How ya'll doing today? Great, I hope.
I'm at work (of course) and the phones are ringing crazy. I dislike Saturdays VERY much.
I had a hair appt at the mall yesterday (going shorter) @ 5:30 and we got there about 4:30, so I had time to kill. BAD decision.

I always try to get there right about time for my appt because if I don't, then I have time to go
shopping. Needless to say.....by the time it was time for my appt, my hair cutting $$ was gone.

Dh and I do have two new pairs of New Balance shoes though... just perfect for exercising.

Oh well, I just rescheduled for next week. I'm thinking I'm going to get some highlights too.
So, I'm standing there in Rack Room shoes, waiting on the "oh so slow" salesperson to come ring up my shoes, and behind me, I hear, "Hey... Tina!" It was a girl named Heather that I have known for a long time. (about 10 years) The last time I saw her, she probably outweighed me by 50 lbs. When I saw her last night, my eyes almost rolled out of my head.

She was SO
thin. Well, I don't know if I would use the word "thin"... perhaps,
beautiful would be more the choice. She looked better than she did in high school. (I've seen pictures) I was absolutely blown away. Turns out, she had gastric bypass surgery and has lost 122 lbs. in the last year and a half. At one point, this girl was my nemesis. She was the first person I hired when I was managing the marketing dept. at Olan Mills and when I left and moved up, I gave her my old job. After I left, she ran me down to all my previous employees and I called her on it. We were at odds several times and even had a couple of shouting matches. Years later, long after she and I both were gone.... we both got a job at the hospital. (ironic, huh?) This time, we were both more mature and she didn't feel intimidated by me, so we seemed to get along fine, although there was still the underlying animosity between us, but we both held it down.
When I saw her last night, she looked genuinely happy. I was VERY happy for her and was very genuine with her when I told her how beautiful she looked. She proceeded to tell me about the procedure and how she had no problems and that her mother and friend were having the procedure done as well.
After I continued to *gush* over her appearance... (I just couldn't stop staring) she looked at me and said,
"So.... still going to WW?"
I very calmly looked at her and told her yes, that I was still following the WW program. She said, "I thought you had lost some weight." I told her...."Yeah, about 60 lbs." She said, "Wow, you're doing it the hard way." I said, "Yeah, but it will be worth it, I think."
Now, that above paragraph was not to knock anyone who's had gastric bypass surgery or anyone that is thinking of having it. It was
only to relay the conversation between two people.
I'm not sure what she meant by asking that question, but I'm leaving it alone. There are just way too many things to ponder, too many inuendos, too many old bad feelings that will come to the surface. So, I took it for what it was..... an inquisition regarding my weight from a person who has lost all of theirs. Whether she said it because she genuinely thought I had lost weight or she brought it up just to say, "Naa Naa" I'm thin and you're not." Who knows?
I do know it had me thinking most the night though. Thinking about the surgery itself. Thinking if I had it done, I WOULD be one of the horror stories. (because that is just my life) Thinking she took the easy way out. Jealous because she looked so fantastic and I felt all clunky and fat standing next to her. Angry because she stood there holding a Victoria's Secret bag talking about how happy she was that she could finally wear something from there without falling out of it.
I was a jumble of mixed emotions..... and still am. But I'm working it out. While I honestly am happy for her, I can't help but feel jealous and anxious. I know these feelings are probably very normal, but I hate feeling this way.
Ok, I've rambled on long enough about that. Time to move on. I guess.....
Kat: I SWEAR, on a stack of bibles.... I was going to call you to see if you were ok, but I couldn't find your phone number. I had it written down on the directions I had printed out to tell me how to get to Thompson, CT. but I believe I threw those away and you know the old computer was on the fritz at home, so I didn't have a way to even see if I had them saved somewhere in an email or PM. I am so thankful you are ok. I did say a prayer for you and your family though.
Natalie: That DVD sounds really cool. I've never really thought about belly dancing as exercise, but I bet it would really work and Lord knows...that is my problem area. Let me know how it goes and have fun seeing your Dad today. P.S. You did sound VERY positive about the interview. Good for you!
Mary: Hey there sweetpea. Not sure how you're feeling right now, but know that we've all been there or at least close to it. Also know, we love you just the way you are and glad you are here in some form. *hugs*
Pam: Thanks for the good morning wishes. I, myself had to be at work at 7:00am. Don't you just LOVE working on Saturday?

Can you
hear the sarcasm there?
Thin: I was thinking about you also during the power outage. It sounds like you and your family made the best of it though. I'm glad you all made it ok, it sounded really scary... of course, I'm scared of the dark anyways, so I would have probably been a nervous wreck. P.S. Is your dh going to the race this weekend?
Lori: I liked the website with your cat's pictures. Too cool! Thank you so much for saying what you did in one of your most recent posts. Sometimes you know what they say.... out of sight, out of mind and I just don't want you guys to think that I'm not here because I don't want to be. I had thought seriously about renting a computer, but dh doesn't want to pay all that money for something that we're not going to keep and we're expecting our child tax credit back any day now. Thanks for the idea though.
2cute: Quote:
And I can't forget the importance of EXERCISE. That has really helped me not only physically... but also emotionally and mentally.
Thank you for saying that.... I needed to hear that. I've been lacking somewhat in the exercise dept lately, but I'm hoping to do better. Got new shoes now....so why not?
Michelle: I'm crossing everything I have for you that you will get that job.....even my eyes.

And.... I don't think it matters that you just got your job in June. You need to be where you're happy. I'm happy for those people that have jobs that they've been at forever and ever... it's a good feeling, I suppose and they must like them or must be paid exceptionally well. I think sometimes you just have to find your niche. Good luck my friend.
Joanne: So sorry to hear about your *new* engine troubles. That really sucks, doesn't it? I'm still having problems with my car too....pouring oil like you wouldn't believe. Dh swore he'd fix it as soon as we got home from our trip...but it has yet to be done? What is it about men and procrastination?
Sandy: I wish I had the $$$ just to go buy it off the shelf, but unfortunately, I don't. I
have to wait for my check. We've had a lot of expenses here recently with school starting and all that jazz. I sure will be glad to get one though.... I *hate* not having one at home. Thanks for the idea about Dell too..... I'll check it out. {{hugs}}
Andria: I wish I could reach right through this computer and give you such a great big hug. Please feel me doing so... {{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}} I'm so happy you feel safe enough with us to share your feelings. I'm sorry you felt bad yesterday, but you can always trust us to understand, not judge and most of us have been there. I have had days where I just wanted to cry till I was dry of tears, yet I didn't know why. I wanted to cry for everything and for nothing at all. How very wise you sound, not crazy at all. Keep your head up and be strong, but it's never wrong to let your feelings go sometimes. I think it's always better than keeping them bottled up. If you ever want to talk privately, you can PM me or email me at
[email protected]. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Alright my peeps.... I'm going to have to head out of dodge for now....I've been here forever. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and if you don't see me till Tuesday, don't worry. I'm still here in spirit. I'm off Sunday and Monday and won't have access to the old computer till then. Try to take it easy on me so I won't have too much to read.
Naaaaa, go crazy so I'll have lots to print out and read!
Take care and please know I love you all.
