you! You can do it!
    i agree....it is daunting to think we are working so hard and omg...i need to start a journal on HOW NOT TO GAIN IT BACK right now...and read it every day!!!
  • I'm not Bellamack but I lost 100# on Atkins and then ballooned back up to 260 over about 8 years (was down to 175 so regained almost all my weight).

    There is really no lesson learned. There is really no secret.
    Anyone who thinks they are going to return to ways of eating from the past is doomed to repeat this path.

    No matter how hard any of us think it is to lose weight, maintenance really takes more diligence. We have to monitor for life and there is none of the feedback you get from the weight loss journey. While losing weight, you get positive feedback from the scale, from other people, and from your clothes getting looser. After you hit goal, all of that stops and then there is the staying there. And "still" being on a "diet" because you CANNOT go back to the way you used to eat. The weight will come back on.

    At least with IP maintenance, if there is a big cheat day, there is a Phase 1 day to regulate blood sugar. But the folks I know usually only have a cheat meal, and don't even like to call it a "cheat" but rather a relaxed meal or a free meal.

    I chose IP, and remain at an IP clinic because I know I never learned how to maintain. I know that will be the crucial part for me, as hard as losing the weight is, longterm maintenance is my goal.
  • Quote:
    At least with IP maintenance, if there is a big cheat day, there is a Phase 1 day to regulate blood sugar. But the folks I know usually only have a cheat meal, and don't even like to call it a "cheat" but rather a relaxed meal or a free meal.

    I chose IP, and remain at an IP clinic because I know I never learned how to maintain. I know that will be the crucial part for me, as hard as losing the weight is, longterm maintenance is my goal.
    i like calling it a "relaxed meal" i so dislike the connotation to the word CHEAT!!

    i agree with you...maintenance must be so bittersweet!!! i can't even let myself go there and fret...i must stay focused on getting it off!! haha

    you give me lots to ponder on....and make me see how important making this a lifetime change is...

    NO GOING BACK...NO WAY NOPE NADA NOT HAPPENING!!!!
  • Quote: i like calling it a "relaxed meal" i so dislike the connotation to the word CHEAT!!

    i agree with you...maintenance must be so bittersweet!!! i can't even let myself go there and fret...i must stay focused on getting it off!! haha

    you give me lots to ponder on....and make me see how important making this a lifetime change is...

    NO GOING BACK...NO WAY NOPE NADA NOT HAPPENING!!!!
    I'm already lurking on the maintainers thread. Wanna learn!
  • Quote: I would say it's like anything. Take your advice from experts. I used to golf and it really irritated me that everyone thought they were a golf pro/coach and wanted to share tips, usually as I was trying to focus on what I was about to do. If they are not an expert you could just smile and drive on. That's worked for me. I just had someone very close to me tell me I was going to gain it all back. That really pissed me off and motivated me. I am never letting myself get that big again.
    OMG usmc! Isn't that the truth on golf! Friggin EVERYONE knows what's wrong with your swing .....

    I'm a bit more forward when people give me "unsolicited advice." I usually just say - "Thank you for your input but I'm good. Please don't confuse me anymore as I can confuse myself properly."

    I basically told them the same thing about the diet. Let me be - I'm a big girl (well, not anymore ) but you get my jist!
  • Quote: I'm already lurking on the maintainers thread. Wanna learn!
    ooooooooooooooooooo good idea!!!!!
  • How to respond? Well, on a good day I say all the appropriate things, like about it being supervised and including veggies and all. On a bad day I resort to sarcasm and say things like, "Wow, I [B]really[B] appreciate your support. It's people like you that make it so much easier!"

    With friends who are expressing sincere concern, I say, "Yeah, I'll dang sure gain it all back if I revert to my old habits. The first step is getting the weight off; then I'll work at keeping it off. Thankfully, this program has four phases and lifetime support." Sometimes direct honesty is the simplest and best approach.
  • Quote: Bellamack - I would so appreciate it if you could give us some advice/insight on what you feel went wrong after you met your goal weight and what you NOW know that you would do differently if you could go back. I, like many others on 3FC who are just beginning or are close to achieving our goal weight have this as our number one fear. Sharing your experience and wisdom in this situation will help us all to learn from you and hopefully something you say will connect with us in a way that will help us to not be derailed when we start maintenance. Thanks ahead of time! Jen

    BTW: I'm so glad that you've regained your focus and returned to the journey to be a healthier you! You can do it!
    Bottom line is, it's soooooo much easier to lose than to maintain. We're following a structured program. Life is not a structured program... (neither is maintenance of weight/Phase 4) When Phase 1-3 is over, you can't go back to what you did before, you'll end up back at square one.

    IMO, there's no cookie cutter answer for this one. You MUST treat food differently & have a different relationship with food for the rest of your life. It's an overwhelming thought and its not going to happen overnight. I still catch myself mid-way through an old destructive habit (eating when stressed, not hungry, etc) from time to time. Now, I donreally think about what triggered the behavior and learn from it and try to do better next time. Happy to report that this is working for me. Use this time on Phase 1 to really think about you're going to do different this time, why do you have these patterns of self -sabotage? Hope that wasn't too preachy....didn't mean for it to be.
  • There are many folks where I work who have done fantastic on IP. Everyone has kept it off except one guy. I heard that he and his wife have extended their fun day to a fun weekend, starting at Friday night and ending Sunday night. Now the pounds are creeping back. Perhaps that's a lesson learned. Fun days need to keep to 24 hours.