Granted but it's 16 in dog years so you are now 112.

I wish I had become a marine biologist.

Granted, but you get laid off and get evicted. (uggh, sorry, it's on my mind).

I wish that mini-pie I wanted hadn't been 350 calories.

Granted, it is 3,500 calories.

I wish that I never had to work again.

Granted, you got fired and permanently blackballed from all future employment by your last employer.

I wish my teenage kids could figure out how to replace the toilet paper.

Granted, but they did with the pink perfumed kind that grandma used to use and everyone knows that stuff sticks to everything!

I wish I had a personal trainer.

Granted, but he is personally training you on washing out public toilets.

I wish I was at the Tiger's opening game today.

Granted, but you are sitting in the stands naked.

I wish I could run super fast.

Granted, but you needed bionic legs to do so and during your first run there was a huge downpour and they rusted up so you can't use them anymore.

I wish the housework could do itself.

Granted but the housework decided to evict you for not doing a good enough job.

I wish it was warmer today.

Granted. You find yourself in the middle of the Sahara with nary an oasis in sight.

I wish I didn't have to go to school (to work) today.

Granted, you no longer have to work Mondays, but you have to work every Saturday and Sunday.

I wish my daughter wasn't looking at colleges 1000 miles from home.

Granted, she has decided to live at home for the rest of her life rent free and job free.

I wish I had a new bike.

Granted, it's a top of the line 10" bike for a 3 year old with training wheels included. (You probably won't need the training wheels ;-)

I wish my laundry was done, folded and put away.

Granted your laundry is all done and put away,, To bad you left the red lipstick in your pocket now it's all over everything.

I wish I had a new puppy!!

Granted: But, your puppy is really a 120lb Great Dane that will pee lakes in your house everyday for the next 10 years.

I wish my husband was home from the war.