Xan - Oh my, I hear you. That Coke demon and candy machine are da debil. I've never been able to resist one when having a real job, except when I've planned specifically how to avoid them. They're just too easy to resort to. Congrats on consciously working on them!
Valerie - May your knees feel better.
Xena - The horrible stress of people waiting for you to finish something! Sounds like you are very good at what you do though, so...it takes as long as it takes, and I'm sure the people waiting understand that too.
I don't know anymore if I want to get the HIDA scan on the 9th. The "biliary colic" ("pain in the gallbladder area but no gallstones so we're not sure what the heck is going on yet") has both moved to under my lower ribcage AND subsided to where I *barely* feel it taking a super deep breath, so it's like, it's not bothering me at all anymore. The scan is 1500 bucks that I really don't want to spare right now—I'm self-insured, so that is just a chunk of my deductible—but then I think who knows, the pain may return again later...what to do what to do.
Up early for ToM reasons. And ToM and diet-related mental freakouts. This happens every time I devote my consciousness to my life rather than bury my head in the sand. I think it was triggered by some jealous/guilty feelings last night, which this morning got me to thinking about how I just don't understand guys, and then to thinking I've been directionless since quitting my last real job seven years ago, though I suppose in retrospect it's not really a job that gives direction, but it sure as heck gives structure. Well, I don't know if directionless is the word, more like, not moving forward? Not doing things, laying down new memories, marrying, beginning family etc, and I probably only have a few years left for that, it's really ticking down and what the heck have I been doing? And living here is great for being around my family, but awful for personal growth and meeting people. Meh, I guess it's not so bad; I just need to get out more, ha. Bah.
Seven years! Of just screwing around! Not moving forward! Where's my kleenex?