Okay marie I took the plunge for starting the April Chat

Lots of interaction here lately, it's great

hope, I also hope it warms up for me but stays cool for you We did NOT get the 14" of snow predicted for the 1st, just got an inch or two but we still have FEET of it laying deep in the yard. I will gladly take a week of rain to get rid of it.

marie congrats on getting that load off your mind (giving your notice)

10 more days until I'm out of the winter job! and then I have a good 2 1/2 weeks off. I have so many things to tackle, inside and out. Unless we have miraculous weather change I won't be doing the outside things, grr, but I can work inside (again, just getting at clutter, throwing out clutter while I am alone during the day with no one to get in my way)

I have lost my waist ...that is so hard to admit because even if I felt fat all over else, I had a good waist but it is hidden under a roll of fat..yet I still shove high calorie sugary junk from work in my pie hole Even the thought of my employers noticing and commenting to each other (as I know they do) doesn't curb me. Gah.

well I have been keeping up with exercising even though it doesn't do much against the total calorie overload...I will find my groove soon, i hope!!!

Hi Holly your waist will be back in no time keep at it hun it is really nice here in wales no snow and the temp is going up i love it

Marie well done on quitting your job you can finally be happy about not having to go there each day hope your feeling better. I down in London from this froday for 5 days

Thanks everyone for all your support and kind words im hoping to get a 14lbs off by july for my 30th birthday xxx

I enjoyed the retreat but I was sore the whole time from my training session... I need to vent about soo much don't know where
I referred 2 people to the gym and so I get a free training session at the gym. WELL I scheduled it with the trainer that I had the group session with and after the group session I told him that my knee was hurting...well 30 mins I was on machines and then did like 3 exercises with him and then he brought in the other girl who was training with him (shed been training since sept with him) So instead of me worrying about me and what I could do I was trying to keep up with here (she was probably 60 lbs lighter too) So instead of it being a personal one on one training it was a you go on machines while i wonder around then Ill throw someone else in with you....ERRRRRR....Well he wanted me to do 10 mins on the stepper and I only did 8...could have pushed myself to do more but I knew my knee would suffer...then after I reminded him im taking it easy on my knee he wants me to do swats.... Just aggravates me...well NOW I can hardly walk on my bad knee..took non inflammatories the whole weekend and been heating it but dont have time to really sit with my leg propped up....im just flat out mad...if your a trainer you should know HOW to work AROUND an injured knee...flat out you should just know....Didn't go to the gym today but gonna go tomorrow and use the pool if I have to just to get some exercise in....

Today just aggrivated with the kids...they drag their feet, dont listen...Then from not going to the gym in several days I can feel it mentally and have house work that I need to do so I can be caught up and not get further behind but you think I wanna do it....um NO...
then feeling this way makes me just hate myself and how I act...sigh
ok thats all for now
Hope everyone else has a better Monday

momOf4, glad you enjoyed the retreat! That is a real bummer about the free training session, though. I don't know where you go or how the train/hire, but there's a huge degree of variation in the amount of training one may have in order to be a "trainer." Some places just train in house, while others actually hire those with degrees. If you don't have injuries or special considerations, it's probably fine either way - but it's a problem if you do!

Ems, London sounds fun, hope you enjoy it!

Holly, after your winter job ends will you have less temptation from the sugary stuff? Way to go on sticking with the exercise either way... personally I have this tendency to skip the exercise when I overdo it on junk and that never ends well!

Not sure how much I posted about this previously, but my current job is a temporary position and things are winding down which means two things: first, I need to find another job; and second, my hours are dwindling so I am bringing home smaller paychecks (I'm paid hourly). I'm actually excited about moving on to another job, but the process is daunting. The two places I already applied didn't even call me. But the biggest thing is that I spend so much more time sitting at home getting down on myself. I don't need to have every waking hour of my life spent doing something concrete, but when I'm not busy at least half the day I start to get really depressed.

Iris, I'm the same way, too much time on my hands equals depression and beating myself up. I hope you find another job quickly and without a lot of stress.

Mom, that does stink about your training session. I had a bad experience once with that. I had a trainer who was young and good looking ( not my choice, sadly I don't trust this type of person). And sure enough, he was more interested in other better looking girls in the gym than working with me. This was partly his age and his ego but I was wishing I had someone who was more mature or had dealt with this problem themselves.

Vermont, I know you are having a hard time but I still admire that you are working out. I can't seem to get myself back into doing that. I know it would change everything and yet I don't. I know what you mean about people looking at you and seeing the weight gain and talking about you. I know it's happening to me at work. I know it even though I don't have any evidence of it. I've gained about 25 lbs since October. That's ridiculous, and yet even that knowledge doesn't stop me. What is wrong with me?

Hate when I get into sticky situations and get out but they still stick to you when you walk away...sigh...Im sure that probably didn't make sense but i cant really get into details...nyway

Today wasn't as bad...let me share..I am really really having a hard time with my temper....I lose it over stupid things....With kids I remember their just kids but not ALWAYS in the heat of the moment. Because its a struggle for me to do everything I do when they mess stuff up or spill stuff cause they are just goofing off it makes me soo angry...I guess because I knew how much effort and time it took for me to clean what they just messed up and when they destroy stuff or waste stuff I dont have money to just throw around we are on a tight budget and so it makes me MAD when they waste things or destroy things cause its no big deal to them. I have gotten better at organization...keeping up on my laundry and my dishes....only one small area upstairs to organize and one area downstairs...so i have been working HARD to eliminate those areas so I don't snap because im stressed....but I cant seem to get a hold of this....I know I have to change my thoughts...its just hard

hope-I didn't think he was like this...he does not act very egotistic but he does seem to find all the girls but he is nice guy...I went to him cause they said he was the most aggressive (like would push me) but I expected that meant to also pay attention to my issues. Just frustrated I wasted my free session on him and I don't have 30 + dollars for another session with someone else!

iris-my friend just split from her bf and she called me and asked me to find something to help her keep busy cause the more she sits at home thinking the worse it gets...So true it gets worse when you just have time to think!

ems-Im sure you can do it your on a roll!!

Vermont- that is soo hard to know its going the wrong way and not be able to stop it...I hate that feeling! That is awesome most people would stop the exercise also...so thats wonderful you kept up with it!!

momof4, I hope you get "unstuck" from your situation. =) I also have trouble with my temper when I'm down. Lately I've been snapping at my BF and I feel horrible- it's always about something stupid that really doesn't matter but I get frustrated sooooooo easily sometimes.

Hello Hope and everyone else! Hope your week is off to a good start.

I'm applying for two more jobs today: one is back east and is also a temp position (would last till about October). I'd like to go back but I know my BF can't move at the moment... but I think this job and being around family and friends would be good for me. I love my BF but he is really my ONLY support out here and that gets rough. The other job is here in the desert and might be more oriented toward my future goals, but will definitely ground me here for awhile and I'm concerned that may continue to fuel my depression. I've been agonizing over this job situation, but I figure I should just go ahead and submit my resume to both and see where it goes from there.

hiya, iv had a really ****ty day but i want to share it with you. my family is multi racial and multi sexual (I have a lot of gay aunties and uncles) but I have never experienced racism 1st hand, I was in a taxi going to the train station this morning and when it pulled up at the station i saw my father in law who is anglo indian so i cheerfully said to the cab driver, oh cool theres my father in law i can get the train with him, he said what the packi...... i flipped out and went mad at the guy how dare someone talk about someone i love like this!
anyway i carried on my day as normal, i got the train with FIL and had a good chat and i forgot about things, when i got home tonight my husband asked me about my day and i told him what had happened & i havent stopped crying. never in my 30 years have i had this even with my black cousins and my husbands asian step family this is the 1st time so one has said to my face something racist i am hurt to the core!
I am fighting the urge to rant about small minded racist people (sorry i wont bore you)
I have been brought up to love everyone unless they hurt you and it makes me sick that his cab driver can make comments like that without knowing what a descent man he is talking about.
I cant stop crying i know its only a little thing and i should let it roll even my FIL said forget about it, we know we are better then then as we get to know people 1st before casting opinion.
its no different to people not liking us because we are overweight, it really does make me angry.

I also had parents evening and it was confirmed my youngest has learning difficulties she is very intelegent but cant read or wright at aged 7yrs i had a feeling but it was confirmed tonight. I cant wright very well and my spelling is bad, i have had to spend the evening telling my little girl just because she is dyslexic doesnt mean she is stupid, the poor little lamb is so upset i called my dad who is a very sucessfull and dyslexic man to tell my baby how he got through it and made something of himself. she has massive support i hope she embrassis it like i did. the sad thing is my eldest is a very cleaver girl with high grades i just hope bubs doesn't compare against her. my heart is all over the place.

On top of that as i am leaving my job in 2 weeks i am getting all the ****ty job i feel like just walking out but i need the income so i an suffering it!

Thanks for reading i needed a rant

For all you girls having a tough time i hope it gets better for you soon. sometimes i think im not depressed at all life is just this ****, and i am the only one that reilses it xxx

iris-that would be hard to decide where to go...I am sure it will work out!

marie-I don't know how bad it is but I am sure she will do better with help. My 7 year old was behind in reading until this year then he really took off. I am dyslexic I actually said my words all backwords until like 2nd grade. I had it very bad but turned out pretty normal. I do better in English than my husband lol....Get whatever you can find to work at home. It doesn't all have to be HARD work they have matching word games and all kinds of stuff...computer games!!!! Make it fun. I will find some of the sites I used for mine online with learning games!!! Sorry about people being rude!! Its not ok no matter what the reason! I hope you enjoy a quiet night with your family!!!

Ouch, Marie, lousy day! I think tomorrow can only be better... and hopefully your up and coming new job will be an improvement.

I wanted to report that I actually went and applied for the job here in person (as stipulated) which was quite an inner struggle. Tonight I talked to both my BF and my mom about the two jobs... I know which I would rather have but I think the other one is best for me. For now I have nothing to lose by applying to both - who's to say either will even want to hire me? Maybe fate will decide.

Tomorrow I have a big meeting for my current job which I am not looking forward to. I'm in research so basically we are going to be troubleshooting and trying to figure out where to go from where we are. I feel like I haven't been doing enough lately, but it's not entirely my fault - my supervisor at the lab has been non-responsive and I don't want to waste resources trying procedures he hasn't approved. I don't know how things will go down, I just hope I don't look like the slacker.

Hello chicks

Iris, that is a tough dilemna about the jobs, always tough to decide between what you would like better or what would be best in the long run...best wishes for that decision to be resolved Good luck with the meeting today and yes, once I am out of the winter job (ONE WEEK FROM TODAY!) I will be removed from the temptations. I realize there is temptation everywhere but it is especially hard there, because I don't get a break to eat something proper that I bring, and that just makes me so resentful.

Marie, Oh you did have a terrible day! First i'm so sorry about the ignorant taxi driver and his comment...you did right to defend your dad-in-law, people just open their mouths without thinking but it sure was wrong. I'm not even familiar with the bad name that the taxi driver used, I mean I know what its in reference to, but is it on the same level as using the 'n' word for an African American? We have a member in our motorcycle forum that uses that word and I just don't even want him to be a member of our group because of that.

and so sorry to hear of your daughter's learning problem, that must be hard to take, dear! but I hope that now that she is diagnosed, she can get specialized attention to help her. Yay to our momof4 who beat dyslexia!

momof4, that trainer was a tool for just sticking you on a machine!! you SHOULD have received one-on-one training. Can you go to the desk (or whoever) and explain that you were shortchanged, and get another 1/2 hour? I hope your knee is better!! and YAY To you for keeping up with your laundry and dishes, to help your stress level!!

hi ems, how is London and you are always so nice and upbeat, it is a pleasure to read what you have to say and we will support you on your birthday goal losses!

hi hope Is it staying relatively cool for you where you are? I do know I am always yacking about wanting the cold and snow gone but it's true, do I want such warm weather that I have to wear a t shirt and show these ham-like arms. Are you still with 2 jobs, and is that a long-term thing? that must be so tiring, and then to find time to do things at home.

HI to Aunty Jam, and buddly, and I hope I haven't forgotten anyone.

I am feeling soooo self-conscious at work because of being bigger, and they (employers; and they encourage my co-workers to gossip) are so shallow and rude. I really, really should make THAT my focus for self-control; to lose the roll around my waist and get super fit so I can make their mouth drop when they see me in a month after our time off I would LOVE it for them to say, 'wow, you've lost alot of weight' and then try to embarass them by saying, 'oh, you're saying I was fat before? why are you looking so closely at your employees that way?' or something like that I can't seem to find any other motivation goals so I might as well focus on a shallow goal like that, lol.

Hi everyone and thanks for all your comments, I was really in a bad way last night it was like everything come on top of me at once, I am ok today just feeling down and unmotovated, im stuck at work and all i want to do is go home and see my babies.
Iv been eating crap all day as well normally i am really good at work but today its all gone to the dogs and I have pigged out. I will do better tomorrow!!

Vermont, its the same as using the "n" word but to relate to asiain's. not nice hey. your work people sound awful, but you stick at it honey and throw it back in there face when your slimmer and feeling and looking good! (that is so my kind of goal)

Iris well done on applying for the jobs fingers crossed for you I hope you get offered both so you can take you pick

Mom, thanks for what you said it helps, if you wouldnt mind could you send me some links to web sites you used with your son please?

ems, 5 days in London you sure you dont want to move here have a great time. Im 30 in July to (on the 26th) that is one of my main focus for weight loss I want to have a beach theamed party but no one whats to se me i a bikini this size.

Hi hope how you doing at the moment?

Thanks everyone xxxx

thanks marie I'm glad that you agree that is a wicked good goal for me

Hey, hopeforme, look what I found - I was going through last summer's Chats (I wanted to read what I wrote, when I am feeling GOOD and trying to remember what it feels like to feel GOOD) and came across this -

Wasn't that fantastic?! I sometimes need reminding that YES WE CAN DIG DOWN DEEP AND DO THIS and this is a reminder that you did!

Hope, that's awesome that you won a biggest loser challenge for $400! What an inspiration =)

VermontMom, sometimes showing off to people who snubbed you can be a great motive. I really don't care if it's petty - it's very satisfying! Two years ago on New Year's eve I saw some people from my past and I felt great flaunting my weight loss in my little black dress.

Marie, I hope you feel more in control of your eating tomorrow. It sounds like you are under a lot of stress (this always makes me want to eat crap) but try to think about your new job and how much nicer it will be!

I got an interview for the job I think will be good for my "professional development" but is not in the location I want. I'm going to give it my best and see where it goes, and I have to remember that it's ultimately my decision - they could offer it and I could still say NO. I am just not sure what is best for me right now. I am also concerned that the pay might not be enough, but again, will have to wait and see if they offer me the position at all!

Vermont, YOU ARE SO AWESOME!!!

Thank You!!