[chibir3dpanda]

Okay, so since last year I have lost 33 pounds, but that was only by starving myself and working out like crazy. But one day, I got tired of feeling weak, and tired from not eating. So, slowly I managed to get myself to eat again. I still worked out, but for like the past 4 weeks, I've been eating like crazy, and I've gained back 5-10 pounds. I've been so stressed lately, busy as **** so I guess that may be part of the reason why I've been eating a whole bunch. But anyway, since I have pretty bad depression, when I eat a whole bunch of crap then go look in the mirror, I start to cry and I feel like I'm worthless, and that nobody will ever love me because I'm too fat. And then when I think about that, it leads me to thinking that I should just kill myself. I desperately need to get back on track, I really NEED to lose those pounds I've gained back THIS MONTH. I currently weigh 148, and my weight loss goal is 123. I really need some help right now, I'm so upset by this, and I have absolutely no motivation. I feel like crying :'(

[lucindaarrowspark]

You are a lovable and valuable and important human being irrespective of your weight.
I know you feel like crap and I know how hard it is to refrain from eating all the wrong foods. You are not weak or lazy or slovenly. you are an addict. You are addicted to sugar and sugar is a demon lurking in all sorts of unexpected places.
sugar= white flour=booze=pasta... you know the drill. All the easy crunchy spicy chips and tacos are loaded with sugar.
sugar is a mood altering drug. Sugar leads to depression.
isolation is the catalyst for indulging in the addiction. So is social eating which is just a way to be isolated in a group.
I know how alluring starvation diets can be because the sensation of extreme deprivation numbs the pain of addiction.
rather than go for an all out starve, which can not be used to maintain weight loss, give up on sugar entirely . and count those calories. you can lose and maintain by staying between 900 and 1300 calories a day. You can live on that amount with out triggering a starvation mode in your brain.
Just remember you are worth it, you are star dust, you are golden you are precious and you have an immortal soul destined to create goodness here on earth.

[shapedself]

First off, you're still down a lot of weight and road bumps can happen. Weight isn't everything. From your post it sounds like you've got other things going on that you may want some professional help with. Get some help in your area.