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Old 04-28-2011, 11:00 PM   #16  
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I'm so sorry to hear he did that to you and it's just horrible that he tried to turn it on you! UGHHH!! I've dealt with the bs being turned on me so much (I even got blamed for being abused that if I wouldn't bring up him walking off on me so often for his ex he wouldn't have gotten mad and I wouldn't have gotten my mom's keepsakes broken and I wouldn't have gotten beaten...)

My most recent ex boyfriend also cheated on me so I know your pain. All night his ex barged in and was feeling him up right in front of me, then she said "I'm sooo tired, I'm taking your bed" and since I had to go to work he FOLLOWED her into the bed! Then he had the nerve to say "it was for warmth" when I felt his dick and it was still wet from her! ugh sorry for being graphic but some guys are just complete jerks and aren't worth it. They'll always be jerks and sleezebags but we're better than that and deserve someone who treats us right....end of my rant lol sorry I saw him by chance earlier today so he's on my nerves and I'm trying my hardest to not end up binging.

Big hugs! You aren't alone hun. Just remember we're awesomer than that lol
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:08 PM   #17  
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Quote:
Definitely passive aggressive -- and NOT worth it! There are nice guys out there and you DESERVE one!

If I was you, I wouldn't make another move to contact him. Quit him COLD TURKEY and go buy yourself something really awesome to wear, or perfume, or jewelry.
Agree!!!

Sometimes these things happen and we don't know why... And sometimes we will never really know why-- but is there an excuse, really?? It is not because of a flaw you have -- it is he who is flawed. It doesn't matter what the reason or excuse is. He is a jerk. Please never speak to him again. Once a lying (cheating) a**hole, always a lying (cheating) a**hole- they DO NOT change, you CAN NOT help them. You deserve better.


I know because I was with the king liar of all jerks (loooong story) and wasted three years of my life (some people waste longer). I was broken after this relationship, the depression of it had a large part to do with my weight gain... Another story... And I was done and didn't think I could love or trust anyone again- and then I found the most amazing, brilliant guy when I wasn't even looking and he is perfect for me in every single way. Sometimes you have to go through the bad to appreciate the good when it comes to you. It sucks. But it makes us stronger.
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:09 PM   #18  
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Heck yeah! Color your hair or get some highlights and treat yourself to a spa day!
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Old 04-29-2011, 12:17 AM   #19  
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When you're cheated on it's natural to ask WHY. The answer is always the same. They lack integrity.

It doesn't matter if you weren't perfect. It doesn't matter if you weren't satisfying his ______ needs. (Fill in the blank)

If you're in a committed monogomous relationship you don't cheat. THE END.

On the bright side you weren't married and there are no kids.
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Old 04-29-2011, 07:20 AM   #20  
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I agree with everyone. This guy is not worth your time. You are much better off. Cut ties with him and never look back. It will save you a lot of time and misery. No relationship is better than a bad relationship!

Last edited by 4star; 04-29-2011 at 07:20 AM.
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Old 04-29-2011, 08:18 AM   #21  
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When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong -doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out

and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life

~Quote from Brian Andrew Chalker website here.
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Old 04-29-2011, 09:45 AM   #22  
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Personally if you are in a relationship with someone I would expect the internet profile dating site to come down that simple.

If I keep my dating site up even if I have my profile hidden in my eyes I'm not looking for this "relationship" to last and I'm out there seeking "better" opportunity. When I met someone and we become an item and are officially together I would expect full out deletion of his online profile and as well he can expect it from me. Don't be too sad over it, he clearly was a loser and there are a LOT of them out there. Just go back out there and start fishing all over again.

Read it's called a breakup because it's broken. It's a really good book and it will more then likely help you through this.
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Old 04-29-2011, 09:57 AM   #23  
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As hard as this will be to hear, it sounds like he WANTED you to see the emails. Why else would he be showing you his email account? If he upset you enough, you would walk out and break up with him so he doesn't have to take responsibility for being unhappy and breaking up with you.

By responding to you that you'll never hear his voice again and you shouldn't want to talk to him, he's kind of confirmed that.

Chalk it up to life lesson learned, cry for a little while, then move on. It's really all you can do.
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Old 04-29-2011, 10:03 AM   #24  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaP916 View Post
As hard as this will be to hear, it sounds like he WANTED you to see the emails. Why else would he be showing you his email account? If he upset you enough, you would walk out and break up with him so he doesn't have to take responsibility for being unhappy and breaking up with you.
I was thinking that and a lot of guys are like that out there. They don't want to come across as the ******* and for some reason they don't have enough balls to do the breaking up, so they do stupid things like what he did. Or continue to pick little fights all the time until you get fed up and say it's not worth it and you break up with them.
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Old 04-29-2011, 10:26 AM   #25  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnP View Post
When you're cheated on it's natural to ask WHY. The answer is always the same. They lack integrity.

It doesn't matter if you weren't perfect. It doesn't matter if you weren't satisfying his ______ needs. (Fill in the blank)

If you're in a committed monogomous relationship you don't cheat. THE END.

On the bright side you weren't married and there are no kids.
This. Exactly.

Cut him loose, and don't look back. I've had this happen (while married +6), and it's not easy. I'm sorry that it happened to you.
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Old 04-29-2011, 11:56 AM   #26  
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Best medicine for a bad man is a better man Same applies to women I suppose.
Get someone new!
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Old 04-29-2011, 12:08 PM   #27  
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how awful, but i have to ask did he actually meet some one or was he just looking on sites?
Good for you for kicking him to the curb though shows your strong, go get your self a better man
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Old 04-29-2011, 01:00 PM   #28  
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I'm so sorry you are going through this! Sounds like this may have been the first time something like this has happened to you. And it can be a real shock!

Like here you are, a normal person brought up with normal values. If you care about someone and commit to a relationship, then you wish to honor that and treat the person with dignity and respect. And not do weird, lying, deceitful, NOT innocent things. NORMAL!

I remember when I was about 20 years old, I had a boyfriend who did some similar stuff to what you are posting about. I just absolutely could not even BELEIVE it, as we (in my mind) were really enjoying each other and the relationship. It shocked the s^*& out of me that there are these really broken, manipulative, screw-loose, self-destructive, plain old douche bag people walking around who cannot have a normal loving relationship -- and instead of keeping to their own kind and leaving us NORMAL people alone, they try to prey on us to suck some of our light into their abysmal existences.

Yep, unfortunately they are out there in mass quanitites. Best thing you can do is learn from this, understand that people will only treat you as crappily as you allow, and keep on searching, because there are plenty of people with NORMAL values out there, too! A man you don't have to constantly watch your back with. Which you deserve!
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Old 04-30-2011, 05:30 PM   #29  
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Good for you for leaving. Never look back. You can do better than someone who is willing to behave like that.
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Old 04-30-2011, 09:47 PM   #30  
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You've gotten some good advice on this thread. How are you these days?
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