I love a cold pint of cider on a summers afernoon, is just a lovely way to relax, radio on, feet up, long cool drink. Diet coke doesn't quite measure up.

Am having an eating day today, I have to confess to having cheese on toast for breakfast, the kids were having it and it looked and smelt great and tasted even better - but did I really have to have 4 slices ????? The worse thing is I am still munching. I have already had my roll which was meant for lunch, was a healthy mustard and ham with cucumber. So I will need to pop out and get something else, otherwise I'll be starving by mid afternoon - will be getting something from the shapers range in boots and not from Greggs, although I can hear the cheese savoury big softy shouting my name from here at my desk half a mile away. Be strong Carol be strong.

Things are still up in the air at work, will share all when I know the outcome, may be a wee while away, but I am determind not to get so stressed today, although by the appetite I have maybe my body has found another way of coping - tough luck body, I ain't eating this much every day - at least it's not chocolate I'm craving it's all wholesome food.

Am going to sprint (not literally) down to Stirling right now in the hope that I can get there and back before the rain comes on, those clouds over the castle look very threatening. I have a wonderful view from my desk it is surprising I ever drag my eyes away to do any work

Carol, you're ok luv, you know what you're doing. Maybe today is your 'wendy' day?
Your veiw sounds lovely. I have a British calendar a friend sent me for Christ,as and this month by the computer I get to look at a beautiful church in Southleigh, Devon, with cows grazing near by, makes me quite homesick, although I do have plans to get home this summer, just waiting on the right price ticket coming along
Now here's a question, where on earth has TQ gone? I know she was having trouble posting a few weeks back, is she still having the same problem. I miss her.
Have a great day everyone.

I was thinking the exact same thing last night Chris where has TQ got to? The View does sound lovely Carol..i've never been to Scotland is'nt that crazy? i've been all over the states and canada but never been to Scotland or Ireland maybe i'll get there if i get home this year i'm a bit worried about travelling with the war and SARS i was going to go to the Edinburgh Tattoo in 2001 but never got around to it..i'm a lazy so and so. Stick with the wholesome food Carol..you'll soon be back on track

Hi girls, Well although I've been off plan today, but not too too bad, I made a good step forward for myself. I had to drop J off for a meting at school so took the opporunity to go to the next town where a new 'Curves' (exercise for women) has opened. I went in, took a friend with me of course and asked about their programme. I have an appointment tomorrow evening to learn more and for them to take all my details and such and then I decide if it's for me. I must say it does look like something I would enjoy, it's a circuit where you use all weight resistance machines for thirty seconds at a time and then change, the whole exercise time is thirty minutes, so not a lot of time taken out of a busy day. The cost isn't bad, 30 bucks a month and you can go whenever you want so if you really want good value for money you can go six times a week. They are open until eight o'clock at night too, so it would definitely fit in with my daily schedule.
I'll let you all know more about it after my appointment tomorrow.
Have a great day.

Sounds good Chris, hope you enjoy it. I would like to make time to go to a gym and use all the equipment, but have no time, so is not even worth dreaming about at the moment.

I made cakes for the school cake sale last night. I don't usually bake and the boys thought they tasted brillant. Made lemon fairy cakes and then using the same recipe swapped the lemon for hot chocolate powder. Sean has asked if we can make some more tonight as he only got to eat one as the rest were for the school. Have to say though that the monkeys were plotting something this morning, they were going to sneak one each out of the tin in the playground before going into school. Am flattered that they liked my cooking - I might bake more often.

Even better it was a weight watchers fairy cake recipe.

Am back on track this morning. Woke up determined to do this again and put the last few days behind me. My best friend who also struggles with her weight has been lighter than me for years, following this weeks weigh in there is only half a pound difference between us. In the name of friendly competition I just have to get lighter than her, just once.

While I was driving to work this morning, I saw a young woman, maybe about 18 / 19 walking along the road, she was a very large young lady. In one hand she had a pint of full fat milk and in the other a mars bar which she inhaled in 2 bites. But all the time she was eating the look on her face showed that she wasn't enjoying it. I drove away from the lights knowing that I knew exactly what she was thinking as she was walking past all the stationary cars. She felt that we were looking at her because she was so big and she was eating the mars bar so we all knew why she was fat, but really she as eating the mars bar because she was miserable and stuck in that eating / depression loop. And that she was eating it to show us that she maybe be fat but if she wants to eat a mars bar in the street she will.

I knew about this young woman in the 30 seconds I was sitting in a queue of traffic. It was so tragic to see her, it was written all over her face that she was unhappy in her stance and everything.

So I am determined for that young woman and myself that I will not to get myself stuck back there, but to move my weight forward and downwards.

Best go do some work, not sure I am making any sense.

maybe she was thinking at least I'm walking off the mars bar unlike the people in cars eating them

Hmm I'm gonna get that TQ back here

Thanks Smiling for the story, it sounds like that poor unhappy young adult has an awful large pain to deal with in her life. I feel very sorry for her,but Veggie, you are obviously a great mind reader...hit the nail right on the head!

Well done for the fairy cakes....cor it is years and more years since I cooked. Are they very friends for slimmers?If so...if I have not missed it somewhere else, could you post them for me?

Had my session with my psychiatrist today. He is a lovely friendly chap and he does have a sense of humour.We are looking for a local place of accomodation and 24 hr respite care that I could use in times of dreadful mental health to get me over the crisis point. This would stop me going to hospital 60 miles away in Chelmsford and would be far less stress for me, Holly and the neighbours, as well as everyone else I have forgotten to mention!

Have a good evening everyone, Be good!!!

love from Teel

Got out of making more cakes tonight, but have promised to do them at the weekend, have made a trade with Sean (8) I'll make the cakes if he makes me a boiled egg and toast soldiers

seems like a fair deal to me

Am going to have to tidy my house today, it is a bomb site, once the kitchen and bathroom have had a lick and a promise and the washing is put away it will look better - hopefully. Was mortified last night when I came in from work and a pal of DH's was here and on the top of the washing pile in the livingroom were two pairs of my oldest knickers. Said to ray after he's gone that if I wanted to his pal to see my knickers it wouldn't have been those old ones and it would have been in a more seductive environment - good job Rays got a sense of humour.

Am determined to have a good day today, eat well and exercise.

Brought myself a new notepad for journalling what I eat and some coloured stickers. Whilst in the shop I had the idea of giving myself one coloured sticker if I stuck to points, another if I walked, another if I did some other exercise, swimming, aerobics, etc and another one if I didin't have a drink on that day.

The idea being that in a few weeks I would be able to look back and see at a glance how I had done, in a few days I suppose.

Going to start it today need to make a decision on what colour is waht, not sure I am up to deciding that this earlier.

Lets have a good one

How come our drawers always end up on top of the pile of washing when unexpected guest s arrive hey? I have had that happen to me too Carol....AGH! The coloured sticker idea is brilliant, let me know how it works out for you. I often look back at my daily journals to see what aI ate on a good loss week, but ti's hard to find stuff sometimes, I'm sure those stickers will help you know what you accomplished, you really are full of good idea's luv. Have a great Sunday

Am very tired, totally over did the good living last night and indulged in too much vodka. The result is I am exhausted and Ray has fallen asleep on the couch so I have to stay awake to keep half an eye on the boys.

Was vegging out on the couch watching the grand prix, but was starting to drift off.

My boys are off to their nan's caravan tomorrow for a week with my mum and dad, so I should really be packing a bag for them, but that would take more energy than I can find at the moment.

Am feeling awful, was not the vodka making me feel bad yesterday but my first and only cold since last October. By bedtime last night, my head, throat and ears ached and I didn't feel any better this morning.

Have slept the morning away and vegged out on the couch all afternoon. Have phoned Gail, very lovely weight watchrs lady and explained I won't be there tonight and asked her to mark up my card with a holiday for next week.

Am off to keep my germs to myself

Poor Carol, hope you feel better soon, take some meds, a good cup of lemsip should help.
Ca you believe it's snowing here right now? It's absolutely horrible out and the snow has settled on the ground. I thought we were done with the stuff! It's spring after all and I was wearing capri's last week, now it's back to wooly jumpers and big boots!
Am off to curves later for a session, am really looking forward to it, the snow won't stop me ( I hope)!

Am feeling much better now, still have a snuffily nose and the red sore bits to go with it.

Eating has been all too pot - suppose I'll just have to get weighed and face it

Should have mentioned I have a new support team, A, A2, I and J (all women at work) have all been encouraging me to stick at it, as they can all see a difference. J keeps mentioning my 'lovely (?)' slim face. While A stopped me in the corrider and said how well I was doing, the other A has reccommended her dressmaker for alterations, "as I need it" and I smiles at me when I enter the room and periodically nods and mouths that I'm doing great.

J is losing weight with WW as well, haven't repaid the compliment yet don't want to comment until I really notice something, don't want us to start trading empty ones, but I know she has lost 11lbs. But she has told me not to count a point for the week I am away as I deserve a break.

These ladies like all of you make me feel great and special and sure that I am going to do it this time.

Just had to share all that with you, Ray won't appreciate it, will go right over his head and my two best friends are struggling with their weight at the moment, so don't want to rub their noses in it - Linda if you're reading this you are doing better that MA, but she is trying hard.

We can do it ladies all of us, baby steps baby steps