Okay fellow CC's I need your opinion,
For my entire life as long as I can remember, my parents and I ALWAYS have after dinner dessert. Usually either cookies, ice cream or pie. So since I started CC I still have after dinner dessert but I tailor it to fit in my calories. (Like right now I'm having 1 cup of milk and 6 Hershey's Kisses, and I am still under for the day.) After dinner I always automatically think about what I'm going to have for dessert and I cravvvvve it, then I eat it and always feel guilty and like Im undoing my whole day even though I always stay under my calories. Should I feel guilty and stop having dessert because its not good to give into cravings and eat at night? Or keep doing it because it's good to treat myself AND I always stay under calories when I do it? HELP.
I feel your pain...I too am used to something sweet after eating dinner. However knowing how bad sugar is for our bodies there are substitutes. You can always use stevia to sweeten fruit crisp or other desserts instead of ingesting actual sugar. I believe the sugar is more lethal to our bodies than the actual carb...Just my opinion though...
I always have a post-dinner snack - I just make sure I budget for it and try to make it relatively healthy. It satisfies me, otherwise I'll fixate on food all night.
First of all, timing (such as eating at night) doesn't affect weight loss. Some people like to stop eating at a certain time because if they don't they are prone to bingeing. But simply eating after a certain period of time worries you, there are tons of studies out there that demonstrate timing of meals has nothing to do with weight loss. It's one of those pesky little myths that won't seem to go away
Regarding dessert after dinner... I come at it from a different point of view. I used to look at desserts and sweets as something I earned, a reward, a treat. I thought, like you, I HAD to have a sweet after dinner- it was non-negotiable!
I moved from sugar-based desserts to artificial ones (sugar free jello, etc). But that only reduced the calories, it didn't change the association I had with "deserving" desserts and "needing" something sweet. Advice that someone else on 3FC once said is "question all your assumptions. EVERY one of them." This has helped me change habits and behaviors I always thought I had to work around.... first it was lowering my carbs and cutting out bread, then it was reducing processed sugar... etc. I have really worked hard lately at not eating a sweet after dinner. I don't "deserve" dessert- I deserve amazingly healthy and tasty nutritious foods!
I have nothing wrong with dessert- I definitely have it every now and then when I want it, and I have more of it on special occasions- birthdays, holidays, etc. And sometimes I do crave it after dinner. But breaking the association I had built up between after-dinner relaxing and dessert has been huge in reframing my whole attitude towards sweets.
I have a major sweet tooth, so I can relate to your post. I don't see any food as "forbidden" as long as it fits into your calorie count. I often eat dessert, and like you, I can and have gotten into the habit at times of eating dessert every night. Personally, I try not to do it simply because it makes too much of a dent into my daily calorie total, and if the dessert is too high in calories, I end up hungry the next day because I have to cut back on food (I start my "day's" calorie count with dinner).
Also, keep in mind that what works for us at one point may not work for us consistently. At one point, I was fine with eating dessert most nights. It was only later that I realized I'm better off not doing that. However, who knows---maybe a month from now that will change. I've learned to be flexible.
You could try smaller desserts, that might suit you, or maybe alternating smaller and larger desserts. A dessert for me is a satsuma (about 30cal) or a very small piece of dark chocolate (10-20cal), and I don't do this every night. I still get a sweet craving after meals, some times more than others, and this seems to work for it.
Whatever you do, drop those feelings of guilt right now! You're still staying on plan, and guilt merely sabotages things.
I'd be more concerned with the need to eat everything your parents serve you-- with the social pressure of eating (or perceived social pressure) that you're describing. There's food all over the place but that doesn't mean you "need" it all, you know?
Another vote for continuing to eat dessert if in your calorie budget and still losing. The only way I finally succeeded in losing 100 lbs. is when I made up rules for myself that I could live with, not trying to follow what someone else deemed the way I should eat.
Absolutely have desert after dinner. Why not? If you make yourself stop then you might come to resent that. It's apart of your lifestyle and as long as it's within your calorie limit and you are losing while doing it, I think it would be more detrimental to stop.
My fav thing to do is to buy a gourmet cake or tart and slice it up into 100 or 150 calorie portions and freeze them :-)
If it's working for you, no need to change it! I think it's great that you have the self-control to eat sweets in limitation.
If you are looking for sweet alternatives that are a healthier option one of my favorites is Trader Joe's 0% mixed berry greek yogurt (110 calories). I also enjoy herbal teas for a sweet fix, my current favorite is Celestial Seasonings honey, vanilla, chamomille; I add a little Stevia to it for sweetness. Fruit is always a good option too, sweet with a higher nutrient density than other dessert options.
No matter what you choose to do, kick the guilt. I firmly believe that "guilt" is one of the top ten worst enemies to permanent weight loss.
We make weight loss about being "good" and being "perfect" and then when we think we can't be as good as we want to be, and are sick of feeling guilty and "bad," because of it, we choose to give up to stop the bad feelings. You don't have to give up to stop the bad feelings, nip the feelings in the bud and do what you plan (and if your plan doesn't work the way you want it to, change your plan - but no guilt necessary).
Thoughts on after dinner dessert?
