Still struggling to haul myself back on the Beckmobile. WHY do I struggle for one month every four months, it seems? I do well enough for four months to see progress and feel progress, then have a month of decisions that are less than stellar that set me back on the scale. Mentally, I'm wrapping this month up today. I find myself LOOKING for splurges. I'm struggling and DH basically keeps saying, I find an hourglass shape on a woman very attractive, I don't want you to lose your butt. I don't want you to look like a preteen boy. ... Okay, hon. There is NO WAY my body shape will EVER look like that and even when i was 25 pounds down, still an hourglass - always have trouble finding clothes that fit my waist if they fit my hips, so they are always altered. I know 100% that he would love me however I am, but I look around and see temptations more often when he says things like this. I keep trying to bring him to focus on our shared goal of the hiking trip later this summer, but no success. I need to make it my priority, and not hope that it's his, too. When he strays, I'm giving myself the excuse stray and this isn't working. Thanks for letting me vent and gripe about my poor choices here. Beck's book is coming out for another start tonight.
We went to see The Iceman last night (violent but I knew that going in). Was so frustrated with myself to see that I missed The Angel's Share ... need to write the title down to rent when out on DVD. Anyone seen it and liked it? Came home at midnight and, though chilly in upper 40s, we lit a fire in the firepit and sat outside under the full moon for about three hours until 3 a.m. Out of my norm. But oh, so relaxing. And yes, it did include a few toasted marshmallows for me and a s'more.
I ate an early (4 p.m.) lunch/dinner so I could eat with him before he left to work night shift. Now he found out that his boss forgot to tell him that he didn't have to work this weekend so he could do other sked next week - we made no holiday plans because he worked all nights until Wednesday. Grr but good news once it sank in, as we'll tackle big yard projects, I hope.
We went back to the nursery and walked in the muck for another hour, looking at all the possible newcomers to our home
and picked the one that we both loved earlier this week, but was too $$ and too big. We kept coming back to it and I said we go with our gut instinct, so it'll be delivered and they'll help us plant it. I think it's about 12-14' tall. Then ... build the retaining/border walls, etc.
Bill: Keep healing, and keep reading. Your book sounds very much like the movie I watched a few months ago. Illuminative and educational and frustrating and shocking. I remember running into my kitchen to look at ingredient listings only to find the dreaded HFCS crap in my stove top stuffing and "natural" blueberry muffin mix. The two things I DIDN'T look at the ingredients on. And I typically make my own muffins/coffee cakes and not from a mix. They're still sitting in the pantry. Grr.
Maryann - Your weekend plans at the cabin sound so wonderful.
Beth - Good luck with the continued smart choices, and enjoy the festivities! Major credits for doing so well.
Lexxiss - Credits for taking care of "your stuff" ... I feel guilty when I do things for me instead of for the house/yard/DH ... and am ready to dump that feeling tout suite.
IBelieveInMe2 - YAY on getting to the gym and being at a 9!!
Spanky - I have been laughing at the image of the end-less (literally) croissants that your son wouldn't notice were missing. Great image and honesty.
HHMommy - Hope you have a wonderful weekend with the mother/daughter outings. Sounds like fun. I never had that with my mom, though I had wonderful times with her. We never did "girly" things. And I wouldn't count the glass of chocolate milk as a negative myself! If you were hungry, I find it a filling option.
Vegan - Kudos for passing on the mac and cheese (I chose to mention that one because I LOVE it, but never have found one that I like as much as the one I make with 1% milk, etc., but I keep wanting to TRY others)... You go! Keep on staying strong!