It's probably the main contributor to the low self-esteem I've always been in battle with.
I never went to a high school dance, not one. Didn't date throughout school at all, in fact, didn't go on my first date until I was 25. I then settled for the first guy I went out with and didn't know how to dig myself out of the relationship, one that turned out to be so unhealthy and self-destructive on my part . . . it's now three years after the break-up and I'm still recovering from the mental/emotional abuse I suffered.
I do feel a lot better these days though. I'm in a great relationship now and am making an effort to put my life back together and keep everything in perspective. Been losing weight too and am a lot healthier & happier overall.
Mainly, I'm a lot more comfortable being me than I've ever been. The number on the scale doesn't matter, nor even the number on the clothes tag . . . it's all about our health and happiness. Making the choices that will bring us that health and happiness. And while I can be anxious to see those numbers move, in the end it won't change who I already am on the inside.
The hard part's always been letting that real me shine through since I'm way too self-conscious and worry what other people think way too much . . . if that makes any sense. Because it's really hard being the fattest girl in the room, not finding a flattering swimsuit, being teased for your size and not knowing how to handle it, etc. . . it takes time to learn what really matters and what doesn't, not to mention
who really matters and who doesn't.