The only person who knows that I'm on a diet is my husband. Last year I lost 30 pounds but after 6 months I gained it back so all friends were disappointed of me. For that reason I prefer this time not to say anything .
I use to talk about it with my friends. But its so hard when you fail, or mess up that you do that in front of everyone that you told. I lost weight b4 and was looking great made new friends and everything (they had no idea at the time I struggled with weight) but now Ive packed so much more on, they look at me diffrent and everything. It sucks! SO from now on I told myself If Im going to do this, Im going to make it and keep it personal! Sure I talk to my bf about it , but he is very understanding and I know he doesnt think less of me because he understands my struggle, hes watched his mom and sister go through the same thing. It just makes it easier to not let everyone know. I even had let my mom and gma know about it (BIG MISTAKE) They always ask oohhh hows your diet goin? And its like "oh fine" but in reality Its "oohhh i cheated and I mest up, AGAIN!" But Ill never say that to them. My grandma use to work for weight watchers so shes all about portion control and no 2nds and Ive eaten enough and bla bla bla. Shes very critical and at her age she thinks she can say whatever she wants..alot the time she hurts my feelings. But like I said, its easier just to keep it to yourself, unless you want everyone to know. But I dont personaly!
I find all these responses so interesting. I'm also curious about the reasoning behind the people who do tell their family and friends that they are trying to lose weight. Do they do it so that their friends and family can support them through the journey? Or are there other reasons?
I kind of fall somewhere in the middle. Right at first, my mom, stepdad, and boyfriend were the only ones that knew. Then it got to my Grandma and my sister... Now maybe a dozen people are really aware of it, but I do post things occasionally on facebook about going to the gym or whatever, so who knows, people might be paying attention.
One person who I decided today I'm going to try to actively *not* tell is my biological dad. I don't see him too often(Even though he only lives like, 30 minutes north of me ) And I'm curious to see if I can lose enough before I see him again that he actually notices... Or my stepmom, or any of the family I have up there. Like some of you have said, I don't want people complimenting me on my loss if there's not actually something to compliment on.
I'm totally with you! For me, its more the fact that I dont want to draw anymore attention to my weight than people may already be thinking internally. By discussing it with people, it opens a door for a conversation that I dont have to have with most people - especially people who are not fat, never have been, and have no clue what i'm dealing with. I also have a very fragile ego when it comes to my weight and any additional criticism would be painful!
the only person that really knows everything is my mom because we are going at this together. other than that, i don't like talking to other people about it at all.
This is such an interesting thread. I never knew other people felt about it the way I do!
I hate to talk about it and draw attention to myself. Just as others on here, I've lost and gained and lost and gained, so when I'm around other people I eat kind of what they do in order not to let on.
Except for my son who is also losing weight, I have not discussed anything in detail with anyone. Family lives 3000 miles away, so that's not an issue & I don't see them often at all. My social life basically stinks & I cocoon myself with work so much at home anyway, so that's not really an issue to where I feel I have to mention it to what friends I do have...everyone is busy with their own lives and families to begin with. Everyone will eventually see on their own. The one person that did notice recently is the lady at the Japanese Grocery Store I go to that I buy my Shirataki from..lol...she greeted me yesterday with, "Oh my goodness, hello! so good to see you! Oh my goodness...you're getting skinny!!!" Being that she's about 5'2 and 100lbs, that felt really good to hear from her!! lol
As far as people I know personally, my family knows it, but that's pretty much it. I don't like saying anything to anybody because I really HATE the advice that others want to give me, especially, "You don't need to lose any weight!" I know my body, and I know how I feel in my own skin, so I hate when people say that to me. I have shared with others that I have lost 65 lbs. (when I first made it to my goal weight) when I could sense that they wanted to talk weight loss but felt uncomfortable with doing so with me thinking that I had always been 120 lbs. and that I wouldn't understand. So, when I can tell that it will be beneficial, I will share my weight loss history with another person.
There have also been times when I have been hurt by the condescension of someone who assumes I have never been overweight and makes a bitter comment toward me such as, "You can eat whatever you want because you're so skinny!", saying it with an attitude of resentment. In those circumstances I will usually let them know about my weight loss so they know the reality of my situation and instead of being bitter towards me, they actually have someone who understands and can offer support if they want it. Usually, once they know my situation their attitude changes and then they want to know how I lost my weight, etc. I can understand their attitude, but it still hurts. These attitudes and comments from others hurt me just as much as when I was overweight. I don't know why exactly. I guess it's because it hurts being judged by someone based on my weight and their false assumptions about my current weight. I was that girl who was bawling her eyes out in the dressing room (several times) when a size sixteen pair of jeans were too tight, and when I wanted to buy something "special" for my husband but I looked horrible in everything that I tried on. I could not stop crying, and the poor lady working there that day was doing everything she could to comfort me, but to no avail. I knew that there was nothing that could really help me feel better except to lose my weight and feel comfortable in my own skin again.
I feel like the weight loss efforts are personal, I discuss them very openly with my bf, we live together, he does a lot of the cooking. Now that I'm down a significant amount, my family, friends and people I know have noticed (I've changed jobs, and the people I work with now have no idea how much weight I've lost). I'd rather keep the ups and downs of it confined to here and bf. If someone asks me, I'll discuss it in brief.
I guess I feel like most people I know irl can't relate/understand what I've gone through and am going through.
my sil has 3 boys in their 20s, they're all 3 college or ex college football players (very big guys). just this past weekend she was talking to a young, slim blond woman in her twenties (in front of me) about having had 3 boys and said: you don't want to have a 300 lb daughter! (they both laughed.) I know she wasn't trying to say anything about me, but I couldn't help feeling like someone here could use a little sensitivity training(!) (she's known me at my highest weight)
I have totally given up on talking about my weight loss journey to anyone, my family included! I have lost and regained the same 10 pounds in the last 3 years. At this point, it really has to be a lifestyle for me or it will never work.
The one person that did notice recently is the lady at the Japanese Grocery Store I go to that I buy my Shirataki from..lol...she greeted me yesterday with, "Oh my goodness, hello! so good to see you! Oh my goodness...you're getting skinny!!!"
That's great! I love when a compliment like that comes out of the blue when you're least expecting it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonwoman64
you don't want to have a 300 lb daughter! (they both laughed.)
Wow! I am so horrified when people are so ignorant of what they say.
I completely understand your struggle, it's the same for me... and I always try to wiggle myself out of a situation like refusing a piece of cake for a co-worker's birthday without mentioning that I'm avoiding it cuz I'm trying to lose weight. It's nobody business anyway. It's the same with my friends, we go out to eat, I say I'm not very hungry and pick a salad or healthy appy. It's not because I want to! It's because it's the only thing on the ******* menu that's under 800 calories!
It's good to have support like here, online or through a journal or whatever, because it allows you to rant about these things without "annoying" your partner or coworkers or friends.
I think it gets hard for everyone at times, the world doesn't need to know that you're counting calories, but if that's what you need to do to get to your goal, you're gonna have to do it wether the world is watching or now.
*I meant to write:
I think it gets hard for everyone at times, the world doesn't need to know that you're counting calories, but if that's what you need to do to get to your goal, you're gonna have to do it wether the world is watching OR NOT.
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) And I'm curious to see if I can lose enough before I see him again that he actually notices... Or my stepmom, or any of the family I have up there. Like some of you have said, I don't want people complimenting me on my loss if there's not actually something to compliment on.
for my husband but I looked horrible in everything that I tried on. I could not stop crying, and the poor lady working there that day was doing everything she could to comfort me, but to no avail. I knew that there was nothing that could really help me feel better except to lose my weight and feel comfortable in my own skin again.
