12 Weeks to go.......
Okay, I will start by saying this may be a LONG post.....
My hubby is finally doing better. It is exactly 4 months today since his accident. (He fell off a ladder and broke BOTH of his legs, requiring surgery. One leg has 1 plate and 3 screws, the left leg has 3 plates and 21 screws.) He is walking without crutches and even walks short distances without his cane. He still has a limp, but continues therapy 3 times per week. I am finally back to work full time (although I liked the other schedule MUCH better!)
I took out my calendar and counted. 12 weeks until my daughter's 8th grade graduation. Hmmmm, 12 weeks. If I lost 2 lbs per week, that would put me down 24 lbs. But I know that won't happen for me for 12 weeks straight. If I even lost 1 lb per week, that would see me down 12 lbs! I would be excited for that! I am ready to refocus (yet again!) and do this. The graduation is just a mark for me, I want to lose this weight for sooo many reasons. Most importantly, I want to lose it for my own self esteem. I really don't LIKE the way I look. Yeah, I can disguise the weight with clothes - I'm actually pretty good at that. But I want to be in pictures and LIKE how I look in them. I want to wear shorts or a bathing suit and not be embarrassed with my size. I want to look in the mirror and SMILE!
I'll tell you a little something I noticed. While I was taking my husband to therapy, I was going on the treadmill or life cycle for 30 min, 3 times per week. When I stopped going, I didn't gain weight right away, but my clothes started fitting tighter again almost right away! That little bit of exercise REALLY did make a difference! And 30 min was really NOTHING in the big picture!
I have decided that I would REALLY like to be one of those women who is ADDICTED to exercise! Ultimately, I have a secret desire to really tone my arms and abs and legs and have beautiful, defined muscles! Ya know, kind of like Katie Couric did when she was working out regularly a few years back? Not that she isn't in great shape now, but she had some really nice upper arms! That is a secret desire of mine. I have never shared that with anyone before. So now ya know something about me that my husband doesn't know!
So, in that regard, I have decided to join Bally's. It is next door to where my daughter goes for dance 5 times a week, so I really shouldn't have too many excuses to miss too many times. I have to go by there 5 times a week anyhow. How can I miss more than once per week? And maybe, just maybe I will start to see results. And then maybe, just maybe I will be one step closer to being addicted to exercise. Which would make me one step closer to having those awesome defined muscles!
I am not sure how I will feel at this place, but I won't know until I try. So I am going to pick up the phone now and make an appointment for tonight. I am going to go and check it out and sign up for a month anyhow. I want to focus on fat burning for now, with just a little bit of toning. There will be plenty of time for those muscles once I have begun to lose some of this weight. Plus if I build muscle, I will burn more calories even standing still. But to begin, I figure 30 min of cardio and another 15 to 30 min of weights 3 times per week should help me get on the right road.
And if I am going to put all this effort into exercise, it only makes sense that I should be more careful with my food choices. I will start off small, but I will stop and REALLY think before I eat. And I will drink more water. (That always has a way of getting away from me if I don't focus on it!)
I REALLY do want this to happen. But the only way it will happen is if I MAKE it happen! There are no magic cures, wands or pills. It is hard work, focus and committment that is required! My life is crazy busy, but I wouldn't change it at all! And my kids are only 13 and 8, so I have many more years of running them everywhere before things start to slow down. I can't wait until then to lose this weight. Because if I do, I will have a LOT more weight to lose than 35 lbs! And I will miss out on too much of "life" because I am ashamed and hiding myself. I need to lose the weight now so that I can get out there and enjoy myself! Dress in beautiful clothes and feel GOOD about it! I want to just plain feel good about who I am.
I know I am a good person, and that my size and body does not define me. But I have also been down this weight before and know how i feel when I am thinner. I LIKE that feeling and I want it back!!!! I want that confidence, the ability to put on shorts and sleveless tops and know I look nice. To not be the woman at the deli counter whose butt is so big that little kids make comments.
So that is my story and my plan. Thanks for listening. I will keep you posted on my progress. Coming here does help to keep me focused. When I stop posting here, I start gaining weight. Let that be a lesson for myself!
Have a great Monday and welcome to spring!
Sharon
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